You are Enough
The world we live in has changed. Society is distorted. There is no way around this. You know it’s distorted that one in state a woman can get an abortion legally all the while a 64oz soda is not allowed. Society and its rules have just changed. The impact proves devastation for many. Regardless of what societal changes are; my friend you are enough. Take one look the mirror and speak to yourself today. I challenge you.
Right where you are stop for a moment and reflect on that. You are enough. The way you are is enough. You truly have all that you need for it is written that His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him. What this means is that you don’t have to strive to be something you are not!
You don’t have to go and prove to others that you are worthy of their love. You are already loved! No need to beg for roses with His love. You don’t have to strive to be skinnier as society doesn’t have a cap on that one either. The good news is that you don’t have to kill yourself trying to make more money to buy that fancy car to impress people that you can’t impress because they are too busy trying to impress you. You just don’t.
There will never be anything in society that will tell you that you are tall enough, wealthy enough, big breasted enough, intelligent enough, pretty enough; or anything enough. Never ever.
Cosmetics companies would not exist with campaigns that you are beautiful without their makeup. Muscle building companies would not exist if they had advertisements telling you that your small muscles were enough to get chics.
Nothing in society will ever want you to think you are enough. Following society is a trap. It’s tiring, exhausting, lonely at times. It is more than a conqueror to stealing who you are, your value; your soul. And you my friends; are more than conquerors. You are worth more than the hours you give trying your best to find time to post all the tweets and facebook stuff that the so called business experts require. You are more than the tears you weep from the time not spent with your children. You are more than the 10lbs you want to lose in time for spring. You are worth more than what is being robbed from you.
The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. He is ever so sly in his inner workings. Be strong. Get strong and know that you are more than a conqueror. You are His and through that-you have all the value you will ever need.
It’s something worth repeating: you are accepted. You are good enough right where you are; muffin top and all. I say this because it’s incredible how much in our society people are searching. Searching for that one thing to make them more well; accepted. The search for love on television shows; hoping that one guy or gal they meet and spend 3 hours with will want them. The search for 5,000 facebook fake friends to add to the mix, the drinking group that just accepts you becaues you can handle more tequilla shots than the next person. You can search everywhere for acceptance or you can accept that you are accepted and good enough right where you sit. You don’t even need a Mac!
There is no need to go about life trying to change who you are. It won’t work. It can’t. Those that would accepte you based upon the fake you will eventually see the truth and then what? You are starting your search over again seeking elsewhere for that acceptance that doesn’t exist.
You don’t need to beg for roses, have sex on the first date; or drink yourself into oblivion to impress others who are drunk. You just don’t. You don’t have to have bigger muscles or better car either. See; Jesus doesn’t care about any of that. He is much wiser to see the core of who you. the best part? He loves you despite of your shortcomings.
It took me a long time to get to a place of 1) accepting Jesus, 2) accepting the fact that He already accepted me, 3) accepting myself. I had no idea what that meant at the time. I only knew that what I was doing wasn’t working. How about you? Are you tired of searching? Are you tired of being where you are? Perhaps is the day you try something new. Perhaps today is your day to believe and receive. Perhaps today is a new day where you see just how accepted you truly are.
It’s inevitable that you will make a mistake in your life. I am proof of this as I make them daily; some larger than others. I am not perfect. The question is how do you hand it? What do you do in such a situation?
There are many lessons to be learned in handling how to make mistakes; but more importantly is the reflection of the lessons learned. If you never learn the lesson then where do you go? What would be the point? The pattern would only continue and what would that prove besides you are merely capable of repeating the same mistake. If you are one who has never made a mistake then perhaps I can learn something from you.
Bottom line is that we all make mistakes. There is no way around this; at least for me. How about you? The biggest lesson you can learn and the biggest thing you can do for yourself is to apologize for it and then forgive yourself. While it may be humbling it is part of life and the quicker way you can get going is to get on with it. If you don’t you will only live with more regret and turmoil than before you made the mistake in the first place.
Today is still Valentine’s Day; for a little while longer. Should you be one who is out celebrating good on ya mate!
If you are single without a date or anything else; have no fear. You are still loved by the One who always has loved you before you could even comprehend it.
Now earlier today a great friend of mine made the comment that her husband who is from another country commented on the fact that American holidays are expensive for an American man. Hmm. Never thought of this way. Yes of course there is always that expectation that men woo their women on Valentine’s Day although I have to say I am an equal opportunist- any day is just fine with me. No need to wait for one day and the media and the retailers to help that one along. Just saying.
