Religion makes people funny. Just think about that. How many conversations get heated over the topic of religion? How many lives are lost because of religion? How many countries in war are lost because of religion? We can see it no more clear today than in previous generations and yet here we are. Forgiveness one day shall reign where brothers and sisters may be able to disagree and still walk together; maybe? Perhaps in a utopia world where Sharia law exists right? And so it goes people want what they want yet still live lives of unforgiveness and wonder why nothing changes. Unforgiveness is an issue of the heart. Period. With a hardened heart no good fruit grows.
In North Carolina, USA students homework assignment answers share that Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world and that Muslims are more faithful than Christians. Do you believe that? You can read about that here: http://dailysignal.com/2014/11/13/mom-questions-school-portraying-muslims-faithful-christians/) And Islam is a religion of peace and Christianity is not; or should it be switched around? It depends on who you ask and then of course will you ever get the right answer because everyone has their own perception of what is right or wrong and therefore; one never really knows anything right?
Around the world there is devastation. The Jewish people suffer persecution. Those in Ukraine are suffering because of a religious war. People in India are suffering. Americans, Canadians, French; are suffering. Christians everywhere are suffering. Muslims are suffering; else why would they do what they do? But then again; why do wicked people anywhere do what they do? People’s hearts and souls are burning daily and yet; they acknowledge it not.
Until people recognize that religion doesn’t save nothing will change. No organization can save a person. It just can’t. The government of China won’t save people. The government of Russia won’t save people. The American government as an entity won’t save people. It is up to each individual person to look in the mirror and reflect inward. Until people see that it isn’t about any religion but rather a relationship with a Creator nothing will change. Until the heart of each person is softened nothing will change. Until forgiveness enters the lives of every person to see the true value and meaning and purpose of life; not one single thing will change. Until the minds of people are renewed; nothing will change. It can’t.
The good news is that you, dear reader, can be that change. It starts with you. It starts with me. What can you do today to begin the change in the world? Your silent acceptance is continuing the pattern. What voice do you have that you can use to change your life, your family, and your nation? What do you have in your heart that begin the change that is desperately needed? Is there forgiveness in there? If you have a heart I believe that there is; it’s just hidden. Uncover yourself, rid yourself of religion, get into a relationship with He who came to set the captives free and you will see the miracles, signs and wonders that will follow.
When talking about forgiveness most people simply think ‘just forgive’; just do it. But is it really that simple? Sure it’s simple to just say some words. People do it all the time. What isn’t so easy is getting the heart and mind in alignment; and then add in the spirit and soul and you can see the complication. The prerequisite for forgiveness then must take another route if the fullness of it is the end goal. So what it is?
What is this prerequisite for forgiveness? Is it conflict resolution? Some say ‘yes’. Is it just letting go? Others say ‘sure’. Some say it’s a choice and while that too is correct it’s incomplete. It starts before the choice is made. What does that even mean you ask?
You see; before you make a choice you have to make a choice to make the choice. Even being indecisive about something is still a choice. Forgiveness requires a choice. Where does that choice start? In the mind! You have to make the decision first that you are going to forgive. This is why just saying a few words means nothing as people daily talk about things they don’t even pay any attention to. If the truly did then would it be even something they would talk about? Probably not.
So in this case; if you want to get to a place of peace through forgiveness you first have to make the choice to get your mind in place to forgive. It took me many years to get there. I was filled with lip service like most. I didn’t know much about forgiveness, what it truly meant, the symptoms or the healing power of it. I know how to just say it-which again didn’t prove much because all the symptoms were still there.
If you want freedom through forgiveness get your mind in order. Don’t live by deceit and default; allowing your mind to play you because trust me; it will. Make today the day that you wrap your mind around the choice to forgive. Then let your heart, spirit and soul feel the outcome of it. Let your life journey never be the same. Let the essence of who you truly are shine. It’s only until then that you will experience life to the full.
In our ever self-focused society it should be no wonder why people are body image obsessed. It’s hard to go anywhere and not see a beautiful body on a billboard that has photoshop written all over it. What’s concerning isn’t necessarily that the advertisers need to go to such extremes; but that people react and respond to what they think they are seeing. And not in a good way.
Every person was created unique; and through that it is the responsibility of each person to maintain how exactly it is that he or she wants to look. It’s really that simple. When we take a back seat to being self aware of what we do look like; the results are evident it’s just whether or not we see them. Do you see your beautiful self? Do you really?
