In the wake of tragedy or any life event that hits the hearts of people typically one of two things occur: they either turn toward God or turn from Him. One is in seeking understanding, peace and solace while the other too is seeking of understanding although in more of a justification of proving that God is a god of hate. The question based upon the latter is what happens when you believe God hates you? I can answer that.
Growing up I experienced dysfunction on many levels. With my biological mother as a toddler we lived in a car and then she abandoned me. As a child being ripped away from my mother and put into the back of the black car on that day with no toys or blankets with the CIA looking people I experienced rejection and its damaging effects beyond what any toddler ever should. If a mother doesn’t love her child then how could God? If God is love and my mother left me then did He not fill her with the capacity to love? And why was I the one who suffered because of it? For years I couldn’t grasp the love of the Father because of the lack of love from both mother and father.
Now on the flipside I spent 2 years in a foster hone where they truly loved me and I loved them. It was beautiful; probably what most experience in life as children. I was happy and had a family although it wouldn’t last. I was taken from that family too; the one that loved me but at least I had the experience. I was graced with the experience of love and it was beautiful; I just wish it lasted longer. The only reason why it didn’t was because the court paperpushers deemed my foster parents Bob and Emily Dedmond too old to be adoptive parents. How stupid is that? You can keep a child and love it but someone else determines whether or not you are fit because of your age. And so again what was up with the so called God of love? Was I just the one He chose to pick on for some reason? Was it because it was Tuesday? Or just Sunday?
I was adopted and that too simply revealed to me another level of God’s either distain for me or just His pure evil sense of humor. But here is the thing: I get it now. And I pray in Jesus name that you get it too.
I was reminded of the night when I was 5 on my knees newly adopted praying that Jesus would be my escape. Now; don’t ask how I knew 1) to pray that or 2) who Jesus was as I can’t answer that. What I do know is that in the midst of every trial and triumph He has been with me and He has been there with you too. His Word tells is in Psalm 27 that He will never leave you nor forsake you. That means ‘never’. And so what happens when you think God hates you? I’ll tell you. You will live like it:
1- Your ability to love will not be evident. It is not possible to love without Jesus for His is love. There is a difference of living in love and hate and when you turn your back on the Lord you stop all flow of what is good because His Word also tells us that He withholds no good thing. Love is a good thing and without it; there is nothing. Absolutely nothing.
2- Your outlook will be death and not life. Have you ever been around someone who sees the glass empty? Forget half full but just empty. And of course it’s cloudy too and dirty and funk filled on the bottom. Yep. No life because there is no God. Death is all consuming just as life is yet one produces and multiplies and the other steals and diminishes. When I believed God hated me I lived in turmoil of a downward spiral because of the pain. It was the lies I believed and not the Truth that kept me with the devil’s outlook. I was in essence; a tool used by the devil.
3- You will find every way to justify the wrong to prove His hate. Oh yes this is a big one dear reader. When things go wrong it’s so easy to find all the other wrong things. I did that for years; decades to be exact. Unforgiveness is the open doorway that also keeps your eyes distorted to the truth. It’s easy to see everything negative when you are looking at it. And of course God is just a god of hate wrong because people choose sin and turn their backs on Him never mind the free will part of the equation. Everything in my life for so long was just to justify how right I was in saying God hated me and sure I had enough ammunition to prove it; although I can surely attest that I have more to prove He is a God of Love instead.
4- Your life will lack joy, purpose, peace and direction. When you turn your back on God where will you go? What will be the purpose of your life? Spreading death? Sure right; because what else would you produce? It’s not like there would be joy or purpose when God hates you so you think in your mind. It can’t be right? God created you for a purpose and without Him how can you know that that purpose is? It’s not like the universe really is going to tell you- let’s be real. The God that created the universe is bigger than the universe so trying to go to something lesser of God is a waste of your time. Just go to the God of world and you will see. But yet if you think He hates you the lies will take hold and keep you trapped. Rebuke the lies as you are worth more than that!
5- You will move further from Him. When you believe and receive the lie that God hates you; you will only move further from Him. You can’t move closer now can you? Think about it: if you hate someone or believe someone hates you it’s not like you are going to edge closer right? What would be the point? And so on it will go you moving closer from the Lord because you experienced the issues of life or a tragedy that disrupted it. It happens to us all I can assure you. You are not alone and sometimes it’s the tragedy that is used to bring is closer to Him. Don’t lose that opportunity by letting lies become truths.
6- Your days will be shorter. When you think God hates you your days will be shorter. Not only this they will be shorter on so many levels. Your purpose-smaller. Your joy- less. Your outlook-tiny. So what is lengthened? Nothing. Living for death isn’t living so know that God is on your side and He has the best in store for you. Just look up and you will see. I did and it’s beautiful.
7- You will miss out on experiencing and seeing the beauty and heart of God. For the longest time I couldn’t understand how this God; this oh so powerful God would let children suffer. I couldn’t understand why He would allow me to experience such pain and loss day in and day out. Why would He allow abuse, loss of a baby, loss of loved ones; lack poverty pain. Why? I struggled with that for so long because I just didn’t get it. Until one day I did.
You see; it wasn’t His intent at all for us to experience it. Go back to Genesis. Read the beginning and you will see. God created us to be in relationship with Him and for us to experience His love. Because of the choices of Adam and Eve (which by the way her name didn’t come to be until after they disobeyed) we are born into sin. We are born into a nature of rebellion. We are born with choices to think what we want and to accept the Truth or the lies. When I started understanding and receiving that God loves me and that He doesn’t hate me my entire life changed.