Now the oldest surviving Valentine was written by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife in 1415. Now isn’t that special? I’m sure he didn’t write it with the purposed of needing to have a #Valentine twitter account following for it it either. It was pure gesture in love. Where have those days gone?
Now we have come to 142 million cards will be shared this year with over 1200 styles to choose from. No in and out on this one folks!
The average customer is expected to spend $213 this year on this one day. Today 233 million roses for Valentine’s Day could wrap around the earth 3.8 times when laid end to end. The average cost of a dozen long-stem roses is $63, but jumps to $80 this time of year. Because that’s not a scam.
The price for dinner is averaged to be $83 and the increase in condom sales according to Durex is 20%. I’m guessing that men are making this purchase too.
More than 707 million dollars worth of candy is purchased on Valentine’s Day. That’s about 127 million pounds, or, the weight of six Eiffel Towers. That includes 4 million pounds of Necco Sweethearts. Roughly 100,000 are produced per day in the six weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day. This year, the big spender can impress his date with solid-gold Sweethearts for less than $20k!
Now overall; according to the National Retail Federation the average American man will spend $170.00. If he doesn’t he may be spending more time in the dog house!
Overall; it’s a great way for American men to spend money, retailers to mark up flowers that die quickly; and women to enjoy how beautiful they are told they are. It’s all because we need a day to remind us of that. How does that make you feel?
Then what happens tomorrow? The sex is over, the makeup wears off, the hangover kicks in, the kids are crying for new $170.00 sneakers; and the credit card receipts are revealing that in reality you could do the same thing any day of the year and it would cost much less and probably have much more meaning. But hey- it’s all in love for the great Valentine’s Day experience.
Hatred is an evil thing; it always has been and always will be. It never comes out in first place and it never brings peace. It brings with it its nasty cousins of anger, bitterness, resentment; and revenge.
The only way to combat it is with love. Love toward those who hate, love toward those who are bitter, resentful; unforgiving. Love is the only answer. Always. Love prevails.
Such is the case with Phil Robertson and Duck Dynasty. Those who hate Christians are not prevailing; they just aren’t. Those who think that siding with hate is the answer are not winning; they are merely showing their hand of intolerance of others with different opinions. They are showing their ignorance. Cracker Barrel is one who is proving their stance which is a shame. They are showing they are not acting very loving. Of course Phil Robertson has already come out stating he loves his neighbors although that seems to be overlooked. Oh the irony.
The result is being seen. Love wins. Duck Dynasty now has 2 offers on the table from other networks for their show. Daystar and Glenn BeckTv have stepped up to help against the wickedness we are seeing over a 67 year old man with an opinion. Interesting enough those who hate Phil Robertson’s opinion aren’t in danger of losing their jobs. Just watch and see the love prevail. Watch and see.
Hatred came against Chick-fil-A and guess what? Love prevailed. Chick-fil-A locations sold out of all their food before 12pm and still had lines of people coming for support. And even later that night numerous locations were vandalized by those who hate. Why? Why show your hatred through tearing people down? The most ironic thing of all: Chick-fil-A franchise still does almost 1 million more in business than it’s closest competitor McDonald’s. And they’re closed on Sundays!
It’s a lesson we all need to learn. Whether it’s hating those who are Christian, those who are gay, those who are short; or those who are geeks, or overweight it doesn’t matter. Hatred spreads like a cancer to destroy the lives of those who it comes into contact with. Why let it fill your soul? Why let it take over minute by minute? Why get on its bandwagon and show it to the world that it has control over you and just how fast you are dying?
Why not love instead? Why not understand that you are not the only one with an opinion. Why not let go of the fact that you are not the judge of the universe. None of us are. You are not the one who has any right to take away someone else’s opinion, shut down their business; or take away their employment. If no one is doing it to you on this day you should be celebrating; or watch out. Those who hate will come after you if you aren’t careful. I’m sure when it hits you would want someone to come out in love of support of you right? It’s a lesson of thinking about how we treat others and if we would want them to treat us the same way.
You see; I lived a life of hatred so I know what it’s like. It’s not enjoyable, restful or peaceful. It’s endless, relentless; and madness- all the time. It brings nothing good. It can’t. It simply cannot. We can see that with those who are attempting to destroy others in the name of a difference of opinion are not going to be well received in the end. It’s backfiring folks; it always does. When will the picture be clear? Hatred never wins.
