How to Forgive Suicide
It’s hard to know what goes through the mind of someone who committed suicide as each person and situation is different; along with the outcome. It changes the lives of the living in ways that one can’t truly explain. It just happens and for most; unexpected. Should there be forgiveness? And to whom? Forgiveness in suicide is something that proves challenging to overcome for the living. Through forgiveness; however, life will get better. While no longer the same; it does continue.
In the situation of Robin Williams; forgiveness is no different. No one truly knows what he was experiencing, how he felt; where he was or why he did what he did. There is only mere speculation. Nothing more. For those who too have been there forgiveness is needed in order to heal. What aspects of forgiveness are needed you ask?
Forgive the person for taking his or her life. What the person did, for whatever reason, still proves selfish on many levels. You are left with nothing. No answers, no understanding; and in some cases no warning, financial security, no mother or father for the children. Nope. You are left with nothing. Unforgiveness toward that person left not dealt with will breed future consequences. Of course it will take time to recover, heal, and begin the process of living again although it is doable.
Forgive yourself for not intervening. Of course there are the ‘if only’s’ that come to mind coupled with the ‘what if’s’ and in reality; there is nothing that you could have done because most likely if you could have – you would have. Those who have suffered great loss at the hands of suicide know this. You know that if there was something you could have done that you would have; all because you love that person. You know that you would have without a doubt put your life on hold for the benefit of that loved one. And after that fact doesn’t change anything. Not forgiving yourself for what you could have done that you didn’t do that you didn’t know needed done won’t bring someone back. It never will. Understanding and recognizing that regardless of what other people do; forgiving yourself is something you can’t not do. Harboring unforgiveness toward yourself will not free you. It will create more bondage and will keep you living in what someone else did that in reality; has nothing to do with you. Forgive and heal.
Suicide is tragic. There are no words to describe the level of emotions that one experiences as a result. There is no way to predict what people will do; or won’t do at any given time. The only thing that you can do is make the choice that regardless of what other people do; you will forgive. It is the best way to live and the biggest gift of life that you can give not only to others but to yourself.
Life is hard. People cheat, lie and steal; all when you least expect it and most of the time by those closest to you. Unforgiveness creeps in without even a scent. Next thing you know; your unforgiving life has caught up with you. It’s a slow death to the grave if you aren’t aware of it.
Unforgiveness is the one heart condition most don’t recognize nor can they just go to a doctor for help; because it’s something that is so undetected that unless you truly understand the depths of it; you can’t possibly understand or grasp in full. As a result unforgiveness keeps people blinded and separated from much in their own lives.
1) Unforgiveness keeps you living as a victim. Everyone has experienced pain, loss, frustration, theft, lies; so what makes you any different than the rest of us? The longer you keep portraying yourself as a victim of either yourself, the past or of others the longer you are going to stay stuck in a lifestyle that breeds loneliness, bitterness; and all of the rest of the cousins. It’s time to be an overcomer and receive all that comes with it! Revelation 3:21 is pretty clear: ‘To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.’ If you can’t overcome unforgiveness then how can you expect to live in full victory or champion status?
2) Unforgiveness keeps you focused on yourself. Unforgiveness is a trap. Those who are unforgiving focus on themselves and the pain that they are still reeling from, haven’t gotten over; and are yet to want to release. Sure it’s hard in a a narcissistic society that we live in; but getting over self is the most wonderful and freeing thing you can do! There are people that need and if you are too busy focused on you that means none of those people in need are being served. The Word tells us in Colossians ‘See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.’ There are times when you don’t even need others to take you captive as your own deception can do it all for you! (Col 2:8) Most believe that because they said the words ‘I forgive’ that it means something yet the symptom of self-focused says otherwise. It’s best to let yourself go in heart, mind and soul instead of being deceived. The Holy Spirit will answer clearly what unforgiveness needs to be dealt with.
