What a crazy world we live in isn’t it? It’s amazing how much society has changed; yet in the big scheme of things it really hasn’t. With the situation surrounding Donald Sterling it’s definitely cause of reflection and discussion. One question may be does Donald Sterling deserve to lose his job or be outlawed because of his beliefs? While the majority are saying yes I wonder how many of them have ever thought ill of a group of people or individuals. It’s a scary thing to live in a glass house.
The bigger question though surrounding the issue is does Donald Sterling deserve forgiveness? Some may ask ‘for what? and that would be a great question. Does he deserve forgiveness for his thoughts, his words; cheating on his wife? He deserves forgiveness as much as anyone else does for judging him for his thoughts and actions.
See; when we look at situations face value we lose sight of the bigger picture. Mr. Sterling’s thoughts and comments reflect something deeper that people are not talking about. It’s an issue of the heart. What’s in the heart comes out the mouth according to Proverbs and we all are a reflection of that. People are not talking about anything other than what they see on the outside and while it may not be what you, reader, may deliver to the public it is what he did. He is no different than Paula Dean or Phil Robertson right? People have opinions and while they may be outdated, hurtful; rude or disgusting in the eyes of others does not change anything. Isn’t it interesting that one person’s hateful opinion isn’t allowed yet another’s judgmental and hateful opinion of that person with that hateful opinion is?
None of us are any better than the next. Everyone alive has been hurt and hurt and so long as we live in a lifestyle of judgment and not forgiveness we will only see the one dimension of the situation. One person’s comments are no more a sin than the person judging that person for the comments.
It really does not matter what any of us think about the situation. It just doesn’t. What matters is how we respond to it. And so on this day I pray in Jesus name for the heart of Donald Sterling, that his eyes open to to the beauty of all people, their skills and talents, and what can be learned from them. I pray that we as a people come together to remove the bitterness and judgment toward one another and in our own hearts to see love and forgiveness knowing none of us are any better than the next. I pray that we come out in love not for the love of the sin but for the love of a person who, like all of us, made mistakes. I pray that we all look at how we behave and treat others and that we keep our hearts filled with what is good and pleasing, what would display and give love to others and of course a spirit of forgiveness. Amen.’
Until we grasp that we all need forgiveness we won’t get very far. It’s a shame that for some their hatred and ignorance is publicized although that’s the way it is. This leads me to my final question: If your deepest thoughts and words were made public would they reveal?
There is power in the tongue so reads Proverbs 18:21. The tongue can deliver life or death. By the words you speak you change lives; for the better or worse is up to you. By your tongue you can do more than you may think.
What is interesting is that universities are now getting involved in the message. What is offensive language is forever changing and if you are in a more mature generation or even if you were born before Atari you may recall that the term ‘Founding Fathers’. Well; universities have been on strike against those two words linked together for it is offensive to some. Who knows who the ‘some’ are although apparently there are those who find what those men did for the great Nation of America offensive and therefore; you may hear the term ‘pioneers’ instead.
What’s amazing is that through this change in speech at universities such as Duke; the right to free speech is also changing with it.
From personal experience professors at University of Phoenix are known to be highly encouraged and then reprimanded if action not taken to remove any and all references to the words Jesus, Christianity, Christian Church and Bible from their biographies. It’s a tricky thing when professors are required to share what they do outside of teaching a university class when the professors are not allowed to share it because they are afraid someone will be offended by what a professor does on his or her own time. I wonder if I had instead put ‘dancer with no clothes on for fun in the nighttime for extra spending money’ would have garnered the same results or if that would have just been viewed as ‘freedom of expression’. I digress.
The latest ‘Discouragement’ Campaign was recently launched at Duke to remove language that is oppressive to homosexuals and insults people. While a nice idea to not offend people although the overall campaign is missing the point.
Instead of focusing on not offending one segment of the population why not just bring the Proverb 18:21 in the lives of students not only at Duke but across universities and live by the words of Proverbs 18:21, ‘The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.’
When you speak words of live to others it changes them in positive ways. When we focus on segments of people we miss what we could and should be saying. In essence we remove the right to free speech.
Do we really need campaigns to remove our speech? Or do we just need to have a heart attitude filled with love and encouragement; one filled with uplifting others through our words? At what point will we grasp that what we need isn’t yet one more campaign for this or that but rather a changed heart? It isn’t about what we make it and until we see that; we will continue to use the wrong words for the wrong messages and will still get the same wrong results.
