It’s a Heart Issue
We have a problem in America. Yes we already know the economy is terrible and that the media loves to twist the truth. We know that the IRS attacks on conservatives and Tea Party are a real thing; and we know that the divorce rate is on the increase. This is all true. Sad; but true. The real issue is much deeper than that. It’s what is beneath that is the real issue.
The heart of people is the true crisis here. Sure hurt people hurt people but what’s more concerning is that it’s not a concern. People lie and thinking nothing of it. Not only this; they have no problems doing it right to your face! This begs the question: how did we get here? How did we come to a place where being liars and cheaters is just part of life, business and marriage? Have we no shame? Have we no respect for anyone or even ourselves? Apparently not!
If you step back and look at the times we are in the signs are there. More than ever before people are becoming more in love with themselves, boastful, cheaters; liars and greedy. What’s it for? More self gain at the cost of others? One is a lonely number my friend.
While it may be the norm in the ways of the world doesn’t mean anything more than this. It doesn’t mean that you have to behave in such a manner. What other people choose to do should have no impact on you yet for some this has changed. It’s more of the ‘steal, lie and cheat you before you can do it to me’ mentality and it’s just wrong.
If you think nothing of the people of whom you commit to, do business with; or want to date or marry because you are more interested in yourself then should it be any wonder if it doesn’t go the way you want? If you live a life of no integrity because you are too busy promoting yourself than respecting others perhaps your heart needs an enema.
Just a week ago someone lied straight to my face and it I knew from the moment the words were spoken that everything was a lie. I almost interrupted to save the person from lying to me but thought otherwise. Today; my thoughts were confirmed. While yes it’s not cool I was lied to; the more important issue is the character of this person. It’s all there and revealed and I see it clearly. No longer will there be any business, relationship, engagement of conversation; or any desire for any interaction. It’s done. There is nothing left to say.
The ironic thing about the entire situation is how many people may just think, ‘let it go, no harm no foul’ and that thought process just leads to an acceptance that that is the normal behavior of people. And that- is the largest issue of all.
Until we get real with ourselves and deal with the real heart issues things won’t get better. Until we recognize that our behaviors are a reflection of our hearts we won’t get it. Until we stop to think of the impact of legacy our actions have we won’t get it. Until we stop to pay attention to what and who we have become as individuals and as a society we are headed for trouble. It’s all being evidenced in daily interactions everywhere. Don’t believe me then check out Ashley Madison who helps married people have affairs, check out the latest reports about Benghazi or the latest about A-Rod and his wrecked baseball career. It’s all issues of the heart to cheat, lie and steal. It’s the issues of the heart so I ask: where is your heart?
Dating is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be exciting. It should be filled with great exploration of another person. That is what it ‘should’ be.
The rules have changed. In fact; there are none. It’s quite dangerous for women if they are not careful. There are those so called progressive woman who advocate having sex on the first date; never mind the health risk to women physically and spiritually. There are those that believe the best way to get a man is to be a witch with a ‘B’. Then there are those who just say do anything for a man because if you don’t you will end up old and lonely. Terrible that that is what is put out there for the so called benefit of women.
This is a call to women to stand up! Stand up for women and the essence of who we are! It doesn’t matter if you live in Dallas, Detroit or Denver; so long as women are divided on all the dating issues it will only leave us in danger and men more confused than ever. How does it put women in danger? It’s quite simple. Below are several ways that women put themselves in danger in dating relationships:
1- Sex by the 3rd date. That is dangerous because well; the obvious you are giving your soul to someone you don’t even know. The additional thing is that when you do this and the relationship is dead by date 4; it sets a standard for men that that is what is expected in the next relationship. Every behavior in dating that a woman exhibits sets the standard for men so should it be any wonder why so many men are just flat out mental disasters?
2- Text boundaries. If you allow him to text you ‘late night’ then what does that mean? He can do it and guess what- he will. Sure you may think it’s so nice that he is thinking of you at that time- but in reality he is thinking of himself. If he were really thinking of you at 2am he would probably show you and he some self-respect and wait until the morning recognizing that you probably are sleeping. He wouldn’t want to disturb you because he respects you. Now of course if you are already in an exclusive relationship and you have different boundaries this is entirely different. This point is for those who are newly dating someone.
