Your life and death are the choices that begin in your mind. There is nothing that doesn’t occur that doesn’t first start with a thought. Every single thing man creates starts with what is in the mind. Forgiveness is no different. How your mind impacts forgiveness is something that most do not ever think about. Understanding forgiveness and how it relates to your mind will lead to freedom without a doubt.
To get freedom one needs to go no further than Romans 12:2 where it gives instruction clearly: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)
There would to be no need for renewing of the mind if the mind were already in accordance with the will of God. Because of how far man has separated himself from God; there is no other option for recourse than a renewing of the mind. If there is no renewing in the mind; there is no forgiveness.
See; forgiveness can only come through a renewing of the mind. If you choose to not be obedient and live in forgiveness; you choose the consequences that come with it. God’s Word is not a joke and God will not be mocked. What you think will become what you will. If you think unforgiveness and that you are above it; your mind will not be renewed to be pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. On the other hand; ‘when’ and yes I say ‘when’ you make the choice to get over yourself and forgive; through that process alone you are being renewed and refreshed.
The impact the mind on your life is huge; but also the impact that the mind has on forgiveness is equally as huge. Your life begins with the thoughts you allow in your head. Your mind determines what you see, what you say, what you allow to enter your life. It is a matter of where you choose to allow your mind to focus. The direction of your thoughts will be revealed by the life you life.
In the end; the health of your body and being is dependent upon the health of your mind. The level of forgiveness you have within your heart; it too dependent upon your mind. Do not be deceived into thinking otherwise as God’s Word also tells us in James 1:8 the truth about double-minded men, “Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” (NIV) It is only until your mind is singly focused that you will get the results you want to achieve all that you can. This is through not only grasping that the mind impacts forgiveness but recognizing that through forgiveness itself your life will change. In the end; it is a matter of your mind and only you are in complete control of that.
Everything in life begins with a thought. It all does. Sex, shopping; buying a pug. It all begins with a thought. Adam and Eve thought and then looked at the fruit; seeing it was pretty to the eye. Forgiveness is the same. In order to get to a place of forgiving; you need to prepare your mind to forgive. It begins with the thought.
Let’s face it; forgiveness is not easy. This is why the weak do not do it. They can’t. Why can’t they? Because they cannot get their minds to a place of surrendering. The concern with this though is that as a result of choosing not to forgive; they instead choose death by default. How so? God’s Word says. In Deuteronomy 30:19 it plainly reads, “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live…” (NIV) So it’s a choice. The choice to get your mind prepared is what must be done if you want victory to the full. So it begs the question: what are you really preparing your mind for? You are preparing your mind to:
1. Let Go. Letting go of pain is not an easy task by any means. I remember in 2006/7 NYE when I had to forgive everyone who hurt me in my past I wasn’t sure how. I also wasn’t sure if I could do it to be honest with you. The amount of pain from my biological mother abandoning me was so painful. The pain of my adoptive parents putting me in a homeless shelter was even worse. It all ran so deep. But here is the thing: if I wanted what I wanted I had to. I wanted the torment to go away. I wanted the ministry God sent me to Dallas to start. I wanted freedom!
I had to get my mind in right alignment with God’s Word in Romans 12:2 where it reads, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV) Until my mind was renewed; nothing would change or at least nothing that I wanted would change. The same for you. Letting go and letting God was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. It brought my relationship with Him to a different level because it meant I didn’t have to go it alone. I could drop the burden at His feet and He would be there. He is there for you too; it’s just a matter of your mind reconciling that.
2. Be healed. Healing comes through forgiveness. I didn’t get it until I got it. I didn’t know just how much I would be healed from. I had to get myself in order to be healed and believe that I could and would be. It was hard to say the least. In reality; I didn’t really know what it meant. I just knew I needed to forgive. During the time of forgiving all the people who hurt me I started to feel different. Every person and every act that I had to forgive was hard in the beginning; but then as I forgave more the power within grew. Obviously this would make sense because the more of me that was removed; the more of God was there and able to truly operate. I was able to not only forgive; but receive healing spiritually and physically. Some of the healing that took place was the restoration of relationship with my biological mother and other relationships. In the physical; my voice and eye color changed. Imagine what healing you will have when you get your mind in order to forgive in accordance with His Word.