God is on my side and He’s on yours too. In the midst of trials and tragedy He is there; wanting to comfort you-to give you peace. Remember He gave His son for you so He too knows loss and the emptiness which is something I hadn’t thought of myself for a long time. God wants more of you than you can imagine so He can pour more of Him into you. Let Him. Let Him show you just how much He loves you. You will never be the same in Jesus name.
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Today’s Scripture
Romans 8:31 ‘What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?’
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Forgiveness Tip #15
Forgiveness shows others you love them more than hate their mistakes.
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Julie Blair is President of Julie Blair Ministries and host of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ television and radio programs that airs daily to over 3 Billion people on 5 continents. To learn more about forgiveness and the love of Christ or to speak to your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
As society has made everything about self; forgiveness has been in the mix too. Many people prescribe or even advertise forgiveness as just the next feel good method; all about self. Forgive so that you feel better. Forgive so that you can move on. Forgive. Forgive so that you can this or that. What most don’t recognize though is that the purest forgiveness isn’t about you. No. Forgiveness isn’t about you.
Our society has misplaced what is right and wrong, what is moral and immoral and it’s become all about self-pleasure, self-indulgence and self-righteousness. And forgiveness will help you continue to live in that smell of euphoria. But lets get real: Forgiveness isn’t about self. it’s about overcoming self! And therein lies the reason why so many aren’t getting it. Let me explain what forgiveness is truly about:
1-Forgiveness is about your obedience to Christ. Period. When you make forgiveness about you where is God in that? If it were all about you then you truly would not need Jesus as your savior. You would be your own God as many believe they are.
We as a society have the motives entirely wrong. Forgiving just so you can feel better isn’t what it is about at all! It’s so much bigger than you. It’s about the Jesus who died so that you could be free! Your obedience to His Word is the only way to become free. And you don’t need any type of drug to be free. Your freedom is the free gift with purchase; of His blood. With this said; you will feel better when you forgive although that is merely a benefit of the act of obedience in forgiving and not the reason that you should forgive.
Remember that the Lord knows the purity of your heart; He knows your motives. Are your motives just doing something to get something? That is works based and no different than the message of the Law and what the Pharisees followed. If your heart is after Jesus and your heart is focused on being obedient regardless of the cost then forgiving is just part of that. As you enter the process of forgiveness you will experience that you are stronger than you think because your motivating factor will be obedience working for you instead of your emotions and feelings working against you.
2. Forgiveness is about overcoming yourself through your obedience to Christ. It’s hard in a society to recognize that we really are that self-absorbed but if you look around closely you will see it. The good news is that it is possible to overcome yourself and even more possible to live in the rewards of it! In revelation 3:21 it tells us, ‘To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.’ Now we know that Jesus overcame death on the cross and that it was His obedience that led the way.
We are no different and our obedience to Christ above all is what we must get. It is clear that our society and even many church sermons have dumb downed the messages in recent decades to preach whatever the people want to hear; whatever makes them feel good and tithe more. In doing so we have lost souls because the severity of God’s Word means nothing. Repentance means nothing and what has been celebrated instead is that Jesus approves of everyone doing everything; regardless of it is sin or not. We can’t continue to send this deceitful message because it will only prove to kill more than it already has.
When we get that forgiveness is a command and that in forgiving we are demonstrating that we are overcoming the pain, the past; the whatever life has brought to overcome by obedience to Him. We in essence are not allowing unforgiveness to rule and justify our sinful behavior while focusing on everything else other than Jesus Christ. We are instead going to see the larger picture of life and what it really means when it is written that He came to set the captives free that we are free indeed. In order to stay that way and live as an overcomer though will require obedience above all. And remember that obedience; is worth more than sacrifice. And you are worth giving that to the Almighty.
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Today’s Scripture
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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Forgiveness Tip #13
Forgiveness is about your level of obedience to Christ.
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Forgiveness is one of those things that many talk about; but don’t apply. It’s turned into one of those little motivational quotes images seen throughout social media. It’s just oh so sweet like apple pie but let’s get real. There is a real side to forgiveness and it’s time that we as a society stop placating it and get with the reality of what forgiveness is. There is a truthful side to forgiveness. The truthful side of forgiveness is what most don’t talk about and for a variety of reasons.
The truthful side of forgiveness is what must be examined otherwise what’s the point? What is the point of one more blog that just says ‘oh brother and sister forgive’? You already know that! It’s been preached for how many decades yet still believers tend to skip that part and then wonder whey they are broke, busted and distrusted or disgusted. It’s seriously time to stop with the sweet usery of God’s Word and start understanding the reality of the truth of it to the full along with the consequences of just disregarding it because you just don’t feel so good about doing that today. Oh yes is that not for today either? Forgiveness is and it’s time to we get it and start living as overcomers otherwise Christians worldwide will be more of a laughing stock than we already are.
So what is the real side of forgiveness?
1- Forgiveness is a command not an option. Our society has dumbed down God’s Word to where the ‘Dummies’ guide needs a guide because of what people have made of God’s Word. Forgiveness is not a joke; it’s not an option when you just feel like it; and it certainly isn’t something to take lightly. It’s crazy how many people hear the message and then return home to their bitter lane and life and wonder where God is. Yeah- God isn’t your problem- your pure rebellion and disobedience is. God’s Word gives you everything for abundant living and forgiveness is the command to get there; oh and yes along with the first which is love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul. And love your neighbor as yourself. So let’s stop mocking His Word and start taking it serious shall we and then become obedient to forgive even when we don’t want to? https://julieblair.com/the-command-to-forgive/
2- Forgiveness isn’t about you- it’s about your obedience to God. Many people simply forgive so they fell better which sounds oh so holy and noble right? Oh yes ‘I wanted to lose weight so I forgave’. Sure. I get it. It is what happens when you forgive although that is a purely selfish motive in the big scheme of things. The scientists of today propagate all the health reasons to forgive but yet they miss the entire point which takes me back to #1. It’s a command. So therefore if you are only forgiving just because you want to feel better well then good for you. You just showed the Lord your motives and how do you think that makes Him feel? How would you feel? It isn’t about living under the law any more thank God! So when you go to the Lord to forgive it should be because you want to be right with Him more than you want to lose whatever weight you have gained through you active disobedience. Then you will be set free. And of course this makes sense because His Word tells us remain focused on Him and not ourselves.