3- If he expects you to drive to him on the 1st or 2nd time you meet that’s a huge red sign. First of all- the question is why on earth would you do it? Don’t you deserve a man to get in his car and meet you at least half way? You are putting yourself in harm’s way by driving to the home of a stranger! Sure he may be what you perceive to be a nice guy but so was Scott Peterson and the Craig’s List Killer. While you may carry a firearm that doesn’t mean anything and if you end up using it then you just put yourself in a more precarious situation.
4- If he gets mad that you won’t drive to see him run! Run fast! If a man just enters your life and has such an expectation that he can call you and you drop everything to go see him he is crazy and you are just dumb if you do it. If he is mad about that it shows his character and you are too good of a woman to have to chase a man who shows such utter disrespect toward you. That is a clue and you don’t even have to leave home to get it. Ask yourself if you were talking to your sister or best friend would you ever in a million years agree with her driving to the home of some man she just met all alone? Probably not!
5- If he interrupts you consistently. When meeting someone that you are starting to date the signs are everywhere. You have to be on guard and remove the emotional excitement to look at the reality. If you are in conversation and are unable to complete a sentence because he can’t let you- then it’s time to hang up. How could you ever communicate about larger issues in the relationship if you can’t even have a get-to-know-you conversation? The control factor enters scene left.
6- The touch factor. If you meet him for the first time and 10 minutes into it he is trying to hold your hand and put his arm around you; or touch your leg- open your eyes to this. Now sure this may vary based upon the length of time you have been in conversation with him but let’s say you have had one or two conversations and have exchanged a few texts. The emotional connection of someone you don’t know gets in the way; but you have to ask how real it is. Just because you had a few great conversations doesn’t mean you know someone. You only know someone when you spend time with that person. If you feel uncomfortable then say so. If he doesn’t get it- then there is your answer.
7- If he raises your voice at you then run. Sure some women will disregard it as ‘passion’ but really ladies let’s take it for what it is. Is that what you are really going to try to sell yourself to believe? A man should never raise his voice at you and if he does in the beginning what will he do beyond that?
8- If he calls you any name that is not nice then run. The fact that he believes it would be ok to call a woman any name tells it all. If you stay and put up with it reveals even more about you. You are better than someone you don’t even know calling you something that is not uplifting.
9- If he dates married women and tells you- it should be obvious but I must say. Sure the woman may be in the middle of a divorce but guess what? She still is married. Now some of you may argue this as divorces take a long time but here is the thing. That man is telling you that he is dating someone else in addition to you. No wonder why you are only getting a walk around a park and not a ‘proper date’ right? Open your eyes ladies! It’s not to say dinner and opera every date but it is to say that if you are a number in the mix. Are you better than a number? Of course you are! Now you may say it’s a good thing he told you he was dating other women and sure; but then the question to ‘why’ he would tell you in the very beginning along with the type of women he goes out with. Again; just run as character is revealed. You may be one who is dating other men which is fine; but do you share that one the first date when it’s about getting to know the man you are with at that moment? Or do you have little more prudence than that?
10- If he tells you, ‘It makes me feel good to touch you’ on the first time you meet-run. Just please run. It’s creepy that someone you don’t know would tell you that and you need to be asking if he is just hard up and is just using you to get his jollies. When you don’t know him and he tells you this he is obviously thinking more about how he feels than how utterly uncomfortable you may feel. It’s a sign ladies. Is he desiring to touch you for you because you are the women he desires as the person you are or what he can get from you? These are two separate things and you need to get that! Be watchful of those who just like to say ‘I’m affectionate. Touch is my love language.’ Sure. Boundaries for just meeting you is mine. How do you like me now? A real man will like and respect you more and not just say he can’t date you because you won’t hold his hand after 10 minutes of meeting.
