Forigveness is hard. Forgiveness of self for most is even harder. We all make mistakes. None are immune. Perhaps you are one who had an abortion, perhaps cheated; or even scammed employees out of their retirement. None of this? Maybe you killed someone while driving drunk or just murdered someone in a gang bang or drive by. Regardless of the mistakes you have made; there is hope and a future for you. The impact of self- forgiveness is something unimaginable until you have truly been there.
It’s not about just reciting a bunch of affirmations to say ‘I forgive myself’ and yippy yay. No. It is much much deeper than this. It is about the revelation and acceptance that 1) you make mistakes, 2) ‘How did I not know better’ will keep you in bondage, 3) ‘If only’ is a lie and trap, 4) you can and will move forward in life. The impact you will have after the fact will not only change you; but those around you and those around them and those around them.
It is hard to grasp at times what we as people do. Some things are harder to grasp than others. We all can look back on our lives and probably find something to regret- but why? It will keep you only replaying it day after day. Regret should have no part of your future. Forgiveness of self though should.
You are you right where you are although the question is: is it the real you? Are you really the you that your Creator intended? If you are harboring self-unforgiveness for the mistakes you have made you are not living. You just aren’t. You can’t. You are not living as the you that you were created to be. And isn’t it time?
Isn’t it time that you let go of the shame of the past? The condemnation and guilt? The regret? The embarrassment? The loss? The lack and all that comes with it? Isn’t it time to stop living in diminishing returns to get to your real life- the one that is and has been waiting for you?
You can have peace. It’s yours for the taking. It’s been there. Victory is yours all you have to do is fight to get to it; not for it. What are you waiting for? One more mistake to make so that you can fulfill your self prophecy? That doesn’t make sense. You were created for much more than that. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Make today that you forgive yourself so that you can see that. Make today the day that you disallow anything to come upon your life that is a lie. Make today the day that you start living as you were created to be. You will be overjoyed that you did.
People and society will always have an opinion; whether a good one or not is really not relevant. It’s moreso the fact that others think that they have your life figured out when in reality they can’t even function in their own lives.
Society will always try to change you by telling you what you ‘should’ do. The media does it and people don’t get it. There once was a time when the purpose of the media was to report the news; those days are gone. Now the media just makes the news instead because people are proving incapable of making decisions for themselves.
And so it goes you have been deceived. You probably have been told what you should wear for the next season. You have been told what car you should drive; what neighborhood you should live in. You probably have been told that by now you should at least be married, if not already divorced with three kids you never wanted in the first place. Oh and you should have at least a BA or BS but in today’s world you really should think about getting that MBA if you expect to go anywhere in your career.
Yep. I heard it all. I heard all the shoulds known to man. I dated the man who actually told me, ‘You should dress like her, talk like her, and wear your hair like her. Then you would be beautiful.’ You should have seen his face when I walked out and never looked back. And don’t tell me I should have; unless it was just to see the look on his face. But I already knew.
So it begs the question: are you living the life you should be living? Or are you living the life others think you should be living? It’s a tough question I know. I once was there. I had the Bible teacher tell me that at age 37 I should have a teeanager because that is where I ‘should’ have been. There is a systematic order to how life goes you see. Yeah sure. I see the misery on the faces of all the people who followed what others said they should do. It goes the way it is supposed to go for each of us and it’s only until we stop the shoulds that we can be free.
If you are trapped into living what others think stop. Forgive yourself and do it quick. You don’t want to live for others who aren’t even doing it for themselves. That doesn’t even make sense. You are where you are and while it may not be where you want to be; you are the one to change that. No one else. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap that thinking the boring house in the suburbs will answer all your questions when in actuality you are miserable but just biting your tongue waiting to escape. Forgive yourself for not being true to who you were created to be. Life is short so don’t let another day go by where you think about what you should do instead of just doing it.
We all are where we are and the best part is that no one else can get you where you should be except for you. So today; where do you want to go? Where do you want to go that you know you should have gone back then? There is nothing stopping you; no more coulds or shoulds. Just you. Get out of your way, forgive, and get to where you are going! You can do it. How do I know? Because I did.
