Any relationship is for the people involved. Any relationship between a person and God is between that person and God. It is safe to include the personal relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit too for reference. When it comes to forgiveness; it is about the personal relationship that one has with God. Forgiveness will bring you closer to God while your unforgiveness will separate you from Him.
Many people spend more time trying to seek forgiveness from other people when in fact that can prove to be more disastrous in the end! In 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 it reads: “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.” (NIV) This clearly emphasizes that the relationship is between the person and God. Now when it comes to forgiveness and unforgiveness both are acts unto Him. If one seeks forgiveness only from others; then the next question must be asked: Where is God in that? By leaving Him out how then can one be fully restored and reconciled to Him? Not only this; when a person seeks forgiveness from other people only and there is no reconciliation; it can create further bondage in the end that can be painful.
How then can one be pleasing to Him when going to man for forgiveness for man alone? The next question then must be asked: does man even have full authority to wipe away the sins; especially since man is imperfect in the first place? Of course not! If someone were falling into this belief it would one of a person who follows a religion with a mediator that is not Jesus as if you have Jesus you simply do not need a man to seek forgiveness of sins from. One then must ask what would the full basis of that sin removal be? When man places more trust more in man than God and misses the responsibility to the relationship with God much is missed not only being free through seeking forgiveness but also in growth in Him. Perhaps this is why so many Believers are not walking in the full authority in Christ that they should be. Perhaps this is you. Have you mistakenly misinterpreted your relationship for religion and missed that Jesus is already speaking to you and waiting for you?
Hebrews 10:17 reveals much about God Almighty and His love for His children: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” This proves yet one more reason why forgiveness is between each person and God and not just one from one person to another only. Understand that while people make mistakes; sin is against God. Period. Why then seek forgiveness from man first and only when the sin while hurts man is against God?
If you are in a position to needing to forgive someone then it simply means that there is a harboring of unforgiveness; which is why that is between you and the Lord. It is also why Acts 3:19 is clear: ‘Repent, and seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.’ (NIV) Through seeking the Lord in repenting you will be right with Him regardless of what occurs with others. And in the end isn’t that all that matters?
For more about forgiveness and your life in Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
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Forgiveness is a process and an event; it’s twofold. It will occur many times in your life if you are willing to be obedient to the Lord. Additionally; you will experience expanded territory through forgiveness. Let me explain;
When you choose to forgive; which not forgiving too is a choice you are overcoming your flesh for something greater than your feelings about what someone did or didn’t do you that you may or may not agree with that wasn’t exactly what anyone else would think. You are laying it down at the foot of the cross. And what happens? God can use you and in bigger ways.
The prayer by Jabez was incredible because of its simplicity: bless me and expand my territory. Brilliant! Yet here is the thing: if you are not experiencing that after you have prayed that effective prayer there is a reason. And most likely a situation of unforgiveness or bitterness is related. The Lord cannot expand territory of an unforgiver. Why? Well; 1) it’s His Kingdom and reputation that you would be diminishing, 2) you choice to not be obedient in forgiving won’t be rewarded, 3) people don’t like being around unforgiving, angry, resentful, bitter people- trust me on that one! And because God is a just God and His Word reigns supreme in commanding us to forgive there are rewards and consequences with each choice we choose to make. Forgive and receive expanded territory and blessings. Don’t want that- then don’t forgive. It’s really that simple yet probably one of the hardest things you will ever do; or at least it was for me.
And so here is the most beautiful image of how this works: Jesus. You see His life on earth was filled with territory right? He walked everywhere, spoke with people, taught, healed, broke bread; performed miracles, casted out demons and on it went. He did it wherever He was. He did it in the territory that was His at the time He did it. But then look what took place:
Jesus completed the call on His life. He died for your sins and for mine. Whether you agree does not change the Truth of what He did. And on that cross he prayed ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ and after His death His territory expanded even more! It was His obedience and His own level of forgiveness that set the example; none other. So when people say that this is unrealistic or not doable well sure- this isn’t for the weak. Jesus was not weak and the Bible tells us clearly that ‘when’ you have struggles and not ‘if’ so it’s not a surprise that it’s not easy. It is realistic because the way has been made. And guess what? God’s Word does not give commands without a person having the ability to deliver. God does not set up people for failure; oh no He provides all the tools that people need in order to grow and expand His Kingdom. Just like Jesus.