God will bring judgement on those He sees fit when He sees it fit to do so. He always does. But in the meantime if each one of us does our part to recognize that loving our neighbor is the only way we will get much further. When we recognize that what we all are guilty of having opinions but we love anyway; we will prevail. When we recognize that we have to love ourselves in order to love others; it will be amazing what we can accomplish. It’s the recent events of tearing a family down that is only show us just how far we still have to go. Perhaps that should be the largest new years resolution people make. Love. Simple love.
The holidays are known to bring three things to people: cheer, stress; and sadness. If you see the holidays in a different light perhaps hope can be added to list.
For many who have families it’s a time of gathering and enjoyment. Cheer is among them. Sometimes you want to just trip them in all their happiness; although it wouldn’t matter because they are just happy. It’s a shame that it isn’t like that every day of the year and that it boils down to this one day but I digress.
The stress of the holidays is something that is quite fascinating to me. Christmas comes the same day each year so it’s not like people don’t have time to plan. It’s no surprise that it’s on the calendar and while it may seem that it comes quicker each year; does it? Maybe implementing a better plan in July would be of help to alleviate the stress so that life can be more cheerful. Maybe? Or maybe it’s just the stress that is part of the holiday celebration. If that is the case you can have it!
Lastly; the sadness that is evident everywhere is something that can’t not be discussed. There are many who have no one, family is far away; finances are tight; the weather is as cold as the hearts of passersby. I could go on but you get the idea. It makes sense that this would be a time that many would prefer to sleep through with a bottle of gin. I certainly get it.
You see; I experienced time in my life being the outsider. I was placed in a homeless shelter at age 15 and nothing I knew was the same. I was in a place in the world where I was alone. Alone. Alone for many years on the inside. And guess what? I survived! And you will too!
I met my biological family years later and it was an adjustment without a doubt. Each family and person has their own ideas of the holidays and they all bring their own expectations to the table. This- is the largest problem. Having an expectation of what something should be when it’s not what it is is only a set up for failure. I lived it. I created something in my mind to be what I thought would make me happy and guess what? When others didn’t meet my expectation of it I was not happy. Go figure.
If this is you make this Christmas a good one. You don’t have to have a bunch of stressed out family members to enjoy the holiday. You just don’t. You don’t have to focus on the loss of family members for the 10th year when you could be celebrating instead the life you had with them. Life goes on and living in the past doesn’t help you go forward.
You don’t have to bask in racking up more debt for gifts for people you don’t want to buy for or can’t afford. You just don’t. It’s a scam. Why spend the next year paying off debts that need not be?
You don’t have to live in hopelessness because you think you are alone. You are not. There is One who is with you regardless of whether you want to acknowledge Him. He is there and He always has been. It took me a very long time to grasp that. Once I did my life changed.
For you there is hope. There is hope for a future. There is hope for magnificent brightness in your life. Christmas is but is one day that comes and goes and if you really do your research you may be surprised as to what you learn about the holiday itself. You are too good to wallow over what you don’t have as I am sure you have more to celebrate than you think. Once I got over myself I realized I did.
I came to the reality years ago that I had the choice to be hopeful or hopeless and I chose hope. Hopelessness leads to defeatedness and there is no way I am going to live defeated because of one holiday that isn’t even about what most people celebrate it to be. How about you? You can too live in hope and bring it to others.
You can be where ever you are and be a light. You can be the smile that others never see. You can be the merry person you are just because you choose to be. I’m sure if you look around there is something with less then you. Less family, less presents, less income; less of everything. I’m sure those with less are still smiling- and isn’t it time that you put on your cape of hope and stand tall and know that this too shall pass? Because my friend; it always does.
It’s incredible that there are so many who push the ‘feminine’ agenda and all about the power of women unless it’s the likes of Sara Palin or Maria Kang; or those who are prettier than they are. Why ladies; can we all not come together to celebrate the essence of women instead of hating each other? Don’t we get enough of this from television commercials, men, religion; and everything else? It’s a worldwide issue and we together have the power to make it stop. It doesn’t matter if you are in Australia, Saudi Arabia, Canada or Tokyo it’s all the same,
The latest story of of the 32-year-old Maria Kang who is a fitness model and former beauty pageant contestant-oh and military wife and mother of 3. She posted a picture wearing workout attire with her children asking ‘What’s Your Excuse?’ The backlash she has received is enormous! The question is ‘why do so many women care what other women are doing’? Why are you giving so much time hating one woman when you could be loving yourself?
