Sure we hear all the messages about people who forgave and how strong they are; but this takes the cake. Yesterday it was released that a woman in Ohio’s medical records were posted on Facebook. Now not just any medical records. Nope. Her STD diagnosis was posted to facebook by Cincinnati’s UC Medical Center for the world to see.
An image of the diagnosis of was included in the post and as a result the woman is suing. The lawsuit claims employees at the University of Cincinnati Medical Center posted the woman’s syphilis diagnosis, which included personal identifying information, on a page for the closed group “Team No Hoes,” reports reveal. The posting included derogatory comments about the woman, calling her a “hoe” and a “slut,” her attorney said.
The group that it was posted to has over 2,000 people in it that now know all her personal business.
The question is: could you forgive? Could you forgive the hospital for blabbing your STD? Could you forgive Facebook for allowing it to be posted? Could you forgive the person who gave you the STD in the first place? Could you forgive the people who have judged you all the while keeping their own STD’s quiet? Could you forgive yourself for trusting the doctors in the first place? Could you forgive the employee who deemed you invisible and unworthy and thought nothing of ruining your life?
Could you? Perhaps after you get a cool check for 10 million? But even then would you ever be able to forgive?
You’ve probably been there at some point in your life. It’s a dating jungle out there and a dog eat dog world. In dating; it’s even trickier and dating is big business. If you are one who has ever done it then you know has exasperating it can be.
Dating is supposed to be great fun; so many so. Is it? There are so many things that come with it and for many women it’s the not knowing that is the biggest issue. The not knowing what ‘I’ll call you’ actually means. In today’s world does it actually mean anything or is it just a simple means of getting away from the situation? One never knows. If you are one who holds on to believing that when he says he will call and doesn’t; forgive. He’s just calling someone else so get yourself ready for the one who will be calling you.
There is nothing worse for women to wonder ‘is he going to call? He said he would. When is he going to call? Why isn’t he calling? Did he lose my number? Perhaps he lost his phone. Maybe I should call him to make sure he’s ok. maybe I should facebook him’ And on it goes to the point of insanity.
The thing is; he will call if he wants to. Your value does not change based upon someone does or does not call you.You are a woman of value and have too much going on to be sidetracked by something like this. If he said he would call and he doesn’t; forgive him. I say this because the time you would ultimately spend wondering about what you did or didn’t do; wish you could go back and do different, and all the things wrong with you is a distraction. When you simply make the choice to forgive him for not calling; and even for being an idiot for not seeing how wonderful you truly you are free. You are free from wonder. You are free to move about your day and life without any worry or wonder. You are simply free to be.
You may have to walk through something you wouldn’t probably choose to walk through on purpose but it’s life. It’s a journey and the good news is that if he calls you will know and if he doesn’t you will know that too. The best part is that you won’t have lost your joy giving it any more time than necessary because your forgiveness means you are ready for the one who will step up and call.
Forgiveness is like nothing else in the world. It gives and spreads like love in paradise. It’s like the high when you have that twinkle in your eye about someone you met and like; and can’t wait to see again. It’s the beauty in life that continues the more you give it. It’s one of those things that until you truly grasp it, hold it, experience and live it- you can’t possibly understand.
I didn’t get it. I didn’t get that high or love until I learned forgiveness. I had no twinkle in my eye but rather a plank, along with many other things that kept me impoverished. It wasn’t until I learned how to forgive that my life was changed and I was free. Forgiveness is many things and in my first episode of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ I talked about what forgiveness is. Today; I share with you the how it gives you power in the easiest of ways.
1- Forgiveness opens your heart. With an open heart you can accomplish anything! The wounds of the past are no longer in control. You are free indeed.
2- Forgiveness opens your eyes. You will be able to see that people are people and they do what they know. What they don’t know is what can hurt the most. What you don’t know can hurt you too. I didn’t know the truth about my biological mother being told by our case worker that if she didn’t sell me to him for 10k he would make sure she never saw me again. Once I learned that; my eyes were opened. I saw for the truth and it’s the truth that makes us free.