3) Unforgiveness keeps you focused on your past. We all have a past. Unforgiveness keeps you focused there, living there; and wanting to build a future there. There is no future in focusing on the past. There just isn’t. The past has served the present for your future. There is a future waiting for you and if you aren’t looking backward you will miss it!
Overall; it’s a mindset and a heart condition. I understand the process of forgiveness as my life to this point has been one big hurdle. Unforgiveness stole much from me and once that revelation hit; my life changed. When I forgave my voice and eye color changed too!
I now have a relationship with my biological mother after 28 yearsand am even blessed with a weekly television show about forgiveness to help others not live like I one did trapped in unforgiveness. It is wonderful to weigh less and see the future. It’s there for you too- just make it a point to forgive and then of course-repeat. Daily.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
People and society will always have an opinion; whether a good one or not is really not relevant. It’s moreso the fact that others think that they have your life figured out when in reality they can’t even function in their own lives.
American society will always try to change you by telling you what you ‘should’ do. The media does it and people don’t get it. There once was a time when the purpose of the media was to report the news; those days are gone. According to the Agenda Setting Theory it was tell people what to think about; now it’s what to think. Now the media just makes the news instead because people are proving incapable of making decisions for themselves. Perhaps you live in Ukraine or Israel and experience the same thing. It probably happens to us all.
And so it goes you have been deceived. You probably have been told what you should wear for the next season. Oh yes if you live in Italy it’s just your custom be so well dressed; whether you feel like it or not. You have been told what car you should drive; what neighborhood you should live in. You probably have been told that by now you should at least be married, if not already divorced with three kids you never wanted in the first place. Oh and you should have at least a BA or BS but in today’s world you really should think about getting that MBA if you expect to go anywhere in your career.
Yep. I heard it all. I heard all the should’s known to man. I dated the man who actually told me, ‘You should dress like her, talk like her, and wear your hair like her. Then you would be beautiful.’ You should have seen his face when I walked out and never looked back. And don’t tell me I should have; unless it was just to see the look on his face. But I already knew.
So it begs the question: are you living the life you should be living? Or are you living the life others think you should be living? It’s a tough question I know. I once was there. I had the Bible teacher tell me that at age 37 I should have a teenager because that is where I ‘should’ have been. There is a systematic order to how life goes you see. Yeah sure. I see the misery on the faces of all the people who followed what others said they should do. It goes the way it is supposed to go for each of us and it’s only until we stop the should’s that we can be free.
If you are trapped into living what others think stop. Forgive yourself and do it quick. God has a plan specifically for you. Jerermiah 29:11 makes it very clear: ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Your plan is for you and you alone. If you don’t know it- get with God. Going to man to ask questions only God can answer makes no sense!
You don’t want to live for others who aren’t even living it out for themselves. That doesn’t even make sense. You are where you are and while it may not be where you want to be; you are the one to change that. No one else. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap that thinking the boring house in the suburbs will answer all your questions when in actuality you are miserable but just biting your tongue waiting to escape. Forgive yourself for not being true to who you were created to be. Life is short so don’t let another day go by where you think about what you should do instead of just doing it.
We all are where we are and the best part is that no one else can get you where you should be except for you. So today; where do you want to go? Where do you want to go that you know you should have gone back then? Write it down. Habakkuk 2 is clear ‘“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets.’ Do it! There is nothing stopping you; no more could’s or should’s. Just you. Get out of your way, forgive, and get to where you are going! You can do it. How do I know? Because I did.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Single people are funny. They just are. Married people are too but not in the way single people are. Single people want to be married yet in order to even get to the status of dating someone that person must meet their criteria list of 1,000 items that simply are not attainable all the while not recognizing that that in itself could be the hindrance. Oh- you have too many stubbles on your face- can’t do that. Nope. It’s not like he couldn’t just shave right ladies? Oh no- too much fat on her thighs; next.
