It’s incredible that there are so many who push the ‘feminine’ agenda and all about the power of women unless it’s the likes of Sara Palin or Maria Kang; or those who are prettier than they are. Why ladies; can we all not come together to celebrate the essence of women instead of hating each other? Don’t we get enough of this from television commercials, men, religion; and everything else? It’s a worldwide issue and we together have the power to make it stop. It doesn’t matter if you are in Australia, Saudi Arabia, Canada or Tokyo it’s all the same,
The latest story of of the 32-year-old Maria Kang who is a fitness model and former beauty pageant contestant-oh and military wife and mother of 3. She posted a picture wearing workout attire with her children asking ‘What’s Your Excuse?’ The backlash she has received is enormous! The question is ‘why do so many women care what other women are doing’? Why are you giving so much time hating one woman when you could be loving yourself?
For women who want to or say they want to embrace each other; stop the bickering. Stop the backbiting. Stop focusing on what other women are doing. Stop comparing and blaming everyone else for your body image issues. Just stop it.
Women need to look at women for who they are. Maria Kang is a military wife, she is a mother of 3; and she is judged for what she looks like. If you feel bad about yourself after looking at models or beauty queens; then stop looking at it. If you know eating fries isn’t healthy; then stop. It’s that simple.
So long as women judge women for being too big or small; for being too pretty or ugly we will never advance. We will never be friends. We will never be in business together. We will never get past the small-mindedness of talking and gossiping about people to the level of speaking about ideas and ventures.
Ladies let’s get past what we think other women should be doing or looking like and start focusing on what we individually can and should be doing for the best change in our lives. Let’s stop the misogyny and celebrate women together. Don’t you agree?
The best way to get something different in life is to take the steps. It’s not that hard; once you get your mind in order.
Here are a few ideas to help you get started:
1- Think about what you are thinking about. How much time do you spend thinking about terrible the U.S. economy is, the disasters here or there, the Saints first loss of the season, the cost of everything; and all the other stuff that is just plain negative. Get away from it to get that positive mindset as you can’t live without it!
2- Look at what you are looking at. Are the images of skinny models wearing you down? How about vehicles or houses that you can’t afford? People on facebook living life and traveling? Regardless if what you are looking at is it not manifesting positive and good things in your life; why give your eyes to see it? Once you see it its imbedded so why bother? Don’t you need the time to do something else more productive; like live?
3- Listen to who you are listening to. Who is telling you that you aren’t good enough? Tall enough? Pretty enough? Wealthy enough? If you feed your mind garbage it will crave it. If those around you are negative and complaining then surround yourself with people who aren’t. There will always be someone selling you the lie that you are never good enough. Shut it down.
4- Taste what you are actually eating. If you actually stop long enough to taste what you are putting in your mouth- what does it taste like? Do you know? Coca Cola was just busted for advertising that sugar alternatives in their products are safe. “Our use of high-quality, low- and no-calorie sweeteners, including aspartame, allows us to give people great-tasting options they can feel good about.” Sure because a knockoff of anything is always better than the original. If you want to taste the good in what you are eating and drinking; then perhaps eating and drinking good things would be a great place to start. Oh and If you can pronounce them and their ingredients that’s even better!
Regardless of where you are or what you are doing change starts with you. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired then change it. Don’t spend your life talking about it; as no one cares about what you talk about. They will only care when you are up and making the change that they wish they could have made.
Of course you think you are right. You have the latest knee high boots just in time for fall and are already preparing for Spring 2014 fashions. You already have the new 2014 Tahoe picked out and are ready. Yes; equipped you are.
The thing is that that isn’t what I am asking about. Who cares about all that stuff. The bigger picture is what I challenge you to look at. With the government shut down things are different. Sure it may not seem like it in your city; although reports from those in DC tell a different story.
What are you doing now to take precautions just in case? The Truckers to Shut Down America rally is this weekend which means that there may be a slow in food delivery to your local grocery store. If you are on who only buys what you need on a daily basis or every couple of days what would your plan be if you can’t what you need? Being out of toilet paper could be a big bummer; especially if you have kids.
If you are not saving any of your income because you believe it just won’t happen to you; take a look around you. It’s probably not unlikely that someone in your neighborhood thought the same thing. How much money are you setting aside? And not in the stock market either. How much money do you have in savings in cash? How much do you save in your savings account or your mattress bank? I learned years ago when I went to withdraw money from my credit union and they told me the servers were down and I couldn’t get any of it; that I needed a better plan. Perhaps you do too.
Are you so busy sharing with your world of facebook wanna be friends about your travel plans to gain self glory that you don’t stop to think that you just blasted to everyone to come rob you because you aren’t there?
