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The Power in Forgiving
Some people believe that forgiveness is sold in cycles during the holidays; however, there is nothing further from the truth than that. Unforgiveness kills and if you want to die between the holidays then hold on to it. If you want to be free any day of the year; forgive and make it a habit. You will be forever glad you did.
In watching the Real Housewives franchise there is yes much drama; but some lessons we can learn if we pay attention. Last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County yet again provides us much for discussion.
I already wrote about Tamra Barney and how not hearing the words, ‘I love you’ impacted her life so for today I want to focus on forgiveness. In listening to her speech and seeing her and her mother interact the pain of their lives is evident. The unforgiveness of what occurred is something still keeping them from growing together. Not only this; the unforgiveness that each of them hold toward themselves too is there as well. You see; forgiveness softens the heart while unforgiveness steals your joy and keeps you living as a victim and not victor. It destroys and it’s a slow death. In your life how much pain from the past are you holding on to? How free would you like to be?
In the situation between Heather and Terry we see much the same. Here is a husband groveling for forgiveness while Heather lets him continuously do so all the while at one point makes the comment to him that he needs to let it go; yet here she is still holding on to her own unforgiveness toward him. How many times does someone have to apologize before you truly let it go? Wasn’t it Peter who asked Jesus how many times do we need to forgive and it was well beyond the ‘7’ times he thought!
In both situations unforgiveness is something holding them back. How much of your unforgiveness is holding you back? Isn’t it time to let it go?
It will change your life when you make the choice to do so. From personal experience; I forgave my biological mother for the decisions she made that impact my life and guess what? My life changed! Not only this; my eye color and my voice changed too . We now have a great relationship that never could have been so long as I harbored that unforgiveness.
You see; unforgiveness doesn’t play alone. Don’t be fooled. Unforgiveness brings the entire family with it. Resentment, bitterness, anger, fear of abandonment, rejection, ego, overly opinionated, vanity; victim mentality and many many more relatives to anyone unsuspecting of its wicked ways. It brings a slow death.
I encourage you today to be brave. I encourage you to look deep in the mirror and get beyond yourself and truly forgive those who have hurt you. Will it hurt? Probably; but it will hurt you more in the long run if you don’t. Does it matter what the other person or people did that hurt you? No more or less than what you have done to others. It has nothing to do with them anyway. Forgiving is about you and your life; and internal freedom. It’s time now to let it go and become the you that you were created to be. Don’t let another minute of your life be taken. Trust me; I lost more than 2 decades. It simply is not worth it. Give the best give to yourself today and forgive.
Do you know you are loved? There has never been a moment in your life when you have not been loved. I hope that you realize this; wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Never a moment in your life. Reflect on that and let it sink in.
3 simple words that carry such meaning and change lives. They have impact far reaching that we can ever predict. In tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County Tamra Barney shared much that provided insight to her behavior and while there is much for exploration; my only purpose tonight is one. Love.
What saddened me in hearing her story was the pain of her life of course; but more-so the reality of how hearing something like ‘I love you’ can change a life. Equally; not hearing too can change a life.
Tamra didn’t hear her father tell her that he loved her until she was 21. How about you? When was the last time that you heard someone tell you that he or she loves you? If you are a parent; how often do you tell your children? Better yet; how often do you tell your husband or wife? Don’t let it be the one thing you never say that you wish you could. Life is too short to let that go without saying.
So for you, reader; regardless of your status, situation, color, gender, sexual orientation or anything else know that I love you. You are valuable. You are precious. You are important. You matter.
Now go share the great news with those in your life!
In a conversation with a client of mine I could hear something different in his tone. While I couldn’t see him since we were not face to face I knew there was something different about him. I was right. I asked him how he was and he replied, ‘I am very good’. I asked him what was making him ‘very good’ on that day and he said, ‘I’m very good because I am giving.’
It got me thinking about a few things. Is there an area of my life where I could give more? I wondered if he knew he would feel as good as he did before he gave or if he just felt that good because he gave. Knowing the type of person he is I don’t think he purpose of giving was just so he could feel good as there are plenty of other things to feel good than to give. Not only this; giving just to feel good isn’t really giving at all.
Regardless; it is enjoyable to be around someone who has a heart of giving and feels good about it. I could hear that he felt good about what it was that he gave. While I don’t know what it was that he gave it doesn’t even matter. It’s his heart that matters and that is one of giving. I don’t even think that he would recognize that as that is just who he is. Do you have people in your life that are like that? If not then why not become that person for other? What a way to give right?
This leads me to be challenged to give and to do it more often while also challenging you to do the same. So- what can you give today? What can you give to be the world change that the world needs?