People and society will always have an opinion; whether a good one or not is really not relevant. It’s moreso the fact that others think that they have your life figured out when in reality they can’t even function in their own lives.
American society will always try to change you by telling you what you ‘should’ do. The media does it and people don’t get it. There once was a time when the purpose of the media was to report the news; those days are gone. According to the Agenda Setting Theory it was tell people what to think about; now it’s what to think. Now the media just makes the news instead because people are proving incapable of making decisions for themselves. Perhaps you live in Ukraine or Israel and experience the same thing. It probably happens to us all.
And so it goes you have been deceived. You probably have been told what you should wear for the next season. Oh yes if you live in Italy it’s just your custom be so well dressed; whether you feel like it or not. You have been told what car you should drive; what neighborhood you should live in. You probably have been told that by now you should at least be married, if not already divorced with three kids you never wanted in the first place. Oh and you should have at least a BA or BS but in today’s world you really should think about getting that MBA if you expect to go anywhere in your career.
Yep. I heard it all. I heard all the should’s known to man. I dated the man who actually told me, ‘You should dress like her, talk like her, and wear your hair like her. Then you would be beautiful.’ You should have seen his face when I walked out and never looked back. And don’t tell me I should have; unless it was just to see the look on his face. But I already knew.
So it begs the question: are you living the life you should be living? Or are you living the life others think you should be living? It’s a tough question I know. I once was there. I had the Bible teacher tell me that at age 37 I should have a teenager because that is where I ‘should’ have been. There is a systematic order to how life goes you see. Yeah sure. I see the misery on the faces of all the people who followed what others said they should do. It goes the way it is supposed to go for each of us and it’s only until we stop the should’s that we can be free.
If you are trapped into living what others think stop. Forgive yourself and do it quick. God has a plan specifically for you. Jerermiah 29:11 makes it very clear: ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Your plan is for you and you alone. If you don’t know it- get with God. Going to man to ask questions only God can answer makes no sense!
You don’t want to live for others who aren’t even living it out for themselves. That doesn’t even make sense. You are where you are and while it may not be where you want to be; you are the one to change that. No one else. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap that thinking the boring house in the suburbs will answer all your questions when in actuality you are miserable but just biting your tongue waiting to escape. Forgive yourself for not being true to who you were created to be. Life is short so don’t let another day go by where you think about what you should do instead of just doing it.
We all are where we are and the best part is that no one else can get you where you should be except for you. So today; where do you want to go? Where do you want to go that you know you should have gone back then? Write it down. Habakkuk 2 is clear ‘“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets.’ Do it! There is nothing stopping you; no more could’s or should’s. Just you. Get out of your way, forgive, and get to where you are going! You can do it. How do I know? Because I did.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Being a parent is not easy; yet being a child is not. Any parent can attest to that while every child probably can as well. When as children we do not recognize that while parents make mistakes; they are merely doing what they know how to do. Does it make it right? Of course not! The catch is that if you don’t see this; the resentment towards what you did or didn’t get a child will eat you alive. So what do you? Forgive. Sure sounds easy right? I won’t lie- forgiving my biological mother was the hardest thing I had to do; next to honoring her because the Bible commands it.
The problem that I had was that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. I was the victim; literally. My mother told me she was going to get pizza and never came back. I was then placed in a foster home for two years and then adopted into an abusive home. My adoptive parents placed me in a homeless shelter at age 15. The events of my life were because of the choice one person. Her. And I hated her for it. I hated her for what she had done but also I hated her for what she stole from me; my childhood.
It’s not to say that my adoptive parents didn’t provide; but if you are child needing love you need love. You don’t need to be locked in a room with doors on the outside. You need love.
And so I carried that hatred and resentment for so long; decades really. Then in 2006 NYE I forgave my biological and adoptive mother. I forgave them for all the things that they did; abandonment, rejection, the abuse, the neglect and more. Every single ounce I forgave! I had to and perhaps you are in a place of needing to.
After that I sent letters to both of them claiming my victory in forgiveness! No longer would they control me from afar. My biological mother called me and said she loved me and was happy for me. I drove to Houston to take her to lunch. She gave her life to Jesus.
My adoptive mother replied telling me she didn’t realize the pain she caused me. Now; how a parent couldn’t see that is beyond most but not really relevant. She apologized for the first time in my life and whether or not she knew the impact is between her and God. The only thing I was to do was forgive.
The catch is that I thought that was it. I forgave. Move on right? Well; not exactly. Not even close.
