Gaining weight isn’t hard for most people. In some ways it reminds me of a rash that just gets bigger and spreads to places you can’t see. Or perhaps that was just my experience.
When it comes to fat, forgiveness and weight loss people get confused and with real reason. What’s of interest though is that the Bible is very clear about how to live at your ideal weight. Once I grasped that; my life changed! Of course we know the Bible has information about how to live but the health factor was one I missed. Apparently I didn’t see the words pasta or chocolate cake in Proverbs 32 but I digress. (some of you got that) I’ll be ok with being that Proverbs 31 woman either way!
And so it went where I made it about weight when in reality it wasn’t; even though I didn’t even know how much I weighed I just knew it was a lot more than when I lived in Denver. And I knew I didn’t like it. It wasn’t until I read the Book ‘God’s Weigh to Your Ideal Body Weight’ by Michael Scott Lowery that I got it. I always knew that weight issues weren’t the issue but rather a symptoms; but what was the issue? You can check out his book here: http://www.godsweighministry.com
This book I must say has been my favorite book in recent years along with one by David Powlison; outside of the Bible of course. His points are right on with the issues with people, the church; and society. Each one of us are accountable and just because there are 55 restaurants across the street doesn’t mean anything more than that!
If you are struggling with your weight forgive yourself. I will say this is the first place you must must must start. Forgiveness is the greatest weight loss and cheapest face lift without a doubt!
Today on “Living in Forgiveness” I am actually interviewing Michael Scott Lowery. I am excited because the book is great and it opened my eyes. I’m sure it will yours too. Join me at 2/3pm CST on the UANetwork. If you are in Dallas it’s channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NJ channels 18 & 49.1 You can also stream it live at www.uanetwork.tv. Either way just take the time to watch and get fed on something that will bring health and wellness to your body and soul.
People and society will always have an opinion; whether a good one or not is really not relevant. It’s moreso the fact that others think that they have your life figured out when in reality they can’t even function in their own lives.
American society will always try to change you by telling you what you ‘should’ do. The media does it and people don’t get it. There once was a time when the purpose of the media was to report the news; those days are gone. According to the Agenda Setting Theory it was tell people what to think about; now it’s what to think. Now the media just makes the news instead because people are proving incapable of making decisions for themselves. Perhaps you live in Ukraine or Israel and experience the same thing. It probably happens to us all.
And so it goes you have been deceived. You probably have been told what you should wear for the next season. Oh yes if you live in Italy it’s just your custom be so well dressed; whether you feel like it or not. You have been told what car you should drive; what neighborhood you should live in. You probably have been told that by now you should at least be married, if not already divorced with three kids you never wanted in the first place. Oh and you should have at least a BA or BS but in today’s world you really should think about getting that MBA if you expect to go anywhere in your career.
Yep. I heard it all. I heard all the should’s known to man. I dated the man who actually told me, ‘You should dress like her, talk like her, and wear your hair like her. Then you would be beautiful.’ You should have seen his face when I walked out and never looked back. And don’t tell me I should have; unless it was just to see the look on his face. But I already knew.
So it begs the question: are you living the life you should be living? Or are you living the life others think you should be living? It’s a tough question I know. I once was there. I had the Bible teacher tell me that at age 37 I should have a teenager because that is where I ‘should’ have been. There is a systematic order to how life goes you see. Yeah sure. I see the misery on the faces of all the people who followed what others said they should do. It goes the way it is supposed to go for each of us and it’s only until we stop the should’s that we can be free.
If you are trapped into living what others think stop. Forgive yourself and do it quick. God has a plan specifically for you. Jerermiah 29:11 makes it very clear: ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Your plan is for you and you alone. If you don’t know it- get with God. Going to man to ask questions only God can answer makes no sense!