And so if you want your territory expanded; to live the full and God call on your life it will require forgiveness. It will require you to get over yourself and know that He who is greater made the way; and that you can forgive. You just have to align your mind with God’s Word is all. When you do this then you will begin to see what God does; and you will experience it- trust me on that too. God is a good God and has a full life for you because He doesn’t hold back any good thing. So the question is: are you ready to get it? Are you ready to lay down the unforgiveness and have it replaced with more of Him operating in you, to you and through you; with expanded Kingdom? I certainly hope so as there is nothing like it in the world. There is nothing like following in the path of Jesus and knowing that God loved His Son so much that He became the freedom for you to live beyond what you could imagine. So get on the path today and expand your territory for His Kingdom; and while you still can.
For more about forgiveness and walking with Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
There is none greater that overcame than Jesus. He layed down the foundation for others to follow and at great cost. His mission was complete and in you; and now it is your turn to do the same. It is your turn to overcome evil with love and forgiveness; following in the footsteps of the Great I Am.
We know there is evil in the world and like never before. Turn on the television and it’s in the news; or even turn on a sitcom and it’s there and the dramas are filled with it. Schools are filled with even perverting our children with ungodly doctrine every chance they get; all in the name of tolerance and some idea of love that isn’t so.
As such it should not be surprised why the rates of depression, suicide, divorce, abortion, hate crimes against all people are all on the rise; even our military men and women who’ve returned home. Let’s not even get into the political arena for the evil spewing to and covering the people. It is everywhere and not just in yor backyard. But we know this; and if you don’t pay attention for it is written in 2 Tim3: 1-7
“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
The good news is that while things are changing you can overcome! You see; Jesus equipped you with every single thing that you need to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. He died for you! He died so that during these times you would have a better way to live; and it is through and it is through forgiveness. There is a better way of life and it is all there just for you.
If you claim to be a follower of Christ and live like the world then you are the hypocrite the world laughs at; you are why people don’t want to become a Christian. There is no testimony or power in hate or revenge; there cannot be. Ad while it may seem like the hate and evil is prevailing rest assured the wicked and evil will experience an early death. There is no doubt. But you; not you should you choose to walk in love and forgiveness. The love and forgiveness that you give to others permeates for much longer than you realize. One only need to see Jesus to get this.
And so the question you probably are most interested in is how do you overcome evil with love and forgiveness? It’s quite simple really although it is a process and a lifestyle change. It is a choice to decide what you allow into your thoughts, your life; and your behavior. It starts with a heart turned toward Jesus. It starts with you asking for Him to increase your capacity to love; and to show you how to walk in love. It will require you to to take every thought captive to the Lord and remain focused on Him and His Kingdom and glory. It will require you to be still in the midst of the Lord at all times; for there is no other way. It will require patience like none other and an understanding that will prevail because He prevailed! He came to set the captives free- He did! And He wouldn’t have done it if He didn’t need to and if He knew you couldn’t be free. And so you overcome evil walking with Jesus knowing that there is a better way and that He is the better way; and let that not only sink in but be your thought for the day.
For more about forgiveness and walking with Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Once you live in forgiveness there is no going back; only forward. Forgiving people know what it takes to get there and as such; refuse to accept anything that would be a hindrance to progress.
1.Forgiving people refuse to be distracted. The ability to progress forward in life is easier when there are less distractions. Unforgiveness is a distraction to everything; it is one of life’s biggest impediments and it brings its cousins of bitterness and resentment and all the second cousins of ungrateful, negative attitude and all the others. Forgiving people are more focused on the Lord’s plan for their lives than the distractions that disobedience brings.