It’s a funny thing where people think they know something they don’t. Perhaps you thought something and were so solid in your belief and then ‘oops’ you were wrong. Yeah it’s happened to me to. Boy was I eating crow.
Judgment is one of those things where it keeps us focused in the wrong places and on all the wrong things. I remember moving from Denver to Dallas and going to get a bottle of wine on a Friday evening and hearing a man make a comment to me ‘another pretty woman alone on a Friday night’. Ouch! I cried. Pathetic yes I know but what I can say. I have my moments.
As I later reflected on that I also saw how other women are judged to. See; the pretty people get judged because they just must be so vain right? They must be stuck up or something along those lines is what people think. Others feel sorry for them and think ’tisk tisk she can’t get a date. It must be so horrible for her’ all the while those who may not be so pretty or perhaps are chubby are judged too. ‘Tisk tisk if only she lost weight she would be pretty.’ And the saddest is that through this judgement all the great women are home alone on a Friday night!
We simply have no clue what is going on in the lives of others. We just don’t. What you think is what ‘you’ think but is that reality? You don’t know until you know and if you don’t know then what on earth are you making your judgments on?
Debbie Gibson came out a few days ago feeling the need to explain to the world her weight loss and her physical appearance. If you don’t remember her think 1980’s singer who sang ‘Shake Your Love’. She is battling with Lyme disease and it’s caused some unexpected things in her life. Is it anyone’s business? Nope. Yet people have criticized her appearance without knowing one single thing.
How often have you criticized someone without knowing? How often have you had judgment in your heart because of something you thought you saw?
How do you not judge?
1- Remain focused on the Lord
2- Speak to others what you would want spoken about you
3- Know that what you see probably isn’t
4- Ask yourself how you would feel if you were judged in the way you are judging- and then stop
5- Recognize that people are people and none are better or worse
We’ve all been there thinking we know when we don’t. We just don’t. And if we did our hearts would move from judgment to compassion. The question is why not start with compassion? Why not get rid of the old ways of judgment of others and move to a new compassion revolution? Get on board now and fill your heart with compassion for others. You never know when it’s going to be the one thing that you need that will change your life. Go on- I dare you.
Life can be stressful and if you are not careful; it can be much more that! It can and does lead to heart attacks, alcoholism, arthritis and much more. Unless you do something about getting and keeping your peace your life won’t change. If you want change I challenge you take these simple steps for joy restoration:
10. Declutter– Having too much stuff around will only cause more stress because that stuff has to be taken care of. If you pay money to rent a storage facility; are you losing money paying to store stuff you won’t actually need? Decluttering will help you save time and money in the end while giving you peace of mind.
9. Plan your meals- When people get hungry they get agitated. Sure it may take time to actually plan your meals; however, the benefits are worth it. You will have more time in your day and won’t have to frantically try to figure out what to eat and then end up eating leftover potato salad with some Lucky Charms.
8. Eat foods you can pronounce- Eating living foods will change your life. If you can’t pronounce it it’s probably made my man and well; not really food but rather some variation of it. Living foods bring life to your bones and will decrease mood swings. In the Bible commanded His men to eat red meat before and after any battle because they needed the fuel to take care of business. A healthy eating lifestyle will bring peace without a doubt.
7- Take a walk for fresh air- There is nothing like fresh air; especially in the Rocky Mountains. A short walk outside can make all the difference. Take some time to see the flowers in bloom and smell the aroma of what surrounds you. It’s the greatest way to bring peace and guess what? It’s free.
6- Take a friend inventory- Reflect on the people in your life. How much fruit are they bringing? How much drama and trauma comes with them? One way to get peace is to get the drama out. Distance yourself from those who are not moving toward their futures as you are. The last thing you need is someone stealing your joy, time and your peace. You have too much to live for than to get caught in that trap!
5- Get and stay organized- Getting organized is one thing; staying that way is another! Consistency is key for the results you want. Deal with the root cause of your disorganization so that you can get and stay that way and in the end; have more peace. It’s been reported that people on average spend 7 minutes per day searching for their keys. If only they were organized! Get organized and get peace.
4- Change your attitude– Whether you think you can or can’t you are right. Attitude is everything and if you don’t have the right attitude it’s time for a change. Life is too short to have a bad attitude. Now is the time to get rid of that stinking thinking to get toward the bigger picture of what your life is about.
3- Live within your means– You don’t always need the latest phone, tablet, computer, shoes, car, purse, kitchen renovation. It’s all a lie to get you out of your means. Living within your means increases your peace as there is less stress and worry. It’s not like anyone cares whether or not you have the latest of anything so why live outside your means to prove something to people that don’t care? The only one living with the consequences of the means you choose to live in is you!