Are you prepared in case you are attacked while driving like the family in NYC? It’s obvious that the police aren’t your friend when they are the ones doing the attacking right? Just take a look at Wojciech Broszczok and you will clearly know.
I came across this website http://www.secretsofsurvival.com/survival/israeli-defense-force-commando-tips.html that provides much to think about without a doubt! It definitely opened my eyes to things that I need to be mindful of as I go about living my life.
You see; being equipped isn’t about being a fanatic about anything. It’s about being wise. ‘be prepared in season and out of season’ 2Tim 4:2 tells us. It’s about the change in thinking. It’s about looking up when walking instead of staring down at a phone. It’s about making sure you are taking responsibility for yourself at all times. It’s pretty clear that your government won’t be any time soon. This means it’s up to you.
Interesting question isn’t it? Maybe you are pondering this right now. Should I? Shouldn’t I? There are so many options where does one start? Match.com, E-Harmony, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Chemistry, Christian Mingle, Christian Single; Ashley Madison- oh she’s not about making marriage she’s about marriage destruction. Anyway; what you decide is between you and the Lord but here are some things to ponder before getting yourself into a game.
The purpose for many in the online dating pool is ultimately marriage; while for a select few it is finding a mistress because they are in sexless marriages and others just want to be friends and hang out. There is a myriad of options which is fine. The bigger question is: what are you doing it for? What is your goal? What is your focus? This leads me to something bigger.
Many people and pastors included have written on the topic that there is no set of instructions in the Bible for dating. While this may be true in the specific literal term the Bible is very clear about a few things:
1- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6: 33 (NIV) If you are seeking eharmony where is the focus? Obviously not on the Kingdom right? It probably is not on seeking the Lord to find out why you are still single in the first place. Being single isn’t about going out and just finding someone it’s about being the right someone for the someone that God has for you. If you just skip this step you will get the wrong someone and then most likely go back to God and complain about who you chose and settled for. Now sure you may be one who replies with something like,’Julie you just don’t understand. I’m not 30 anymore and there are no good men or women in my town.’ Ha! I am not even 35 even more! I live in a city where there are 8 women per 1 man and the men have been so emasculated by the women that they haven’t even crawled out of the cave to the proper way in which to ask a woman on a date! I get it trust me. It doesn’t change the fact that your focus being on the other person isn’t doing anything to change you in godly ways.
2- Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1Thes 5:18 (NIV) Now sure most singles aren’t giving thanks for being single until they get married and then wish for it right? When we look at this if you are in a position you don’t want to be in and are fighting it; then where is the thanks? Are you thanking the Lord that during this time you are single or are you complaining about it and then taking it into your own hands because you think you know better? If you are saying ‘Thanks God for E-harmony. I got it from here’ do you really? Only time will tell. The time being single is better spent becoming that right person and being able to do more for the Kingdom because once you are married you will have different things in your life.
3- But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1Sam 16:7 (ESV) It’s pretty hard to see someone’s heart when sifting through all the images to find the attractive rich ones with no kids isn’t it? “Oh yes; this one is good for me: he has hair and makes 100k per year. He must be the one for me!” Yep. Just like the last Mr. Not So! Do you see the pattern? Now is it wrong to want someone who works and makes money? Of course not! But let’s get real: men look at the images of women and women look at the salary requirements. There is no need to sugar coat it. No one wants poor and ugly.
4- Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phi 4:8 (ESV) Are you having pure thoughts when browsing through all the photos of the singles on the dating sites? Or are you judging just a little? Perhaps lustfully? Perhaps curious if they really do still look like that? Heck are you even representing yourself to the truth that you are? That’s probably the better question as that too is an injustice for the would be browsers to your profile!
5. “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Prov 16:9 (NIV) Is it your plan to go out and do this online dating thing because you are tired of waiting? Is it your impatience running the show? Might God have a better plan? Perhaps laying yourself down too would be of benefit.
5- Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Prov 4:25 (NIV) Now this one can get tricky as online dating for some may not prove to be a distraction; however, for many it proves to be so. How so? Time? Time to play the game. Time spent emailing back and forth with multiple people. Time on the phone. Time meeting only to find out that it was a waste of time. Time. Time not spent focusing on the Lord and becoming who you need to be in order to be prepared for the person He already has for you. Time. It is time. Regardless of how you look at it it can not be said enough. It’s time.