For women who want to or say they want to embrace each other; stop the bickering. Stop the backbiting. Stop focusing on what other women are doing. Stop comparing and blaming everyone else for your body image issues. Just stop it.
Women need to look at women for who they are. Maria Kang is a military wife, she is a mother of 3; and she is judged for what she looks like. If you feel bad about yourself after looking at models or beauty queens; then stop looking at it. If you know eating fries isn’t healthy; then stop. It’s that simple.
So long as women judge women for being too big or small; for being too pretty or ugly we will never advance. We will never be friends. We will never be in business together. We will never get past the small-mindedness of talking and gossiping about people to the level of speaking about ideas and ventures.
Ladies let’s get past what we think other women should be doing or looking like and start focusing on what we individually can and should be doing for the best change in our lives. Let’s stop the misogyny and celebrate women together. Don’t you agree?
With more than 40 million people dating online one may appear as the best place to go. Find love in the comfort of your home and in your jammies; what could be better. While it may serve the purpose for many who venture to Match. com, Plenty of Fish, Checkhimout, E-Harmony or any of the others it’s a great thing. On the other side for others it’s a dipping pond of disappoint. The lies, the fake profile pictures, the cancellations; and the list goes on. Could it be that in order to get to the status of being marriable one has to be datable first?
In order to be datable here are a few things to consider and ask yourself before taking moments from the life of someone else.
1- Am I too busy? If you do not have the time to date then why put a profile online in the first place? Why try to meet someone if you are not able to commit to the time that it would take to do so?
2- Can I keep a scheduled date? If you are cannot commit to keeping a date then perhaps you should not venture toward trying to get one in the first place. If your children or other activities require you to not be able to commit then you should be mindful of the message it sends to someone.
3- Can I afford it? Many people have the misconception that it costs men and not women money to date yet they are mistaken. Sure it does cost men money to day; however, women too have to pay although in a different way. Studies continue to reveal that single women have to pay more annually for maintenance than married women and when single; there is a lot of competition out there. If women don’t play the game of ‘keep- up’ they will never land the man. Knowing that men are visual women have to spend the extra time and money to have the proper appearance in order to attract someone in the first place. Yes men typically do pay for a date although times have changed and now both are paying. Regardless; if you are not in position to afford it then don’t get yourself in the situation in the first place.
4- Are my priorities in order? If you have an interest of taking a woman out ‘only’ when the game isn’t on then how long will it last? There will always be a game on and trying to juggle all the games and women will only land you alone in the end. If your only love affair is with a television portraying men running on a field, quart, or ice arena perhaps recognizing this is the first step and then determining what your priorities are. It’s ok if you wish to have more time with your buddies watching games at the bar all weekend; just don’t expect a date with a real woman who wants your time. People are how they are when you meet them!
5- Am I in proper position to date? Is my car registered, can I drive to pick a woman up, do I have air conditioning. It’s amazing how many times I have heard that men in Dallas do not have air conditioning. In Denver or Seattle; ok it’s different. In Dallas in the heat of the summer to not have air conditioning is quite another story!
6- Am I emotionally stable? If you are not over your ex, exes; or parents divorce 25 years ago then perhaps getting into a dating relationship isn’t going to help. Two dysfunctional people together do not create function. Brittany Spears and Keven Federline proved this. Taking care of personal issues means less baggage to a relationship that would only cause it to end sooner than it should.
7- Are my finances in order? Now it’s not to say you have to have a perfect credit score; however, if you are not financially fit then spending your money taking care of financial issues would be the more prudent decision. Knowing that many dating situations lead to marriage; it would be wise to take care of all the areas of your household so when it’s time to date you are in the best position financially so it won’t be an issue in the long term.
8- Am I respectful of boundaries? When you respect yourself then it’s much easier to set boundaries. If you expect and give sex on the first date then there is a clear sign of no boundaries, prudence; or self control. It sends the wrong message and if you do not set boundaries then you are allowing the person to treat you any way you wish and you not respecting the boundaries of others will also send a wrong message. Be respectful of yourself and if the person you date isn’t for you; then that only means you still have your self respect in tact.