3-Forgiveness is about Christ and His Kingdom- not yours. I know it’s hard to hear or read that it isn’t all about you but it’s the truth. Our society has turned life itself into a selfie and where is there room for God? When you honestly go before the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings to declare forgiveness and repent for unforgiveness you will walk away with a testimony for His Kingdom- not your own. You can’t even have forgiveness without Christ so let’s just get real about it. Without Jesus Christ in the midst of your forgiveness you are just working yourself to some form of self-glorification and don’t we already have enough of that in our society?
As you can see forgiveness isn’t a joke. It isn’t a game. Jesus didn’t die so you could go take a selfie of how great your little mind will tell you that you are. Oh no. He died for you and the life that comes through Him. There is no way to get to the Father but through Him and whether you accept that or not isn’t my issue but rather His Truth. So if you want the full life that comes with being a follower of Christ then it will require you to understand that it is because of His love for you that you are here. It is because of His selflessness that you are here. It is because of His blood that you are here. And so just mocking Him by disregarding His Word or just using it for your own glory is not going to anything but reveal what you are. And if you want it to be revealed what you are don’t you want it to be one who loves the Lord, who lives in forgiveness and one who is obedient above all regardless of cost?
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Today’s Scripture
Proverbs 18:10 The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
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Forgiveness Tip #12
Your strength to forgive will come through your obedience to Christ.
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Julie Blair is President of Julie Blair Ministries and host of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ television and radio programs that airs daily to over 3 Billion people on 5 continents. To learn more about forgiveness and the love of Christ or to speak to your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
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There are many reasons why people run from forgiving and then the are reasons people have for justification of it. It took me forgiving though to actually see it. Oh the irony! Recognize that there are reasons why people justify not forgiving and perhaps you have taken on one or a couple of these.
1. They don’t deserve it.
Whether you believe someone does or does not deserve forgiveness is not your decision or judgment call. Praise God! If it were your decision how many people would be forgiven? If it were up to others to decide your fate of forgiveness; where would you be? Imagine for a moment if God never forgave you; where would you be? In this exact situation you may be in a place that you do not want to be because you are choosing to harbor unforgiveness. Forgiveness is a command and it is not about anyone else. It is about your choice to be obedient to God’s Word for the purpose of glorifying Him.
What you believe someone else deserves is not your decision as God probably did not create you to judge the people in the universe as He is God and can handle it just fine. Sometimes we just need to grasp that reality that God can handle things and all we need to do is just be obedient and let God be God. When that reality sinks in and our obedience level increases; our relationships change and the fruit becomes more evident in our lives and the lives of others. Perhaps those people who do not deserve forgiveness may just be seeking forgiveness because they realize what they have done and as a result too of your obedience more people’s lives will change. If you never forgive and choose instead to play God you will never know. But rest assured; these words are clear in Mark 11:25, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (NIV) It is better to forgive regardless of what your mind will tell you so that you stay on the side of God and not that of the enemy who wants to kill you.
2. The person’s dead
A person’s life status does not change your obedience to God. God’s Word and commands are for every day and not just the days when other people are alive. It would not make sense that you would be absolved of being obedient to His Word just because someone else is not alive. That is a trap and lie from the enemy because it will cause you to justify your sin of unforgiveness and only keep you harboring it and living with the continued consequences therein.
What a person did that caused pain does not change because the person is no longer living. The person still did what the person did and for you to be free from the pain of it will require forgiveness. Remember that your obedience to the Lord is and must always remain the focus. Additionally; the person’s death itself may be something that needs to be forgiven. I remember years ago speaking with a woman who was grieving the loss of her husband who had been murdered. She was grieving as though it were yesterday and in the conversation she revealed it was 12 years prior. She was still in pain and agony and I asked her if she forgave him for dying. She had never heard of such a thing. Most people haven’t. She had forgiven the murder and that was it; but never did she know she needed to forgive her husband for dying and what she was left with to manage in her life as a result. His death cheated her and she lived like it; even though it wasn’t his fault she still was cheated in her mind.
I saw her three weeks later and she was healed and even met a wonderful man! Within 6 months she was married. She shared that she never knew how her not forgiving him for dying had such an impact on her life. As she sought the Lord she repented of harboring the unforgiveness and other symptoms and she was set free. Although her husband was no longer living; the forgiveness was for her being obedient and released from the bondage of unforgiveness.
It is a lesson that regardless of someone’s life status or even mental or physical state; we must be diligent to be obedient and remain steadfastly focused on God and His Word.
3. I can’t forgive
There is a difference in not forgiving because you do not know how and because you can’t. Not knowing does not mean you can’t it simply means you do not know how. Believing that you cannot forgive brings on other issues. Some may include:
- I’m not worth it
The guilt of sin causes many to fall into a downward spiral. The shame, embarrassment, condemnation, self-loathing; and even remorse or regret keep people in bondage. All of those are strongholds and lies from the enemy. So long as you live in a state of unworthiness and undeserving you will never experience the grace and mercy that God extends to His children. God has given you all that you need in order to forgive. His Word is clear to forgive. Why would God give a command to forgive and then want His children to believe they are not worthy of doing it and receiving what comes through it? What kind of father would that be?