You don’t want to live for others who aren’t even living it out for themselves. That doesn’t even make sense. You are where you are and while it may not be where you want to be; you are the one to change that. No one else. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap that thinking the boring house in the suburbs will answer all your questions when in actuality you are miserable but just biting your tongue waiting to escape. Forgive yourself for not being true to who you were created to be. Life is short so don’t let another day go by where you think about what you should do instead of just doing it.
We all are where we are and the best part is that no one else can get you where you should be except for you. So today; where do you want to go? Where do you want to go that you know you should have gone back then? Write it down. Habakkuk 2 is clear ‘“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets.’ Do it! There is nothing stopping you; no more could’s or should’s. Just you. Get out of your way, forgive, and get to where you are going! You can do it. How do I know? Because I did.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
In the realm of unforgiveness and its symptoms most people know the basics: resentment, bitterness and or anger but did you know there are almost 40 symptoms of unforgiveness? Yes! And I’m sure there are more I just need to dig deeper in the Word to find them.
Judgment is one symptom that keeps people in bondage and not in a good way. I’m not certain there is actually a good bondage but I digress. Sure one may be able to judge the good apples from the bad at the grocery store; however, the focus in that particular judgment is finding the best apple therefore the focus isn’t on the negative component of judgment in the manner in which it is a symptom for discussion. We know in John 7:24 it tells us, ‘Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.’ Judging the good apple isn’t just about the color.
So how does incorrect judgment operate in the life of an unforgiver? In 3 ways:
1. It keeps you biased. When someone is unforgiving there is a reason. Getting to the real reason is another blog altogether but for this one unforgiveness keeps the unforgiver only able to see people and situations from their own vantage point. The judgment comes in to play for the fact that those involved are not able to be judged fairly because of what is internally occurring in the heart of the unforgiver. Case in point: before I forgave my biological mother for abandoning me I hated her. (just being honest) I judged her for what she did to me because I was the victim; the child. I was not able or ready to hear or receive the truth of the situation because I was in judgment mode. She was a fat liar in my eyes. Once I forgave her my heart opened to hear the truth. What was the truth? That she was given an ultimatum to sell me to the case worker for 10k or he would change our appointment times so that we would not ever see each other. He during the early 70’s was buying and selling babies on the Canadian black market. Learning that changed everything! My judgment linked to unforgiveness kept me not knowing that and living in it. When you judge you show where you are and most of the time you really don’t even know what you are judging or how because of the bias that unforgiveness brings to your life. Oh and let’s not forget that the Word tells us to honor thy mother and father and I wasn’t doing that. One more strike against me! And now she co-hosts “Living in Forgiveness” the first Saturday of every month. Praise God!
2. It stunts your growth. If you claim to be a believer or follower of Christ and you allow unforgiveness to reign; you stunt your growth. You are blocking God from blessing you, you are not a blessing, you cannot be forgiven according to God’s Word in Matthew 6:14: ‘For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.’ If you are unforgiving then what does your future look like? For me; it looked as bleak as my past! Perhaps you are simply reliving your past daily instead of living your future presently. If yes; it’s time to truly dig in and deal with unforgiveness and all of its symptoms. Not only this; if you just simply believe ‘I forgave’ because you said it 20 years ago but are still judgmental toward others with a critical spirit; then there is another clue. That’s your free fruit cup with lunch today! If you want to be used to to the full by God the best way to is removing internal clutter.
3. It serves as a distraction. Judgment and unforgiveness are both distractions. Period. When people allow judgment in their hearts where is their focus? On everyone and everything else right? I recently shared about the judgment againt the pastor for asking for financial assistance in the purchase of a new jet to replace the one he already has and the amount of judgment upon that man is incredible! It’s incredible how many people have time to judge what others are or are not doing according to what they think personally yet have not enough time to read the Bible daily. How does that even work?