2. Forgiving people refuse to take on others issues. When you live in unforgiveness it’s easy to get caught up drama and trauma; because that is really what unforgiveness is. It creates a level of emotional mess and unstableness and when other’s are allowed to share their stories and drama; it’s hard to say no. It’s also hard to bring a solution to a situation of forgiveness for someone else if you haven’t had the experience. Forgiving people are solution in Christ minded and don’t have time or tolerance for what others will bring and leave on them.
3- Forgiving people refuse to allow their joy and peace to be stolen. When you have peace and joy you will know it; and there won’t be anything that you will allow to enter in to steal it. You protect it like a bear cub as it’s that vital to your overall health and well-being. Unforgiveness is not only a distraction but a joy and life stealer and forgiving people have lived on both sides of the fence and can testify that forgiveness brings joy and it’s worth keeping.
4- Forgiving people refuse to be limited by others and circumstances.Unforgiveness is limiting. Period. It stunts everything in your life from your relationship with your Lord, your blessings; and your purpose. Forgiving people are not bound by circumstances because they know and trust; and have experienced that God is their side and that with Him all things are possible. What happened is what happened and while forgiveness is a process; it is one that a forgiving person is not defined by. There is no limit to the good that will come into your life when you forgive.
5- Forgiving refuse to be disobedient again by being unforgiving. The Bible is clear that forgiveness is a command. Unforgiveness is rebellion and when this revelation is received and forgiveness is understood there is life change. Going back to the ways of old is like trying to put new wine in old wine skin. It won’t and can’t work. Forgivers know what the new relationship with Christ is like; and the depth and growth and expansion of it in ways that unforgivers cannot begin to imagine. Forgivers will not go back to an old way of life simply because it doesn’t produce life; it steals it.
6. Forgiving people refuse to be controlled by others. Forgiveness is freedom and unforgiveness is bondage. Those that choose forgiveness are free from the binds that tie and the control that unforgiveness breeds. When people live in unforgiveness they are allowing situations and people to have more control over their lives than they should. When forgiveness is the lifestlyle there is no need for others to have any control and quite frankly they can’t. You are free and they are free to be in bondage or forgive; although your main concern simply is forgiving and moving on with life.
7- Forgiving people refuse to be a victim. Life happens and terrible things occur. I can testify to that without a doubt but here’s the thing. Forgiving people overcome and actually have a testimony. Unforgivers on the other hand; have no story other than what happened to them. And how many people care to hear what someone did to someone when they could hear how they overcame? You see; you have a choice: you can be a victim or victor but not both at the same time. Forgivers know this and live by it. They are overcomers.
Being a forgiver and living a life of forgiveness requires walking in love. Period. There is no way around this and when you get to this place it brings peace; joy and the rest of the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22. Without forgiveness no one can walk in any of the fruit because they are opposite. If you want to go forward toward the real life that God intended all along for you then forgive. You won’t regret it!
For more about forgiveness watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Many people have ideas about forgiveness, what it is, why they should forgive and a bunch of other things related. Below are 10 myths of forgiveness that keep people in bondage; not living their full lives in Christ.
1- Forgiveness is easy. Lie! Forgiveness is not easy; not at all. Each situation and person in each situation are different. The one thing though is that once you understand forgiveness, the process of forgiveness and allow Christ to to be in the center of it it won’t be as hard as it is trying to do it alone- which by the way you can’t to the full.
2- Forgiveness is something I can’t do it. That’s a lie! Now it’s also correct because whether you think you can or can’t you are right. So the question is: what are you going to choose to do? Believe the lie or move the mountain of the lie? The Bible tells us in Philippians that “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (NIV) And guess what? That means forgive!
3- Forgiveness isn’t a big deal because God doesn’t care. Lie! God absolutely cares and if you claim you are a Christian and not forgiving; then God won’t forgive you. Now think about this: how do you think God feels knowing His son died for your freedom and then by choosing to not forgive you are turing your back on Him? God cares and more than you know; why else would He create you ‘and’ have a plan for your life- to give you hope and a future?!
