Is Forgiving and Forgetting Wise?
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘oh forgive and forgive’ or ‘I can forgive you but I can’t forget what you did’ and on it goes but is it really wise to forgive and forget? Seriously do you forgive and forget? Or hold on? And not only that is it possible to forgive and forget?
In understanding the process of forgiveness to the full; it brings with it many components. First and foremost for Believers is that it is between that person and the Lord. Sure you can seek another person for forgiveness of sins; except that really isn’t the best route or direction. Not only this; in the Bible it reads to confess your ‘faults’ which is different than ‘sin’. A fault may be being tardy although it’s not a sin. So in essence dealing with unforgiveness is an issue between a person and the Lord.
Now then; when it comes to forgiving is the emotional component that is tied to the unforgiveness. We already know we are to forgive; and even Peter knew that as his question to Jesus wasn’t ‘if’ he should forgive but how many times he should in Matthew 18:21. It’s the emotional component that keeps most people living in the misery of unforgiveness. Let me explain:
A person may claim that he/she has forgiven except their emotions reveal otherwise. The level of bitterness, resentment, angst, fits of rage, intolerance, lack of patience and all the other roughly 40 symptoms are evident. The person may believe that there has been forgiveness except that when there is the emotional condition of the person changes too. No longer is there the emotional attachment to what the situation was or who the person was. It is something that occurred in a time no different than walking the dog.
As a result; yes the Bible is very clear to take every thought captive no doubt. (2 Cor 10:5) except there is a difference in taking every thought captive and suppressing every thought. See; just because you don’t think about someone who hurt you doesn’t mean you don’t exhibit the symptoms of the pain of what the hurt caused. And this is where most get into trouble because they don’t recognize it. In my life I honestly thought I forgave although the symptoms were evident along with my chosen topics of conversation. Once I forgave it was my eye color and voice that changed; proof again that what is inside is always revealed outwardly whether good or bad.
So to answer the question is it wise to forgive and forget? It depends. If I needed to forgive you for eating the last of the gelato in the freezer they probably not. Why take up memory space right? On the other side; if we live in forgive and forget then what is the testimony? You wouldn’t know because well; you forgot.
When the emotional aspect of forgiveness is progressed through it not only changes the perception of events but also heals as a result. And it is Jesus who is the Healer; the one to bring freedom. Because the emotions are not raging over the very thought of whatever or whoever it was then the only thing remains is the fact that something occurred although it is not occurring now. The emotional component has no more power. This is why forgiveness is so much more than the utterance of a few words in passing just to move along about life.
If I forgave my biological mother and forgot there would be nothing further to ever be said. There would be no testimony; no further glory for God. There would be no evidence of fruit of what has taken place since that time. No. There would be nothing. And what a shame for Jesus to have died for no testimony of His goodness!
Galatians 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Forgiveness Tip #5
Forgiveness is freedom.
If you are struggling with forgiving someone, yourself or even God let us help. He created you for so much more and the last thing you want is unforgiveness to block the life He has in store! Visit www.julieblair.com
Watch Living in Forgiveness nightly at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
Image Belongs to its Owner