11- If he tells you he is tired of dating bimbos. Well; what man wouldn’t be? The fact that that he dates them is one thing; and the fact he told you is another. So what does that mean for you? Is it a sales pitch that you are the ‘nice’ one? Sure you may get all excited that he now thinks you are better than the bimbos which of course you are; but if he doesn’t treat you like it then he needs to take a class! If all he gets are bimbos; that is a clue he is not ready for the good woman that you are. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve it but you have to be a nice guy to get the nice girl. Bimbos are treated different than nice women and we all know that.
12- If he thinks you are rigid because you don’t play his game so what? The real man out there for you will see it as self respect. It won’t even come up. Any man that gets ticked is just mad because you are not the bimbo he is used to. Not only this he is not used to being told no. Run from this man as he would only use the passive aggressive behavior to try to 1) make you feel guilty about not being easy or playing his game, 2) doubt yourself, 3) get you to give in. It’s a trap ladies. Stand up for what you believe and if some guy you don’t know thinks you are rigid so what? You are who you are and you have no need to apologize for it! You have nothing to prove to some man who wouldn’t even be able to grasp your value in the first place. If he tells you that you think you are better then he is that it is not your problem. You are not responsible for how anyone feels. No one can ‘make’ you feel a certain way. How you feel is your choice. You are a good woman and you don’t need to lower your standards to make some man you don’t know feel better about himself. It’s not worth the loss of your self-worth.
13- If he tells you there are other women who want him and who are ready to come over to his house when you don’t do what he wants- then run. It’s a ploy to tell you this because you shattered his ego. The other thing to realize is the fact that he would stoop so low to try to trap you into doing something you don’t want is a clear sign of manipulation. Do not be manipulated by a man who uses other women to try to get you. You do not deserve that and women if you are that woman being used- open your eyes.
14- If he tells you he has no problems getting women then run. Who brags about that? Men who get women don’t need to and the fact that you are a woman and he tells you that is a sign that what- you have to compete to be better than the others? Why on earth would you do that? A good man will see your value and chase you! He would never dream of using other women whether real or not to play mind games. Real men are good men. Any man that brags about getting women gets girls and not women. There is a difference and you females out there need to decide which you are!
We women need to stand united on this. So long as we are not standing up as women together it will only cause more problems for future women. Your behavior has impact and when you let men treat you less then how you should be and it doesn’t work out; then they think they can continue to pattern and well- then can. Until you are the one strong enough to stand up and say, “ I don’t have sex outside of marriage, I don’t drive to strange men’s houses, I am not a number; and I have integrity’ you will get less then what you should. There is nothing wrong with having standards and I know that isn’t a popular teaching these days but so what?
If you want a nice man for the rest of your life then be the nice woman. Respect yourself first and the men out there will too. Now please understand that this isn’t a bash men session as I love men. I love everything about them; minus foot funk but you get the idea. Women are just as guilty as men in the dating world and it only leaves single people heart -broken, confused; and untrusting. We as women can stop the cycle and in the end; not only help ourselves but also men too.
I challenge you today to look inward and make a list of what you deserve in your next relationship. Then make a list of things you have done and accepted to this point. Compare the two. While there may be stark differences forgive yourself for being dumb and stand up with a smile. We have all been there. If you are not getting what you are worth then it’s up to you to stop the madness in your life. Only you can make the change and my prayer for you dear beautiful is that today is the day that you will!
With so many people dating online and so many choices; people can’t afford to not pay attention to the details. Did you know that there are 40 million people who have tried online dating? Currently there are 20 million people using E-Harmony and 15 million using Match. Perhaps you are one such person. (http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics) If you are looking for love online; you need to be aware of the pitfalls and how to stand out otherwise; you will fall to the side and start believing the lies of rejection that may creep in.
The statistics further reveal that there are 52.4% of men online while 47.6% of women. This means more men and well; women have more options. You need to have it all together if you want the desired end result.
What’s fascinating about the profile and the pictures is that most don’t think about it. They just write a few things that everyone before them has written; and that probably didn’t work either. The other issue is that 53% report that they date more than one person at a time; which means you have no idea what competition you have. Now sure; you may say that people who meet in person do the same thing except with the online dating arena so large you are now competing with a worldwide net and not just the local net with a few. You have no idea what is going on on that computer when you are not around now do you?