Regardless of times there always seems to be another woman for many. Even in the Bible Rahab was known to be the other woman so it shouldn’t be surprising that women haven’t changed much. Forgiving the other woman provides challenges without a doubt. While we could all blame the other woman it may surprise you to learn that women are at the brink out out-cheating men. It’s a wake-up call that if you are not taking care of your spouse someone else is. Now does this mean all people cheat. Of course not! Those who come out saying men were not created to be monogamous are just revealing their character. Those who do know what it means to be faithful and remain that way are revealing their character as well. 57% of men and 54% of women have admitted to infidelity at some point in their lives. The average length of an affair is 2 years years. The percentage of marriages that survive infidelity is 31. ( http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/) This means that the odds for success are not in your favor! So it begs the question: what are you doing to protect your marriage? What are you doing to take care of your spouse? What are you doing period? It’s clear there is a war on marriage and that other people truly do not care if you are or are not married as in reality; if they did care an ounce about anyone but themselves they wouldn’t go after a spouse in the first place. Again their character is revealed. If you are a position of learning about the ‘other woman’ here are some things to help you go through the forgiving process. 1. Realize she may not know about you. The other woman may honestly not know of your existence! It’s not like many men are going to meet a woman and introduce themselves as married with children and then ask for an affair. The other woman truly may be as much a victim as his lies as you the wife may be. Of course there are those woman who do know but don’t get too upset and revengeful toward the other woman when she just may not have a clue. Forgive her for being what she is an move on. You have bigger fish to fry! 2. The other woman is not your problem. The other woman in your marriage is not your problem; your husband is. If he is having an affair then he brought her into your marriage. Period. Getting angry with the other woman won’t resolve your marital issues and in some cases; may create more. Your vows and marriage are between you and your husband; not the other woman. When women get sidetracked by the other women they don’t see the real situation at hand. The real situation is that there were problems in your marriage before there was an affair. Again; that has nothing to do with the other woman. Forgive her and get down to taking care of your marriage and family. Remember a house divided cannot stand. 3. She is not worth it. She is well; the other woman. She isn’t you. She isn’t the mother of your husband’s children. She isn’t respectable. She isn’t worth your grief. Why? Because you are a better woman than that to give time to such nonsense when you have a husband and marriage that needs to be your first priority. See; all too often women spend more time and energy being angry and revengeful toward the other woman instead of starting at the starting point. What caused your husband to cheat in the first place? Of course it was his decision but understand that both of you are in your marriage and cheating really isn’t the problem. Cheating is a symptom of the problem! Cheating has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else! If you want to keep your spouses eyes only for you then ask yourself today:”Am I doing what I need to do to take care of my marriage?” And then make changes from there. Don’t live not forgiving the other woman when you have more that needs your attention.
One of those most painful experiences in life outside of the death of a loved one; is learning of infidelity of a spouse. It’s heartbreak at it’s deepest form. The lies, the deception; the other person. Forgiving someone who is that selfish is hard to grasp. Forgiving someone who cheats is a challenge for many and with reason. Forgiving someone who thinks nothing of the marriage or even you is mind boggling to say the least. Forgiving a cheating spouse who makes the choice to destroy a marriage, a family or two; and futures is probably the hardest to understand. If you have been there then you know.
The great news is that you can forgive. Is it challenging? Absolutely! The process of forgiveness is one that takes people on a journey of the pain and grief of the loss, the anger that settles in, the resentment and unforgiveness that spill over into what once was. If you open your heart it will be transformed and your future will be waiting for you; as it always is.
See; there are times in life when we all think that life will go a certain way but what I’ve learned is that life is what happens when you make plans. I didn’t plan to be cheated on. I didn’t plan to lose a child. I didn’t plan for my life to be filled with what it’s been filled with. But- I did purposely intend for it to be filled with forgiveness. My prayerful hope is that regardless of what that cheating spouse did or does; that your heart too is filled with forgiveness. Why?
1) Forgiving a cheating spouse isn’t about him/her. People do what they do regardless your forgiveness is about you for you. People are people and well; hurt one another. We all have hurt others and have been hurt. It’s what we do with the hurt that changes lives for the better. If you want your life to be changed recognize that your forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s about you and the choice to forgive.
