Hope Through the Holidays
The holidays are known to bring three things to people: cheer, stress; and sadness. If you see the holidays in a different light perhaps hope can be added to list.
For many who have families it’s a time of gathering and enjoyment. Cheer is among them. Sometimes you want to just trip them in all their happiness; although it wouldn’t matter because they are just happy. It’s a shame that it isn’t like that every day of the year and that it boils down to this one day but I digress.
The stress of the holidays is something that is quite fascinating to me. Christmas comes the same day each year so it’s not like people don’t have time to plan. It’s no surprise that it’s on the calendar and while it may seem that it comes quicker each year; does it? Maybe implementing a better plan in July would be of help to alleviate the stress so that life can be more cheerful. Maybe? Or maybe it’s just the stress that is part of the holiday celebration. If that is the case you can have it!
Lastly; the sadness that is evident everywhere is something that can’t not be discussed. There are many who have no one, family is far away; finances are tight; the weather is as cold as the hearts of passersby. I could go on but you get the idea. It makes sense that this would be a time that many would prefer to sleep through with a bottle of gin. I certainly get it.
You see; I experienced time in my life being the outsider. I was placed in a homeless shelter at age 15 and nothing I knew was the same. I was in a place in the world where I was alone. Alone. Alone for many years on the inside. And guess what? I survived! And you will too!
I met my biological family years later and it was an adjustment without a doubt. Each family and person has their own ideas of the holidays and they all bring their own expectations to the table. This- is the largest problem. Having an expectation of what something should be when it’s not what it is is only a set up for failure. I lived it. I created something in my mind to be what I thought would make me happy and guess what? When others didn’t meet my expectation of it I was not happy. Go figure.
If this is you make this Christmas a good one. You don’t have to have a bunch of stressed out family members to enjoy the holiday. You just don’t. You don’t have to focus on the loss of family members for the 10th year when you could be celebrating instead the life you had with them. Life goes on and living in the past doesn’t help you go forward.
You don’t have to bask in racking up more debt for gifts for people you don’t want to buy for or can’t afford. You just don’t. It’s a scam. Why spend the next year paying off debts that need not be?
You don’t have to live in hopelessness because you think you are alone. You are not. There is One who is with you regardless of whether you want to acknowledge Him. He is there and He always has been. It took me a very long time to grasp that. Once I did my life changed.
For you there is hope. There is hope for a future. There is hope for magnificent brightness in your life. Christmas is but is one day that comes and goes and if you really do your research you may be surprised as to what you learn about the holiday itself. You are too good to wallow over what you don’t have as I am sure you have more to celebrate than you think. Once I got over myself I realized I did.
I came to the reality years ago that I had the choice to be hopeful or hopeless and I chose hope. Hopelessness leads to defeatedness and there is no way I am going to live defeated because of one holiday that isn’t even about what most people celebrate it to be. How about you? You can too live in hope and bring it to others.
You can be where ever you are and be a light. You can be the smile that others never see. You can be the merry person you are just because you choose to be. I’m sure if you look around there is something with less then you. Less family, less presents, less income; less of everything. I’m sure those with less are still smiling- and isn’t it time that you put on your cape of hope and stand tall and know that this too shall pass? Because my friend; it always does.
Life is hard; there is no doubt. People lose their jobs, they dump each other with no explanation, they can’t drive in bad weather; credit card interest rates increase, parents age. Fast food isn’t food. Life is just not the bowl of cherries that most thought it was.
As a result people start living in ‘Once I’. I’m sure you know how it goes: ‘Once I am married life will be great. Once the kids are gone we will travel. Once I get my promotion my career will be on track. Once I win American Idol I will be someone. Once I pay off my credit cards I can get that new vehicle. Once I lose weight I will be pretty. Once I buy a house…….’
The sad thing about living in this mindset is that it’s a trap. There will always be something after the one ‘Once I’ that keeps you where you are. What if instead of ‘Once I’ it was changed to ‘I am’?
‘I am living life for today. I am great as a single person. I am traveling even though I have children. I am enjoying my career now. I am someone. I am……’
I fell into the trap too. I used to think that once I graduated with my degree that life would begin. I used to think that once I started my career as a speech professor that life would be great. I used to think that once I made my first million that everything would be easier. I used to think that that once I met the wonderful man God has for me life would be complete. I used to think that once I got to the next place that life would be better than it was. In reality; it only proved that I was never living in the moment of where I actually was or am.