Taking it to the next step what is sad is the lies that come with it. Men lie more about income, height, and their age. They may too lie about how much hair they have but I digress. Women on the other hand; lie too. They lie about their age, physical build and weight. I’m sure there is more as well so buyer beware.
A few tips to help you along with getting that picture perfect dating or mating partner for you for life are as follows:
1- Proper pictures get props. It’s known that men are visual; but gents understand this: Women are visual too. There is nothing more unattractive to most women than you taking a self portrait in the bathroom mirror with your boxers hanging on the bathroom door behind you. There is also not much attractive about you posing in all your shaved chest glory wearing nothing but sunglasses. If women wanted Magic Mike they would be elsewhere; if you get what I mean. By having a proper headshot taken you will not only show you are quite dapper; but that you are serious about finding love. Most photographers specialize in headshots and not only will it serve you in the dating profile but also for your business head shot as well so it’s worth the investment. If you are local to Dallas you can check out www.photographybymisty.com as she does wonderful work. It doesn’t make sense to spend money to find love and then look like you just rolled out of bed with a hangover now does it? Perhaps this is why you aren’t getting the responses that you should be. Ladies; if you don’t look like the cheearleader that you once were; it’s ok. There are plenty of men who will celebrate your curves and honesty about it. Own who you are today and know that you can change it and update that picture. Hiding it though by using old outdated pictures is the one way you will turn off any man as he won’t like the deception any more than you would. You can’t get angry or think he is a pig because he doesn’t want you after you sold yourself to be something you were in the 1980’s.
2- Think about what you are writing in your profile. If you are a Christian are you really going to accept dating and marrying an Athiest? if not then why would you put ‘any’ in the religious category? If you accept anything you will get it but then you can’t really complain about it now can you? If you are wanting to date yourself; then go for it just be aware that 1 is a lonely number. Remember that you are probably looking for someone for longer than a night and it takes time. Why hide the real you when you being you looks good on you? If you are really as good as you think you are- you probably would already be married or still married. There is always room for change and accepting that you and whomever you meet is not so will enhance your chances of finding what you really want.
3- Not having a picture is harmful to your image. This goes back to the fact that both men and women are visual. How many men would like to go out with the woman they have no idea what she looks like? How many ladies would venture in that direction either? Well all like to see and touch and smell and taste; it’s part of the human experience. Why not have the picture taken and deal with the reality that you have less hair and are not a size 2? At least you are honest and that is to be appreciated.
4- Pace Yourself. While you may look at a picture and read all the wonderful words doesn’t mean anything more than this. You don’t know the person on the other end and getting to know that person takes time. Just because you email back and forth doesn’t mean you all the sudden need to maul her when you meet her for the first time because touching her makes you feel good. An appropriate pace in all areas will help you not get overly emotionally attached to someone you don’t know and end up getting hurt too quickly. Be mindful that you only have the perception of the people you are dating and it may very well be the perception they want you to have. You can’t be certain of anything until you actually spend time investigating it with that person.
Bottom line is that there are millions of people in the dating fishing pool. You have competition. There is no way around that. If you are lazy and expecting something that is unrealistic you will always be disappointed. If you aren’t thinking about the image that you are putting out there; maybe it’s time you should. It will be well worth it. This may very well be your year to dine, wine; and shine in love so why not put in that extra effort and get it!
In a world filled with so many gender role problems; it should be no wonder why these issues are surrounding those in the dating pool. When women behave like men; and men behave like women it ultimately takes its toll. While you may not recognize it at first; it may creep up on you when you least see it. Some may say that it’s the woman while others say it’s the men; although I am an equal opportunist. It’s both and let me show you how.
Generations past men were the men that stood up and took charge; much like the Apostle Paul. They fall but they rise again. They went after what they wanted and they didn’t need to cheat to get it. They understood self respect and respect for women. Where are those men? Today it’s the passive aggressive, ‘let me know if you want me to take you out’ nonsense that doesn’t work with nice women. It’s the text instead of picking up the phone to ask her out. It’s the excuse that ‘men are afraid of women’ that is quite often said. These men would never allow women to criticize them in public or demean them on a daily basis. Nope. Not them.