3- Forgiveness puts you in the drivers seat. When you forgive you are disallowing any person and his or her burden to have any impact upon you. You have power unlike any other when you make the choice to forgive.
4- Forgiveness gives you peace. It’s a sickening thought when you realize the person who hurt you is living his or her life in joy all the while you are suffering. There is no peace in suffering; only silent turmoil. When you forgive you have peace. Inner peace. Peace to live and peace to be free. There is power in peace that comes from forgiveness.
5- Forgiveness gives you power to love. People who forgive also know how to love. For love is about forgiveness and forgiveness is about love. Love knows and records no wrongs. When you forgive you wash away the wrongs of others as Jesus has done for you.
There is nothing like peace and joy overflowing through the act of forgiveness. It brightens the day like the birds chirping in the trees to a love song. It’s a dance of love displayed between two people destined to be together who have barely just met. It’s a picture of beauty that we all want to capture and live. It’s in the power of a picture perfect moment waiting for you to create. Go now and forgive and live in the power of your act of forgiveness.
When forgiveness comes up in topic most people struggle with how to forgive the big things. This makes sense as the big things are big and big things always tend to outshine little foxes. The catch is that not forgiving the little things can hurt even more and prove more devastating.
When it comes to forgiveness Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive; thinking 7 would be enough. Well; Jesus something a little more than 70! Jesus also did not specify the magnitude of the things to forgive either; which is a clue that to forgive means exactly that.
In your life are your holding on to the little things? Little being the not so nice words someone said to you, the competition you were just in that you believe you were judged incorrectly, the jerk in front of you that can’t figure out how to signal, or that your spouse didn’t put the lid back on the toothpaste. These things add up.
While we can all laugh at these little things; they are big in that unforgiveness expands its territory in ways unimaginable. First comes the irritation, then the bitterness, and then resentment and anger starts to join the party. Before you know it; that person you once loved is seeking divorce, the person who didn’t signal is part of an entire group of people you happen to hate and the list goes on.
If you look closely at yourself; are there little things that have crept in? Are there little things lurking that give you that cringe? Perhaps if you are truthful with yourself you can may ‘yes’. Don’t worry as you are not alone. Once you get there you can make the choice to forgive. It will be the best decision you can make!
Issues are part of life. If you are alive you have issues. None are immune. In relationships; there are issues within the relationship itself along with issues that each person brings to the relationship. When the relationship ends many people are left broken. I remember a terrible relationship of mine ending and I told my friends I was left with heartache and his debt. I was also left with his baggage that I named unforgiveness.
Dealing with the end of a relationship is traumatic. Starting a new life without that person and even a new person can cause fear too. Where do you begin? How do you not make the same mistakes to end up where you are now- alone?
Forgive. The exes will always bring something and leave something as we all play a role in our relationships. It’s what you receive, give and accept that will have all the impact. I learned the hard way.
Should you allow the baggage from others become yours you will start living a life that is not what was truly intended for you. Do you want to become that person who brings your exes baggage to the next relationship? Of course not! You would only be making the same mistake while expecting a different outcome. Forgiving those that hurt you will set you free. Forgiving yourself for the role that you played in that too will free you. There is nothing that will help you lose weight quicker than forgiveness.
It took me decades to learn this lesson. See; unforgiveness keeps you being the victim. It keeps you looking at your past. It keeps you from seeing the good in other people. It keeps you from having joy, peace and anything worthwhile. Not everyone woman is a gold digger and not every man is a jerk who just uses women for sex. It just happens to be those that you have chosen to be in a relationship with that are. When you forgive; none of that will have any control over you. You, my friend, will be free.
When you are free from the wounds of others you will be transformed. The new people that come into your life will be more of a blessing that you could ever imagine. No longer will you live in comparisons of the past. No longer will you need to hold on to something that is killing you. No longer will your life be as it was. For you are a new creation seeking a new life with new abundance. And in the end; isn’t that what you have always wanted? It’s your time to get it!