Judgment keeps people off track and off focus. It keeps people moving in the wrong direction and not the God direction. How can you be moving in the God direction if you are spending your time judging what others are doing? Ask yourself this: are you more concerned with what your siblings are doing than where you are going? Are you more concerned about who your ex-spouse is dating than where you are going? Are you more concerned with what this ministry is asking for then what your time is with the Lord? Don’t let judgment be what your focus is or becomes.
As forgiveness becomes your lifestyle your heart will change. As your heart changes you will see people different. I see my mother much different than I did when we met. I hated her and now my love for her is as that of Jesus loving me. She is a work in progress as we all are and the wonderful news is that I am free. Forgiveness removed the judgment of negativity that was breeding to be able to live in love of others to see the beauty that truly does exist. It just took me a few decades to get there. Don’t follow that example but take to heart that it’s best to sow forgiveness and love and know that through it you are not only being obedient but demonstrating a living example of Christ. And if you claim to be a believer; isn’t that what you should live by?
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live at www.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
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Being in ministry is not easy. It comes with a myriad of aspects and components that most wouldn’t think to recognize. Having a television ministry brings an additional level of components that most people don’t experience or deal with. The judgment upon those in ministry and television ministry is something that should not be in existence one to another in the body of Christ; yet it continues to increase. The Word is clear that a house divided cannot stand and right now the body of Christ is proving this to be true.
The judgment of other people in ministry brings dissent among the body. Recently; one pastor asked for financial assistance to purchase a new jet. Outrage has come upon that man for asking and it begs the question why? The questions can be asked: 1) why is it your business what someone is asking for, 2) isn’t it an issue between that pastor, ministry and the Lord, 3) what relevance does it have to anything? See; someone judging someone else for anything doesn’t make you right. Then it leads to ask: what is in your heart that causes you to judge what others are asking for? The ministry by the way already has an airplane and was reported to have flown over 4 Million miles. How many CEO’s can report that many miles flown to do their work? Can you claim that? I certainly can’t!
The other recent situation is between one pastor and an author who are now in legal action regarding who was the first to discover the blood moon phenomenon. Again judgment and division is evident. People are coming against one another and in more and larger ways and until we start to see the bigger picture of it and stop; we will end up crumbling and for what? Judgment upon another? We are called to be the light of the world and when we aren’t others lose out.
Bottom line is this: when you allow judgment and critical thoughts of others in your heart it breeds. Seek forgiveness and do it quick! You don’t want that in your heart. It reveals more about you than what you would ever want. If you are one who has been blessed with a public ministry and you publicly speak negatively about those who are doing nothing more than asking as it reads in the Bible what are you breeding? If you speak negatively about others who are bringing people to Christ then ask yourself what you sowing into your own congregation. What thoughts are those people now thinking that they probably weren’t before. It doesn’t matter if it is about these two situations or simply negative words spoken about anyone. It simply doesn’t. What you speak you are responsible for. And why get yourself into a situation where you are the one sowing discord among believers? Seek forgiveness and then regain your focus as it reads in Colassians 3:2 : ‘Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.’
God has something for you and when your focus is there you will see what God will do in your life and you won’t have to spend time focus what is going on in the lives of others or their ministries. It is a waste of time to get distracted by what others are or are not doing. It too is a distraction to then speak about it in a way that doesn’t uplift or give glory to God.
We are in a time now where unity in all things must be the foundation in the body of Christ. This is not the inclusion gospel but rather a demonstration that in we must stand united and keep a Jesus and His message focus. Every single believer has a ministry regardless of the size. If you are a believer the moment you walk out your door you are in ministry. You have an assignment. My guess is that it isn’t to call out negative things of other ministries or to judge what is in their hearts; but rather to win souls for Christ. When that becomes your real focus you will close the door to judgment and unforgiveness and will open the way for love and forgiveness to reign.
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things in life for people to do. There are a myriad of reasons why but most importantly; the main reason is self. Yep. Self gets in the way. Overcoming yourself to get to a place of forgiveness will change your life and those around you.