If you are single and want to date and then marry someone are you living with too many expectations of that person you don’t even know? Have you placed so many perimeters on the person that regardless of what changes may occur in that person you have just disregarded him or her? I can tell you from experience- stop. Just stop now. Forgive yourself for thinking that someone else is going to be just like you and that you are so much better than all the others because quite frankly; everyone who is single is really in the same boat. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap and being let down. Forgive the process of dating and what it has done to you. Forgive those who have become before you in the past that played a great game and then left you. Forgive it all for you want to be completely free to love when God brings that right person; should you let Him.
See; when we get caught up in the list of things that a person must have we forget the essence of the person. Don’t you want someone who will love you for who you are- then why would you not get yourself in position to do the same? If you were to be handed your list of 1,000 by someone wanting to date you and said this is what you must have how offended would you be? How many items on the list do you truly believe you would meet? This is where the world and Word have it more than opposite. The world says ‘if you can’t be with the one you love then love the one you’re with’ all the while the Word tells us that ‘but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.’ Isa 40:31. If you claim to be a Believer and then settle for whatever next person has a job and hair it reveals more about you than the God you serve. He is bigger and better than a less option.
You can’t be the ‘I want you to love me just the way I am; muffin top and all- but honey before I love you I need to see a bigger chest and a six-pack’ and expect that will garner you anything of quality. But it’s what the world tells us. Pick any dating site and you will see how easy it is to live in the world of BBD: Bigger Better Deal. It’s all outward appearance based and if you don’t pass the looks test you just aren’t good enough. What a lie that is! We have come to treat people as disposable as a 6 month old cell phone. And everyone is worth more than that!
Now If you want to date someone just like you go date yourself. Period. You will have a ball and no one to argue with or blame when it doesn’t work out. What a perfect life of bliss you will enjoy all by yourself. You will get everything you want right? Have fun in the nursing home!
On the other hand; if you actually want to branch out and meet and date that wonderful person open your mind. Go to God ‘first’. It isn’t about the 1,000 criteria list but rather letting the God who has counted the hairs on your head be your matchmaker. It is about you seeing you the way He sees you to give you whom you are worthy of; and who is worthy of you. Dating doesn’t do that. It leaves people more unforgiving because each wrong person who comes across your path leaves a mark.
Recognize that while that person isn’t 6’1? that 6’0? is ok; especially if either height is still taller than you are. Open your mind to see that while someone may not be where ‘you’ think he or she should be; perhaps that person was just waiting for you to go on that journey there with you. Maybe you are the one God would use to bless that person to become exactly what you have prayed for. Forgive yourself for denying God the right to be God and do what only He can. Open your mind that relationships are a journey and when you don’t see that you miss what it’s about. When you have lost the weight of unforgiveness what you see in others will change. And isn’t it about time for change?
Forgive yourself for being so closed minded because the last thing you would want to do is spend your life judging everyone for not being what you think when in reality; all those people you judged found someone wonderful and left you standing alone. God has the answer. He just does. Sure it may not be when ‘you’ want but so what? It simply means that the process isn’t complete yet for you to have His best. He loved you so much to give you free will; why not use that free will to forgive and allow Him to be your matchmaker and receive His best today. In the end you will be more blessed than you could ever imagine!
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Being a parent is not easy; yet being a child is not. Any parent can attest to that while every child probably can as well. When as children we do not recognize that while parents make mistakes; they are merely doing what they know how to do. Does it make it right? Of course not! The catch is that if you don’t see this; the resentment towards what you did or didn’t get a child will eat you alive. So what do you? Forgive. Sure sounds easy right? I won’t lie- forgiving my biological mother was the hardest thing I had to do; next to honoring her because the Bible commands it.
The problem that I had was that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. I was the victim; literally. My mother told me she was going to get pizza and never came back. I was then placed in a foster home for two years and then adopted into an abusive home. My adoptive parents placed me in a homeless shelter at age 15. The events of my life were because of the choice one person. Her. And I hated her for it. I hated her for what she had done but also I hated her for what she stole from me; my childhood.
It’s not to say that my adoptive parents didn’t provide; but if you are child needing love you need love. You don’t need to be locked in a room with doors on the outside. You need love.