3. Go forward. Preparing your mind to go forward can be a challenge; especially if you have lived a life in unforgiveness! It’s hard to imagine what life without all the internal turmoil would be like that’s for sure. Unforgiveness keeps you stuck. Period. If you are not receiving all of what God has for you; there is a reason. Most likely that reason is not that God is so mean and is picking on you. That mindset is purely one of a victim sissy living in blame of God when in reality my best guess is if you get truly serious and dig deep and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you; you will find there has been deep rooted unforgiveness manifesting along with about 40 symptoms of it that you probably don’t even know about. It is not possible to live a life moving forward focusing on stuff from the past. I tried. Trust me it doesn’t work. Going forward with unforgiveness is like trying to drive a 2-wheel SUV through a Colorado blizzard wondering why you are stuck. You will need something much stronger to get out! When you get your mind right and are ready to go forward leaving the pain of the past behind your life will change in ways beyond imagine!
See; everything starts in the mind. I didn’t get that until long after I dealt with the amount of unforgiveness I had. I sat in a room for 2 days over NYE 2006/7 dealing with all the unforgiveness I had. I had to deal with it once and for all. There was no turning back; and there really isn’t for you either. This of course if you want the real life that God created you for.
Once I grasped that God’s Word is not a joke when it reads, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” in John 10:10 my life changed. I got the revelation that what I continued to allow was the enemy to win. It was a war for my life and it is for yours too. It is time for you today to get the reality that should you claim you are a Believer and confess with your mouth that Jesus is your Lord and Savior you can do all things through Him who gives you strength. This means you have the power within you to get your mind prepared to forgive; and then forgive. Don’t be deceived into thinking you can’t as that too is a lie. Prepare your mind and get ready for the battle; and the victory waiting for you!
Forgiveness changes things. In fact it changes everything. It changes the heart, soul; and life of the forgiver. There is a perception correct that occurs through forgiveness.
When you live in unforgiveness; you are able to see life from the one vantage point that you have- yours. With unforgiveness in and breeding in you ask yourself: how correct do you think the perceptions you have could be with something so negative living in you? Not sure? Well; then let’s add some of unforgiveness cousins for fun and see! How about a little resentment? Bitterness? Anger? Impatience? Are you starting to get the idea now?
I didn’t realize just how incorrect my perception of everything was. My perception of relationships, perception of my biological mother; and most important my relationship with Christ. My life was being lived based upon incorrect perceptions deeply rooted in unforgiveness. It wasn’t until I forgave that it was corrected. It wasn’t until I forgave that I was able to start living.
One of the biggest perception correction I experienced was regarding my biological mother. What I knew before I forgave her was that she told me she was going to get pizza and never returned. What I knew and remembered was that she didn’t show up to the final visit that we were scheduled to have with the social workers. My perception was that she abandoned me, didn’t want me and surely didn’t love me. My perception was that I was not worthy of love and therefore; unloveable. I lived a life based upon this incorrect perception.
How was this incorrect? Well; when you live in unforgiveness you are not able to see any other vantage point than yours. Once I became obedient to Christ and repented for my unforgiveness toward my mother and then forgave her for abandoning me I was able to listen to her. I was able to hear what she had to say and receive it. What did I receive? More than I ever could have imagined!
My biological mother shared with me that she never intended for me to be placed in foster care. She never intended to ‘not’ show up for the final appointment with the social worker! She went on to share with me that she was given an ultimatum by the social worker: sell me to him for 10k or never see me again. He was buying and selling babies on the Canadian Black Market. When she rejected his offer he changed the appointment time and because she didn’t drive; she couldn’t get there. She never saw me again. That was her side of the story.
For all those years I lived with the hate, resentment, fear of abandonment, forgiveness and many others based upon an incorrect perception! I made life decisions based upon all those things not knowing that they were not only incorrect; but were killing me. How about you? What do you think is behind the door of forgiveness that you have yet to open?
Once I listened to all of what my mother had to share; my life changed. I no longer had the resentment and hatred with deep-seeded unforgiveness breeding in me. My heart was changed. I no longer saw my mother as the fat, stupid degenerate that I always believed she was. (Just saying) No. Not any longer. I saw her as God sees her. I saw her as a woman who lost her child; a woman who suffered much. And a woman who against all odds chose life.
Forgiveness forever changed me. It brought me closer to Christ and it will too. It brought healing to every ounce of my being; including a change in my eye color and voice. It brought a change in perception. It brought humbling in ways unimaginable and it will for you too.