You see; most of society is all about self and self focus. Some are even known to have books of selfies with one for each day. And all of us should be so pleased right? Again; all about self. Yet when we break it down to its core; forgiveness isn’t about self at all. It’s about getting over self to live another way.
Forgiveness is a command. Period. The Word doesn’t read or say to forgive if you ‘feel’ like it. I know it’s a shock to learn but true. If you want the Lord to forgive you then it’s up to you to make up your mind to forgive others for what they have done; else you are the one suffering the consequences of your chosen disobedience. As it goes with anything; it’s your choice. So long as you are more focused on you than living as one should if you claim to be a Christian then your life will reflect it and not in a good way. I
When you make the choice to get over yourself to come to a place of forgiveness you will see that it is much more about how you feel. God doesn’t really operate in ‘how you feel’. He just doesn’t. And neither should we. This is why we have to get over ourselves and do what is commanded and not live by our feelings. Your feelings will probably misguide you on any level. All one has to do is either look in a mirror or closet and see what feelings have led to right?
If you want true peace in your life forgive those who have wronged you. They probably haven’t a clue! They are just like you in that you too have probably hurt others and were not aware. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made as who are you to hold judgment against yourself? Forgive society for causing such a selfish and narcissistic society in the first place if you must! Regardless; make sure that you do lay yourself down and forgive. Don’t harbor it or all
Many people who experience spiritual abuse aren’t aware of it in the beginning or in process, else why would they be in it in the first place. Reconciliation of events that occur over time require forgiveness and through that come healing and restoration.
See; those who are abused don’t wake up one morning and go search for the abuse. People don’t t wake up one morning with thoughts of ‘Let me see who I can find to hurt me all in the name of Jesus. Let me see how that would feel for a years.’ People don’t just knowingly do that.
It’s what happens though. It happens all over the world and on a daily basis. People get involved in churches, Bible studies; groups of people whom they begin to build relationships with and over time things change. The abuser is the one in charge and leading people down a path; that most of the time is about his or her agenda. The unsuspecting attendees are all about the mission at hand. They are happy to be a part of doing something for the greater good and life change is just part of the process. Never mind the change more often than not is not the change anyone would want to experience.
It isn’t until things happen and eyes open that the reality sets in. It may be a person speaking the real truth, something that you now pay attention to that you have been hearing for years; or just that you get to the most absolute lowest point of your life to where suicide is the most freeing way out. Regardless; learning the truth will make you free!
It’s through learning the truth of the abuse that is probably the hardest. Nothing is as you expected it to be nor can it be. Time has passed. You have passed. You are no longer who you were to do what you were called to do all those years ago and you can’t get them back. Time; is gone. How do you reconcile that? How do you reconcile what you have lost? How do you reconcile what you gave up and what was stolen from you? Simple. Forgive.
It is one of the hardest things in life to forgive. There is damage beyond what most people can grasp or understand. People took advantage of you and while they did it; you too were there. You were willing to be a participant. It was your vulnerability that allowed you to be in that position in the first place. Forgiveness will remove the pain to allow you to go forward.
Forgiveness will reconcile you from the past. It will not get back those lost years. But it will give you much to go forward with. It will free you from any attachment to those who abused you. Forgiveness will free you from the choices you have made. Forgiveness will allow you to see your new future in the way that you were probably able to see it long before your abuse began. While a process; forgiveness will set you free. Forgiveness will reconcile you with who you used to be and the real you to where you are going. And if you want to get going-forgive and be reconciled. You don’t want to lose more time when your future is waiting for you.
Spiritual abuse is hard to walk out of. Nothing is as it was nor will be ever be what it is as this very moment. Life is different and so are you. The good news is that your future is bright. Let forgiveness reign so you can get to it!
If you spend your time focusing on what has been lost; you will only lose more. It is not possible to gain and go toward a future while focusing on loss at the same time. Your future is waiting for you. While it may be difficult to see in the beginning know it is true. You are still standing and that is what is most important. If you weren’t you would have no testimony right? But you are here. You are triumphant. You my friend, are a survivor and of much more than you can ever realize.