And so I carried that hatred and resentment for so long; decades really. Then in 2006 NYE I forgave my biological and adoptive mother. I forgave them for all the things that they did; abandonment, rejection, the abuse, the neglect and more. Every single ounce I forgave! I had to and perhaps you are in a place of needing to.
After that I sent letters to both of them claiming my victory in forgiveness! No longer would they control me from afar. My biological mother called me and said she loved me and was happy for me. I drove to Houston to take her to lunch. She gave her life to Jesus.
My adoptive mother replied telling me she didn’t realize the pain she caused me. Now; how a parent couldn’t see that is beyond most but not really relevant. She apologized for the first time in my life and whether or not she knew the impact is between her and God. The only thing I was to do was forgive.
The catch is that I thought that was it. I forgave. Move on right? Well; not exactly. Not even close.
As I started building a relationship with my biological mother I started to resent her. The more I learned from being around her the less I liked her; the more I wanted to break away from her. The more I saw her behavior patterns the more soul ties I wanted to get rid of. I wanted to be nothing like her and wanted nothing from her. I resented her because now I was placed in taking care of her when I was the child. I was the victim all over again and I resented that too.
I resented the fact that of all the people in the world ‘she’ was my mother. I resented the fact that she hasn’t drive a car since 1972. I resented the fact that I had to buy her clothes, pay her cell phone bill, but her groceries; and essentially take care of all of her needs outside of her rent. And I resented it. I resented the fact that when she called me she would ask more about my dog than me. I resented the fact that when I asked questions about my biological father she would change the subject. In other words; pretty much everything about her I resented. Perhaps you look at your parents and you feel the same way. Nothing they do is to the level of what they should have done. Nothing from them is what you needed or need and so you resent them. And you can justify it. The catch is that you justifying your resentment doesn’t make you right; it will only make you bitter. And by the way; everyone loves my mom which made me resent her even more! Go figure!
As I went deeper in prayer and study of forgiveness and all of its symptoms; which by the way my count is at 37, I learned that resentment while of course attached to forgiveness yet separate is something that when understood through forgiveness will change you. What I started doing was actually walking in forgiveness. The things my mother did and still does are part of her. The things about her that I didn’t like where part of me.
Once I truly started walking in forgiveness my heart changed. You see; forgiveness yes is an event or act, but it is also a process. Each process toward each act of forgiveness is a process within. That revelation changed me. I just kept forgiving. The more I focused on truly understanding forgiveness and kept doing it; the rest started changing too. I started seeing the beauty in my mother. I started seeing for the first time why people like her and why they like her so much. The whole thing was ‘my’ issue! It was my issue that really had nothing to do with her; but my heart and issue with God.
Parents are parents and children are children. When I learned and understood that my mother was too a victim and she was just doing what she learned from her parents who did the same; it sank in. And who was I to judge her? That judgment would stick with me and not her and who really has time for that?
The resentment is gone and forgiveness reigns between us. My mother is brilliant! She is in the second round of testing to be on Jeopardy and my prayer is that she would be blessed to appear on that program since it is her favorite. My other prayer is that on this day you would forgive your parents for the things you didn’t get that you wanted, and the things you did get that you didn’t want. I pray in the name of Jesus that you allow forgiveness to fill your heart and that you continue to forgive and that you remove the resentment and even all the bitterness so that you can love and honor your parents as the Bible commands. Your days will be lengthened for your obedience. Don’t die before your time because of disobedience. You have too much to do!
The best news is that not only is there forgiveness and love instead of resentment and hate; but a new relationship with more lives changed. You see you have the power to choose how you influence others. I learned that the changes in my life would be changes in my mom’s life would be changes in other’s lives. And that weighs so much more in the big scheme of things.
The lives changed are on the increase without a doubt. My biological mother, Mary, now guest hosts the first Saturday of the month with me on ‘Living in Forgiveness’ where we talk about family issues and help others get rid of the internal clutter; unforgiveness and resentment being the first to do!