I’ve tried it. I’ve tried them all and I want my time back. I would like to say that I didn’t meet the former pastor who dumped me via text and then a month later wanted to make things right by justifying it because he didn’t want to deal with the ‘drama’. I would like to share that the christian man didn’t tell me that he was dating a married woman and that if I didn’t go to his house for sex he would call the other ‘2’ who would; neither of which were the married one he was dating. I would love to share with you that there isn’t an expectation of sex by the 3rd time of meeting; and yes these are from Christians. I would like to share with you that it would be nice to not have been cursed out with every obscenity in an email for still an unknown reason. I would like to say that I didn’t put my time toward it; but I did. I invested my time into all of it. Money too.
I thought what you may be thinking: “it’s hard to meet people and it’s better than going to the bar and people at church are too churchy or married. I want to be married and have what my friends have.” I get it. Trust me; I do and probably more than you realize. The good news is this: ‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.’ Heb 13:8 (NIV) The promises in the Word are true and this means for you too. I’m not saying online dating is bad or don’t do it; I am just giving you insight to help you make better decisions about the direction that is best for you.
There is a plan for you. Maybe it’s getting to know Jesus and learning more about what you need to work on with Him so you are ready when that person comes. You would hate to miss it! Maybe it is signing up and getting in the game! Who knows? Only God. He did after all create you from the dust of the earth.
Why wait until Thanksgiving to share what you are thankful for? Start today!
Dating is a time to get to know someone else. It’s a time for enjoying the company of someone and determining whether that person is someone you would want to learn more about and get to know. The catch is that in our society of selfishness, self focusedness and selfies it’s become more difficult to get away of the ‘I’ focus. If you are the center of your world and have no pets, no kids and no plants; or anything besides yourself it’s a tough lesson to learn. Some things that may cause you from getting past the first date may be some of the ‘I’ items that may be getting in your way. These include:
1- Focus too much on your education. Sure you went to Princeton but so what? What else is there?
2- Focus on all the places you have traveled to. It’s nice you have traveled the world but what does that have to do with the person listening?
3- Focus on all the name dropping of all the famous people you know. What does you knowing famous people have to do with anything?
4- Focus on the titles you have had in your career. Your title may only imply you are more interested in titles than developing who you are without them.
5- Focus on all the stuff you have collected and car you drive. It’s nice you have toys and shoes but what else is there beyond spending money on things that simply depreciate?
If you are out to meet someone else yet spend more time talking about yourself all it reveals is that you are:
1- Trying to prove something.
2- Bragging.
3- Egotistical
4- Insecure
5- Not interested in the person you are with or getting to know that person.
You see it’s one thing to share who you are but yet if you spend the entire time selling yourself as to why you are so wonderful yet forget to ask a single question about the person you are there to get to then what is there? How possible is it to get to know someone else if you only share how wonderful you are? What really can you expect if you leave without knowing anything about the person you were just with?
It can be a challenge to get to know someone so just ask yourself how much of what you talk about is you focused compared on others focus? Getting away from what you think is going to sell you to simply sharing who you are will get you much further than you think. I challenge you today to ask yourself, ‘Who am I?’ instead of ‘What am I?’ and go from there. I’m curious to know that beyond what you have. Aren’t you?
Most people dread Mondays! It’s traffic, being late, back to the routine of life and all the other stuff that people experience. It’s all in the thought process. Mondays are good. They just are. Say it with me: “Mondays are great!” See, I knew you could do it.
Here are 5 reasons why Monday’s are great:
1- You are one step closer to your dream, vision; or goal. Last week is gone so why not celebrate Monday and have a positive attitude about it?
2- You may not be where you want to be; but you aren’t where you used to be. Most people look forward to Friday all the while missing the reality that most of what is going to get them to their ultimate dreams typically starts on Monday and ends Friday.
3- It’s the start of a new week; unless you start your week on Sunday. New beginnings are always wonderful.
4- For men: Monday night football. For women: Dancing with the Stars. I couldn’t resist.
5- If you are experiencing it it means that you are still alive. Isn’t that one reason enough?
Bottom line is that if you are constantly looking forward to any other day but the one you are experiencing you are never really experiencing life at the moment you are living. It’s time to stop focusing on the specific day and start focusing on the life you have to live!
There are three types of people in this world. It doesn’t take much to identify which you are; and of course which you want to be.
Let’s examine:
1- Those who make things happen: These are the early risers who recognize life is short and needs to be lived. These are those who don’t procrastinate, don’t hold back; and don’t let opportunity slide by. They are opportunistic, creative, assertive and visionaries. Think John Maxwell Albert Einstein, or even Phil Robertson.
2- Those who watch things happen: These are the people who tend to be more methodical although to a fault. Life is to be lived; and with this group more time spent watching things happen and less time making things happen. Some symptoms of this are analysis paralysis, indecisiveness, fear of failure or success, self-esteem issues and more. Sure there are those who may argue the point but most likely if they were trying to they would be in the category of making things happen so it’s a moot point.