2) Forgiving a cheating spouse is about your freedom. Harboring unforgiveness steals. It steals your joy, your life; and your future. It keeps you trapped to what once was. I remember feeling resentful about the fact that I was the victim and he moved on with someone else and had a beautiful family; after he destroyed ours. And here I was- alone. It took me years to realize that my unforgiveness was was trapping me. It stunted my growth and the the walls of my life kept me dying in silence instead of being free in forgiveness. Once I made the choice to forgive everything in my life changed. Peace was restored. Joy overcame me. My life changed in abundance! And dear reader; I am no different than you. Forgiveness and your freedom is waiting. Don’t let the mistakes of others keep you in bondage. Model Liberty Ross experienced forgiveness after her husband Rupert Sanders had an affair with Twilight actress Kristen Stewart. She said, ‘“People need to learn to forgive.” she explained. “I have no problem with anyone involved. I’m completely compassionate. I really am. No life is perfect, we all have our problems and issues and I believe that it’s good to be true to who you are.”
3) Forgiving a cheating spouse is about living toward your future. You have a future waiting for you. You have a life with wonderful experiences that are waiting. There are people that need you. There are lives for you to bless and be blessed by. If you are reading this now; you are alive. If you are alive you have something to look forward to. When you make the choice to forgive a cheating spouse your future will open. Your heart can move toward freedom and peace in new ways. Your future can open more opportunities for receive and give love; to grow with others; and to let your forgiveness light shine.
For many experiencing forgiveness toward a cheating spouse it takes time without a doubt. Like anything in life; it’s a process. It’s about healing, restoration; and freedom. It’s about a heart issue and recognizing that while people aren’t perfect there is hope and a future for us all. It is about taking one step at a time toward what is waiting for you and that is your future. And my dear friend you are worth it.
The past is the one thing we all have in common; we have one. Yours is different than mine is different than my neighbors. Regardless of where you are; forgiving the shame that comes with it will set you free. There is no doubt as I am right here right now with this message. Freedom from the shame of your past is for you. You see; the past can and does destroy your future if you are not careful. Shame breeds itself in ways most don’t recognize. Forgiveness changes that; and it changes lives. To get free; forgive. Forgive the shame. Forgive the past. Simply forgive.
Forgiveness heals. Pain hurts and when not dealt with it continues to hurt. Life is painful and whether you are feeling shame from having an affair, an abortion; or even murdering someone going through the process of forgiveness will change your life. Oh you didn’t make those mistakes? Ok; forgive yourself for lyining to your parents, cheating in college, stealing from your employer; or kicking that little dog. Living in shame only breeds condemnation, self-loathing, embarrassment; and all the other cousins that truly do make life and the future unbearable. Forgiveness heals your heart allowing you to move forward toward self- acceptance. Forgive yourself today. Do it now.
Forgiveness changes your perspective. We all make mistakes; some larger than others. What’s ironic about this is that we think we are the deciders on the sin scale. Are you aware that Jesus died on the cross for you and that a sin is a sin is a sin? There is no measure of yours is bigger so you deserve less like many people believe. Even Jeffrey Dahmer was forgiven! Through one act of forgiveness not only is there healing but a perspective change. I learned years ago when I forgave my biological mother for abandoning me that there was another side to the story. Duh! My perspective about the situation and what truly happened changed. My perspective toward her changed. The shame I carried for so long about being a throw-away changed. I was no longer this person who was just dumped and not worthy; I became a person of purpose. I became a forgiver! Forgiveness reveals much more than you can possibly see when there is shame from your past living inside you.
Forgiveness frees. I wanted freedom for so much of my life but didn’t know what it looked like! It doesn’t come in the form of big houses and dollar signs! It doesn’t come in the form of luxury cars and love for a night. It can’t. Those things in some ways only breed more shame when they are not kept up because they were sought after for the wrong reasons. Forgiveness frees people from all the pain, shame; strife that is in life. We all have a past. We all have done things that we may not want to admit, accept or see; and the best news is that through forgiveness you can be free. Free indeed! He died to set the captives free and when I really grasped what that meant I was no longer a slave to the shame of what I had become. No longer was I bound by my wretched ways. No longer was I a prisoner in my own self. I was free through forgiveness. And you can be too.
If you are living in the past that bondage will keep you there. It will keep you being the victim instead of the victor. It will keep you being pathetic instead of powerful. It will keep you in religion and not relationship. It will keep you under instead of uplifted. It will serve nothing good in your life because it can’t. There is too much in your future to allow your past and the shame of it to be the center stage. If you are not experiencing true victory in your life then it’s time to forgive. If you spend more time thinking about the mistakes you made it’s time to forgive. Forgive yourself for what you have done. Forgive yourself what you have become. Forgive yourself for thinking you are less than what He says you are. it took me a long time to grasp that lesson dear reader; but now that I get it I am free. I am free to forgive and go live. It’s waiting for you too.