4- Forgiveness means that that everything will be restored and back to normal. Lie! Nothing goes back to the way it was because it can’t. You are not who you were before you forgave so expecting to go back to what once was when it is no longer is like putting new wine in old wineskines; not going to happen.
5- Forgiveness is letting someone off the hook for what they’ve done. Lie again! Forgiveness is being right with God and no longer letting others and what they have done to you control you. You are the one who gets set free when you forgive!
6- Forgiveness is reconciliation with others. Lie. Many people believe that forgiveness is automatic reconciliation and that simply is not true. Forgiveness is a change in someone and whomever else is involved in whatever took place. There may be reconciliation although more often than not the people go their separate ways and are better for it because forgiveness took place. Freedom triumphed! When I forgave my adoptive mother for the years of abuse I endured by her as a child we were never reconciled. Now when I forgave my biological mother for abandoning me we were. If you expect to be reconciled just because you forgive you are setting yourself up. Forgive to forgive without other motive or agenda; than being right with the Lord.
7-Forgiveness is a one time event. Ha. Lie! Remember Peter asking Jesus how many times he needed to forgive. Ever wondered why he even thought to ask that? That one question is clear that he knew it was more than one time and yes; the same for you. It is not only an event but a process too; and sometimes daily. Living life anywhere with people will require forgiveness and let’s be honest; sometimes just dealing with yourself will require it more.
8- Forgiveness requires them to apologize to me for what they’ve done. Lie. And good luck with that! When people do not believe they have done wrong they will not apologize; why would they? How often do you apologize when you are right? Therefore if your forgiveness is based upon what you think and expect others to do then you are missing it entirely. Forgiveness is not about others it’s about you. When you make your decisions on the pretext of others you are simply being controlled and living in the bondage of it. What you find may happen is that when you forgive or after you forgive; they apologize. And all you did was forgive.
9- Forgiveness is forgetting. Huge lie! I love it when people say forgive and forget because it’s not possible! Why? Well; let’s see: if you forgot where is your testimony in Christ? Seriously; if I forgot after I forgave my biological mother there would be nothing because um well; I forgot. So stop trying to forget and just recognize this: when you forgive your emotional attachment to what happened is released. So you remember but aren’t emotionally charged and experiencing angst about it. It just becomes another event in your life like eating Cheerios yesterday for breakfast.
10- Forgiveness won’t change anything. Lie. Forgiveness changes everything; beginning with who you are. It changes your relationship with Christ, your heart, your thinking; your future. It changes your health, your decisions; and habits. It changes your relationships, your perception of others and their perception of you. It changes families and it changes nations. Forgiveness changes every single aspect. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.
These are just 10 myths of forgiveness. There are more although rest assured these are the ones that befuddle people most often. Remember that you can forgive and you are worth it. Why else would He die on that cross saying ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do?’
For more about forgiveness and freedom watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Before I understood forgiveness I was probably like you; heard to do it and went about life. It was something to give some thought to after a nice sermon by the preacher but that one thing that was never really important enough to actually get put on the ‘to do’ list. As such I never knew that forgiveness is deliverance; and that forgiveness really is your deliverance too.
What many experience in their walk with the Lord are some blessings and a breakthrough here and there; and they are ok with it. Others may take it personal and begin to blame God. “Why isn’t God blessing me with this or that” the proverbial question is. It continues on all the while the same people are blaming the devil and go on the attack on every little thing which sounds super spiritual; although it still is not getting to the point of problem. Breakthrough still is not occurring and it can’t until other choices are made. More often than not you are your problem and hindrance; not the devil and most certainly not the Lord!