I can share with you from personal experience that I did not know how to forgive myself. I found it much easier to forgive others because I could readily accept they didn’t know what they were doing. Me on the other hand; oh no. I should have known better and because I did not I was not worthy of forgiveness. What occurred though was that as I started to forgive myself I started increasing in power and it kept building. Additionally; the Lord showed me that if I see others as deserving of forgiveness and I am no different than them then how can I judge myself to a different standard? Once I understood and received that my life change. It will for you too!
- Pride of letting go
Forgiving means that you are ready to change and holding on to the pride of who you are and what you own will need to be torn down. Remember that all you are owning and harboring are things that are killing you. There are no assets in unforgiveness. Your pride may suffer a little because the life you built based upon your unforgiveness will change; however, when you walk with the Lord the changes are always better for you and best for His Kingdom. When you make the choice to get over yourself and let God deal with you in accordance with His Word everyone wins. Those around you will experience change and therefore your choice to be obedient and become the more real you is a blessing for all.
4. Fear God won’t justify me
Any fear is not of God. Some may want you to believe that there are some healthy fears; although I cannot seem to find this in the Bible. It would not make any sense for people to have fear and then attempt to trust God for justice at the same time. The oxymoronic ideologies only keep people trapped and that is certainly not of God. What I can find in the book of Psalms are wonderful words in Psalm 28:7 that read, “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” (NIV)
When it comes to dealing with issues of forgiveness God is on your side. When you go to the Lord out of reverence and with a heart seeking Him to be obedient to His word it is pleasing to Him. When you make the choice to lay down the burden and the pain with it; know He is on your side. He will never leave you nor forsake you and as you seek Him that fear will be released from you. You will be vulnerable without a doubt although if there is anyone to be vulnerable in front of it is Jesus. I remember when I was in the process of forgiving I truly did not know the amount of unforgiveness I had nor did I know the immense pain that was evident. I was the one who suffered much torture and turmoil and was a child victim and I felt angry that I had to be the one to forgive; however, as I did the Lord revealed to me that His ways are just and because He is a just God all I had to do was be obedient and all would work out in the end.
The end was a changed heart, mind and life. The same will be for you too so long as you choose obedience. God is a just God and will protect those who seek Him for all things. Do not allow forgiveness to be what slips by.
5. It’s not fair I have to forgive
Being the person to forgive is not always easy nor may it seem fair; although ask yourself this: “Was it fair that Jesus died on the cross when He was innocent?” There are times in life when we may be judged fairly and we may be victims. While it may be painful; God’s Word does not change. The Bible simply states, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:23) (NIV) Whether or not any of us feel justified in forgiving someone does not change the command to forgive. When we get the reality that God’s Word is clear and that our focus must remain on Him then life changes.
What occurs when we have the right focus is that what others are doing will be seen as the distraction that it is. The enemy wants people to focus on the wrongs of others which simply then puts people in the point of living in vanity and not forgiveness. So long as the focus is on being the victim and with childish thoughts as to why it is not fair then the level of immaturity is revealed as well as the other symptoms.
It is best to step up like a mature Christian, focused on the forgiveness and knowing that the enemy is simply trying to bait you into a battle that you need not even fight because through forgiveness; you already have the victory.
6. Nothing will change
The idea that nothing will change when you forgive is almost laughable. Why would someone think that obedience changes nothing? It changes everything! The enemy is like a lion prowling and so long as you believe nothing will change by being obedient then the enemy sets you up for an easy but long death. Remember that the enemy never doubted God he just gets people to. So long as what people believe is a distortion of God and His Word then the enemy wins.
Believing that forgiveness does not matter will only keep you from living the full life that you were meant to live. Believing that lie is like believing that eating healthy will have no health impact. The words of Apostle Paul make it clear: ‘For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. (NASB) People know what they should do but when they do not; there are consequences. Believing that nothing will change does not mean do not do what must be done. This thinking is a distortion of the mind and will only cause more strife and separation in your life.
By getting your mind straight and taking every thought captive unto the Lord you will not only live in obedience, but also forgiveness and the abundance that God has already ordained for you.
As any person can come up with numerous reasons to not forgive; none of them are substantial enough to be upheld against God’s Word. The Word is for yesterday, today and for all the days to come. There are no discrepancies and no excuses. Yes forgiveness is a process and each person progresses through the process at varying paces; which is normal and acceptable.
When it is time to forgive; whether it is others, yourself or even God know that He has given you everything you need in order to be successful. There is nothing you cannot do without Him and He will be with you. It simply is a matter of you laying yourself down to overcome yourself and choose life; and ultimately Him for the bigger purpose for your life. While it may be a challenge take the challenge and live in forgiveness. It is worth it because what is beyond it is more than you can imagine!
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Today’s Scripture
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
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Forgiveness Tip #10
Forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it’s about you, your obedience to Christ, your future and your freedom.
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Julie Blair is President of Julie Blair Ministries and host of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ television and radio programs that airs daily to over 3 Billion people on 5 continents. To learn more about forgiveness and the love of Christ or to speak to your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Image belongs to its owner.
When it comes to forgiveness there are reasons why people do not forgive. It is important to recognize that not forgiving is disastrous to your life because it creates internal hindrances that will prevent your life from progressing toward all that God has in store for you. Recognizing the excuses people have for not forgiving will help you see not only what they are; but that if you hold to any of them that you can overcome them and forgive and live in the freedom that comes with it.