There is someone in your life right now waiting for his or her chance to share the truth with you. There is someone who is waiting to see you be free from what you have harbored deep within to this point. Are you ready to receive? Are you ready to forgive? I pray that you are as you are too valuable to waste away in the land of unforgiveness. I pray that you are ready to see with the 20/20 vision that God has been waiting for you to receive!
Unforgiveness is a sin. In the purest of forms it is a sin against God. And sin kills. Unforgiveness as a result too kills because it is sin although in its process damages you along the way. The destruction to your soul and your body are what most don’t take into consideration. This would make sense since unforgiveness is in the way; blocking the very revelation. So how does unforgiveness truly damage you?
Unforgiveness reaches you at the core of who you are; your soul and spirit. It operates internally like a virus scan program; monitoring every thought, every action; every breath. It ensures that operation to the full are consistent with keeping you miserable; keeping you dying. Your soul which is compromised of your mind, will and emotions is what progresses you through life. When living in unforgiveness the pain resides. It breeds bitterness which is poison that rots the bones. It grows into anger, resentment and the myriad of almost 40 symptoms of unforgiveness. None of which are healthy to the soul. Unforgiveness is the silent torment to the soul that keeps people dying in silence. None of the symptoms allow for any true growth in Christ. How seriously could you expect to grow closer to Christ while being separated from Him by the choice to be disobedience through unforgiveness? One cannot grow to the other. It is only until unforgiveness is removed and replaced with His Truth that freedom and growth in Christ to the full can begin. Until that time of choice begins; it is a slow damaging process to death. When the soul is replenished; life is renewed. This is why forgiveness is a process; a renewing process. Acts 3:19 is very clear: ‘Repent, and then seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.’ (NIV) There is no refreshing until the choice to repent is first. The soul will not be cleansed nor life changed for the better of His Kingdom.
In the physical body unforgiveness spreads. Anything that occurs in the spiritual aspect manifests itself in the physical. The same is true with forgiveness and unforgiveness alike. When a person lives in forgiveness there is peace; just as much so as when living in unforgiveness there is no peace. When there is no peace the body feels it. When there is stress, anger or any other negative emotion it is felt. Dr. Caroline Leaf has examined the brain related to renewing the mind Biblically and in her research has found that as people change their thoughts then it reacts in the body. When a person is bitter it rots the bones. Unforgiveness has also been known to have such additional physical symptoms of arthritis, hypertension and many others. The human body was not created to withstand the rigors of hate and evil; and sin against God. The torment caused to the body has people dying at a faster rate than necessary. I encourage you today to stop damaging your body and forgive so that you can live; and live the life you were created to live.
It is written best in 3 John 1:2 where it reads the message clear: “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” (NIV) How can you have good health and all well in your soul when living against God? You cannot be for Him and against Him at the same time. It would like going against Israel and expecting God to like it! God’s Word is clear that you are to enjoy good health and that ‘all’ may go well with you; not just some. You can get all simply by forgiving. You really can! There is peace in forgiveness to be in your soul and body. It is there waiting so you don’t have to any longer do damage to yourself. It is simply up to you to recognize that you are worth it, God commands it; and that you can do it.
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Forgiveness takes time. There is time involved. The question most ask is how long does forgiveness take? It is a question for the ages that one never seems to grasp. But again; how long does it take? Let’s face it that is what people want to know right?
And so it goes there is no specific answer. Forgiveness is a process and as with any process it takes time. There is no way around it. There are some things; however, that must be taken into consider when it comes to the time factor of forgiveness.
1. Every person is different. We all are different. None are the same. How every person progresses through life in his or her own way and based upon life experiences too is different. To determine the timeline of forgiveness for each person makes no sense because it really is not relevant. What is relevant to recognize is that the process is underway. Comparing any person and his or her ability to forgive and in a quicker manner serves no purpose and more often than not serves rather as a hindrance because again; each person is different.
2. Every situation is different. No two situations are the same. They may be similar; but not the same. There is no way for them to be because the people involved are not the same, the interpretation of the situation is different; and understanding that applying ways of old to new situations can be more of a hindrance because the applications may not apply. One situation may one of infidelity while another may be wrongful death; and still even betrayal in friendship. No two situations are the same therefore handling them in an exact manner would not be sufficient.
3. Every person’s relationship with Christ is different. When it comes to forgiveness in Christ; where a person is in relationship to and with Him is different. Only God knows the motives of man’s heart. It is written in Jeremiah 17:10: “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” To determine the timeline of forgiveness truly is not the main focus because God knows not only the situation; but also the heart of the person who needs to forgive.