So where ever you are or whatever you are doing; living in forgiveness will change your life and that of your parents more than you realize. Don’t late the day or time slip by without making the choice to simply forgive.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live at www.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
As seasons of Housewives on Bravo are ending and new seasons are beginning there is much to see about how unforgiveness plays out in the lives of these women. While fascinating in some ways to see the lavish decorating or parties; they too can be insulting to genuine housewives who live normal lives and who don’t flamboyantly flaunt their behavior and laundry for a price for the world to see.
As the seasons of Beverly Hills and Atlanta come to end; and some say ‘Thank God’ have no fear- there are more to come. And other say to that ‘Thank God!’ but when looking at the goings on of these women there are many lessons in communication, boundaries, speaking, fashion, finances, and much more. Today; however, I bring lessons of how unforgiveness impacts lives of siblings and friendships. Some examples that unforgiveness exists are:
1. Repeated arguments about past incidents. Drama seems to be an underline theme in most of the Housewives programs which would make sense. No drama no ratings. No rating no program. Seriously how much fun would it be to watch families not throw glasses of wine or flip tables over right? In all seriousness though these are people who bring much to the table for great therapy sessions! season after season or episode after episode the conversations appear the same. Arguments over what happened years ago.
In the case of the BH Housewives sisters; the conversations still are about the sale of the parents home; years prior. This is a clear symptom of unforgiveness because it keeps the unforgiving person reliving the events or talking about situations of the past. Until the real issue/s are dealt with; nothing will change. This is evident throughout. If in your family during disagreements someone brings up events from the past in a gunnysacking way; there is unforgiveness still evident.
When forgiveness reigns what someone did or didn’t do is no longer an issue. It’s done. Could you imagine if you go to Jesus and seek forgiveness and then the next hour, day, week, month or year He reminds you of the mistakes you made back then? You would never be able to get out of that bondage! And in the case of these women; it’s no different. They live in bondage of the past. Perhaps you are doing the same.
When forgiveness reigns it’s done. It’s not that you ‘forgot’ as the idea of ‘forgive and forget’ makes absolutely no sense! If you forget then what is the testimony? You wouldn’t have one because well; you forgot.
2. Not accepting or ignoring apologies. When someone apologies it is your choice to accept it or not. It is your choice to forgive and move on. It all is your choice. In the Atlanta Housewives they all continue to speak about that one issue of someone apologizing and it not being heard or accepted; even though ‘I’m sorry’ was spoken numerous times. When someone chooses to not accept an apology with sincerity then it’s clear there is unforgiveness. The person who apologizes is actually doing it and if you believe in your heart you have the right to judge that person’s sincerity you are playing God. Not on this; the Atlanta Housewives all went to therapy to work through their issues and truly didn’t get to the core root of the issue as they are still talking.
Another real life situation that perhaps may speak better to you is that after I forgave my adoptive mother for all the physical abuse and for sending me to a homeless shelter at age 15 I sent her a letter telling her I forgave her. I forgave her for all of it! She replied that she was sorry and didn’t know how much pain she caused me. Now; if you are a parent or anyone who has ever been around children or loves children you may question how someone who abuses children doesn’t know what he or she is doing and that would make sense with one exception. She apologized. Period. Her sincerity of heart is between her and the Lord. My only allegiance is to live in forgiveness and to be right with the Lord. It was and is my choice and it is yours too. When someone apologies you rejecting that apology can bring more unforgiveness to you and who has time for that?
3. Gossip. When there is forgiveness as I have said; it is finished. It’s part of the past. There is no reason to go back and relive it, talk about it; or be slanderous in conversations with others. Of course if someone gossips to you he/she will gossip about you so take that as a lesson. Gossip tells more about the people doing it than the person being gossiped about. If you listen to it you have allowed judgment and critical spirit of others in your heart. Why do that? Gossip about others is a clear sign there is unforgiveness in the mix because those living truly in forgiveness don’t have time to speak negatively about others because their hearts are not filled with such things.