As I started building a relationship with my biological mother I started to resent her. The more I learned from being around her the less I liked her; the more I wanted to break away from her. The more I saw her behavior patterns the more soul ties I wanted to get rid of. I wanted to be nothing like her and wanted nothing from her. I resented her because now I was placed in taking care of her when I was the child. I was the victim all over again and I resented that too.
I resented the fact that of all the people in the world ‘she’ was my mother. I resented the fact that she hasn’t drive a car since 1972. I resented the fact that I had to buy her clothes, pay her cell phone bill, but her groceries; and essentially take care of all of her needs outside of her rent. And I resented it. I resented the fact that when she called me she would ask more about my dog than me. I resented the fact that when I asked questions about my biological father she would change the subject. In other words; pretty much everything about her I resented. Perhaps you look at your parents and you feel the same way. Nothing they do is to the level of what they should have done. Nothing from them is what you needed or need and so you resent them. And you can justify it. The catch is that you justifying your resentment doesn’t make you right; it will only make you bitter. And by the way; everyone loves my mom which made me resent her even more! Go figure!
As I went deeper in prayer and study of forgiveness and all of its symptoms; which by the way my count is at 37, I learned that resentment while of course attached to forgiveness yet separate is something that when understood through forgiveness will change you. What I started doing was actually walking in forgiveness. The things my mother did and still does are part of her. The things about her that I didn’t like where part of me.
Once I truly started walking in forgiveness my heart changed. You see; forgiveness yes is an event or act, but it is also a process. Each process toward each act of forgiveness is a process within. That revelation changed me. I just kept forgiving. The more I focused on truly understanding forgiveness and kept doing it; the rest started changing too. I started seeing the beauty in my mother. I started seeing for the first time why people like her and why they like her so much. The whole thing was ‘my’ issue! It was my issue that really had nothing to do with her; but my heart and issue with God.
Parents are parents and children are children. When I learned and understood that my mother was too a victim and she was just doing what she learned from her parents who did the same; it sank in. And who was I to judge her? That judgment would stick with me and not her and who really has time for that?
The resentment is gone and forgiveness reigns between us. My mother is brilliant! She is in the second round of testing to be on Jeopardy and my prayer is that she would be blessed to appear on that program since it is her favorite. My other prayer is that on this day you would forgive your parents for the things you didn’t get that you wanted, and the things you did get that you didn’t want. I pray in the name of Jesus that you allow forgiveness to fill your heart and that you continue to forgive and that you remove the resentment and even all the bitterness so that you can love and honor your parents as the Bible commands. Your days will be lengthened for your obedience. Don’t die before your time because of disobedience. You have too much to do!
The best news is that not only is there forgiveness and love instead of resentment and hate; but a new relationship with more lives changed. You see you have the power to choose how you influence others. I learned that the changes in my life would be changes in my mom’s life would be changes in other’s lives. And that weighs so much more in the big scheme of things.
The lives changed are on the increase without a doubt. My biological mother, Mary, now guest hosts the first Saturday of the month with me on ‘Living in Forgiveness’ where we talk about family issues and help others get rid of the internal clutter; unforgiveness and resentment being the first to do!
So where ever you are or whatever you are doing; living in forgiveness will change your life and that of your parents more than you realize. Don’t late the day or time slip by without making the choice to simply forgive.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live at www.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things in life for people to do. There are a myriad of reasons why but most importantly; the main reason is self. Yep. Self gets in the way. Overcoming yourself to get to a place of forgiveness will change your life and those around you.
You see; most of society is all about self and self focus. Some are even known to have books of selfies with one for each day. And all of us should be so pleased right? Again; all about self. Yet when we break it down to its core; forgiveness isn’t about self at all. It’s about getting over self to live another way.
Forgiveness is a command. Period. The Word doesn’t read or say to forgive if you ‘feel’ like it. I know it’s a shock to learn but true. If you want the Lord to forgive you then it’s up to you to make up your mind to forgive others for what they have done; else you are the one suffering the consequences of your chosen disobedience. As it goes with anything; it’s your choice. So long as you are more focused on you than living as one should if you claim to be a Christian then your life will reflect it and not in a good way. I
When you make the choice to get over yourself to come to a place of forgiveness you will see that it is much more about how you feel. God doesn’t really operate in ‘how you feel’. He just doesn’t. And neither should we. This is why we have to get over ourselves and do what is commanded and not live by our feelings. Your feelings will probably misguide you on any level. All one has to do is either look in a mirror or closet and see what feelings have led to right?