So what about you? What are you not seeing that you could be because you are living for a place you are not even at or don’t know if you will ever get to? Are you living in ‘Once I’ thinking that it will be better? And what about it will be so? You will still be who you are although just perhaps more of it. Why not spend the time today living for what and who you are becoming instead of waiting for a perpetual cycle of ‘Once I”s that never end? In the end you will see there is more life in it than what you have thought!
Thanksgiving has come and gone. It’s time now for people to start really freaking out about Christmas. The stress kicks in to high gear and the preparations are a must. So much to do so little time; never a moment to stop as it would be a crime. Such a shame that people live not only the holidays like this; but every day of the year.
How are you living? Are you living daily? Are you living for a maybe one day? Or perhaps a someday? In the end by living this way aren’t you just short living? There is no living in living for something that may be at some point but never is in the now. The recent too soon death of Paul Walker from ‘Fast and Furious’ at only age 40 should be a wake up call and question for us all. Ask yourself, ‘Am I living?’ Or is more like just just one day closer to death? There is a difference in case you did not know.
What are some things you can do today to start living? Simple:
1- Pay attention to what you pay attention to. This one simple thing can put everything into the right perspective. While you can’t get more than 24 hours in a day; you can cut out things that don’t bring fruit and get time in other areas.
2- Embrace those next to you. You never know when they or you will be gone. Wouldn’t you hate to forget to say and do what would mean the most when you had the chance?
3- Live according to your own motto. Others will always have opinions about what you do; however, you are the only one living with the consequences of what you do and don’t do. Start living your life for you as you can’t live it for others.
4- Enjoy it. If you are not enjoying your life; why not? You have the power to choose to make the change. If you struggle in figuring out what you would enjoy make a list of things you would like to try; and then go for it! You won’t regret all the things you never try.
5- Give your life to Jesus. You never know when your time is up and while you may not think you need Him; you would hate to learn after the fact that you actually did. You may not believe me; and that is ok. I just would not be doing you a service but not sharing the fact that life is short and Jesus is there; waiting for you. Yes I’m sure you are the most wonderful person in the world; but it still doesn’t mean anything more than this.
Every day we are reminded that life is short. It is fleeting. It goes by faster even though each 24 hours is still 24 hours and now is the time to reflect on this day what you are doing with each of your 24 hours. I know for me personally; I want to do more. I want to live more, share more, give more, love more, eat more finer foods; be more and build more. How about you?
I recently heard a story about a man who taught children in small village in Africa. The children loved learning even though their learning supplies were quite sparse. So sparse in fact the only thing the children had was a pencil and paper. No; there were no ipads, androids, televisions; or anything else. Simply a pencil and sheet of paper.
The teacher asked one student to borrow his pencil and the student willingly obliged. Later that afternoon the student needed it back and the teacher not recognizing its importance realized he misplaced it. He did manage to replace it to the child and reflected for a moment about what it must mean to that student to have only one pencil.
While its simply a pencil; it was the only one the child had. To him it meant everything. To the teacher; it was disposable so its value wasn’t the same.
Looking at that for a moment; how often in life do we only have one but take it for granted? One spouse instead of a new one tomorrow. One vehicle instead of trading in for the newer model. One good friend instead of thousands of facebook falsies. One life to live instead now instead of waiting for one day. The only one you have is the only one you have.
For the child the pencil was the only one he had therefore he cherished it. He carried it with pride. That pencil had a special place in his heart. It was after all; the only one he had.
In your life; what is the only one you have? Is it your spouse? Your dog? Your best friend? I challenge you to reflect for a moment about living life without it; and then start living like it’s the only one you have.
I’m asking you! Sure it may be the economy that has you down; or a myriad of things that can be reasons but it still is a question for reflection.
It’s incredible that there are so many who push the ‘feminine’ agenda and all about the power of women unless it’s the likes of Sara Palin or Maria Kang; or those who are prettier than they are. Why ladies; can we all not come together to celebrate the essence of women instead of hating each other? Don’t we get enough of this from television commercials, men, religion; and everything else? It’s a worldwide issue and we together have the power to make it stop. It doesn’t matter if you are in Australia, Saudi Arabia, Canada or Tokyo it’s all the same,
The latest story of of the 32-year-old Maria Kang who is a fitness model and former beauty pageant contestant-oh and military wife and mother of 3. She posted a picture wearing workout attire with her children asking ‘What’s Your Excuse?’ The backlash she has received is enormous! The question is ‘why do so many women care what other women are doing’? Why are you giving so much time hating one woman when you could be loving yourself?
For women who want to or say they want to embrace each other; stop the bickering. Stop the backbiting. Stop focusing on what other women are doing. Stop comparing and blaming everyone else for your body image issues. Just stop it.