It’s quite ironic that men say they want a ‘nice’ woman but yet fail to recognize that getting a nice woman means being a nice man. Instead it’s stories of sexcapades to a nice woman followed perhaps by the wonder ‘why doesn’t she like me?’ that is the most hilarious! It’s the “I want a nice woman but must sleep with her before marrying her because I have my needs” that is quite contradictory. Men today appear more lost in direction of what their steps should be to getting that wonderful woman and well; should it be a surprise? Nope. Not at all. Until men recognize their need to change nothing will. It also doesn’t help that the behaviors of women are so bi-polar so what is a man to do?
Women in generations past were feminine. They were graceful. They were ladylike; and they didn’t need to compete with the man they were dating. They didn’t have to prove that they could open their own door. They didn’t need to deliver all the goods before marriage. They just didn’t do it and they never would have talked about it even if they did. Those times are gone. Everything is acceptable and that is the problem. Whether you believe it’s a good thing or not is irrelevant. It’s the fact that overall those times are non existent; and that is what is sad.
Why is it sad you ask? Everything is wonderful! Women are free, strong, income earners and the list goes on! Men; well what are they? Where are they? Are they just nonexistent because women will do everything? Perhaps it is the ploy of men to ‘not’ do anything because they don’t have to. So long as women take control then what really does a man need to do? If the woman asks the man out then he is absolved of rejection, if she makes the plans then he doesn’t have to think, if she does everything then what in the end does she need him for? This is scary because it essentially strips men of their manhood and brings us to a role reversal with women resenting men for not being what they were created to be. Good women who want good men have more of a struggle because the good men are becoming more extinct and by the minute.
Until we grasp the reality that we need each other; things are going to only get more confusing. Until we realize that each of us have a role in the dating relationship we will never reach the place of being married. How could we? If women get out of the way and realize they aren’t the permission givers to men; and men stand up to being who they are things will change. It’s a call to action here!
Men should be men. Men who are strong, take charge, courageous; and ready to be the lover and protector to that wonderful woman. They shouldn’t be forced into the role of girlie men because society says so.
Women should be the woman they were created to be without having to live life like Jezebel; (who was killed by dogs by the way.) It really is ok to just be a lady. You don’t have to be overbearing in strength to show it. Your presence as a woman is all you need.
If you are in the dating pool stand your ground. Ladies; if you don’t want late night texts then don’t accept them. If you don’t have sex outside of marriage; then don’t. Let the man take the lead and you will be surprised at easy he is able to. Remember; most world leaders are men.
Men; just because ‘society says’ doesn’t mean anything. If you are the good man then keep on keeping on. That woman who is a good woman will be blessed to have you. If you; on the other hand, are the lazy man who just accepts whatever woman that does all the work for you, then maybe it’s time to grow up so that you can be the nice man to get the nice woman. You will be so glad that you did!
Where do you fall? Are you the nice guy or gal struggling out there? Or are you wanting to be that? Either way; do share!
It’s incredible just how much people treat each other like a dumping ground. Everywhere we look the niceties are decreasing across our culture. Riots over judges ruling, backstabbing in the workplace, corruption in the White House; and people being dumped via text message. Where have we gone that we as a society think it’s ok to not even think about the person on the other end? Are we truly that shallow?
In previous generations people talked; they saw one another face to face. Relationships were built by spending time with one another. It wasn’t sitting staring at a phone screen that one could barely see typing partial words they can’t spell. Sure that could be because rotary phones were all the rage; but besides that people showed each more respect for others than what they do today. Break-ups may have not been wanted but at least were done with respect and dignity. People didn’t just text-a-dump of one person on the way to meet the next man or woman who’s heart they will break next.
According to www.whatsyourprice.com, an online dating site; a survey of 7,500 of its male members and 8,300 of its female members members found that 88 percent of men have broken up with someone over text message, compared to only 18 percent of women. And 71 percent of men have dumped someone over the phone, compared to 43 percent of women. Ouch! Men are you paying attention to just how many of you are showing your gender to have no class? And then you wonder why the feminist movement is so progressive? Really!?!