3- Those who wonder what happened. It happens so quick to those who aren’t paying attention. Life goes by, the kids graduate college; and here this group of people are scratching their heads wondering what happened. It’s a shame because there is so much the world is missing from them and if only they would get it; the world could and would be a better place. Their symptoms include lack of direction, vision and purpose, fear of achieving, approval seeking, self-doubt, procrastination and others.
Which are you? Do you see yourself in more than one category or not one you want to be in? Regardless of where you are; your life is waiting for you? Go live it. Start today and make it happen in the way that only you can!
All images belong to their various owners.
It’s sport season all around. Whether you are into the NFL, MLB, or college football there is something out there for everyone who loves a game. The talk about statistics, the play Marlin’s Adeiny Hechavarria made last night against the Phillies and just winning makes for great conversation. Through it all there are people in life winning?
When we look around society as a whole who is winning? And winning what? Furthermore; is winning everything? Charlie Sheen may have his answer but is it really the real answer?
When you think of winning what does it mean to you? Is it beating your competitors every time? Or is something bigger? Perhaps you have not ever thought about it before. Two people that know much about winning in sports are Tony Dungee and John Wooden. What is great about Tony Dungee is just his presence and how he treated his players. Never did he yell and still produced results.
John Wooden is a known winner in that he coached UCLA basketball team to 10 NCAA championships in his 12 years of coaching; with seven of them in a row. He also posted records for undefeated seasons and record straight wins of 88 games in a row. That is unheard of in sports! What’s the secret? What is it that brings some to the winning while others not so much?
The answer simply would be self development and improvement. You see; with the right focus in the right place the right results will be attained. If the right focus in the wrong place is evident the right results can’t be attained. If the wrong focus is in the wrong place then be default nothing of what is wanted will be attained.
Where do you fall in? Are you focusing on winning at all cost? Are you focusing on the Jones’s and what they have instead of what you already have that they don’t? Are you focusing on being better than everyone else instead of focusing on refining and improving you?
I learned a long time ago that the more time I spend focusing on the things outside of me the less time I am spending improving myself. Through that not only have I lost time and gotten distracted; but I most certainly am not winning!
It’s been said if you ask a man what he’s thinking and he says ‘nothing’; he isn’t lying. It must be nice to be a man and have that much space to be in position to think about nothing. Most women have not yet mastered the idea of thinking nothing or that they actually can do it.
The question then is: ‘what are you thinking about?’ Do you even know? Perhaps you are not getting to the life that you truly want because the thoughts in your head are creating too much clutter.
A few ways to combat the thoughts and get over the stinking thinking are:
1- Know what you are thinking about. Most people don’t even realize what it is they think about and when they get it; it’s a shock! It would be no different than listening to and singing raps songs only to realize they are all about things that you say you don’t stand for!
2- Forgive. By forgiving someone who hurt you; the thoughts about what that person did will be gone. Gone too will be the resentment, bitterness, anger; and even revenge thoughts. Your mind, body and soul will be at peace to allow you to think on much better and positive things to move you in the direction you want to go. The emotional baggage will only hold you back and weigh you down in the end!
3- Prioritize your activities. If you try to do all things at one time you won’t be as successful as you would be doing one thing at a time. While years ago mastering multi-tasking was a good thing; studies continue to reveal that those who do aren’t nearly as focused or productive. This makes sense as how can one be productive with only 30% of focus going to one thing at a time? It takes longer to get one thing done and by prioritizing items there is more focus toward that one thing which clears out all the rest of the mind clutter. There are less geniuses in the world today because of lack of prioritizing and ability to concentrate. Create a system that works for you so that you can accomplish more and not get bogged down with extra thoughts. It doesn’t have to be complicated; just what works for you.
4- Breathe and Relax. By including breathing and relaxing into your day you will increase the balance in you life. There is nothing wrong with taking a 10 minute walk to clear your mind. Deep breathing exercises are known to help many while others simply go and pray and return refreshed. It’s ok to not be superman or woman!
5- Create Positive Daily Thinking Habits. It takes work to not be defeated by the thoughts in your mind. It takes work to not be overwhelmed by rude people, those who can’t drive; and everything else that comes with the world we live in. It is a choice to think about what you think about and it’s just as easy to create a good habit of thought patterns as it is a bad one. What you think you are you are.
These are just some simple tips to get you started. When you really see what thoughts you have allowed in you may see the need for change. There is a big world of living to do and there is no reason to be defeated by your mind. Get out of the rut of stinking thinking and be forever changed by new thoughts and patterns! There is no reason to be defeated and living in clutter when it’s just as easy to be productive and free.