When you get to the place of realizing that blaming God or the devil for what you are choosing to not do your life will change. Period. So blaming God isn’t going to solve the problem. He didn’t choose unforgiveness for you- you did. Heck it was Him who choose His Son to die on your behalf! Blaming the devil is laughable because he’s sitting over there laughing at how ignorant you are because you are choosing to rebel against God by being unforgiving; so he wins. All the while you hate and doubt God for your problems he’s just kicking back with his stupid cronies have a good ol time. He doesn’t even have to do anything! He gets you to and then you live in it- and don’t even see it. It’s really time to see it, start moving those mountains and living above and not below because God certainly did not allow His Son to die on that cross to that Christians today can live poor and miserable believing that that is God’s best. That is not so stop wearing misery like a badge of honor.
Psalm 18:21-24 is pretty clear: “For I have kept the ways of the Lord, and have not wickedly departed from my God. For all his judgments were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me. I was also upright before him, and I kept myself from mine iniquity.Therefore hath the Lord recompensed me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his eyesight.”(KJV)
Living in unforgiveness is a choice just as much as living in forgiveness is; the only difference is that unforgiveness is against God. It is rebellion to His Word, His ways; and ultimately His plan for your life. His Word commands forgiveness. There is no way to reroute this and whether you agree or not does not change the Word nor does it change the consequences of disobedience to it. When this revelation is received; your life will change.
Deliverance will come through forgiveness. It is different for every person but rest assured; you will never be the same in Jesus name when you forgive. Never! You cannot be. When you forgive you are relinquishing all of it to the Lord so that He can work through you, in you, for you; and all for His glory and Kingdom. On the other hand; your unforgiveness will only keep you in bongage and that of being a victim, never growing in the Lord or as a person; and your life won’t ever be filled with the peace and abundance that comes with a life lived in Him. As such you will simply be used as a tool for the enemy and really what a waste of life. Don’t lose years like I did being used like that. Move the mountain and start living for Him who deserves it.
Many people pray for deliverance. I get requests all the time from people saying the same thing: “I just want Him to deliver me” and guess what? He will- when ‘you’ apply His Word! Remember it is God who will arm you with strength and make your way perfect; if only you let Him.
For more about freedom in Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
If you know anything about airplanes or flying you know that airplanes also have attitudes; 4 to be exact. While each attitude is different; it represents the direction of the aircraft. As such people are the same; their attitude represents their direction. Whether your nose is up or down your attitude change through forgiveness will be evident and on display. Who knew there was so much correlation to how planes fly to how people behave?
In life as with flying there are ups and downs and changes in directions. The attitude will tell everything others need to know; and much with it is the level of forgiveness there is related. How each are managed will dictate the landing. When people live in unforgiveness the direction of life is downward. One only need to look at the downcast faces of the miserable to see this. When the nose of the plane is down; the attitude is too. Unforgiving people follow suit with the direction of their noses. The negativity, victim mentality, lack of grace and mercy; are all abounding in those who harbor unforgiveness and its cousins. Simply put they are hard to work with, hard to get along with; and not those that you really want in your life. It’s not that they can hold you back as that only occurs if you let it; it’s that they are progressing downward so if this is not the direction you want to go it’s time to change directions! If you are in an aircraft with its nose facing down you probably would escape quickly. The same with the unforgiving people. Abort!
On the other side; when the attitude is up everything is up. In a flight pattern the acceleration upward is exactly that. The aircraft is moving up which is where the nose is pointing directionally. The flight up is filled with more peace and less panic; more enjoyment and less turbulence. When people choose to forgive; their attitude changes as does their direction. Forgiving people have more patience, understand that others and themselves are not perfect and are able to get along better with others. These are the type of people you want working for you and really simply; these are the people you surround yourself with.
The next time you enter an aircraft or see one; regardless of size pay attention to the nose. Where is it? Is it climbing, cruising or heading for a dive downward? Then correlate to you and where you are. Are you climbing toward forgiveness and patience with others, cruising steady forgiving others; or are you heading downward in unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment? The choice ultimately is yours so choose wisely. You would hate to be plunging to toward a crash without even realizing it!