By taking the time to think about whether or not you are actually ready to date you will not only show yourself some self respect but those around you too. It’s not fair to those you wish to date to not be in position to at least drive somewhere because you haven’t yet taken care of the standard operations of being an adult. If dating leads to marriage then starting with self would be the first place to begin. It’s always better to date a healthy person before marrying one wouldn’t you think?
We have a problem in America. Yes we already know the economy is terrible and that the media loves to twist the truth. We know that the IRS attacks on conservatives and Tea Party are a real thing; and we know that the divorce rate is on the increase. This is all true. Sad; but true. The real issue is much deeper than that. It’s what is beneath that is the real issue.
The heart of people is the true crisis here. Sure hurt people hurt people but what’s more concerning is that it’s not a concern. People lie and thinking nothing of it. Not only this; they have no problems doing it right to your face! This begs the question: how did we get here? How did we come to a place where being liars and cheaters is just part of life, business and marriage? Have we no shame? Have we no respect for anyone or even ourselves? Apparently not!
If you step back and look at the times we are in the signs are there. More than ever before people are becoming more in love with themselves, boastful, cheaters; liars and greedy. What’s it for? More self gain at the cost of others? One is a lonely number my friend.
While it may be the norm in the ways of the world doesn’t mean anything more than this. It doesn’t mean that you have to behave in such a manner. What other people choose to do should have no impact on you yet for some this has changed. It’s more of the ‘steal, lie and cheat you before you can do it to me’ mentality and it’s just wrong.
If you think nothing of the people of whom you commit to, do business with; or want to date or marry because you are more interested in yourself then should it be any wonder if it doesn’t go the way you want? If you live a life of no integrity because you are too busy promoting yourself than respecting others perhaps your heart needs an enema.
Just a week ago someone lied straight to my face and it I knew from the moment the words were spoken that everything was a lie. I almost interrupted to save the person from lying to me but thought otherwise. Today; my thoughts were confirmed. While yes it’s not cool I was lied to; the more important issue is the character of this person. It’s all there and revealed and I see it clearly. No longer will there be any business, relationship, engagement of conversation; or any desire for any interaction. It’s done. There is nothing left to say.
The ironic thing about the entire situation is how many people may just think, ‘let it go, no harm no foul’ and that thought process just leads to an acceptance that that is the normal behavior of people. And that- is the largest issue of all.
Until we get real with ourselves and deal with the real heart issues things won’t get better. Until we recognize that our behaviors are a reflection of our hearts we won’t get it. Until we stop to think of the impact of legacy our actions have we won’t get it. Until we stop to pay attention to what and who we have become as individuals and as a society we are headed for trouble. It’s all being evidenced in daily interactions everywhere. Don’t believe me then check out Ashley Madison who helps married people have affairs, check out the latest reports about Benghazi or the latest about A-Rod and his wrecked baseball career. It’s all issues of the heart to cheat, lie and steal. It’s the issues of the heart so I ask: where is your heart?
A few days ago I delivered a lecture about the speech making process. As part of one of the activities I conducted a brainstorming exercise on the topic of marriage. The purpose was to list as many thoughts and ideas about marriage as possible within a 5 minute period.
Writing down all the items they ranged from divorce to divorce rates, the definition of marriage, children and man cave. Some took it serious while others had a little more fun and tossed out ideas like dating even though he meant his spouse. We continued with arranged marriage, culture and where to live. Through this 5 minute time session much was explored.
Upon completion we all looked at the list. A lot of items listed and they thought they did a nice job. One would think as the white board was filled with plenty of items to move toward the next step in the speech making process. This was until someone pointed out that ‘love’ was not on the list. How could that be? True enough; I looked again at the list and nope ‘love’ did not make it.
How is it that in a discussion of ideas about marriage that love does not equate? What really does that say about where we are as a society? Of course after everyone realized this it surely had to be added but the point remained. Love was not one mentioned.
Should we be upset or surprised at the current divorce rate if when we talk about marriage love doesn’t make the cut? What then is marriage about? Just signing a piece of paper for better health insurance or saving a few bucks on rent each month?
It’s a sad day when the reality is how little love counts in what should be the most important relationship in a person’s life. It’s also sadder when someone in the lecture says that a marriages survive on money and not love. If this were true the divorce rate wouldn’t be what it is. So this begs the question: if you were delivering a speech about marriage what would your three main points be?