- I don’t have unforgiveness issues.
Those that believe they do not have any unforgiveness in most situations do not truly know the depths of forgiveness nor do they know all of the symptoms of unforgiveness Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells us, ‘”The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.” It is wise to not rely on your own wisdom to whether or not you believe you don’t have any issues of forgiveness. A much more prudent route would be to seek the Lord and let Him show you what areas of forgiveness are evident. See; because we are all born into sin we have a biased opinion of ourselves and simply dismissing that there may be an issue of unforgiveness or its symptoms is dangerous the level of self-deception can and will destroy us. With almost 40 symptoms of unforgiveness simply dismissing that there are no issues with it without a full understanding is a slippery slope you do not want to venture on.
- I already did.
If you are like me I thought I forgave. I said the words. I had no problems saying that I said those words. And of course years ago. What must be understood is just because you say the words ‘I forgive’ does not mean anything if they are just words. This is a trap. It is a trap that I fell into for decades. I truly believed that because I said the words that it meant I was free; however, it was obvious to those who knew some of the symptoms that I had no understanding or grasp of forgiveness. Reflect for a moment before dismissing the idea that perhaps you have not forgiven. Look in the mirror and truly take an inventory before the Lord. Ask Him if you already did forgive and to the full or if you simply said the words to continue forward yet really are not going forward because you never forgave. Do not be deceived in this area as it can steal your life. If you have any anger, resentment, bitterness or feel separation from God there is a good chance that unforgiveness may too be lingering. It’s best to seek the Lord to ensure your victory and not allow yourself to live the less than what He has future as a result.
- You don’t know what they did.
The trap with the belief that what others have done is a reason to behave in a certain way is one that causes many people to fall. What other people did do, are doing, will do; or anything else has no impact or reflection on the decisions that any of us are required to make in accordance with God’s Word. Allowing the sins of others to be the controlling factor in whether or not you choose to forgive is a set up for failure. It is giving others control over your life and on purpose. It is not an escape route but rather a death sentence.
When the focus is on what other people have done it reveals that the focus 1) is not on the Lord, 2) is not on that of seeking the Lord to be living a lifestyle of obedience through forgiveness. Not only this; if you spend your time focusing on what they did with a judgmental or critical attitude then won’t you need forgiveness for that? As a result any person at any time can make the choice to focus on what someone else’s faults and sins are but why? Why not just focus on the Lord and seek Him as your refuge and judge and let Him handle it accordingly? In the end it will release you from any and all bondage and will keep you in the righteous standing with Him.
- I don’t know how
Not knowing how to forgive may sound like a reasonable reason to not forgive; but not really. The reason is that there are numerous tools available and in reality; you do not need to look any further than God’s Word which provides answers to all of mankind’s problems. If you truly want to forgive then do it. Provers 13:4 makes it clear:
“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” Craving peace, joy and the rest of the fruit of the spirit is one thing; obtaining it is quite another. It is not possible to achieve something you are not willing to go after. Forgiveness is and must be the lifestyle of a Believer and not knowing how to forgive may be a temporary status; although living in that status simply means you have chosen death over life which is contrary to God’s command to choose life. Learn how to forgive and then live.
- It won’t matter.
The lie that it does not matter if you forgive or not is a lie from the enemy to keep you living in bondage. Remember that anything that brings you closer to God is something that the enemy does not want. Forgiveness is obedience to God. Period. The enemy will thwart your endeavors and so long as you believe the lie you are defeated. He will temp to you to believe that forgiveness does not matter for whatever reason he wants you to believe. It does matter that you forgive. It is your life that is at stake and believing any lie that it is not relevant is as like believing that accidents never happen when people text and drive!
Whether or not you share with the person that you forgive face to face or by letter may not be as important; although forgiveness is vital. It is evident in the New Testament that it is extremely important because Jesus talked and taught about it and the Father gets angry when we choose to not forgive. Now this would make sense since it was His Son who died on the Cross for forgiveness of yours and mine sins. It matters!
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Today’s Scripture
1 Corinthians 12:8-9 “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
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Forgiveness Tip #9
Forgiveness is the pathway to life restored.
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Julie Blair is President of Julie Blair Ministries and host of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ television and radio programs that airs daily to over 3 Billion people on 5 continents. To learn more about forgiveness and the love of Christ or to speak to your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
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Forgiveness is a process of healing that takes as long as it takes. Because each person is different, each situation is unique; and each relationship is unlike any other the process of and toward healing is exactly that. It is a process that will only occur should you choose to maneuver through it.
In grasping forgiveness and how it is a process of healing it in its truest and deepest form will require people to align themselves with God’s Word. There is no other way. It is evident that people are not aligning their lives and minds with the Word of God based upon the fact that so many are suffering. The statistics reveal: 44 million Americans suffer from mental disorders. 6.9% or 16 million American suffer from depression. 18.1% or 42 million Americans suffer from anxiety. Depression is known as the leading cause of disability worldwide and is known as the largest contributor to disease worldwide. 90% of those who die by suicide suffer from mental illness. (https://www.nami.org/getattachment/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers/General-MH-Facts-4-02-15.pdf) It is a command for people to not let the words of God be out of sight for they are health to a man’s whole body. Getting away from God’s word has repercussions and the mental health statistics reveal so. It is when people’s lives align with the Word of God that the change will be evident. Romans 12:2 tells all readers, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV) The ways of the world are away from God’s Word and ways and the results of that cause suffering.