2-Know your purpose- You can’t land at a place you can’t identify. Not knowing your purpose or the call on your life is one of the worst things to damage your future. When you have that clear direction all the distractions will decrease because you won’t have time to get involved with things that are not for you.
1- Forgive- The biggest silent killer is unforgiveness. It will ruin your business and personal relationships as well as your life. I lived with an unforgiving heart for most of my life and it was a slow death. If there is anything you ever do for yourself it is forgive. You will be free to go forward living your life without the chains that bind. Everyone has been hurt in their lives so what makes you any different? Deal with it and move on!
It’s quite simple really to get peace. It’s a matter of how much you want it. Once you get it you will know not only how important it is; but also how important it is to keep it. Sure life is life and people are people; but you are the one responsible for the level of peace you have and today is the day to make your day filled with the peace that you need to live the life you were created for.
It’s hard to not get caught up in the focus of what society deems beautiful. Magazines airbush every blemish that may actually be beauty marks, Hollywood glamorizes unhealthy weight and waistlines; and after reading style magazines for less than 2 minutes 30% of women in a recent poll felt worse about themselves.
How you escape it all? How do you get beyond what all the images, advertisements; and lies are to see the truth? A few things to help are:
1- Recognize it’s a lie. It’s a lie to believe you are not beautiful. It’s a lie to believe that you need to be anything more than you are. Remember that if companies advertised that you were beautiful ‘without’ their products they would not be in business.
2- Stop comparing. The more society brings us comparing ourselves to one another; the more feeling of insecurity creep in. Comparing yourself to others will in the end; not get you closer to be the real you that you were created to be. Celebrate yourself and know that what you see in others may not even be real.
3. Accept yourself. See; the beauty industry is about creating a beauty that ‘they’ define. How real is it? How true to you is it? You are beautiful and there is nothing about you that should not be celebrated; cellulite and all. Years ago I was challenged to do something that changed my self perception and my life. I was challenged to sit in front of mirror and simply stare at myself for 15 minutes. I first laughed until I sat there and started staring. At first I noticed all the things that would make sense; the blemishes. Then I sat longer and started seeing the beauty; the creation of me that God made. I saw my mole that I used to try to wash off in a different way. I saw my eyebrows different and was thankful that I even had them. I saw the different colors of brown in my eyes that I never saw before. I saw something new. How about you? Will you take the challenge?
As we go through life and live in a materialistic and outward appearance focused society; it’s time to get back to the basics and accept the beauty that we are all graced with. It’s time to stop looking at others and seeing what we are not as a result. It’s time to get to the reality of what we are and celebrate that. It’s time that we reocgnize it’s much more beautiful to be healthy in our own skin.
Sure many will have you believe that diamonds are a girl’s best friend; although I argue why not have two? Diamonds and dogs are a perfect combination on any day.
If you have a dog you may share in the joy of your pal and if you are not yet the proud owner of a pooch (pug pug pug) perhaps you will be.
I have been blessed with a pug with a personality like none other. Her facial expressions tell it all. Olive is her name. She not only brings such joy but also many lessons taboot. If you step back and look at all the things you have learned from you dog I’m sure there are many. A few I share are:
1. Patience. When I make Olive’s breakfast she sits pretty and waits patiently; watching intently. What a lesson as I recall the days of the past where I would get impatient waiting for microwave popcorn! Perhaps it’s the fact that I couldn’t decide what to name Olive so I included ‘Patience’ as a middle name since it was something I needed in my life.
2. There can be fun in anything. Dogs don’t hide this fact. Try to chase them to come inside and you will surely find out. It’s all about perspective and for them life is good and always fun.
3. Exploring new things is worthwhile. Dogs love exploration. The new smells of the grass, butts and flowers are all part of the majestic components of life. Of course we also can’t forget a great wardrobe is wonderful for the soul too! We can all learn to stop the routine and just look around and smell the beauty that surrounds us.
4. Sleeping is not a bad thing. Dogs know this and they don’t hide it. They aren’t like people where there is too much to do that in our attempt to do it all we end up not doing all of it to the level that we could because we are simply too tired. Nope. Dogs check out when they are done. Perhaps we should too!
5. Just because the food is there doesn’t mean it needs to be eaten. Now of course unless you are a lab who eats everything including the Slim Fast. Dogs eat until they are full and that’s that. There is no worry of the happy plate or leaving a few morsels. We may have smaller waistlines if we humans could only grasp that.