If you want true peace in your life forgive those who have wronged you. They probably haven’t a clue! They are just like you in that you too have probably hurt others and were not aware. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made as who are you to hold judgment against yourself? Forgive society for causing such a selfish and narcissistic society in the first place if you must! Regardless; make sure that you do lay yourself down and forgive. Don’t harbor it or all
Forgiveness is not easy; just ask anyone. I know forgiving my biological mother for abandoning me was not easy. You have your story and my guess is that your story of forgiveness or the one you are working on is a work in progress. The one commonality is that we all experience hurt. Kerri Rawson is no different. Or is she? You may ask who she is and I share this: Kerri Rawson is a daughter of Dennis Radar. Who is Dennis Radar? The notorious BTK killer. Killer forgiveness for such a day as yet another Friday the 13th.
BTK is simplistic terms is Blind. Torture. Kill. That is what Dennis Radar before his daughter Kerri was born. He is known to have killed 10 people between 1974 and 1991. The manner in which is performed each act is something that no one would ever want to experience; much less want to learn of as a family member. BTK murdered the Oteros – a mom, a dad and two children, ages 11 and 9. BTK tortured victims and sexually defiled several. He even took one person’s body inside Christ Lutheran Church, where he was congregation president. Yes- he was the congregation president!
And so when we look at people, life; and the level of forgiveness required to even get through life one may ask is it even possible? And then one may ask: who is worthy?
People make mistakes. We all do. Some steal paper clips while others have abortions, some cheat; and others commit a few murders. Yet all are guilty in the eyes of the Lord until repentance. Acts 3:19 tells us, ‘19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, 20 and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you–even Jesus.’ The first step is repentance.
When one does acts that are deemed unforgivable in the eyes of man it leaves those with things in their minds as this from Dennis Radar in a recent letter from prison to The Eagle on January 26,2015, “I gave up years ago hoping that someone would forgive me and understand.” Perhaps this is you. Perhaps you are in a place where you have done something so horrific that you have given up. There is hope for you too!
And so it goes in the hearts of man that forgiveness changes lives. The question is though: are you allowing your unforgiveness to change your life? For Kerri she says this to her father:
“I have come to terms with what happened with you and laid it to rest. I am never going to understand it but I forgive you.
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to make it for a visit but know that I love you and hope to see you in heaven some day.”
After that letter to her father, Kerri changed. She said that before she forgave him she thought of herself as BTK’s daughter but after that she saw herself as Kerri.
Who have you become by the sins of the others? Are you allowing what they have done be your identity? It ruled Kerri and for good reason. She was and is the daughter of one of the most notorious serial killers and has to live with that. Now she does in freedom because his sins are not hers. They simply aren’t.
When you reach the point of revelation that forgiveness is there and you show your strength your life will change. If you are a follower of Christ; forgiveness is not an option but a command from the Lord. It starts with repentance and when you understand the importance of it you will see that it’s not a game. It’s not anything to brush off; not ever. Even if it is killer forgiveness.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas, NJ &NY 2/5pmCST on the UANetwork. To watch previous episodes check out:http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
If you pay close attention to what is currently going on in society; you may notice much that is different than in previous generations. Instead of moving forward in love and forgiveness; our society appears to be disintegrating at a higher rate. Until we understand that our individual and collective level of forgiveness impacts future generations we are all doomed to repeat it.
In the recent situation of the OU fraternity boys singing racists songs; outcry is yet again the theme song. Is it right for people to behave in a way that diminishes anyone? Of course not! People everywhere have opinions and none can escape this. Whether someone is or is not a racist; is not a crime. It really isn’t. What it also isn’t is cancer. Nope. It is not cancer. It is a heart condition. Simple as that. And when we get this we can start moving forward to the ‘real’ issue.
See; the kids on the bus said they were singing a song they were taught. Sad; but true. It was taught somewhere. So it begs the question; what have you been taught? Taught to love all? Or taught to love those like you? Taught to hate? We all have been taught something in our lives and until we truly look in the mirror and see ourselves and focus on what it is we have been taught- we won’t know exactly what it is we are teaching our children who will be teaching their children and their children’s children.
And so in society; we have a media who just loves stories that propagate all the hate, riots, slander; and unforgiveness because that is obviously what sells. If it didn’t they wouldn’t exist. But it is just blame the media? Of course not. You can turn off your television and live another way! You my dear friend and reader; have the power. You do! When you recognize this you can be the change. Until you do though; you can’t be.