For more about forgiveness and abundant living watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
It’s time to get ready for bikini season; and most hit the gym. Actually; more people join gyms in March than other month although starting now is a great time. The best way to lose weight is to forgive. After all forgiveness is the greatest weight loss and cheapest face lift.
I didn’t really know just how much extra weight I was carrying with me; all those pounds of resentment, bitterness, anger, and you probably don’t either. If you have back pain or arthritis it has an impact. Brittle bones; yep that’s unforgiveness tied to the bitterness. You see; when unforgiveness is released everything that is tied to it is too. And what does that mean? Weight loss!
What’s fascinating isn’t just the internal clutter tied to forgiveness; but rather the number of people on medications for mental health issues. Did you know that 70% of Americans are some form of medication? (http://www.drugfree.org/join-together/almost-70-percent-of-americans-take-at-least-one-prescription-medication-study-finds) When we examine this fact alone; it tells us that we have a larger issue at hand. You see; when you cover something up with medication you are not actually dealing with the issue at hand- the issue is still there. Your depression will be released! Your joy can be restored and the fog removed. Forgiveness will bring your joy back in the name of Jesus. Not only this; the added weight from the side effects of the medication are just added pounds no one needs. (And no I am not saying drop all your medication- talk to Jesus about that!) Oh- and when you forgive your relationship with Jesus changes which of course is the best part- and that alone is freedom! And if you have ever noticed how free people can jump and run; and skip and smile- look around. You will see it. And that is yours for the taking!
When we get to the root issue and actually look at what it is in full detail then we have something to work with. If the issue is within; which most of the time it is because how can it not be. What is inside is reflected outward. It’s time to get real and get with the One who is the Healer, the Redeemer, The Miracle Worker; and stop running. Is it an issue of stress? Hypertension, Arthritis, Resentment, Bitterness, Fear: of change, letting go, moving forward, living, failure, success, abandonment, rejection, you aren’t enough; Panic, anger, divorce, marriage, no children, too many children- or combination of a few? All of this and more will complicate your life and steal years from it. No amount of cover up can truly bring forth a fountain of life. It just can’t!
When you get to the place of being sick and tired of being sick and tired your life will change. I had absolutely no idea what internally was growing and breeding in the depths of who I am. None. I had absolutely no clue how to truly forgive. None. Church told me to forgive but not how so I was faced with doing something I really had never done before. I did it. And I had no clue just how much every single aspect of my life would change; and how much weight I would lose. None.
And so if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you are in the best place you could ever be in. This means you are ready for change. You are ready to let go and move on. You are ready to drop the pounds and start living your life; the real life God intended from the very beginning. You are ready to take back the power that you gave to others by saying no more poison are you going to accept.
It’s time for you now to experience weight loss internally and externally once and for all and for all the days of the rest of your life. That is what happens when you forgive. Going through the full process of forgiveness is literally a death; which would make sense because God’s Word tells us in order to live for Him we must die to self and that’s exactly what happens. You are no longer who you were. You cannot be!
If you want to experience true, genuine weight loss with no artificial ingredients, needles or weight gaining side effects then forgive. Go before the Father and share with Him everything; go find that mountain top. Let Him carry you while your transformation takes place; and the pounds are released. Let Him be the One who does a new thing in you so that you can be lighter, more filled with Him; and live your real life experiencing God in ways you never could before. Do it today as the season for the new you is waiting.
For more about forgiveness and freedom in Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Forgiving is not easy; there is no doubt. The good news is that it is possible! How do we know? Because God’s Word gives us everything we need in order to forgive. As a result there are some steps that you too can take to live your life in forgiveness.
1- Choose to live in forgiveness. While it may sound overly simple; the choice to forgive is one that most don’t think about. They by default live in ‘unforgiveness’. Living in forgiveness is a lifestyle lived on purpose. I never knew that; nor did I know that by default my unforgiveness was a choice. When you choose forgiveness you are choosing life and following in Deuteronomy where it tells us to choose life so that ‘you and your children’ may live.