6. A little pat on the back goes a long way. It’s the simple things that mean the most. Dogs enjoy being rewarded as it inspires them to do more. How many pats can you give today to those around you?
7. Support for another can be silent. Dogs know when something isn’t right. They don’t need to do anything more than simply sit next to you; and perhaps place a cute paw on your leg or arm. It is their mere presence that says it all.
8. A good walk is energizing. Dogs love the outdoor breeze and fresh air. It’s about being outside that brings a refreshing to life. You may be surprised to how great you can feel just by getting out and taking a walk.
9. Being a part of something is good. Dogs as we know are pack animals. When left alone with other dogs they find their way. They find their own level of participation and involvement and it’s a good thing. People are no different. The inclusion and need to be needed is an innate quality in everyone. Isolation doesn’t work for dogs nor does it work for people either.
10. Unconditional love does exist. Regardless of how many mistakes you make dogs don’t care. They still love you. There is no judgment because you are who you are and that’s that. There is no need for you to change to get them to like you; they just do. And that is something we can all learn from.
There is much we can learn from the pup pals if we just sit back and reflect for a moment. The companionship offered isn’t anything you can buy in a store. It just comes with the entire package and those lessons that are part of the package can become lifelong ones so long as we let them. So how about you? What additional lessons have your dogs taught you?
Image of Olive is owned by Julie Blair. Any use of this image requires written permission.
It’s a serious question that we must ask ourselves. It is a command to love they neighbor for it is written in Mark 12:31 ‘The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Interesting isn’t it? You may have grown up hearing it but not now where it comes from. I ask again- do you really love your neighbor? It seems in our society that we love twitter, we love a great shoe sale or Duke basketball; even though they loss but do we really love our neighbor? Do we love the obese man next door? Do we love the African American to the other side of the house? Do we love the homosexual couple? Or do we just think we are speaking a good idea in theory?
Yesterday I had a conversation with someone and listening to her testimony truly touched me. See; all too often we interact with people and base whether we like them on political stances instead of the people themselves. Whether you are homosexual or agree with the lifestyle is irrelevant. It simply is. The Bible is clear but so do we need to continue to focus on that in that context or go bigger to see something else? In the conversation with this woman I was blessed to hear her story, her pain and loss and her victory that she now blesses others with. I could hear that what she wanted most was to be loved and accepted for who she is and to love others. It is natural. It is normal. Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are and right where they are. The good news is that you are!
So are you loving your neighbor? Are you living in the land of love or are you too busy judging others because they are not the size 2, driving the vehicle that you think is cool, or drinking your favorite beer? Are you looking down on someone because they don’t attend your 40k member mega-church? It is simply not the place of any of us to judge anyone as that in and of itself is sin. Who is anyone to look at the life and path of another and condemn them? Am I not just as guilty for the sins I have committed? See; being homosexual is no different in the eyes of God as adultery, abortion; or stealing a pen. Sin is sin and we have to remember that. Sure the outcome may be different but that simply is not the point for this moment.
It’s amazing how many don’t realize the magnificent and the magnitude of the words Jesus spoke before His death: ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ (Luke 23:34) and how true it is! People are hurting by their sins so why judge them even more?
I remember a few years ago I was walking out of a store and a strange gentleman asked me my plans for the evening. I replied ‘none’ and his reply was ‘oh another beautiful lady home on a Friday night.’ Ouch! What I saw though was that the pretty ladies are judged for their looks just as much as the not so pretty ladies. In the end- all are home alone on a Friday night. And that’s not cool!
We are only called to love our neighbors. It’s that simple. None of us know the specific path that someone has been through. We just don’t. Know one has walked my journey except for Jesus and the same is for you. I will be dealt with on Judgment Day as will all of us whether we believe it or; like it or not or want it or not. Through al of this so long as we hold over those who we believe are more sinful than ourselves we are simply playing God. It is not up to any of us to place ourselves in that position as what we think today may be different tomorrow. It is only our responsibility and duty to reach out and love our neighbors and demonstrate that love so that others can see the light and forever be changed.
How
Shopping malls are like bad ex spouse; they just keeps popping up in places you would rather not see. I read an article earlier this morning about how the shopping malls of America are undergoing transformation; as if we couldn’t tell right?
While the article was trying to bring light to the fact that malls aren’t dead; t it’s just the size of the mall that is dying. In other words; bigger malls are better for America. And more of that is just what America needs. More for more right? More roller coasters in malls for more of your money. More is the American dream after all.