Our future generations are in need. They are in need of being taught that love and forgiveness is the way of life. Jesus died on the cross and as He was He said, ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ and how sad that we are still proving today that we don’t have a clue. How sad that we have young kids who in all their ignorance sing songs about people based upon color. And then how sad is it that those same kids and their families get death threats because of it. Those with a heart condition need love not hate and death threats! And until we see that we need to clean our own hearts individually and collectively; how can we help those who are going to need it to raise up their own future generations?
The Word tells us in 2Tim 3: “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires,7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected.9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
There is no getting around God. There is no living one way while proclaiming another because what is in the heart comes out the mouth so it reads in Proverbs. What lies of people were you taught growing up that have distorted your thinking? What lies do you need to rebuke to walk in love and forgiveness? What heart condition do you need free from to live your life freely loving as Jesus did? Find out today and make the changes. It won’t even cost you a co-pay. It’s a simple time of self-reflection and adjustment to ensure that what you are doing is for the good of those who are watching, needing and following you. You have a responsibility to others and more to yourself. Don’t allow your level of unforgiveness to be what others are living out; because as we can see with the kids on the bus from OU; that is what they have done.
For more about forgiveness watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ on Saturdays at 2/3pmST. For previous episodes watch here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Parents are people. They make mistakes and it typically isn’t until a child is grown that the ways of parents are truly revealed for what they are. Forgiving parents when they don’t necessarily deserve it is hard. I know first hand exactly how difficult it is. Forgiveness of parents who don’t do right by their children is not an easy task. With this said; it is a requirement if one wants to live a life in freedom and obedience to Christ.
The latest situation of the impact of unforgiveness is that of bride to be Alexis who univited her parents to her wedding. The issue isn’t the uninviting someone to a wedding as I’m sure it happens on occasions more than we know. It isn’t about what occurred in the past that led up to it. It isn’t about judgment of the parents or even Alexis. No. This is much bigger than this. It is about a heart condition that kills many more than AIDS, Cancer; or any other disease combined that goes undetected or talked about. This is about unforgiveness that lays its foundation in a child that never leaves until dealt with. And this is where many adult children are today; living in and with the disease of unforgiveness.
How do I know? I was much like Alexis who suffered physical abuse and ran away several times as a youth. I suffered things as a child that no child should. I was abandoned by my biological mother left to a foster home; and my adoptive parents put me in a homeless shelter before I could drive. I know the pain of what parents can do to a child and I know the results of living with unforgiveness. I too know the outcome of living in forgiveness.
You see; we all have a choice. I held much anger toward the actions of my adoptive parents. I held them accountable in my adult years for the love that I so wanted as a child but never received. I carried it all with me along with the impact. I did it until I forgave. And that was decades later.
When I forgave my adoptive parents I learned something that most children never seem to learn. Parents are people. They make mistakes. They can only do what they know how to do. This does not mean it’s correct nor does it even mean that it is what the child even needs. But it is what they do. I learned this ‘after’ I forgave.
Many in the blogosphere are calling Alexis a hero among other accolades. Whatever you deem her is your business but what she is most is a child of parents who made mistakes. When we harbor bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness toward our parents for those mistakes; we are the ones who miss out on living our real futures. Our actions simply reveal it.
If you have been ever been hurt by your parents you are not alone. If you parents are narcissistic; don’t think they are the only ones. If your parents abused you physically, emotionally or sexually; you my dear friend are not alone. It happens much more than any of us realize but get this: until your heart changes nothing changes.
Forgiveness will change your life. Your future is not about what your parents did to you; unless you want to continue to live that lifestyle. Take it from me you don’t. It sucks the life out of you. Building a future on hate from what others have done is no way to build a life, a future; or marriage with future children involved.
On this day; forgive. Forgive your parents for not being what you expected them to be. Forgive your parents for the rejection, abandonment, neglect, badgering, bullying; hurting you physically, emotionally and sexually and all the other things that they did to you. Simply forgive them. It doesn’t matter if they knew what they were doing as it’s not about them. Not anymore; that is unless you wish to live as an unforgiver. It is about you and your future.
When you forgive you will live in a different way. When I forgave my adoptive mother it was the first time I ever heard an apology. She wrote that she never knew the impact of the pain she caused me. Many may question how one cannot think physical abuse hurts but that is irrelevant. She apologized and my only requirement was to forgive her. The rest is between her and God. That is it. And through that I see that parents are just parents. And they; like you I-need forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a process. It is a journey and no two journeys, people or situations are alike. As such the process of forgiveness is as unique as the person in the situation forgiving and being forgiven. Where most people fall off track is the recognition that forgiveness is a process. It takes time and persistence; not just lip service. Anyone can say they forgive yet still exhibit the more than 30 symptoms that are evident in unforgiveness. Forgiveness goes deep and when you are willing to go deeper than you ever have before; you will gain and live that victorious life you were created to live.