This leads me to ask the most pertinent question: have you been dumped via text? Have you been the dumpee? What is the thought process behind it? Or is there? For the one who is doing the dumpee perhaps nothing. Perhaps it’s just an easy way of of not having to face that person of whom you say is beautiful and amazing and you just don’t want to take the time out to say it over the phone or in person? Perhaps you have given no thought to how that person might feel. Perhaps; you frankly don’t care. Either way; think about it now please. Please think about someone other than yourself for a moment; if possible. There is another person on the other end who does have feelings and doesn’t deserve it. You may find that one day you are on the receiving end and may not like it. I pray you aren’t.
If you have been the victim of a text-a-dumper what was your experience? Were you pleased that at least you didn’t get caught with tears in your eyes by someone who proved to show you no respect while you were blindsided? Were you relieved because you were saved from being that person who actually wanted to get out of that relationship but didn’t know how? Or were you left wanting an explanation of how you went from oh so wonderful to woeful in a matter of moments?
You see; regardless of technology the one thing we all need to realize is that the manner in which we treat people is a reflection of our character. Gender is irrelevant. People will remember your actions. They remember beyond the labels you wear and car you drive how you treat them. They remember who you are. The question is what do you want them to remember about you?
The world is changing. Are you seeing it? Are you seeing that there is a takeover of men by women? Perhaps you have been blinded by it. It would make sense; especially if you are a young person in university who hasn’t yet experienced all the feminism indoctrination just yet. Perhaps you have wondered where all the good men have gone to. Are you single and wanting a man; a real man who isn’t a pushover? One who actually opens the car door for you? One who knows that what you think is your intimidation is really just you being pushy and bossy and has no problems putting you in your place. Perhaps; you have wondered why your husband isn’t the man that he was when you married him. Or perhaps; you have noticed nothing. Regardless; the world is changing whether or not you notice it. Just ask Maria Shriver as she will boldly tell you that it’s a ‘woman’s world’. Be on the watch ladies and gents.
In the midst of our society that pushes everything woman power; men are checking out- and in big ways. Gone it appears are the days when being a married man and father meant something. Gone are the days where men were men who would punch someone who tried to kiss him. Now are the days where men are wearing manscera, meggings; and carrying murses. Less men are attending and graduating college and actually working less. Helen Smith, a practicing psychologist and author writes in her book, ‘Men on Strike’ that “Male workforce participation has plummeted. In 1970, some 80% of working-age men were employed full-time, in contrast to the 66% employed full-time nowadays. Women today earn 58% of U.S. bachelor’s degrees.” While it may be great that women are working more and earning more than ever before; are there any consequences? Does it leave us with a more lopsided society?
Christina Hoff Sommers wrote in her 2001 book, ‘The War Against Boys’ “the K-12 education system that feeds into college favors docile, conformist girls over aggressive, competitive boys. Colleges, as well, are riddled with feminist ideology, decimate their athletic programs in the name of Title IX and regard male students as likely rapists in their interactions with their female classmates.”
When we look at this should it be any wonder why there are so many issues between the genders? If boys are now forced to grow up believing that going outside and blowing stuff up isn’t cool or that jumping off the roof into the swimming po0l isn’t awesome then what else is there? Playing with Barbies with hopes of being the next secretary? Now of course there is nothing wrong with any of the jobs or people that fill them but there is a cause for concern to take away the very things that used to in generations past define boys. What now is the definition of ‘boys will be boys’? Do you know? You can turn on any episode of Duck Dynasty on A &E and just as Phil. He will spell it out for you. Psi can help too; Jack.
If girls are taught that women are the only existence then what does that mean for them as they mature? If the only teachings are that men serve no purpose, that sex without marriage is freedom; and ‘eat pray love’ isn’t child abandonment because it’s a ‘female thing’ then where does this leave women who want to be in a traditional marriage; have children and raise them?
When we explore the roles of men and women regardless of what you think they are; doesn’t change the fact that women get pregnant and men are still stronger overall physically than women.