The Housewives bring much for sharing and many lessons for life examination. The hopeful prayer is that they would be filled with forgiveness and live lives moving forward than focusing on things that in the big scheme of life; are small. It’s no different than any of us really. We all have the choice to choose what we focus on and if you don’t understand forgiveness and the symptoms of unforgiveness; you will find yourself living in an unhealthy lifestyle with all the health ailments that come with it. It’s best to just forgive and follow Jesus when He said, ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ and leave it at that.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live at www.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
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Being in ministry is not easy. It comes with a myriad of aspects and components that most wouldn’t think to recognize. Having a television ministry brings an additional level of components that most people don’t experience or deal with. The judgment upon those in ministry and television ministry is something that should not be in existence one to another in the body of Christ; yet it continues to increase. The Word is clear that a house divided cannot stand and right now the body of Christ is proving this to be true.
The judgment of other people in ministry brings dissent among the body. Recently; one pastor asked for financial assistance to purchase a new jet. Outrage has come upon that man for asking and it begs the question why? The questions can be asked: 1) why is it your business what someone is asking for, 2) isn’t it an issue between that pastor, ministry and the Lord, 3) what relevance does it have to anything? See; someone judging someone else for anything doesn’t make you right. Then it leads to ask: what is in your heart that causes you to judge what others are asking for? The ministry by the way already has an airplane and was reported to have flown over 4 Million miles. How many CEO’s can report that many miles flown to do their work? Can you claim that? I certainly can’t!
The other recent situation is between one pastor and an author who are now in legal action regarding who was the first to discover the blood moon phenomenon. Again judgment and division is evident. People are coming against one another and in more and larger ways and until we start to see the bigger picture of it and stop; we will end up crumbling and for what? Judgment upon another? We are called to be the light of the world and when we aren’t others lose out.
Bottom line is this: when you allow judgment and critical thoughts of others in your heart it breeds. Seek forgiveness and do it quick! You don’t want that in your heart. It reveals more about you than what you would ever want. If you are one who has been blessed with a public ministry and you publicly speak negatively about those who are doing nothing more than asking as it reads in the Bible what are you breeding? If you speak negatively about others who are bringing people to Christ then ask yourself what you sowing into your own congregation. What thoughts are those people now thinking that they probably weren’t before. It doesn’t matter if it is about these two situations or simply negative words spoken about anyone. It simply doesn’t. What you speak you are responsible for. And why get yourself into a situation where you are the one sowing discord among believers? Seek forgiveness and then regain your focus as it reads in Colassians 3:2 : ‘Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.’
God has something for you and when your focus is there you will see what God will do in your life and you won’t have to spend time focus what is going on in the lives of others or their ministries. It is a waste of time to get distracted by what others are or are not doing. It too is a distraction to then speak about it in a way that doesn’t uplift or give glory to God.
We are in a time now where unity in all things must be the foundation in the body of Christ. This is not the inclusion gospel but rather a demonstration that in we must stand united and keep a Jesus and His message focus. Every single believer has a ministry regardless of the size. If you are a believer the moment you walk out your door you are in ministry. You have an assignment. My guess is that it isn’t to call out negative things of other ministries or to judge what is in their hearts; but rather to win souls for Christ. When that becomes your real focus you will close the door to judgment and unforgiveness and will open the way for love and forgiveness to reign.
Forgiveness is not easy; just ask anyone. I know forgiving my biological mother for abandoning me was not easy. You have your story and my guess is that your story of forgiveness or the one you are working on is a work in progress. The one commonality is that we all experience hurt. Kerri Rawson is no different. Or is she? You may ask who she is and I share this: Kerri Rawson is a daughter of Dennis Radar. Who is Dennis Radar? The notorious BTK killer. Killer forgiveness for such a day as yet another Friday the 13th.
BTK is simplistic terms is Blind. Torture. Kill. That is what Dennis Radar before his daughter Kerri was born. He is known to have killed 10 people between 1974 and 1991. The manner in which is performed each act is something that no one would ever want to experience; much less want to learn of as a family member. BTK murdered the Oteros – a mom, a dad and two children, ages 11 and 9. BTK tortured victims and sexually defiled several. He even took one person’s body inside Christ Lutheran Church, where he was congregation president. Yes- he was the congregation president!