The great news about forgiveness being a healing process is that it is! Psalm 147:3 is clear that “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (NIV) It is through seeking forgiveness that healing takes place. A person who never forgives will never be changed to live in the abundance of what God has in store. On the flipside; obedience to God’s Word and seeing forgiveness will bring one through a process of healing. On a personal note; the process of forgiveness was one that not only changed my voice but my eye color too. Whatever is on the inside manifested spiritually will reflect outwardly in the physical. Healing that takes place spiritually too will be revealed to all. The process of healing is one that will forever change a person’s life; which would make sense as the Apostle Paul writes that the battle is one in the spiritual and not in the physical. One of the best ways to be healed in Christ is to repent and seek forgiveness so that times of refreshing may come as in reads in Acts. The times of refreshing just may be the healing that people desperately need! With this said; it will require one to realize that the ways of God are bigger than the ways of man. Proverbs 3:7-8 commands people “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (NIV) Again; there is healing to one who is obedient to God’s Word. Forgiveness is an act of healing and obedience that will only strengthen a relationship with Christ.
There are numerous examples of healing in God’s Word although the one that stand out for recognition are found in Jeremiah where it is written, “Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise.” Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV) There would be no cry for healing if there wasn’t an awareness that it could be done. When it comes to forgiveness and unforgiveness; the fruit one has is based upon the level of obedience. While seeking forgiveness may prove to be challenging; the power that comes with the obedience therein is something that cannot truly be explained. It is an experience that brings with it much release of turmoil while increasing in identity in Christ and understanding of what Jesus truly did when He was obedient to die on the cross for the sins of others. No other religion or person on earth can lay claim to this. True healing can only be found in and through Christ. Anything other is a counterfeit. Unfortunately; too many have fallen into the trap of that are not being healed as they should be because they are seeking other sources for healing that are not God ordained. Through forgiveness in Christ; healing comes. This would not be written otherwise.
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Today’s Scripture
Deuteronomy 30:19 “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live…”
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Forgiveness Tip #8
Forgiveness is a process of healing that begins in the mind.
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Julie Blair is President of Julie Blair Ministries and host of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ television and radio programs that airs daily to over 3 Billion people on 5 continents. To learn more about forgiveness and the love of Christ or to speak to your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
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When it comes to forgiveness there is no doubt it’s hard. It’s one thing to sure agree that it is hard by what? Why is forgiveness so hard? It’s hard to overcome child abuse, bullying, infidelity or backstabbing. It’s not an easy thing to let it go although it is possible. So let’s examine why forgiving is hard:
1- It’s not easy to let go.
Probably the most honest reason about why forgiving is hard is because it means we have to let it go. Sure people may tell you ‘oh sister, just let go and let God’ which is fine although it doesn’t change how hard it is; nor does it change the fact that I want to just slap them. Just saying.
And do it goes that it’s hard and until you are ready to let it go nothing will change; except you. Whatever you allow to rule you will. So you have a choice. You can be ruled by unforgiveness which simply means that you are choosing to not let it go or you can be ruled by forgiveness which means you are moving forward in freedom.
2- It’s hard to trust God’s on your side.
When I was faced with forgiving it was hard. It was the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. The pain of abandonment, rejection, homelessness, loss of baby, infidelity was so much and the mere fact that I had to go before God who let it all happen and expect that He was on my side- yeah that was hard. It was hard to tell Him exactly how I felt and how unjust it was. I had to trust that God was on my side and that His word is true where He turns darkness to light. It wasn’t until I started telling God that I forgave those in my past that I felt His presence. The more I forgave the more I understood too that my problem wasn’t all about what they did; but the unforgiveness that I carried. And that- was life changing.
3- It’s hard to admit pain.
Who wants to admit they are hurting? Seriously; who wants to admit that? Most people don’t which is why they suffer in silence feeling invisible yet just sharing there is pain can be freedom. It’s really that simple yet for me because I never knew how to actually share anything but anger and lashing out the expression of anything else was a new experience. And besides how many tough girls admit they are in pain? I couldn’t possibly allow myself to admit that I was hurt because I would be weak and that just wasn’t what my persona was about. This was until I was faced with sharing it all with Jesus and everything changed. It will for you too and it’s ok to share how you feel because that is one of the first steps to not only being real; but moving toward forgiveness and actually know what the real situation is.
4- It’s hard to not want justice.
I didn’t want to forgive because I simply didn’t want anyone who hurt me to get off the hook. So I just didn’t. I did years later though mutter some words although those with discernment will see through you so don’t try that route. When being faced with forgiving I knew I needed to because God’s Word says so but in reality there were times when I resented it because I didn’t feel justified in being the one to forgive when I was the victim. I wanted them to pay and to pay dearly and somehow I equated my level of forgiveness with their level of freedom instead of my level of forgiveness is equal to my level of freedom. I see it now. My unforgiveness only hurt me; not them. The same for you. So just forgive.
5- It’s hard to let go of pride.
Unforgiveness in many ways is about pride. It is a built up wall of defense that keeps people out and you tucked in. It is a steel wall that can’t be penetrated through and in reality it’s a big false fake coverup. Those that don’t forgive are really just hiding behind the pain of the past, of people, their own selves or even God. Pride will keep people in such bondage of trying to be tough and trying to be nice; although the fruit of the Spirit cannot be exhibited through and unforgiver. And so the pride covers the truth and the truth is that what others have done hurt you and it’s ok. It’s much better to say the truth than hide behind it because it only creates a bigger, stronger wall that leads to a longer life of misery. So let go of the pride, be real, be vulnerable and just be free.
Forgiveness is not easy; not at all. What it is is freeing, life changing and weight loss. It’s the quickest way to be restored to Jesus and open the doors to blessings. It’s the display of what is in your heart and your level of obedience. And it’s hard. The good news though; is that you are equipped to face hard. And you are equipped to live your life of forgiveness.