It’s not surprising in our self absorbed society to hear when a famous couple gets divorced. It happens daily and probably will continue as people continue to live more for themselves and their own likings. It’s just part of life. It is not possible to be in a healthy relationship and unforgiving at the same time. Perhaps we all could use a refresher of how to get over ourselves; and some more than others but I digress.
And so it goes; unforgiveness and divorce are linked. Unforgiveness does more harm to our lives than we realize and rightfully so as who truly wants to take the responsibility of looking in the mirror to recognize faults that are doing harm to self and others? I know I sure didn’t! Once I did though; my life and everything about it changed. If you are married and want to stay that way perhaps you should take a personal inventory so that you don’t lose the one relationship that you vowed would last until death do you part. In my post: https://julieblair.com/unforgiveness-causes-divorce/ I shared three ways that unforgiveness causes divorce and while you may think that is it; nope. Just wait! There’s more. Isn’t there always? On a topic as important as this we need to get it. The additional ways unforgiveness causes divorce are that it:
1. Depletes Intimacy– When couples are not enjoying each other’s company; the communication changes. Because you can’t not communicate you are still sending messages although not the ones of love and passion. When husbands withdraw from their wives it is as painful for the wives as it is when wives withhold sex from men. The level of rejection both feel through that separation leads to much change within each person, their marriage and into the rest of the family. Everything within a marriage starts in the bedroom and if the bedroom is as stiff as many boardrooms it’s evident what isn’t occurring. Forgiveness will restore that intimacy.
2. Builds Bitterness- Bitterness is spiritual poison. It rots the bones. It destroys the heart. Those at Harvard know this; even though it’s in the Bible in the Book of Ephesians. The Harvard findings in a 2005 reveal found that forgiveness reduces stress on the heart. Bitterness is a symptom of unforgiveness and the longer a spouse is bitter the more poison there will be in that marriage and as a result; the entire family. Bitterness and marital bliss cannot cohabitate. It’s better to not allow bitterness to rot your bones and wreck your life!
3. Keeps you self- focused. Unforgiveness in a marriage will keep the unforgiving party focused on self. It is not possible to be loving, forgiving and self-focused at the same time. When people are unforgiving it shows. It is reflected in their behavior, what they talk about, how they talk; and every other thing in the unforgivers life that revolves around self. To it’s end; a self-focused spouse will in the end leave the other with feelings of abandonment, rejection; and in the arms of another. People are not perfect and unforgiveness will blind you to this. If you are more focused on what you want for your own personal gain in your marriage; ask yourself if there is something your spouse did that you have yet to forgive. You probably already know the answer.
The bottom line is that unforgiveness kills. It destroys. It comes like the thief in the night; when you least expect it. It infiltrates lives and marriages to the destruction of them and if you are not quick to forgive you may be its next victim. Don’t be a statistic. Forgive. Your spouse will thank you. You will thank me. And we all will live happily ever after.
It’s no secret that divorce is rampant. It’s rampant everywhere; not just in Hollywood. The divorce statistics of those in the Church are just as high so apparently the lesson of forgiveness needs to reach us all! Perhaps marriage vows should read something more like, ‘Till I want to part because it’s Tuesday’ and not ‘ till death due us part’ because people really just don’t get it. It would make sense really since in today’s society it’s more about having million dollar weddings and marriages that last oh; a couple of months. And that’s a big maybe. So what’s the issue causing such divorce at record pace?
Unforgiveness. Yep. Sure you may be thinking, “Well, I have grounds. He’s not the man I married.” Or you may thinking, ‘She’s changed.’ And so? If she or he didn’t change you would be mad about that too so what really is the point? This is where we have it all wrong! Our society has deemed marriage disposable and worthless and the people in it are just as pathetic by the day of divorce decree. Are we just that selfish and narcissistic to not stop and see it? Anyone anywhere can come up with a justified reason for anything; but it doesn’t mean it’s good or even right; or even the best one and may see after the fact that the grass is greener on the other side but they still have to mow it.