There is a need and room for both women and men. The sooner men stand up and stop allowing themselves to be trampled the sooner the nice men out there will find nice women to marry. The sooner they stand up for themselves as men the better their marriages will be. The sooner women recognize that most likely what they truly want deep down inside is a wonderful thing; the sooner they may be the nice woman to get the nice man. The sooner women get this; the sooner they can relax and enjoy being a woman.
You see; it took me a long time to get it. Pride of independence though is a tricky thing. So is pride of intelligence and pride in general. How can on one hand a woman be independent and then on the next; be expected to be dependent. It’s tough yet women are tough. It’s through that strength that women can accomplish so much. It’s’ quite simple really; when you get it. I can most certainly open my car and other doors. I have even mastered walking in 4″ heels too. I can crown mold my bathroom mirror and build a cornice. I can do many things all by myself but if there is a man around to help then why take the chance of breaking a nail over it?
And guess what? I bet that men can dress themselves, figure out how to get home from your house; and even manage a company or country all by himself.
When we come together to celebrate what each bring to the table you can see that there is much more in the picture to be appreciated than destroyed. I encourage you to take a look around at the men and women in your life and start celebrating what they bring to you instead of reducing it and them to nothing. In the end; you all may be glad you did.
It’s a crazy world out there. It’s an even crazier world in Texas for men. The feminists are at it again punishing men and what a shame. The latest you ask? Well; let me share.
Huffington Post contributor Vivian Norris is calling for all women to to stop having sex with all Texas men – even their husbands – until the men start voting for the “right” to end an unborn baby’s life with a late-term abortion. ‘“Don’t give in if your man, boyfriend, husband, toyboy is not voting for your best interests, your reproductive health. I don’t care how cute or charming he is! I don’t care if he is your husband of many years. Resist! Go swimming! Meditate!”
Norris continued, “Do not make him dinner, do not go fetch him a cold beer from the fridge, do not iron that shirt, hell, do not change that diaper … do not make his life a little nicer this summer if he does not ‘get it’ and learn to respect women!”
Isn’t this appalling? Why on earth should someone who has a difference of opinion be punished? And furthermore; if you are a woman with a man in your life why on earth would you punish him like that? What are you thinking? Have you no shame that you have to sink so low to use sex against him? What exactly did Texas men do to you? And why are you so angry at them?
It gets better! Norris fumed, “This may sound a bit extreme and some will say sex should not be used as a ‘weapon’ but let’s get real, this is Texas, and men in Texas who have not woken up and smelled the coffee simply do not deserve any loving.” Yet you in all your happy glory think you deserve loving? Hmm ok.
I must stand my ground and say that yes this is Texas and Texas women have much more class than to stoop to such a level as degrading themselves by withholding the niceties that come with being in a relationship. Texas women have much more class than to fall for something so ridiculous as that. We Texas women realize that Texas men are real men who don’t cower and that is why we love them. Maybe women around the world should get a clue about that. Real Texas men are not weenies.
What is most curious about this is Norris yet again brings her disjointed opinion when she took yet another jab at pro-life men: “I mean they really do not respect nor listen to women. There is a breed of Texas male who simply does not hear women. Women’s voices remind them of terrorists.”
Really? Isn’t it these women who are pushing such propaganda that are the real terrorists and have absolutely no respect for themselves? Women who play games with men just portray lack of respect for themselves and those around them. They portray outrage in the truest of form under the premise and opinion. These are the women who use men all the time to get pregnant and then toss them away like yesterday’s leftovers? Why are we not focused on the real issue of the problem and stop blaming and punishing those who are just living their lives?
Men are wonderful and don’t deserve to be treated in such a manner by women who like to play games. If you are a women who happens to be blessed with a man; don’t do that to him. He doesn’t deserve it. He loves you. Do you truly want to show your love to him by mean mean, hateful; and childish? Of course not! You are too good of a woman to be swayed by some other woman who is just using you for her agenda. Save yourself and protect your relationship. In the end you will be glad you did!
In America; more people are single either through divorce or never married. Either way; people are single. The numbers may surprise you. According to the US Census Bureau (2012):
‘There are 112 million unmarried people over age 18 in the U.S., representing nearly 47% of the adult population.