Getting sidetracked by what others look like or what society wants you to believe they look like is a trap. The only thing that matters is your health and keeping a sound mind. The more focused you are on such campaigns by Victoria’s Secret campaign about the ‘perfect body’ the more you are missing it. How so? You are not seeing the beauty of you! You are allowing a company to sell you an idea of something that most likely you wouldn’t even want if you had it! What companies are doing should have no relevance to how you perceive yourself. You are not owned by these companies. They exist merely because of the power of you- do you see this?. The perfect body is the one you have so work with it and make it as precious as your heart, mind, body and soul. Who says the flaws are flaws? Who told you that? And why did you believe them?
If you have fallen into the trap of not seeing yourself the way that the Lord does; forgive yourself. Your body is the outer layer of you. That’s it. The inner you is the most precious. Don’t let it be disturbed by what others are telling you. You are worth far more than that. Forgive yourself for not being where you want to be and don’t look back. Don’t look at the failings, fat; and fear of what you have become with no clear path out. Get up, stand up, and rise up to the occasion to say that today is your day to start anew! Today is your day to see that you are worth more than you have allowed and accepted. Today is your day to forgive yourself for focusing negatively on something that you have the choice to change. Focus on the upside of change today and start by forgiving yourself and your body. You are worth it.
The Parable of the 10 Virgins leaves so much for discussion. 10 virgins in total and some that were wise while others were not. On this day I ask you: which virgin are you? Are the one who thought ahead to what may come; or are you the one left at the shut front door? There are many lessons to be learned about thinking and being aware and when it comes to forgiveness; this reigns true once again.
You see; five of the virgins were wise. They planned ahead. They were prepared. They were aware. They had plenty of oil. On the other hand; the other five were foolish. Oh yes the begged those with oil to help them but for why? Why is it the job of anyone else to be accountable for you? I still wonder which of the foolish was the leader but yet in the end does it matter since they all were foolish? The leader of the foolish is still a fool. They proved unprepared, unaware; and unattending. Again I ask: which are you?
Forgiveness is for you. So is unforgiveness. It’s your choice. You can be wise and get through the door. Or; you can be foolish and be left standing without. The battle for forgiveness is just that; a battle. It is one that will cause you to be aware of you, of the situation; the consequences and the bigger impact that it will have on your life if you are not paying attention.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to see where you are, where you are going; and what you want to achieve. Then when you add to it that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy you will be better able to stand your guard and see that if you choose unforgiveness you ultimately choose death. You side with the enemy and will lose yourself to the battle that maybe you know is evident. That is if you are paying attention.
Don’t be deceived. You are in a battle. You just are. You have value, a purpose and if you let unforgiveness reign then you will end up on the wrong side of the door with the foolish virgins. And who has time for that?
Forgiveness is something abstract to many in the church and the unchurched alike. Some think it’s just something that happens over time while others think it’s just lip service; and yet still others just don’t think about it because well; why give it time or energy. There is much on the topic of forgiveness although it’s quite common to hear people say there isn’t much on the topic. They are correct for the level of time and energy they have put into wanting to learn about it and grow from it. So the question is where does forgiveness begin? The heart? The Mind? The neighbor? Where does forgiveness begin?
Forgiveness begins in the mind. There is no other place for it to start. Sure one may argue in the heart although if the heart and mind are not in alignment; then there is dissent within. And this is where most live. They live in internal struggle of what forgiveness is and where to begin to get internal freedom.
It’s really that simple. It starts in the mind. You have to make the choice. You have choose to to align your mind with what it is that you want to achieve. It is up to you. No one can do it for you. No one but you. It is up to you to decide where in life you want to go and the choice to forgive is no different.
You see; people believe the lie that time heals all wounds. No it doesn’t. It’s absurd to think that just because you are 10 years older you are just healed because a decade past. Time does not heal wounds. Dealing with them does. One only need to see how many angry people there are still fighting and angry that they didn’t inherit mother’s china when she died. That in and of itself should be proof that time doesn’t do anything but steal what could have been different.
So on this day; this day that is yours think about what you are choosing. Think carefully because every decision you make begins in your mind. Don’t waste a second, minute or hour not thinking. Make the choice in the moment to forgive.
There is a misconception about forgiveness. There always is. Many in the Church say there isn’t a lot on the topic; yet there is. Many think that forgiveness just means restoration and reconciliation; yet this too is a fallacy. Forgiveness yes restores one with the Father; however, there is much otherwise that it does not mean or do. So the question is: does forgiveness automatically mean restoration? Nope.