To understand the depth of forgiveness requires recognition of forgiveness and the need for it in the first place. Forgiveness is an act; something that one does. It is not passive. It is not something that just happens because you thought about it once back in Vietnam. It is active and depending upon the act needing forgiveness; it can take longer than one realizes.
In my life I thought I forgave. I told myself I did; for more than 3 decades. It wasn’t until those with the gift of discernment that spoke truth to me and I realized the truth. I deceived myself. I had not forgiven. In fact I didn’t even know what forgiveness was! It was time for me to get real and deal with myself; my unforgiveness. It was a process and more on that but rest assured it was a process. It will be for you too but moving through the process is part of the victory. Starting somewhere to accept that it is something you need to do is the first step.
Accept that forgiveness is a process. It is your journey to internal peace and freedom. It begins with you making the choice to not allow what someone has done to you to rule your life. It is perhaps crying about the pain and allowing the release to come. It is maybe even getting mad or even angry about what happened. It is what it is but rest assured forgiveness is a process. Let it be yours today.
Forgiveness is something that impacts every single living person; regardless of anything. It doesn’t matter socioeconomic status, age, gender, marital status; nothing matters. Forgiveness impacts. Where forgiveness begins too has impact. The question is where does forgiveness begin?
Forgiveness begins in the mind. You see; forgiveness is a choice. Where do you make any choice in your day? Your mind. Sure you may feel something in your heart but regardless of what you ‘feel’ you still make the choice in your mind. The choice to purchase the fabulous pumps, eat this or that; exercise or not exercise all begin in the mind. Adam and Eve were faced with a choice to be obedient and eat from the tree. They didn’t have to make that choice; but they did. They made the choice in their mind. They knew what they should do but again; they made a choice. The wrong choice. And that was conceived in their minds.
So what is in your mind? How do you make decisions? What is the level of forgiveness that you want to achieve in your life? What is the choice that you are going to make when it comes to forgiveness?Are you going to allow how you ‘feel’ be what you live? Are your emotions ruling you? It’s not like most people want to forgive the pain that others caused; but know that it is the strong who forgive. Are you strong? Make the choice to be strong and let your mind be the residing factor of that. After all; it is where forgiveness begins.
The holidays bring cheer for many; however, there are those that detest them and for good reason. That was me. Holiday forgiveness was something that I definitely was in need of. I had the wrong perspective, attitude and heart toward them. I was hurt and my hurt kept hurting me. Is this you? Is it time to see the holidays through other lenses? Do you need some simple holiday forgiveness to set you free?
Let me share. The holidays are a time for family; sure we can agree. When you don’t have that you can focus on that and be down as most people tend to get. For many years I was down. I was out. I was bloody pathetic. I also worked in the mall and hated all those happy families buying all those gifts. I hated it all. I loathed Christmas. I’m just being honest. I was alone and I let everyone know my pain just seeking an ounce of pity; which just revealed how utterly pitiful I really was. I saw what I didn’t have and that became my focus. Are you letting it become yours? It will if you let it.
As the years went by I became accustomed to being alone on the holidays. I started watching people with their families and then it hit me; so many are faking it! I saw it. As I saw that I was shocked as to how many people started sharing their stories of the holidays and how blessed I was to be alone! Who would have thought being alone could be a blessing? The more stories I heard the more I saw them different. The more drowning in sorrows the others were that I hadn’t seen before. If you are alone have no fear- there are wonderful things about being alone on the holidays! Just ask one person shuffling through the mall or the grocery store and look at the exasperation covering their faces and you will see. It will take less than a minute.
The most ironic thing was that after being alone I met my biological family. I was introduced to entirely new traditions with an entirely new family; that was my own family. Live through that! They are amazing people without a doubt it was just a transition going from one family and their traditions, to just me and my own; to something entirely different with other people. But such is life. Holiday forgiveness.