44.9% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are female. For every 100 unmarried women there are 88 unmarried men.
23.0% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are people of color and 77.0% are white.
39.2% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older were formerly married and 60.8% have always been single.
68% of divorced or widowed Americans plan to remain unmarried.
These statistics reveal much about who we are as people don’t they? What I am finding most curious about is if men and women are single for the same reasons. Lately I have found more people who are single because they are pursuing ‘their goals’. Now of course there is nothing wrong with pursuing goals of any kind; but it begs the question: how many goals and how many lost opportunities for love will you have passed by? In other words- will you wake up 10 or 15 years later with more wrinkles, grey hair, and wonder what the heck happened?
While many may say that men can only do and focus on one thing at a time; how long does it take to focus and move on? Women on the other hand; are getting their hands equally as dirty with their own goals and dreams and pursuits- because in order to compete in a man’s world you have to become a man right?
I wonder when people will recognize that there will always be a business to start, a degree to complete, a software to write, another client waiting; and another networking even to attend before it all starts another groundhog year. At the end of the day when you meet all your goals and pursuits but have no one to share them with will you realize that all of it kept you single? And for what? Something that no one but you cares about? What then? Will it be too late? I sure hope not!
On this day, June 16th 2013 it is important to acknowledge and recognize the fathers in the world. They are everywhere. They are breadwinners, soldiers, athletes, CEO’s, plumbers, landscapers, attorneys, doctors, maintenance managers; and the list goes on. The one thing they are in the eyes of their children more often is hero.
As the times and our culture have drastically changed; we can see the trends where fathers are not lifted to the elevated status that they once had. Instead it’s the celebration of women for this and for that; all the while men and what they bring to the table isn’t as noticed. That needs to change. Our culture needs to recognize that both women and men are special; and that each have their own purpose. When working cooperatively more can be done than being divided. After all it was a woman by the name of Sara Dodd who created Father’s Day after her mother passed away. Her father not only fought in the Civil War; but also raised 6 children as a widower. What a hero!
President Woodrow Wilson wished to make the holiday official, speaking at the 1916 celebration in Spokane, but its commercial nature caused Congress to not pass the bill. President Cooling also made an attempt. It was not until Margaret Chase Smith, a senator from Main, stated that it was unfair to honor mothers and not fathers in 1957. Finally someone who sees the bigger picture! President Johnson finally issued a proclamation in 1966 and Nixon made the holiday official in 1972. It’s nice to know that through it all the persistence stood the stand of time and fathers are celebrated for who they are and what they do!
On this day; take time out to thank your father for what he has done for you. If you don’t like your father; forgive him for what he has done and realize that all parents make mistakes. None are immune. Be thankful that you know your father as there are plenty of people who unfortunately don’t.
A few days ago I delivered a lecture about the speech making process. As part of one of the activities I conducted a brainstorming exercise on the topic of marriage. The purpose was to list as many thoughts and ideas about marriage as possible within a 5 minute period.
Writing down all the items they ranged from divorce to divorce rates, the definition of marriage, children and man cave. Some took it serious while others had a little more fun and tossed out ideas like dating even though he meant his spouse. We continued with arranged marriage, culture and where to live. Through this 5 minute time session much was explored.
Upon completion we all looked at the list. A lot of items listed and they thought they did a nice job. One would think as the white board was filled with plenty of items to move toward the next step in the speech making process. This was until someone pointed out that ‘love’ was not on the list. How could that be? True enough; I looked again at the list and nope ‘love’ did not make it.
How is it that in a discussion of ideas about marriage that love does not equate? What really does that say about where we are as a society? Of course after everyone realized this it surely had to be added but the point remained. Love was not one mentioned.
Should we be upset or surprised at the current divorce rate if when we talk about marriage love doesn’t make the cut? What then is marriage about? Just signing a piece of paper for better health insurance or saving a few bucks on rent each month?
It’s a sad day when the reality is how little love counts in what should be the most important relationship in a person’s life. It’s also sadder when someone in the lecture says that a marriages survive on money and not love. If this were true the divorce rate wouldn’t be what it is. So this begs the question: if you were delivering a speech about marriage what would your three main points be?