It’s a challenging question that perhaps you can’t answer if asked so on this day I am asking. Who could you forgive?Could you forgive a spouse for cheating on you? I know many that would say ‘he.. no’! I am not forgiving someone who does that to me! I know some that may say no way until it happens and they realize yes they can. Could you forgive someone for stealing clients or even shares of your business? What about those who bully your children? Not challenging enough? How about this: could you forgive yourself? Forgive yourself for what you ask? It doesn’t matter. Could you forgive yourself for whatever you have done?
It’s time to think about the level of strength that you have in order to forgive. Why? Because forgiveness is not about anyone else but you. There will always be people who wrong us. Parents mess kids up and those kids then in turn mess their kids up. It’s a cycle and it appears none are immune. Many people turn into their parents and just for that reason alone; the lesson of forgiveness needs to be learned.
I was abandoned by my biological mother and for many years I hated her; along with most people. Even when I met my biological mother I remember her looking at my up and down and then walking away to go finish her phone call. My level of contempt for her just grew in that instant. And my life was a reflection of it. I blamed others for the mistakes they made all the while I continued the cycle.I had to learn forgiveness.
Years later I learned what forgiveness is and the process of being healed through it. Who could I forgive? Anyone for anything. You may truly question that but here is the thing: when you make forgiveness your lifestyle you are able to see the bigger picture. You are healed. You my friend are free. And that means no longer are you bound by the sins of others. Now please don’t think it would be easy; but rather doable.
How strong are you? My best guess is that you are stronger than you think and that strength is just a matter of choice.You see; the strong forgive and live as victors while the weak try to survive while living a victims. Ask yourself only who could I forgive but also ‘how strong do I want to be?’
Lies are something of a fascination to me. It’s amazing how easily deceived people are by them; without even knowing it. They sweep in our lives and kill with such stealth moves leaving most of us paralyzed for life.
The other day I listened to an interview with singer songwriter Toni Braxton. She spoke much about her personal life; including the abortion she regretted.
Toni spoke about her family and the tough financial trials and the bankruptcy she went through. It was during that time that she got pregnant and couldn’t see herself raising a child when she was in the midst of financial fall. She talked about how much she regretted having an abortion and how selfish she now sees her choice.
What captured me was 1) she knew it was selfish, 2) her regret. Those two things speak volumes without a doubt. She continued that she later become pregnant and her child was born with autism. She believed the autism was punishment from God and that yes; she deserved it.
The entire story broke my heart! You see; there is forgiveness. There is freedom for abortion. Jesus died on the cross so that we could be forgiven our sins. And forgiveness knows no bounds. If you are like Toni; there is forgiveness for you. There is forgiveness for your selfish ways. All you have to do is ask. Do not be deceived into thinking that your choice to have an abortion isn’t forgivable. That my dear friend; is a lie.
I encourage you today to seek forgiveness because it will change your life. It will set you free. It will remove the chains of bondage. Let it all go! Let go of the shame, guilt, condemnation, self-loathing, regret; and all of rest of the cousins attached. There is no need to continue like Toni and live in shame as she said for the sins that she committed. There just isn’t. It’s a trap! Yes we all make mistakes there is no doubt although this sin is just as forgivable as all of the rest of them.
There is a future for your life regardless of whether or not you believe it just yet. There is hope too. You don’t have to live without it. You don’t have to continue to suffer in silence. You are valued. You are loved. You are forgiven. It’s just up to you to get it.
Forgiveness is a hard thing for many to grasp and even harder for many to receive. The good news is that wherever you are and whatever you have done- it’s for you!
Forgiveness knows no bounds. It is not prejudice. Forgiveness does not discriminate. People do; but not forgiveness. Whether you have cheated, killed, murdered, stole, gossiped, lied, coveted; it doesn’t matter. Forgiveness is for you. What you have done in the past is not defining of your future.
Forgiveness is the one thing that once given; can’t be taken away. It is yours and you can have it. Jesus did not die and then take back did He? He even on the cross went to the Father on our behalf. That takes guts!