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Today’s Scripture
Psalm 56:4 “In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”
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Forgiveness Tip #6
You level of forgiveness is equal to your level of freedom
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Julie Blair is President of Julie Blair Ministries and host of ‘Living in Forgiveness’ television and radio programs that airs daily to over 3 Billion people on 5 continents. To learn more about forgiveness and the love of Christ visit www.julieblair.com
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Forgiveness is a process and an event; it’s twofold. It will occur many times in your life if you are willing to be obedient to the Lord. Additionally; you will experience expanded territory through forgiveness. Let me explain;
When you choose to forgive; which not forgiving too is a choice you are overcoming your flesh for something greater than your feelings about what someone did or didn’t do you that you may or may not agree with that wasn’t exactly what anyone else would think. You are laying it down at the foot of the cross. And what happens? God can use you and in bigger ways.
The prayer by Jabez was incredible because of its simplicity: bless me and expand my territory. Brilliant! Yet here is the thing: if you are not experiencing that after you have prayed that effective prayer there is a reason. And most likely a situation of unforgiveness or bitterness is related. The Lord cannot expand territory of an unforgiver. Why? Well; 1) it’s His Kingdom and reputation that you would be diminishing, 2) you choice to not be obedient in forgiving won’t be rewarded, 3) people don’t like being around unforgiving, angry, resentful, bitter people- trust me on that one! And because God is a just God and His Word reigns supreme in commanding us to forgive there are rewards and consequences with each choice we choose to make. Forgive and receive expanded territory and blessings. Don’t want that- then don’t forgive. It’s really that simple yet probably one of the hardest things you will ever do; or at least it was for me.
And so here is the most beautiful image of how this works: Jesus. You see His life on earth was filled with territory right? He walked everywhere, spoke with people, taught, healed, broke bread; performed miracles, casted out demons and on it went. He did it wherever He was. He did it in the territory that was His at the time He did it. But then look what took place:
Jesus completed the call on His life. He died for your sins and for mine. Whether you agree does not change the Truth of what He did. And on that cross he prayed ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ and after His death His territory expanded even more! It was His obedience and His own level of forgiveness that set the example; none other. So when people say that this is unrealistic or not doable well sure- this isn’t for the weak. Jesus was not weak and the Bible tells us clearly that ‘when’ you have struggles and not ‘if’ so it’s not a surprise that it’s not easy. It is realistic because the way has been made. And guess what? God’s Word does not give commands without a person having the ability to deliver. God does not set up people for failure; oh no He provides all the tools that people need in order to grow and expand His Kingdom. Just like Jesus.
And so if you want your territory expanded; to live the full and God call on your life it will require forgiveness. It will require you to get over yourself and know that He who is greater made the way; and that you can forgive. You just have to align your mind with God’s Word is all. When you do this then you will begin to see what God does; and you will experience it- trust me on that too. God is a good God and has a full life for you because He doesn’t hold back any good thing. So the question is: are you ready to get it? Are you ready to lay down the unforgiveness and have it replaced with more of Him operating in you, to you and through you; with expanded Kingdom? I certainly hope so as there is nothing like it in the world. There is nothing like following in the path of Jesus and knowing that God loved His Son so much that He became the freedom for you to live beyond what you could imagine. So get on the path today and expand your territory for His Kingdom; and while you still can.
For more about forgiveness and walking with Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Before I understood forgiveness I was probably like you; heard to do it and went about life. It was something to give some thought to after a nice sermon by the preacher but that one thing that was never really important enough to actually get put on the ‘to do’ list. As such I never knew that forgiveness is deliverance; and that forgiveness really is your deliverance too.
What many experience in their walk with the Lord are some blessings and a breakthrough here and there; and they are ok with it. Others may take it personal and begin to blame God. “Why isn’t God blessing me with this or that” the proverbial question is. It continues on all the while the same people are blaming the devil and go on the attack on every little thing which sounds super spiritual; although it still is not getting to the point of problem. Breakthrough still is not occurring and it can’t until other choices are made. More often than not you are your problem and hindrance; not the devil and most certainly not the Lord!
When you get to the place of realizing that blaming God or the devil for what you are choosing to not do your life will change. Period. So blaming God isn’t going to solve the problem. He didn’t choose unforgiveness for you- you did. Heck it was Him who choose His Son to die on your behalf! Blaming the devil is laughable because he’s sitting over there laughing at how ignorant you are because you are choosing to rebel against God by being unforgiving; so he wins. All the while you hate and doubt God for your problems he’s just kicking back with his stupid cronies have a good ol time. He doesn’t even have to do anything! He gets you to and then you live in it- and don’t even see it. It’s really time to see it, start moving those mountains and living above and not below because God certainly did not allow His Son to die on that cross to that Christians today can live poor and miserable believing that that is God’s best. That is not so stop wearing misery like a badge of honor.
Psalm 18:21-24 is pretty clear: “For I have kept the ways of the Lord, and have not wickedly departed from my God. For all his judgments were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me. I was also upright before him, and I kept myself from mine iniquity.Therefore hath the Lord recompensed me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his eyesight.”(KJV)
Living in unforgiveness is a choice just as much as living in forgiveness is; the only difference is that unforgiveness is against God. It is rebellion to His Word, His ways; and ultimately His plan for your life. His Word commands forgiveness. There is no way to reroute this and whether you agree or not does not change the Word nor does it change the consequences of disobedience to it. When this revelation is received; your life will change.