As you look toward your future know that those in your path and past are and have served a purpose. What those purposes are are different for each of us. The good news is that through forgiveness you can see the purpose and go toward what is waiting for you.
There is no time like the present to let the past be what it was which was a journey. There is no time like the present to stand tall in who you were truly created to be and go toward the leaps and bounds waiting for you. Perhaps it’s moving to a new state. Perhaps it’s changing careers. Perhaps it is walking away from Church and into relationship with Jesus who has walked with you through the entire ordeal. Perhaps it’s just time for you to stand alone and see life in a new light- and in a sparkling pair of Christian Louboutin pumps! Regardless of what you are about to do; the best news is that you are still standing to do it. And that is the best thing you can ask or hope for!
There is much about spiritual abuse that is not talked about; especially the signs. People today just follow without thought; clueless of the sheep in wolves clothing preying- just waiting for the attack. It’s time to get it folks! Spiritual abuse and the warning signs are there-if you only pay attention.Forgive yourself if you haven’t and keep reading! Warning signs of spiritual abuse:
1. Misuse of scripture. If your pastor, spiritual mentor, adviser, etc. is misusing scripture it’s a red flag. If that person tells you things like ‘those who give the most get blessed the most’ and cites a variety of scripture- it’s wrong.
2. The person is controlling. There is a difference in leading, managing and controlling people. Oftentimes people get them confused and believe they are being led when in reality they are being controlled. Controlling people create expectations of you where you fall under their accountability, you become responsible to them; and you begin to live according to their ideals and expectations.
3. The person tries to change you. When someone tries to change you it may be blatant or subtle and it is your responsibility to discern between the two. A person who tries to change you will do is slyly with things that seem as coaching when in reality are not. It may be under the guise of a different lifestyle because you are now a Christian when in reality; that is the job of the Holy Spirit to bring about change and not other people. If someone tells you how to dress, wear your hair, who to spend time with; and other things like this it’s time to see it and run fast. Run Forest run!
4. The person has an agenda for you and your life or future. At time of meeting this person your life may not be going in the direction you thought. Well; great news! The person has a perfect life for you- and it just meets his or her agenda. You get involved and your life will become this or that when in reality it probably has nothing to do with what you set out to do for yourself. By the time you realize it; it may be a few years later and you are worse of than you were before you met. If someone has the goal of changing your life for his or her benefit that is not someone you want to follow.
5. The person puts down things you like or don’t like. If things you like or dislike are made fun of it’s a red flag. You do not have to like what everyone else likes and if a leader or spiritual mentor attempts to change what you like in the name of whatever religion that person is following it is not right. What happens to those following such leaders is that they start second guessing what they actually like; lose their identity, and then become lost people with no ability to think for themselves. It’s a great position to get people in for the leader because people with no identity or ability to think for themselves are much easier to control.
6. The person isolates you. If you change all of your friends in your life because they are not on the same page as the direction you are going; rethink it. Rethink it especially if it’s unanimous of all of your friends. Someone who attempts to remove those closest to your life is only gaining more power and control over you by mind controlling you to think that your friends are just not with the program and are not going where you are. Duh. No one is going right where you are because your life path was already made for you and no two people have the exact same life path; twins included. Isolation from friends and family is a control tactic so be wise to it.
7. The person steals your identity and value. If you begin to lose who you are, the things you like and enjoy that is a problem. If you are around someone who mocks what you eat and where, how you style your hair, your wardrobe choices or even what you do for a living; run. If someone tells you that the changes you are going through are normal and when you are finished you will be who you are; run. You were created in the image of God and no man has any authority to change that-unless you give it up. Don’t. Changing who you are is an insult to God.