The bottom line is that forgiveness is a process. It is one of healing and deliverance. It is one that will relinquish much pain and heartache. The process of it is one that takes as long as it takes for each person. Falling into the trap of believing that one must be finished forgiving in this time or that; is dangerous. It creates a level of comparison that need not be. It builds a level of bondage that need not be. And when forgiving and living in it; it is always a process and there is no timeline to live in it. It’s something to progress through for the rest of the days of your life.
People have expectations. Such is life. It’s when people have and place expectations on others that can cause more problems than people realize. What most don’t realize is that most will have an expectation. Society has expectations. Churches have expectations. Companies have expectations. Families too have expectations. None are immune. For me it was a few days ago when I expected that the person in line in front of me to order his food would have been ready to order after standing and waiting for 4 minutes. But no; the person had to think about it. But I digress. It’s when you recognize that just because people have expectations; how you interact with them is on you. Just because someone sends you a text for instance; doesn’t mean you have to reply in .5 seconds. Forgiveness of the expectations of others is what can set you free.
You see; everywhere you go there is an agenda. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy so it reads in John 10:10. Now you define who the enemy is in your life. is it the media telling you what to think? Perhaps the advertisers of companies making you believe you need to have a new cell phone every 2 months. Or maybe it’s your family pushing you to have children when you haven’t even decided you want to marry the person you have been dating a hot minute. Don’t want that law degree? It doesn’t matter what it is. You need to be on watch so you don’t fall into the trap of what others want to put on you to live. You are the one living with the consequences of the choices that you make. Forgive others for putting something on you that they don’t even know they are pushing!
Jeremiah 29:11 is clear that God has a plan for you. God does! Now the caveat is that it is your responsibility to get it. Once you get your assignment from God then the expectations and plans of others are of no issue or consequence to you. So where does one begin in gaining and living in freedom?
1. Recognize that others have a plan for your life. It doesn’t matter who the ‘others’ are because it’s just you recognizing it.
2. Forgive those who have put their plan for your life upon you. They probably are not even aware of what they are doing.
3- Forgive yourself for falling into the trap of allowing the plans of others to become yours. Whatever you allow in your life is responsibility.
4- Ask God to reveal His purpose and plan for your life. And guess what? He will!
5- Start living it! There is no time like right now for you to start living!
People typically will do what they know how to do. And for you; it’s simply forgive the plans and expectations and get to living your most abundant life without barriers!
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Living in sin kills. Period. There is no freedom anywhere found in sin. And it doesn’t matter what the sin is; it kills. Forgiveness and choosing to live in perpetual sin is very dangerous because God’s Word does not change; and there is no mercy for the sins. And until that revelation is grasped in its purest form; people perish. And many more than you think are perishing right before your very eyes yet they know it not. And you too may be perishing and know it not.
Psalms 32 is very clear when it reads, “Blessed is he who transgressions are forgiven, who sins are covered.”
Now in order to have those transgressions forgiven and covered it means one not only has to acknowledge them but also repent according to Acts 3:19 where it reads to“Repent and seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.”
If you are not blessed; perhaps seeking forgiveness of sins may be the first place to start.
It continues on in verse 2 of Psalm 32, “Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.” Now; the reward is evident that man will be blessed is that no sin will count against him but also pay close attention to the second part: ‘Whose spirit is no deceit.’ This caveat is very clear that if there is deceit there is a problem. Not only this in James 1:8 it is clearly written that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Trying to hide deception is a sin in and of itself! And God is the one who knows the motives of the heart so if you think you can live in the sin and hide you are kidding yourself! Bottom line is that seeking forgiveness and living a righteous life requires confession of rebellious ways; and it doesn’t matter what you are rebelling from. Rebellion to God in sin is still rebellion to God in sin. It doesn’t matter if you are sexually immoral, bitter or a murderer. Not confessing your sin will kill you.
Psalm 32 verse 5 shares “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”-and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” What is wonderful about this particular verse is how many things occur in it. 1) first the person (David the Psalmist) acknowledge the sin, 2)confession to the Lord for the sin took place, 3) God forgave and forgave the guilt of the sin. Notice that nothing occurred until the sin was acknowledged. Nothing except the continued living in the sin and the guilt that comes with it. So I ask today: what sin are you ready to be delivered from? What do you truly need to repent of? Should you say you are without out sin I kindly ask you to seek the Lord and let Him reveal to you the truth of that. Being so deceived will only kill you as God will not be mocked nor will God uphold your sinful ways because you have chosen to deceive yourself. God is pure and just and people and sin are not.