Deliverance will come through forgiveness. It is different for every person but rest assured; you will never be the same in Jesus name when you forgive. Never! You cannot be. When you forgive you are relinquishing all of it to the Lord so that He can work through you, in you, for you; and all for His glory and Kingdom. On the other hand; your unforgiveness will only keep you in bongage and that of being a victim, never growing in the Lord or as a person; and your life won’t ever be filled with the peace and abundance that comes with a life lived in Him. As such you will simply be used as a tool for the enemy and really what a waste of life. Don’t lose years like I did being used like that. Move the mountain and start living for Him who deserves it.
Many people pray for deliverance. I get requests all the time from people saying the same thing: “I just want Him to deliver me” and guess what? He will- when ‘you’ apply His Word! Remember it is God who will arm you with strength and make your way perfect; if only you let Him.
For more about freedom in Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Marriage in current day society has changed from the days and time of those living in the Old Testament. Instead of parents of both the bride and groom negotiating a dowry and wedding date for their children who may or may not have ever met; people today instead do it all on their own and much to their own ignorant destruction. One only need to look at those centered in celebrity magazines with the wedded bliss that lasted barely 24 hours to get an idea of what simply does not work. It is a shame that people have moved so far from God and the plan that He most likely intended for them to rely on their emotions or feelings of the day to make the most important decision of their lives. Looks and bank accounts are what we have come to and what a shame it is!
While many may get some assistance with choosing a spouse; there still isn’t much focus on the overall picture of marriage and how to be married; or what that even means. Instead the focused trend is the ‘bride on her big day’ along with the dress, cake, honeymoon; and all the other ancillary items that make up the one day and a thirty minute ceremony; unless you are Catholic where 30 minutes is just the warm up. While there is nothing wrong with focusing on a wedding and the joyous occasion that it is; where is the groom? Much of societal trends forget that he is a vital component and many more don’t even discuss the day after the honeymooners return from their honeymoon to start their lives together. With much distraction of marriage and choice of spouse should it be any wonder that the divorce rate is higher than 50% for first time marriages and even higher at 60% for second time marriages? (http://www.divorcestatistics.org) One would think that some lessons would be learned in spousal choice after a first failed marriage; however, the statistics prove otherwise. The reason for divorce is irrelevant as the fact that it is occurring is the symptomatic issue. The questions one could ask is why it’s an issue and why it’s not one that is discussed more; however, discussing it doesn’t change it from being true. The focus in this particular piece of writing isn’t about the divorce rates; common questions to ask before getting married; or the excitement of the big day. Rather; the focus here is on the perils of marrying the wrong spouse. If more people truly reflected not on how happy someone makes them feel or how they fee on that one day; or how big of a house they will live in by marrying that person and instead step back and look at themselves and the emotional connection to see the larger picture and purpose and the results of marrying that person maybe wiser choices would be made with the outcome of lower divorce rates and a happier society. There is a purpose for marriage; for you in your marriage and for your marriage. What are the answers to those questions?
The most important peril of marrying the wrong person is outlined in Jeremiah 29:11. It reads: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Many people hear this scripture and yet do not for some reason absorb the importance of it. There is a plan for each person yet most don’t know what that particular plan is! Many who follow certain man made doctrines believe that the only role of a woman is to be a wife; and serve her master otherwise known as husband. Well; the Proverbs 31 woman would clearly be out line! It only takes one to ask Jesus what that plan is if it is not known; else how can one know whether or not he/she fulfilled it on judgment day? By first building a relationship with Jesus and asking what that plan is a person will be in better position to continue forward toward marriage with the right spouse. The person God has in store will come along as you progress toward your purpose. Not only this; it will help you better identify how that new spouse would fit in your and the call God has for you. For those choosing to disregard the importance of this one step it will have drastic impact and effect.
Continuing forward with this particular scripture; if one does know the plan for his or her life and continues to marry the wrong spouse how then could that person continue to fulfill the said plan properly and to full completion? For example; if a single woman knows the plan for her life because it has been spoken to her and confirmed by others and she still chooses to marry the wrong person how can she begin to think that she will fulfill what she has been called to do? It would be almost impossible as scripture also reads that the first ministry is to family. Her new husband may not believe that she has a call or may not be as supportive as the right God-intended spouse would be. If a woman is to be submissive to her husband she has most likely lost her positional status to continue forward with what she was required to do to the full for God because of her new position under the wrong husband. This is not to say that she cannot be used by God; however, it is to say that the wrong choice in spouse will significantly inhibit her ability to do ‘all’ that she could have done if she made the right choice and not settle for less than what God intended.
For a man who chooses the wrong spouse he will be combat-ineffective for God although in different ways. His wife may instead of being supportive and moving together toward what God has called for him; be considered friendly fire. The husband then will have to work out issues with God alone which in some instances would make sense; however, would also leave him requiring and needing more help than he may otherwise. Additionally; he would have to deal with this wife being a distraction that he wouldn’t have otherwise to deal with if the right choice was made. Scripture also is clear in Matthew 18:19 that “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” For the man who marries the wrong woman he is completely at a disadvantage in his prayer life, his relationship with and to his wife; and his responsibilities to God. One wrong choice will have impact that could cause him to suffer the rest of his life.
Being single isn’t the end of the world; it really isn’t. It gives you time to spend with the Lord becoming who He created you to be so that when He appoints that time you receive the person He planned all along. Don’t focus on what you don’t have; but Who you have- and Who you have that is right in front of you.
If you are already married thank the Lord for your spouse. Pray that the two of you are in agreement with Him and that the two of you as one will be able to complete the call on your lives as one; and that He gives each of you individually the detailed plan for your lives so that you are the witness for His Kingdom that gives Him all the glory.
For more about love and forgiveness and walking in the fullness of Christ watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.