See; the infidelity, withholding sex, silent treatment, drinking, not spending time together, growing apart, waiting for the children to go to college, job loss, income issues; and all the other things related to the reasons ‘why’ are just symptoms. Every single thing that is the cause of divorce is symptom related. The real issue is beneath all of those symptoms and most couples never recognize it. Why? Because they are too busy blaming and trying to be right rather than forgiving. If only couples would learn the lesson of forgiveness NOW so that these problems don’t become the cause of divorce we may have more marriages that actually do last a lifetime. So how does unforgiveness cause divorce?
1. Unforgiveness keeps you focused on the symptoms. When you are focused on the symptoms you aren’t able to see the problem. Why are you not having sex with your spouse? Why are you not spending time together? ‘Not having time’ is an excuse not the reason. People make time for what is important. If you are not then ask yourself when it’s divorce time who’s fault is it really? What am I doing or not doing that has my marriage where it’s at?
2. Unforgiveness is a victim mentality. We are all victims of things other people to do us at some point in life. None of us are perfect; none are immune. If you are living your life as the victim of what your spouse did to you it’s clear sign you have not forgiven. Period. If you want to get a clear picture stop and reflect on all the things that you have done that probably hurt your spouse in some capacity. Stop blaming your spouse when you are in the same marriage! Start forgiving.
3. Unforgiveness keeps you focused on the past. Unforgiving people live in the past. It’s all about what happened ‘way back when’ which really has nothing to do with ‘now but never mind actually bringing that up with them because it’s a moot point. That person will have plenty to speak about about how you missed the birthday party five years as a former neighbor of mine would remind her boyfriend every Friday night at the midnight living room fight. Clearly; a sign that they were not able to move on because she just could not let it go. It was five years ago! If you are hoarding the mistakes of your spouse from even yesterday it’s time to forgive. And quickly otherwise the resentment, bitterness and all the other symptoms will be evident to the extent of the death of your marriage.
If you want true freedom in your marriage; forgive. You don’t want to let the mistakes your spouse made destroy what you have invested your life to build. Don’t be like those in Hollywood who learn of their husband’s former flings and then harbor it for selfish reasons. It’s not worth it. It’s not to say that forgiving someone is easy because we all know it’s not and this is not a prosperity message. This is message written to save your life, your marriage, your family and your future. Take it serious while you still can. In case your forgot: forgive.
When people come together for any reason; things happen. People make mistakes and people get hurt. It’s the nature of people in all our intelligence and glory. Forgiving others in a community will always prove to be a challenge; and one that some may not take to.
The mistakes that people make can and do destroy communities. There is no way around it and for some; the devastation is never overcome. The pain of lives torn apart, the hearts left grieving; and the unforgiveness that settles in all reaps what it sows. It is something that only those who have experienced it can truly understand. It paints a picture of pure destruction in the most concrete of ways. It begs the question: what does a community do to overcome the mistakes others make to forgive? It’s simple although not easy. Forgive. The lessons are these:
1. Forgiveness is about individual healing. Forgiving others has nothing to do with what the other person did. It just doesn’t. While it may appear so because the wounds others cause are so deep we must remember that individual peace is worth more than harboring unforgiveness toward someone who chooses to live in hurting others. It is about each person making the choice to forgive for self freedom. Period. Of course it does not admonish what the person did that caused the pain in the first place; however, that person is the one responsible for the outcomes of his or her actions just as each one of us are. What do you want to be responsible for?
2. Forgiveness restores communities. When you make the choice to forgive life changes. When a community of individuals come together in forgiveness hearts are healed and what occurred in the past while remembered; isn’t filled with the focus of what occurred and the pain that was associated with it. What it is filled with is hope. Hope for a future. Hope for what should be. Hope for what is to come. Know that it does take time; however, the steps toward restoration begins with forgiveness.
3. Forgiveness paves the way to the future. In order for anyone to progress forward toward a fruitful life forgiveness is the roadway toward it. It removes the stumbling blocks and all things hindering what is to come. There is never a reason to allow people and their mistakes to be a roadblock to your future; or the future of the community you are part of.
People come together for a variety of reasons in life. It may be church, dancing, football; or even board games. People that come together are not perfect and while the mistakes they may make be illegal, harmful to children; and even harmful to themselves what they do should not be allowed to control what others do as a result. None of us are any different. We make mistakes, we hurt people; and we all have at some point needed forgiveness and have been asked to forgive. I encourage you to take the challenge and forgive. Then move on to the future that is what you were on your way to in the first place.