In Psalm 32 verse 6 it reads, “Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.” It is very clear ‘everyone who is godly’ which would make sense as how can you be delivered from sin when you refuse to acknowledge the One who can free you of it? God is not the father of all as that too is clear that no one get to the Father but through Jesus. Notice too the scripture is clear ‘while you may be found’ which is clear that time is of the essence. Should you choose your perpetual sin as a lifestyle you may not experience the joy of the Lord as He does not change to cower down to your sinful ways. And what a shame that would be to choose to have satan as your master who creates bondage rather than the Jesus who came to set the captives free! So again the question for the day is: what sin do you want delivered from? It doesn’t matter if it is pornography addiction, extra-marital affairs, sexual deviancy or anything else. Anything not of God is not of God and God will never change His pure mind on that. It is us that must get that and soon before it’s too late. Romans 12:2 tells us to not conform to the ways of the world but to be renewed my the transforming our minds. And that my dear reader; is a command.
Psalm 32:8 provides us with what God will do for us should we stop our nonsense and recognize the truth of His Word. It reads, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” God’s entire Word and all the words in it are instructions for life; and life in abundance according to His Word. It is not a book written for people to pick and choose what and when they want which parts that are fitting to the sin they want to keep. It is all for today as it was yesterday and will still be the law of the land tomorrow and forever. It is simply a matter of what it will take for people to get it. When people remove themselves in all their ignorance and glory to believe they know better than the One who created them; they create more bondage to live in. What must be understood is written carefully in Psalm 12: 6-8:
And the words of the Lord are flawless,
like silver purified in a crucible,
like gold refined seven times.
7 You, Lord, will keep the needy safe
and will protect us forever from the wicked,
8 who freely strut about
when what is vile is honored by the human race.
When there is no repentance of sin there are consequences.Upholding sin is still sin as you are either for God or against Him. You cannot claim His Word and live against it and Him at the same time. Until forgiveness for sin is sought from the Lord; no times of refreshing may come. Deu 30:19 tells us, “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” Make today the day that you bow before God Almighty and seek forgiveness for your sins; all of them. And for your children so they may live. Do it before it’s too late.
Unforgiveness kills. Plain and simple. Many may call it cancer; however, it is a heart condition that spreads like cancer; reaching every single part of a person’s being. Unforgiveness literally kills you. Now that you know this; what is the cure? Well; the most basic and foundation element if you are a follower of Christ is quite simple. What is it? What could possibly heal one of what is causing death and destruction? God’s Word. And following God’s Word; else what would be the point? Too many people today have missed the latter although it goes like this:
Repent. Sure you may say of what but let me first provide supporting scripture. Acts 3:19 makes it very clear: “Repent and then seek forgiveness so that times of refreshing may come. ” (NKJ) Now the NIV puts it this way: “19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,” so either way you put it- there is something for ‘you’ to do. Repent of harboring the unforgiveness because otherwise God’s Word would not say to start there. If you have nothing wrong then the verse would need not be there. Refusing to repent causes what is there to continue to be there and spread in ways you can’t possibly imagine. The times of refreshing come ‘after’ repentance so it reads. It’s quite simple. Follow the steps if you want the desired outcome. It’s a two part step with an outcome.
What occurs spiritually in a person manifests itself physically and that is your choice. What are you allowing to rule you? God’s Word is also true in Romans 12:2 “2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” There is a command of what not to do and secondly; there is another command of what to do- oh and again with the outcome of it.
See; God’s Word is the same yesterday and forever. Society is not. And so when you read God’s Word it is very clear that Believers are not to conform to the pattern of the world but be ‘transformed’ by the renewing of the mind. Now- God’s Word would not give a command to do something unless it was possible for it to be done. There is a means of renewing the mind. Apostle Paul would not have talked about such things if he did not know. Scientists and doctors like Caroline Leaf would not share that when you align your mind with scripture your life changes. Your brain is required and the electrons in it are reprogrammed as what is not of God is replaced with what is of God. In essence we need more of God’s Word and truth for healing and less drugs; but I digress.