2- Believe that with Jesus all things are possible. You can forgive and you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength so it reads in Philippians 4:13. So what this means is that not only can you do it; you have someone with you every step of the way. I didn’t recognize that either until I was faced with going before the Lord and actually dealing with it. It was decades of pain and the past that was bottled up ready to be overcome and with Jesus the way was made; and it will be for you too.
3-Remember you are no different than those who hurt you. This is hard to accept at times; especially when people do the unthinkable. It’s hard to not look at what they have done and hold it against them. It’s hard to not judge or be critical; or resent them. I’m not going to lie about this at all! It doesn’t matter if it is cheating, stealing, lying; murder or anything else. Hurt caused by others still hurts. While those things may not be the things that you have done or would do; if you look carefully at yourself are there things that you too have done that aren’t the nicest representation of who you are? Probably right? Now we all say reflect and think ‘yeah well I haven’t done ‘that’ but so what? It doesn’t change the fact that we are all fall short and the moment you compare what you haven’t done to what someone else has; that is the moment vanity and judgment creep in to your heart. When you forgive you are cleaning your heart toward the Lord and allowing Him to take that burden so you don’t have to carry it.
4- Accept and know it is a process. The process of forgiveness is one that takes as much time as it needs. Many believe that simply moving away from the situation is forgiveness; although that won’t work because you are still are who you are- just live may live by the beach. Others say that time heals wounds which is not true either because if it were; there would not so many people up in age that are angry, bitter, resentful and ugly about what did or didn’t occur or what they didn’t get that they should have in the past. The process of forgiveness is one that takes as much as it requires because each person is different, has different hurts; and has a different relationship with Jesus. If someone is pressuring you to just forgive already; know there is a reason and it probably has more to do with them than you. Just go forward with Jesus and know that it is something you need to do and do it at the pace that is in accordance with your walk with Him.
5- Be Quick to Forgive. Being quick to forgive can literally save your life. We all know things in life come at us and some are not what we want at all. What happens though is if you allow all of those things to stay; they will. And the enemy would love nothing more than for you to be angry, sad, resentful, bitter, unforgiving; ungrateful, self-centered and all the other 35 symptoms of unforgiveness. Every act of not forgiving is really an open doorway for the enemy to reside and continue to wreck your life. Don’t think he won’t! He will and every chance he gets he does so; and it’s even in more sly ways than you can think. Being quick to forgive keeps you on the offense and right with Jesus so that you can live your life in peace while advancing His Kingdom.
Forgiveness is not for the faint at heart. It is for those who want to live their Christian life in obedience and more depth in their relationship with Jesus; and more out of life itself. Forgiveness is and should be the standard of life for Christians as it reveals a level of obedience, love for others; and what is in their hearts. Living in Forgiveness will not only change what you see; but how you see and how you live. And it’s time now to start living in forgiveness.
For more about forgiveness and the full life in Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Marriage in current day society has changed from the days and time of those living in the Old Testament. Instead of parents of both the bride and groom negotiating a dowry and wedding date for their children who may or may not have ever met; people today instead do it all on their own and much to their own ignorant destruction. One only need to look at those centered in celebrity magazines with the wedded bliss that lasted barely 24 hours to get an idea of what simply does not work. It is a shame that people have moved so far from God and the plan that He most likely intended for them to rely on their emotions or feelings of the day to make the most important decision of their lives. Looks and bank accounts are what we have come to and what a shame it is!