As I started studying the Bible and the real story of Christmas I experienced yet another change. The truth opened my eyes to what people are blinded by. The tree, the lights, the gifts, the time of year Jesus was born compared to what is celebrated. Christmas then became something I had no interest in celebrating. Why would I? It’s not even Biblical but shhh….. don’t tell anyone. Or perhaps you already know. I reflected back on the first time a Jejhovah Witness told me that he was just lucky I didn’t have a baseball bat as I really did just want to hit him; but that is how religion blinds people from the truth. It bound me. But the best news is that Jesus didn’t die so that I could have a religion! Then I learned something else that was surprising! Did you know that Christmas used to be outlawed in America? Yes. It was considered an introduction to gluttony therefore it was outlawed. I started seeing Christmas and the celebration entirely different. If you do your own research you may too. Again; holiday forgiveness.
And today marks yet another holiday season where I am not making 9 different types of candy and 15 different kinds of cookies for 150 people. It marks another year where I am not frantically freaking out over what to buy someone who won’t even appreciate it. It marks another year where I am able to celebrate the day in peace and quiet and not live in debt or expectation of being what others believe I should be because they haven’t yet done their research. And I must say there is freedom in that. Holiday forgiveness.
So if you are feeling lonely or down and out; let it go. Forgive those who have passed on in your life for not being there to celebrate with you. Forgive yourself for trying to live up to expectations of those who aren’t even enjoying what they are trying to live up to. Forgive the stores for manipulating you into buying into all the shopping. Forgive your religion for continuing to perpetuate a lie that has kept you in bondage. Holiday forgiveness.
Celebrate the holiday season as one. One person you are with an impact. One person you are with a mission. One person you are with all the time in the world to celebrate a day without any interruptions with Jesus because most are too busy celebrating church. One person you are who has the power to create and mold your special day to be whatever you want. One person you are to get that jump start on your next dreams and goals. One person you are to see that one day out of the year that people freak out over is not worth it. One person you are with the ability to a blessing to those who need you. One person you to celebrate holiday forgiveness.
Regardless of times there always seems to be another woman for many. Even in the Bible Rahab was known to be the other woman so it shouldn’t be surprising that women haven’t changed much. Forgiving the other woman provides challenges without a doubt. While we could all blame the other woman it may surprise you to learn that women are at the brink out out-cheating men. It’s a wake-up call that if you are not taking care of your spouse someone else is. Now does this mean all people cheat. Of course not! Those who come out saying men were not created to be monogamous are just revealing their character. Those who do know what it means to be faithful and remain that way are revealing their character as well. 57% of men and 54% of women have admitted to infidelity at some point in their lives. The average length of an affair is 2 years years. The percentage of marriages that survive infidelity is 31. ( http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/) This means that the odds for success are not in your favor! So it begs the question: what are you doing to protect your marriage? What are you doing to take care of your spouse? What are you doing period? It’s clear there is a war on marriage and that other people truly do not care if you are or are not married as in reality; if they did care an ounce about anyone but themselves they wouldn’t go after a spouse in the first place. Again their character is revealed. If you are a position of learning about the ‘other woman’ here are some things to help you go through the forgiving process. 1. Realize she may not know about you. The other woman may honestly not know of your existence! It’s not like many men are going to meet a woman and introduce themselves as married with children and then ask for an affair. The other woman truly may be as much a victim as his lies as you the wife may be. Of course there are those woman who do know but don’t get too upset and revengeful toward the other woman when she just may not have a clue. Forgive her for being what she is an move on. You have bigger fish to fry! 2. The other woman is not your problem. The other woman in your marriage is not your problem; your husband is. If he is having an affair then he brought her into your marriage. Period. Getting angry with the other woman won’t resolve your marital issues and in some cases; may create more. Your vows and marriage are between you and your husband; not the other woman. When women get sidetracked by the other women they don’t see the real situation at hand. The real situation is that there were problems in your marriage before there was an affair. Again; that has nothing to do with the other woman. Forgive her and get down to taking care of your marriage and family. Remember a house divided cannot stand. 3. She is not worth it. She is well; the other woman. She isn’t you. She isn’t the mother of your husband’s children. She isn’t respectable. She isn’t worth your grief. Why? Because you are a better woman than that to give time to such nonsense when you have a husband and marriage that needs to be your first priority. See; all too often women spend more time and energy being angry and revengeful toward the other woman instead of starting at the starting point. What caused your husband to cheat in the first place? Of course it was his decision but understand that both of you are in your marriage and cheating really isn’t the problem. Cheating is a symptom of the problem! Cheating has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else! If you want to keep your spouses eyes only for you then ask yourself today:”Am I doing what I need to do to take care of my marriage?” And then make changes from there. Don’t live not forgiving the other woman when you have more that needs your attention.