8. The person is the only authority in the group. If your spiritual mentor, adviser, pastor; etc. etc. is the only authority and one allowed to speak that’s a red flag. It’s a control of information and the person in charge is the only one with it. When people start bowing down to one person as the leader and all knowing it is not right!
9. The person keeps group members isolated from one another. If members of the group, study, etc. are not encouraged to spend time together it’s a red flag. Why? Because they will talk and if they talk- who knows what will be talked about. When people are isolated from one another the only contact would be from each person to the leader and not person to person.
10. The person has no fruit in his or her life. Look at who you are following. Where is the fruit? Does that person walk in love? Forgiveness? How does that person treat his or her spouse? How does that person treat others? Is the person a racist? What are the relationships of that person like? Is there fruit in the family and friends? If there is no fruit then there is a reason. While the reason may not ever be your business the fact that there is no fruit is all you need to know.
Spiritual abuse is something that is more common than people think. Those who are unsuspecting get themselves into situations that they didn’t even realize and before it happens to you- take note. Be wise and discerning and pray for wisdom daily and then apply what you learn. After all; it may be save your life.
When people have been abused by religion, their pastors; or their church there are many lessons to learn. Spiritual abuse requires forgiveness on numerous levels. Many don’t see it; and most don’t know it’s occurred to them.
Every single person who has victory over spiritual abuse has a testimony. Those testimonies are nothing to be ashamed of but rather celebrated because there is victory in all things. It’s a matter of perspective and your victory may be just what the person on the subway next to you is needing to hear about. The lessons are many and I begin with a few simple ones:
1. Forgive. Forgive the spiritual abuser and forgive yourself. Both are lessons that are needed to be learned and master so not to be repeated.
2. Know the Word. Your pastor may say this or that; but so what? If what that pastor is not lining up with the Word of God and you follow it; you are in trouble and in more ways than you think. Your life is your responsibility. Knowing the Word helps you spot counterfeits or the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
3. Stand up for Yourself. Don’t allow someone to control you in any way; especially with the misuse of scripture. If you are not sure what the intentions are; ask. Then pay attention to the answer spoken and ‘not’ spoken. The answer is always there it’s a matter of paying attention to it.
By walking in wisdom you will far better than being ignorant following someone who may or may not have a clue, your best interest; or a personal hidden agenda. You, my dear reader, are the only one responsible for your actions and life so don’t be swayed by the ideas and thoughts of others if they are not lining up with the Word. You certainly will be glad you did!
When people have been abused by religion, their pastors; or their church there are many lessons to learn. Spiritual abuse requires forgiveness on numerous levels. Many don’t see it; and most don’t know it’s occurred to them.
Every single person who has victory over spiritual abuse has a testimony. Those testimonies are nothing to be ashamed of but rather celebrated because there is victory in all things. It’s a matter of perspective and your victory may be just what the person on the subway next to you is needing to hear about. The lessons are many and I begin with a few simple ones:
1. Forgive. Forgive the spiritual abuser and forgive yourself. Both are lessons that are needed to be learned and master so not to be repeated.
2. Know the Word. Your pastor may say this or that; but so what? If what that pastor is not lining up with the Word of God and you follow it; you are in trouble and in more ways than you think. Your life is your responsibility. Knowing the Word helps you spot counterfeits or the wolf in sheep’s clothing.
3. Stand up for Yourself. Don’t allow someone to control you in any way; especially with the misuse of scripture. If you are not sure what the intentions are; ask. Then pay attention to the answer spoken and ‘not’ spoken. The answer is always there it’s a matter of paying attention to it.
By walking in wisdom you will far better than being ignorant following someone who may or may not have a clue, your best interest; or a personal hidden agenda. You, my dear reader, are the only one responsible for your actions and life so don’t be swayed by the ideas and thoughts of others if they are not lining up with the Word. You certainly will be glad you did!
Next up: Forgiveness in Spiritual Abuse: The Signs of Spiritual Abuse