Women need to look at women for who they are. Maria Kang is a military wife, she is a mother of 3; and she is judged for what she looks like. If you feel bad about yourself after looking at models or beauty queens; then stop looking at it. If you know eating fries isn’t healthy; then stop. It’s that simple.
So long as women judge women for being too big or small; for being too pretty or ugly we will never advance. We will never be friends. We will never be in business together. We will never get past the small-mindedness of talking and gossiping about people to the level of speaking about ideas and ventures.
Ladies let’s get past what we think other women should be doing or looking like and start focusing on what we individually can and should be doing for the best change in our lives. Let’s stop the misogyny and celebrate women together. Don’t you agree?
The best way to get something different in life is to take the steps. It’s not that hard; once you get your mind in order.
Here are a few ideas to help you get started:
1- Think about what you are thinking about. How much time do you spend thinking about terrible the U.S. economy is, the disasters here or there, the Saints first loss of the season, the cost of everything; and all the other stuff that is just plain negative. Get away from it to get that positive mindset as you can’t live without it!
2- Look at what you are looking at. Are the images of skinny models wearing you down? How about vehicles or houses that you can’t afford? People on facebook living life and traveling? Regardless if what you are looking at is it not manifesting positive and good things in your life; why give your eyes to see it? Once you see it its imbedded so why bother? Don’t you need the time to do something else more productive; like live?
3- Listen to who you are listening to. Who is telling you that you aren’t good enough? Tall enough? Pretty enough? Wealthy enough? If you feed your mind garbage it will crave it. If those around you are negative and complaining then surround yourself with people who aren’t. There will always be someone selling you the lie that you are never good enough. Shut it down.
4- Taste what you are actually eating. If you actually stop long enough to taste what you are putting in your mouth- what does it taste like? Do you know? Coca Cola was just busted for advertising that sugar alternatives in their products are safe. “Our use of high-quality, low- and no-calorie sweeteners, including aspartame, allows us to give people great-tasting options they can feel good about.” Sure because a knockoff of anything is always better than the original. If you want to taste the good in what you are eating and drinking; then perhaps eating and drinking good things would be a great place to start. Oh and If you can pronounce them and their ingredients that’s even better!
Regardless of where you are or what you are doing change starts with you. If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired then change it. Don’t spend your life talking about it; as no one cares about what you talk about. They will only care when you are up and making the change that they wish they could have made.
Most people dread Mondays! It’s traffic, being late, back to the routine of life and all the other stuff that people experience. It’s all in the thought process. Mondays are good. They just are. Say it with me: “Mondays are great!” See, I knew you could do it.
Here are 5 reasons why Monday’s are great:
1- You are one step closer to your dream, vision; or goal. Last week is gone so why not celebrate Monday and have a positive attitude about it?
2- You may not be where you want to be; but you aren’t where you used to be. Most people look forward to Friday all the while missing the reality that most of what is going to get them to their ultimate dreams typically starts on Monday and ends Friday.
3- It’s the start of a new week; unless you start your week on Sunday. New beginnings are always wonderful.
4- For men: Monday night football. For women: Dancing with the Stars. I couldn’t resist.
5- If you are experiencing it it means that you are still alive. Isn’t that one reason enough?
Bottom line is that if you are constantly looking forward to any other day but the one you are experiencing you are never really experiencing life at the moment you are living. It’s time to stop focusing on the specific day and start focusing on the life you have to live!
There are three types of people in this world. It doesn’t take much to identify which you are; and of course which you want to be.
Let’s examine:
1- Those who make things happen: These are the early risers who recognize life is short and needs to be lived. These are those who don’t procrastinate, don’t hold back; and don’t let opportunity slide by. They are opportunistic, creative, assertive and visionaries. Think John Maxwell Albert Einstein, or even Phil Robertson.
2- Those who watch things happen: These are the people who tend to be more methodical although to a fault. Life is to be lived; and with this group more time spent watching things happen and less time making things happen. Some symptoms of this are analysis paralysis, indecisiveness, fear of failure or success, self-esteem issues and more. Sure there are those who may argue the point but most likely if they were trying to they would be in the category of making things happen so it’s a moot point.
3- Those who wonder what happened. It happens so quick to those who aren’t paying attention. Life goes by, the kids graduate college; and here this group of people are scratching their heads wondering what happened. It’s a shame because there is so much the world is missing from them and if only they would get it; the world could and would be a better place. Their symptoms include lack of direction, vision and purpose, fear of achieving, approval seeking, self-doubt, procrastination and others.
Which are you? Do you see yourself in more than one category or not one you want to be in? Regardless of where you are; your life is waiting for you? Go live it. Start today and make it happen in the way that only you can!
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