I used to believe it did. I used to think that once I forgave someone or someone forgave me that the relationship would be restored and all would be good. Makes sense right? That is until I came across Psalm 85. Then I saw what I believed for too long to be wrong. Check this out:
1You, Lord, showed favor to your land;
you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
2 You forgave the iniquity of your people
and covered all their sins.[b]
3 You set aside all your wrath
and turned from your fierce anger.
4 Restore us again, God our Savior,
and put away your displeasure toward us.
5 Will you be angry with us forever?
Will you prolong your anger through all generations?
6 Will you not revive us again,
that your people may rejoice in you?
7 Show us your unfailing love, Lord,
and grant us your salvation.
If you look closely in verse 1 it is clear that the fortunes of Jacob were restored. Got it. But keep reading. Stop at verse 4. Notice it was an ask for restoration. It is not automatic. It simply is not. You need to look no further although you really do.
See; when you forgive someone with an expectation of anything you are setting yourself up for something that perhaps you will not receive. Restoration is not automatic. I once was there thinking that forgiveness meant restoration and it was rather painful to be on the end of not receiving it. It was like purchasing a plane ticket and then learning that the ability to sit in the seat was a separate price.
If your relationships are not where you are expecting them to be through the process of forgiveness; it could be that you have not yet reached the level of restoration with the situation, the people; and the pain involved. Forgiveness is a process and so is restoration. They may come together but not always. Don’t trap yourself into expectations of anything other than being committed to the entire process for further fulfillment in your life.
If you are alive you have probably been hurt; and if you are not are probably an hour old and not reading this. Forgiveness is the one thing in life that will free or trap you quicker than most realize. So how do you get freedom through forgiveness? What does it do for you?
Forgiveness is a choice. It is a conscious effort to choose to let the sins and mistakes of others not burden you. If you are a Christian it is a display of obedience to Him above all. It is an act of love not only to the person that hurt you, but to yourself and of course to Jesus Christ. It is saying that “I love You more than I hate the mistakes others have made that hurt me. Therefore I forgive.’
It is easy to make the choice to forgive? Nope. I would by lying if I said it was. Unforgiveness was something I struggled with for many years of my life. I harbored all of it. I was hurt from the abandonment from my biological mother, the abuse from my adoptive family and on it went. I didn’t know it though. Most don’t either. They live in the deception of the ‘Oh I forgave’ yet the exhibit ‘all’ of the 30 symptoms of unforgiveness! Yes there really are that many and I have taught on each of them. The choice is yours. Do you want freedom for your future? Or do you want to stay where you are?
It’s really that simple. Forgiveness free. Unforgiveness is unforgiving. It’s unrelenting. It comes in the night like the thief to kill, steal, and destroy. And it does. When you make the choice to forgive though guess what? You are no longer bound to any enemy on the prowl for your soul. No not you. You are free to live. You are free to move toward your future in unimaginable ways. And how do I know? I am living proof!
The ability to forgive is powerful. Forgiving other people for their wrongs is a great thing indeed. The ability to forgive oneself is quite another. It is an absolute victory to come to a place of being able to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. It is the ultimate demonstration of self acceptance. It’s one that is hardest for most to grasp. What is interesting though; is the additional outflow of beauty that comes with self-forgiveness. Did you know that your personal journey of self-forgiveness impacts the lives of others? Yep. What you do with your forgiveness toward you impacts other people. How so?
1- It frees you to love more people- When people harbor unforgiveness toward themselves they stay focused on themselves. When focused on yourself it’s hard to focus on others which means you aren’t as equipped as you could and should be to love them right where they are. In other words you are in your own way.
2- It frees you to love people in new ways. People are people and none are different. When you understand that about yourself that you are no better or different than others you are free. When you forgive yourself you are even more free because the bondage that kept you from being free also has kept you from being free to love people in a way different than you have known. Your entire future will change as will relationships with those who enter your life.
3- It increases compassion and empathy toward others. When people live in condemnation, guilt, shame, regret and all the other lies it changes them. It’s hard to minister to someone from a negative place. How can you honestly help someone out of a pit that you are deeper in? When the act of self-forgiveness takes place and the filth is removed the process of healing and restoration takes place. It’s then that through interaction with others that increases in compassion and empathy takes place. It’s then that those interactions with others have more value because you my dear friend; are free. Simply free.