And so it goes unforgiveness isn’t only a heart condition but also a sin. It is sin against God which is why repentance is required. It does not matter what anyone has done to you; but what you do about it. Period. And again; God’s Word reads ‘repent’. This is the first place to start because harboring unforgiveness is as I said a sin but also a silent killer.
Unforgiveness has almost 40 symptoms. Yes- 40! Yet most people never get past anger or resentment to recognize how deep unforgiveness goes into the entire body and being of who they are. Let’s include just for fun bitterness, separation from God, blocked blessings; just to name a few. And this is how your life is wrecked. See; you have an assignment. When you live in unforgiveness it keeps you from living it out. And too many people are not living out their assignments from God because they are too busy dying of unforgiveness. Don’t let that be you!
Once you understand howunforgiveness takes over the body and every single aspect of it- you will want to get rid of all of and quick! Let it be known that most of what people have internally is only able to be revealed through the power of God, Jesus and His Holy Spirit. Hence; why we all need a savior and relationship with Christ. How do I know? Because when I had to go through God’s full process of forgiveness my eye color changed and my voice changed. God gave me the revelation from His Word about how deep this truly is and my prayer for you is that you would not wait another day thinking you are free of unforgiveness when probably deep down there has been something lingering. This is not psychotherapy or anything else as anything not of God is simply not of God and never can be of God.
Should you be sick and tired of being sick and tired and want healing in the full it’s time to get real- and quick. It’s time to stop allowing yourself to be a victim focusing on what others have done that they probably don’t even have a clue that they’ve done. It’s time to grasp that reality that God’s Word is real and true and that time is of the essence.
Get with the One who heals, who redeems; the One who created you long before the foundation of the earth. The One who knows your pain and can take away your pain. You are too precious to live life dying when you don’t have to. Start with Acts 3:19 and let the times of refreshing come. They will. It takes one step at a time yet each step brings more power into the lives of those who forgive. I am living proof. And don’t you want to be too?
If I were to ask you how your relationship is with your pastor what would you say? How about your relationship with your church? How about Jesus? God? The Holy Spirit? The church in America is and has been in trouble for quite some time and forgiveness must reign when or should a church you are in splits. Jesus should and must always be the center of everything for His Word is clear that you shall have no other Gods before Him; and yes that would mean the god of pastor worship and religion.
You see; when people get so caught up into their church that should it split; it’s much more challenging to overcome. it’s the devastation to those who didn’t see it coming. It’s the pain of loss of trust and the reality of the truth; nothing will ever be as it once was. Now it’s not to say that it isn’t difficult for everyone involved but if your focus is in a place of people focus and not God focus; you may be blindsided. You may be blindsided to the fact that your pastor is not God- and that is not a good place to be.
Recognizing that a church is made of imperfect people should it splits forgiveness must reign. You see; pastors are people. As with anything some are honest and most are. They are men and women who love the Lord and serve honestly their congregations. Some pastors also prove to be liars and very very good at it. They probably have no clue that it’s their lies and deceit that causes their congregations to fall. And even in the midst of this; each person is still accountable to God for his or her actions therein. Forgiveness must be in the hearts of all involved in any church split.
So how does one forgive or even get to a place of forgiveness? Where does one even start?
1. Forgive the pastor for his faults. Pastors are men and women and not perfect. “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” so it reads in Romans 3:23. Should you choose to harbor unforgiveness and judgment toward that pastor it will be what is in your heart; and that would not be of God. Now of course it isn’t to say that the pastor should not be held accountable; however, God is the one who will judge. Let me remind you that it was ‘God’ who used a hailstorm to annihilate the enemies and they all fell dead. So you don’t have to do anything but stay focused on forgiveness and let God do what God does!
2. Forgive yourself for any involvement. Now you may say you weren’t involved in the church split; although perhaps by being there you were. Perhaps you actually knew something at some point and did nothing. Doing nothing in silence is still doing something. You may also want to seek God for what caused you to not only be there, but stay there too. There is a reason why and maybe the Holy Spirit revealed to you long before it was time to go; and yet you didn’t. Remember that obedience is worth more than sacrifice. You want to ensure that you are on the right track with God so just clear the path with forgiveness between you and He.