While many may get some assistance with choosing a spouse; there still isn’t much focus on the overall picture of marriage and how to be married; or what that even means. Instead the focused trend is the ‘bride on her big day’ along with the dress, cake, honeymoon; and all the other ancillary items that make up the one day and a thirty minute ceremony; unless you are Catholic where 30 minutes is just the warm up. While there is nothing wrong with focusing on a wedding and the joyous occasion that it is; where is the groom? Much of societal trends forget that he is a vital component and many more don’t even discuss the day after the honeymooners return from their honeymoon to start their lives together. With much distraction of marriage and choice of spouse should it be any wonder that the divorce rate is higher than 50% for first time marriages and even higher at 60% for second time marriages? (http://www.divorcestatistics.org) One would think that some lessons would be learned in spousal choice after a first failed marriage; however, the statistics prove otherwise. The reason for divorce is irrelevant as the fact that it is occurring is the symptomatic issue. The questions one could ask is why it’s an issue and why it’s not one that is discussed more; however, discussing it doesn’t change it from being true. The focus in this particular piece of writing isn’t about the divorce rates; common questions to ask before getting married; or the excitement of the big day. Rather; the focus here is on the perils of marrying the wrong spouse. If more people truly reflected not on how happy someone makes them feel or how they fee on that one day; or how big of a house they will live in by marrying that person and instead step back and look at themselves and the emotional connection to see the larger picture and purpose and the results of marrying that person maybe wiser choices would be made with the outcome of lower divorce rates and a happier society. There is a purpose for marriage; for you in your marriage and for your marriage. What are the answers to those questions?
The most important peril of marrying the wrong person is outlined in Jeremiah 29:11. It reads: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Many people hear this scripture and yet do not for some reason absorb the importance of it. There is a plan for each person yet most don’t know what that particular plan is! Many who follow certain man made doctrines believe that the only role of a woman is to be a wife; and serve her master otherwise known as husband. Well; the Proverbs 31 woman would clearly be out line! It only takes one to ask Jesus what that plan is if it is not known; else how can one know whether or not he/she fulfilled it on judgment day? By first building a relationship with Jesus and asking what that plan is a person will be in better position to continue forward toward marriage with the right spouse. The person God has in store will come along as you progress toward your purpose. Not only this; it will help you better identify how that new spouse would fit in your and the call God has for you. For those choosing to disregard the importance of this one step it will have drastic impact and effect.
Continuing forward with this particular scripture; if one does know the plan for his or her life and continues to marry the wrong spouse how then could that person continue to fulfill the said plan properly and to full completion? For example; if a single woman knows the plan for her life because it has been spoken to her and confirmed by others and she still chooses to marry the wrong person how can she begin to think that she will fulfill what she has been called to do? It would be almost impossible as scripture also reads that the first ministry is to family. Her new husband may not believe that she has a call or may not be as supportive as the right God-intended spouse would be. If a woman is to be submissive to her husband she has most likely lost her positional status to continue forward with what she was required to do to the full for God because of her new position under the wrong husband. This is not to say that she cannot be used by God; however, it is to say that the wrong choice in spouse will significantly inhibit her ability to do ‘all’ that she could have done if she made the right choice and not settle for less than what God intended.
For a man who chooses the wrong spouse he will be combat-ineffective for God although in different ways. His wife may instead of being supportive and moving together toward what God has called for him; be considered friendly fire. The husband then will have to work out issues with God alone which in some instances would make sense; however, would also leave him requiring and needing more help than he may otherwise. Additionally; he would have to deal with this wife being a distraction that he wouldn’t have otherwise to deal with if the right choice was made. Scripture also is clear in Matthew 18:19 that “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” For the man who marries the wrong woman he is completely at a disadvantage in his prayer life, his relationship with and to his wife; and his responsibilities to God. One wrong choice will have impact that could cause him to suffer the rest of his life.
Being single isn’t the end of the world; it really isn’t. It gives you time to spend with the Lord becoming who He created you to be so that when He appoints that time you receive the person He planned all along. Don’t focus on what you don’t have; but Who you have- and Who you have that is right in front of you.
If you are already married thank the Lord for your spouse. Pray that the two of you are in agreement with Him and that the two of you as one will be able to complete the call on your lives as one; and that He gives each of you individually the detailed plan for your lives so that you are the witness for His Kingdom that gives Him all the glory.
For more about love and forgiveness and walking in the fullness of Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.