And so when we look at people, life; and the level of forgiveness required to even get through life one may ask is it even possible? And then one may ask: who is worthy?
People make mistakes. We all do. Some steal paper clips while others have abortions, some cheat; and others commit a few murders. Yet all are guilty in the eyes of the Lord until repentance. Acts 3:19 tells us, ‘19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, 20 and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you–even Jesus.’ The first step is repentance.
When one does acts that are deemed unforgivable in the eyes of man it leaves those with things in their minds as this from Dennis Radar in a recent letter from prison to The Eagle on January 26,2015, “I gave up years ago hoping that someone would forgive me and understand.” Perhaps this is you. Perhaps you are in a place where you have done something so horrific that you have given up. There is hope for you too!
And so it goes in the hearts of man that forgiveness changes lives. The question is though: are you allowing your unforgiveness to change your life? For Kerri she says this to her father:
“I have come to terms with what happened with you and laid it to rest. I am never going to understand it but I forgive you.
“I don’t know if I will ever be able to make it for a visit but know that I love you and hope to see you in heaven some day.”
After that letter to her father, Kerri changed. She said that before she forgave him she thought of herself as BTK’s daughter but after that she saw herself as Kerri.
Who have you become by the sins of the others? Are you allowing what they have done be your identity? It ruled Kerri and for good reason. She was and is the daughter of one of the most notorious serial killers and has to live with that. Now she does in freedom because his sins are not hers. They simply aren’t.
When you reach the point of revelation that forgiveness is there and you show your strength your life will change. If you are a follower of Christ; forgiveness is not an option but a command from the Lord. It starts with repentance and when you understand the importance of it you will see that it’s not a game. It’s not anything to brush off; not ever. Even if it is killer forgiveness.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas, NJ &NY 2/5pmCST on the UANetwork. To watch previous episodes check out:http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
If you pay close attention to what is currently going on in society; you may notice much that is different than in previous generations. Instead of moving forward in love and forgiveness; our society appears to be disintegrating at a higher rate. Until we understand that our individual and collective level of forgiveness impacts future generations we are all doomed to repeat it.
In the recent situation of the OU fraternity boys singing racists songs; outcry is yet again the theme song. Is it right for people to behave in a way that diminishes anyone? Of course not! People everywhere have opinions and none can escape this. Whether someone is or is not a racist; is not a crime. It really isn’t. What it also isn’t is cancer. Nope. It is not cancer. It is a heart condition. Simple as that. And when we get this we can start moving forward to the ‘real’ issue.
See; the kids on the bus said they were singing a song they were taught. Sad; but true. It was taught somewhere. So it begs the question; what have you been taught? Taught to love all? Or taught to love those like you? Taught to hate? We all have been taught something in our lives and until we truly look in the mirror and see ourselves and focus on what it is we have been taught- we won’t know exactly what it is we are teaching our children who will be teaching their children and their children’s children.
And so in society; we have a media who just loves stories that propagate all the hate, riots, slander; and unforgiveness because that is obviously what sells. If it didn’t they wouldn’t exist. But it is just blame the media? Of course not. You can turn off your television and live another way! You my dear friend and reader; have the power. You do! When you recognize this you can be the change. Until you do though; you can’t be.
Our future generations are in need. They are in need of being taught that love and forgiveness is the way of life. Jesus died on the cross and as He was He said, ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ and how sad that we are still proving today that we don’t have a clue. How sad that we have young kids who in all their ignorance sing songs about people based upon color. And then how sad is it that those same kids and their families get death threats because of it. Those with a heart condition need love not hate and death threats! And until we see that we need to clean our own hearts individually and collectively; how can we help those who are going to need it to raise up their own future generations?