As I reflected on the idea of the shopping mall and how consumers are shopping now and what that experience really is. As a kid we used to go to the mall and it was an experience. An experience of finding a bathing suit that I was allowed to wear in public. An experience of finding clothes that would be appropriate. It was never a good experience; until I went without my parents. You may remember Mervins, the Denver, May D & F and others. The hours certainly were not what they are now and it wasn’t about riding roller coasters and having a Starbucks or five star meal. The purpose was to shop. It’s changed since then and what may surprise you that only 6% of retail sales were online according to the US Census Bureau.
When I think of shopping malls now it screams desperation. Desperation for you to come and willingly pay more than you should for most items because the retailers can’t afford their rent any other way. The mall screams manipulation of getting your kids to want to go to climb the wall or ice skate while you pay a fortune for them to do so; all in the name of the experience of shopping. Who wouln’t really want to shell out four dollars for a pretzel?
In the big scheme of things you probably don’t need most of what you get in a shopping mall. They need you more than you realize. It’s a trap for you think otherwise. If you look at what you currently own you probably have more than enough. More to get by with. More to enjoy; and maybe even more to give away. Just take a closer look. You have enough. Like that old spouse; let it go. You don’t need it any more. You have all that you need just the way you are.
The world we live in has changed. Society is distorted. There is no way around this. You know it’s distorted that one in state a woman can get an abortion legally all the while a 64oz soda is not allowed. Society and its rules have just changed. The impact proves devastation for many. Regardless of what societal changes are; my friend you are enough. Take one look the mirror and speak to yourself today. I challenge you.
Right where you are stop for a moment and reflect on that. You are enough. The way you are is enough. You truly have all that you need for it is written that His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him. What this means is that you don’t have to strive to be something you are not!
You don’t have to go and prove to others that you are worthy of their love. You are already loved! No need to beg for roses with His love. You don’t have to strive to be skinnier as society doesn’t have a cap on that one either. The good news is that you don’t have to kill yourself trying to make more money to buy that fancy car to impress people that you can’t impress because they are too busy trying to impress you. You just don’t.
There will never be anything in society that will tell you that you are tall enough, wealthy enough, big breasted enough, intelligent enough, pretty enough; or anything enough. Never ever.
Cosmetics companies would not exist with campaigns that you are beautiful without their makeup. Muscle building companies would not exist if they had advertisements telling you that your small muscles were enough to get chics.
Nothing in society will ever want you to think you are enough. Following society is a trap. It’s tiring, exhausting, lonely at times. It is more than a conqueror to stealing who you are, your value; your soul. And you my friends; are more than conquerors. You are worth more than the hours you give trying your best to find time to post all the tweets and facebook stuff that the so called business experts require. You are more than the tears you weep from the time not spent with your children. You are more than the 10lbs you want to lose in time for spring. You are worth more than what is being robbed from you.
The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. He is ever so sly in his inner workings. Be strong. Get strong and know that you are more than a conqueror. You are His and through that-you have all the value you will ever need.
It’s something worth repeating: you are accepted. You are good enough right where you are; muffin top and all. I say this because it’s incredible how much in our society people are searching. Searching for that one thing to make them more well; accepted. The search for love on television shows; hoping that one guy or gal they meet and spend 3 hours with will want them. The search for 5,000 facebook fake friends to add to the mix, the drinking group that just accepts you becaues you can handle more tequilla shots than the next person. You can search everywhere for acceptance or you can accept that you are accepted and good enough right where you sit. You don’t even need a Mac!
There is no need to go about life trying to change who you are. It won’t work. It can’t. Those that would accepte you based upon the fake you will eventually see the truth and then what? You are starting your search over again seeking elsewhere for that acceptance that doesn’t exist.
You don’t need to beg for roses, have sex on the first date; or drink yourself into oblivion to impress others who are drunk. You just don’t. You don’t have to have bigger muscles or better car either. See; Jesus doesn’t care about any of that. He is much wiser to see the core of who you. the best part? He loves you despite of your shortcomings.
It took me a long time to get to a place of 1) accepting Jesus, 2) accepting the fact that He already accepted me, 3) accepting myself. I had no idea what that meant at the time. I only knew that what I was doing wasn’t working. How about you? Are you tired of searching? Are you tired of being where you are? Perhaps is the day you try something new. Perhaps today is your day to believe and receive. Perhaps today is a new day where you see just how accepted you truly are.