It’s hard to know what goes through the mind of someone who committed suicide as each person and situation is different; along with the outcome. It changes the lives of the living in ways that one can’t truly explain. It just happens and for most; unexpected. Should there be forgiveness? And to whom? Forgiveness in suicide is something that proves challenging to overcome for the living. Through forgiveness; however, life will get better. While no longer the same; it does continue.
In the situation of Robin Williams; forgiveness is no different. No one truly knows what he was experiencing, how he felt; where he was or why he did what he did. There is only mere speculation. Nothing more. For those who too have been there forgiveness is needed in order to heal. What aspects of forgiveness are needed you ask?
Forgive the person for taking his or her life. What the person did, for whatever reason, still proves selfish on many levels. You are left with nothing. No answers, no understanding; and in some cases no warning, financial security, no mother or father for the children. Nope. You are left with nothing. Unforgiveness toward that person left not dealt with will breed future consequences. Of course it will take time to recover, heal, and begin the process of living again although it is doable.
Forgive yourself for not intervening. Of course there are the ‘if only’s’ that come to mind coupled with the ‘what if’s’ and in reality; there is nothing that you could have done because most likely if you could have – you would have. Those who have suffered great loss at the hands of suicide know this. You know that if there was something you could have done that you would have; all because you love that person. You know that you would have without a doubt put your life on hold for the benefit of that loved one. And after that fact doesn’t change anything. Not forgiving yourself for what you could have done that you didn’t do that you didn’t know needed done won’t bring someone back. It never will. Understanding and recognizing that regardless of what other people do; forgiving yourself is something you can’t not do. Harboring unforgiveness toward yourself will not free you. It will create more bondage and will keep you living in what someone else did that in reality; has nothing to do with you. Forgive and heal.
Suicide is tragic. There are no words to describe the level of emotions that one experiences as a result. There is no way to predict what people will do; or won’t do at any given time. The only thing that you can do is make the choice that regardless of what other people do; you will forgive. It is the best way to live and the biggest gift of life that you can give not only to others but to yourself.
Forgiveness is a lifestyle. Forgiving God in the realm of spiritual abuse is also part of that lifestyle. It’s a tricky thing for many to comprehend because it’s hard to decipher religion from the abuser, from God. Not only this; most struggle with why God would allow them to be abused in the first place. Perhaps you know from experience.
Many people leave the Church and for good reason. It’s based upon man-made ideas, rules, regulations and quite frankly bondage. Spiritual abuse creates another level of bondage that does more damage to people than most recognize until they recognize it. The one step to freedom is forgiveness. Forgiving the abuser is one thing. Forgiving yourself for getting yourself in that situation in the first place is another. And finally; forgiving God for letting you be on that path and stay on that path is something different altogether.
Regardless of the length of time you were abused; forgiveness is your key to freedom. Forgiving God for allowing it to happen is really vital to your future because:
1. God gave you free will. You have to know that you made the choice to be in that situation. God didn’t put you there for you to be miserable and abused. You chose 1) to enter the situation, 3) to stay in it, 3) and then to leave. Blaming God for what you chose is not going to free you. This is an extremely tough thing to grasp and understand; however, when you get to this point of revelation that yes you were part of it your life will change. It doesn’t change what you have lost although it will help you to go forward toward the wonderful life that He does have waiting just for you.
2. God will never leave you or forsake you. Regardless of the choices that any of us makes; He loves us more than He hates the mistakes we make. He is with you regardless of what you have done. He really is the constant and most consistent of anyone you will ever meet. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and His intent is to bring you and hope a future and through the times we make choices that get us off track; He will be there to help you walk step by step. Just allow Him to reveal Himself to you.
3. God doesn’t want you to be in pain. God loves you. He is like the daddy that just wants the best for you. Do you think your father would want nothing more from you than just to live in pain being spiritually abused by someone with an agenda that may or may line up with God’s Word? Of course not! He loves you and the more time you spend being unforgiving is less time than you are seeing just how loving He truly is.
It isn’t easy going through spiritual abuse. The pain of those trusted and who far off they are isn’t easy to accept. The reality of time lost, personal changes; and the depths of what is stole isn’t easy. The great news is that there is a Father who loves you who is with you. There is one who while didn’t stop you; let you learn those lessons. There is One who will be there to walk with you through the outcome and to show you true victory in your future. Through this; forgive Him for what you have been deceived to thinking to date because He was only there with you while you made the choice. Through your forgiveness in the end; you will not only see that but also see the wonderful future He created for you to live.