The Word tells us in 2Tim 3: “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires,7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected.9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
There is no getting around God. There is no living one way while proclaiming another because what is in the heart comes out the mouth so it reads in Proverbs. What lies of people were you taught growing up that have distorted your thinking? What lies do you need to rebuke to walk in love and forgiveness? What heart condition do you need free from to live your life freely loving as Jesus did? Find out today and make the changes. It won’t even cost you a co-pay. It’s a simple time of self-reflection and adjustment to ensure that what you are doing is for the good of those who are watching, needing and following you. You have a responsibility to others and more to yourself. Don’t allow your level of unforgiveness to be what others are living out; because as we can see with the kids on the bus from OU; that is what they have done.
For more about forgiveness watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ on Saturdays at 2/3pmST. For previous episodes watch here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Politics tends to get in the way of too much in our society. Politics in schools, relationships, business, the Church; and now even with couples who want to foster children. When are we going to set the politicking aside to see the bigger picture of what we are doing? When are we all going to start living in forgiveness and stop creating such chaos that simply creates more division among people, cities; and the great USA?
Case in point: Brian and Valerie Wilson of Nevada are denied the right to foster childre. The reason? They have state issued firearm permits; and they have firearms. In order to own firearms legally one must go through the process and this couple did; however, nowthey are not deemed appropriate foster parents. Since when does one have anything to do with the other? Perhaps those on welfare should have their children taken from them because they don’t work? Perhaps those with swimming pools too should have their children taken away because well; children can drown? And perhaps anyone with a vehicle should not be allowed to parent either because a child may get behind the wheel or suffer an accident. Perhaps parents who work should not be allowed to foster either because they would have to work and not be at home 100% of the time. Or better yet; if parents have hobbies of archery, 4-wheeling, or baseball too should not be able to foster children because those may be seen as weapons. Never mind the children needing placement. Oh and no don’t let couples wanting to foster have dogs or cats either! Let’s just disallow people from being parents because of politicking. Why not? It seems to become the American way!
While this may not have any relevance to you; it does to me and let me share why. I lived in a foster home. I lived in one for 2 years. My foster parents wanted to adopt me but someone behind a desk who pushes paper deemed the family that loved me that I grew to love as being ‘too old’ to be parents. So after 2 years I was removed! And that is what happens when politicking gets in the middle of lives. People get hurt and devastated; but never mind that right? Children are wanting to be adopted but because of the politicking are left in foster homes only to age out of the system. They end up with more emotional issues than one can imagine but again; it’s all about politicking and laws to ‘protect’ people right? I know first hand what it’s like to be in a place of wanting a family and seeing my foster parents Bob and Emily do everything they could to keep me; but to no avail. Thanks politics.
So here we have families wanting to help and yet politics keeps them from doing so. Should this be a shock? I guess when you look around no. When- and at what point are we going to get out of own way and forgive one another for the laws created just because of what we don’t like or don’t want to side with? When are we going to stop being against this or against that in the name of a political party and just stand together for what is right for those who cannot stand for what is right on their own? Does not the US Constitution have any meaning in the land of the free? Or have we come to such a place where you can have the right to own a firearm you just have all of your other rights stripped away from you because yet again; we have to play politics?
Until we as a people and country start standing together with one another in love and forgiveness instead of against one another we will continue to have what we have. Politics, backbiting, hatred, riots; divorce, suicide; and everything else that we are seeing negative at increase in higher rates. Until we get that we have got to get over ourselves we are going to have more problems and the saddest; is that those coming after us are those who will be suffering the most. On this day; forgive yourself for playing politics. Forgive yourself for not standing up for those who aren’t able to. Forgive yourself if you are lawmaker bought at a price that is worthless in the big scheme of things. Forgive and pray for families who want to foster, who want to adopt and for those who need adopting. With more than 300,000 children in need if we let politics rule; we all miss out. With forgiveness, love and prayer in our hearts we can not only change our own lives; but the lives of our neighbors,communities, cities, regions, nation and the world. So stand with me in love and forgive. And pray that Nevada changes the laws to help those who want to help be of help.