If you have ever been in a situation where you had to forgive yourself and you did; you can probably see when others are struggling with it. You know all too well the symptoms and manifestation of them. You know how grieving it is to live the quiet life of cover up and hidden shame. It’s one thing to hide it and other to be free from it. When you are entirely free of the mistakes you have made and are able to just accept and love yourself others will take note. They will see that freedom and will be drawn to you. They will know that there is something different and special about you. And yes there is. Through forgiving yourself you are displaying love and strength and who doesn’t need to have that as a little medicine on a daily basis. So go today; forgive yourself and then be the witness to change in others that have been waiting for you. You wont’ regret it.
There is nothing in society that will give you value. It can’t. How can a society that doesn’t know its own value give you value? The great news is that you truly do not need the things of society to have value. It took me a long time to realize that; and once I did I was free!
If you find yourself trapped in a lifestyle that doesn’t truly reflect who you are change it. What are you scared of? The judgments of others who are too scared to do it? Scared of the unknown? Scared of failing? Scared of success? So what- do it anyway. You will never know until you do.
Years ago I listened to a man in Australia tell me that while he made tons of money at his job, had 3 months of vacation time per year; and lived so close to the beach all he ever wanted to do was be a gym teacher. Here was a man with a dream. He is no different than you are I. He was a man who wanted something that was not even close to what he had- and on the outside he had a lot! He shared with me that because of what he had gained in his career he then had to continue to maintain it and as a result he lost himself. He was trapped. He was miserable. He was like many people today. Maybe you can relate.
The wonderful news is that while you may be able to relate; you don’t have to live one more day aggressively trying to attain something that isn’t in your hearts deepest core. You don’t have to suffer the days of your life trying to maintain something that isn’t your passion; your calling or your destiny. You just don’t. You see; you were created for much more. You my dear friend were wonderfully made for something. You have value. You have more probably than you think.
So in a society that is as lost as the fall leaves blowing to and fro; the entrapment of life will take one. One day at a time until it’s slow slithering death rests inside of you. What does society have to offer you? Nothing. It can’t maintain or contain you but it most certainly will drain you. That is until you see the value inside of you. Until you see that you have the value that can only come from you. Society needs your value more than you need its value. When you see and receive that- your entire life will change. I know mine sure did. It was time for me to stand up on and for the value that I had. Isn’t it time for you to do the same?
The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. There is no doubt there is a bounty for your life. Every day there is an attack in new ways and if you are not watchful; you will be the next victim. Unforgiveness is the trap that steals your life without your knowledge; without you even having a clue that your life is slipping you by.
So the question is: is unforgiveness defeating you? Do you even know? Here are the tell-tale signs that unforgiveness has a foothold in your life:
1. You are living in a victim mentality. Everyone has been hurt; and you are not exception. If you are living in that mentality of what others have done this is a clear sign. You can choose to be a victim or victor but rest assured being powerful and pitiful at the same time cannot work! When you make the choice to forgive; your life will change.
2. Bitterness Reigns. Many people are deceived into thinking they are not bitter; when in fact everyone around them can see it, hear it, and feel it. Bitterness is spiritual poison and will rot the bones. Heck; even Harvard completed a study in 2009 with findings that unforgiveness and bitterness is linked to arthritis. If you have arthritis perhaps there is someone you need to forgive. When you harbor bitterness you are ineffective because people just don’t like being around bitter people. If you don’t want to live defeated; simply forgive.
3. Missed Opportunities or blessings. When people harbor unforgiveness their lives are defeated and those they could and should be a blessing to miss out. If you are not living your life with all the opportunities and blessings that are there for you there is a reason. It isn’t just ‘luck’ or ‘misfortune’ as it just isn’t. There is a reason. In my life I wasn’t ministering to all the people that I was supposed to be for that exact reason. I was blocking myself from receiving blessings and being a blessing to others. Once I learned the impact of unforgiveness everything changed.
Very simply put; unforgiveness kills. It steals much more than you can imagine and with over 30 symptoms of unforgiveness you may find that this is why you are not living to your full potential. If you think you have ‘no’ unforgiveness pray about that. I was there too and it wasn’t until I learned the truth that I was set free. I thought just saying I forgive was all I needed to do until I learned that it’s not lip service; but more. And don’t you want more of everything good in your life? Of course! So make today the day that nothing more is stolen from your life. You will be glad you did.