3. Forgive the church for the pain it caused. Church splits cause much pain. They destroy relationships, they destroy congregations, they destroy the unity in the body of Christ; and they even cause people to simply walk away from Jesus. What must always be recognized is that Jesus is not a church building only open Sundays from 10am-2pm. This is why a relationship with Jesus must be the center of everything! Pastors and churches are two separate things; although may people just combine them as one. The pastor has a role and the church has a role. Make sure you that you are living in forgiveness of both the pastor and the church for pure freedom in Christ!
4. Be thankful. This obviously is a challenge to be thankful for such an experience that can devastate many lives; however, God’s Word is clear: “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thes 5:18)(NIV) God isn’t unaware of what has occurred. He is aware of your level of thankfulness and your forgiveness- and where your heart is. Thank God that you are moving forward in a new direction. Thank God that there is freedom in the truth! John 8:32 says it straight: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Sure it may be a strange way to get set free; but at least you would be free.
Churches and people everywhere; including you need forgiveness. None are immune. None are perfect. What is most important is that whatever happens in life; your level of forgiveness is your responsibility and you are accountable for what you do. It doesn’t matter what anyone else does but what you do that is of importance. Should a church you are part of split; forgive. And then live. And forgive and live in thanks.
One of the largest issues facing many cultures and countries is fatherlessness. Children growing up without fathers are losing out. Whether or not a single mother raises her children; she still is not a father. A woman simply cannot teach a boy how to be a man. Just as much as the opposite is true. Men are needed and fathers must be elevated and celebrated. A father is more than what today’s society gives them credit for. We as a society cannot bow down or accept the notion that men are women, women are men; or that men and fathers are not needed. Without men- where would we be? The feminizing and diminishing of men and fathers needs forgiveness so that hearts and minds of people everywhere can change.
You see; men bring much to the table that people don’t recognize. Until we move beyond the mass media plan to remove men and fathers for all things women we won’t see the value of men. Imagine reading a Bible without King David; or even Jesus. Try reading a Bible without Adam and see how far you would get. There would be no life without a father; and God is the Father of it all. Whether you agree or disagree does not change the truth from being true. Men and fathers are needed. They have value. Period.
When we remove men and fathers from the equation we miss out on much. For example,
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
- 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
- 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
- 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)
- 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice
- 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
Children lose out and in big ways when fathers are not present. Just because a woman’s voice is louder does not mean men and fathers need not be heard. It is time for all to stand up for fathers!
The importance of fathers is one that cannot be escaped; regardless of what propaganda companies and the media want to distort your thinking to be. While sure there may be many fathers who are deadbeats; this does not excuse the scripture that makes it clear in 1Peter 3: “Wives, respect and obey your husbands in the same way. Then the husbands who do not obey the word of God will want to know God. They will want to know God because their wives live good lives, even though they say nothing about God.” There is a responsibility that women have to men and men have to women for it reads that men should love their wives. Just because a man or father may not be standing up as a woman would; isn’t because he isn’t able. It may just be that he has been so beaten down that his voice is gone. It’s time for forgiveness and reign and fathers to pick themselves up and women to be in the role of help mate so that we can live united in this society.
When men are disintegrated to nothing more than kleenex and portrayed as disposable it builds the stage for future generations to live in it. We as a society stop this eradication of men and what they contribute to society because we are only hurting ourselves in the long run. The Word commands all to honor their mother and father. It does not read honor their mother and mother. Hence; men are fathers and should be honored. Society needs to be reminded that it’s men who are leaders, breadwinners; men of God. Warriors and hero’s for their children. It’s men who are the majority of world leaders. It’s men God first created to begin mankind.
Through forgiveness on the parts of men for not standing up for themselves, women for diminishing men; and companies movements to feminize men we will be better able to see the value of men as a whole. We will be able to raise up future generations of children who will be in position to stand firm as boys to young men to men raising up their own future generations. This is a call of repentance of believing its acceptable to live in a society where men are not needed and that women are fathers on fathers day. It is an act of purest disrespect to dishonor people in such a way and if we all want restoration of our families it must begin with forgiveness. Forgiveness will restore families and through it; help us each to get over ourselves to recognize that we all must stand together united as a house or country divided cannot stand.
As we get closer to Fathers Day remember fathers. Remember the sacrifices they have made. While your father may not be the one you wanted; reflect and be thankful to God your Father who gave you life. Reflect on the fact that He will never leave or forsake you. He created you for a purpose and most likely it was not to put down a gender or role of another. And so on this fathers day relish in the fact that you have the power to be the change that the next father needs to raise up the next generation. And what an absolute blessing that is!