See; it’s only people who have judgment in their hearts who hold the forgiveness scale. They equate level of forgiveness with level of sin in their minds and that is only going to keep a level of bondage that is a trap. Remove those judgmental thoughts; especially the thoughts of what a wretched person you are. We are all mistake makers and none are any different.
Once you truly grasp that what you have done is what you have done and that today is a new today and that on this day; you too can receive forgiveness then you will be free. How do I know? I’ve been there. I lived a life of misery in bondage. I lived on resentment lane. I owned all the property in the town of Bitterness. And now I live in the land of Free. The world of Forgiveness. Take it from me. The latter is much better than the former.
Yes Son of Sam is free; but not in the way you think. People believe that they are free if they are not behind bars; yet all the while are living in internal bondage. Unforgiveness does that to a person. Unforgivness is a slow and sly death and it’s always lurking. Are you paying attention?
In the case of Son of Sam his forgiveness is not unique. Jeffry Dahmer gave his life to Jesus and then sought forgiveness of his crimes and later died in prison a Christian. Whether or not any of us believe that doesn’t change the fact that he, like Son of Sam sought forgiveness. What freedom! I’m sure it doesn’t mean you want to have a sit down dinner alone with either Son of Sam or Jeffrey Dahmer but at least it offers hope that whatever you have done there is forgiveness waiting for you too. Wonder how someone like Son of Sam could be forgiven for what he did? Don’t. Forgiveness is forgiveness and there isn’t a sin scale for any of us to measure others upon.
Son of Sam is known to terrorize NYC between 1976-1977 purposely didn’t attend his parole hearing because ‘Jesus has forgiven him and set him free’ as reported to his attorney. How wonderful is that? He is free! And probably on this day more free than most!
What’s wonderful is that forgiveness is there. It’s for you, it’s for me; and it is for anyone willing to seek it. Son of Sam sought Jesus and the gifts of freedom that come with such choice. While you may not agree does not change anything; for the Truth is always the Truth and it doesn’t change.
On this day what are you holding on to? How forgiving are you? How much forgiveness from others have you received or been able to receive? Perhaps it’s for things much less them murder but guess what? Bondage is bondage. Isn’t it time to get free? Isn’t it time to forgive? Isn’t it time to be forgiven? Once you do make that choice you will see that regardless of where you live or what you are doing or even with whom; you are free. The most ironic is that the one who shines this lesson does so as one of the most well known murderer in society still in prison.
It happens to the best of us; we realize we make mistakes. Donald Sterling is no different. Sometimes it takes people longer than what we would like although the good news is that even the lost can change.
Donald Sterling has apologized and sought forgiveness. Should he receive it? He made a mistake and owned it and now is trying to move forward. “I’m a good member who made a mistake and I’m apologizing and I’m asking for forgiveness,” he told Anderson Cooper in an interview.” Am I entitled to one mistake, am I after 35 years? I mean, I love my league, I love my partners. Am I entitled to one mistake? It’s a terrible mistake, and I’ll never do it again.”
Now whether or not you like him, agree with him; or think he deserves forgiveness doesn’t matter.Whether you believe he’s honest isn’t relevant either. He is no different than any of us who have made mistakes. He has humbled himself to seek forgiveness. And isn’t that the first step?
‘Sure but’ you may think and it doesn’t matter. The person seeking forgiveness is the one who has to deal with the root of the issue. Honest or dishonest motives are not anyone’s concerns. What we are all accountable for is our own actions. What are yours? People will always wrong us and should we hold judgement and unforgiveness toward them we are just as guilty as they are. Who wants to live with all that clutter in the heart?
Are you going to keep unforgiveness in your heart? Are you going to continue to allow bitterness or resentment rule? If there is one word I can say today it’s ‘forgive’.
Donald Sterling is seeing the wrong in his ways and has publicly sought forgiveness. How many of you have ever done that or would consider doing it-seek forgiveness publicly? Maybe the next time you make a mistake it should be mandated so. Think abut that.