Are You Datable?
With more than 40 million people dating online one may appear as the best place to go. Find love in the comfort of your home and in your jammies; what could be better. While it may serve the purpose for many who venture to Match. com, Plenty of Fish, Checkhimout, E-Harmony or any of the others it’s a great thing. On the other side for others it’s a dipping pond of disappoint. The lies, the fake profile pictures, the cancellations; and the list goes on. Could it be that in order to get to the status of being marriable one has to be datable first?
In order to be datable here are a few things to consider and ask yourself before taking moments from the life of someone else.
1- Am I too busy? If you do not have the time to date then why put a profile online in the first place? Why try to meet someone if you are not able to commit to the time that it would take to do so?
2- Can I keep a scheduled date? If you are cannot commit to keeping a date then perhaps you should not venture toward trying to get one in the first place. If your children or other activities require you to not be able to commit then you should be mindful of the message it sends to someone.
3- Can I afford it? Many people have the misconception that it costs men and not women money to date yet they are mistaken. Sure it does cost men money to day; however, women too have to pay although in a different way. Studies continue to reveal that single women have to pay more annually for maintenance than married women and when single; there is a lot of competition out there. If women don’t play the game of ‘keep- up’ they will never land the man. Knowing that men are visual women have to spend the extra time and money to have the proper appearance in order to attract someone in the first place. Yes men typically do pay for a date although times have changed and now both are paying. Regardless; if you are not in position to afford it then don’t get yourself in the situation in the first place.
4- Are my priorities in order? If you have an interest of taking a woman out ‘only’ when the game isn’t on then how long will it last? There will always be a game on and trying to juggle all the games and women will only land you alone in the end. If your only love affair is with a television portraying men running on a field, quart, or ice arena perhaps recognizing this is the first step and then determining what your priorities are. It’s ok if you wish to have more time with your buddies watching games at the bar all weekend; just don’t expect a date with a real woman who wants your time. People are how they are when you meet them!
5- Am I in proper position to date? Is my car registered, can I drive to pick a woman up, do I have air conditioning. It’s amazing how many times I have heard that men in Dallas do not have air conditioning. In Denver or Seattle; ok it’s different. In Dallas in the heat of the summer to not have air conditioning is quite another story!
6- Am I emotionally stable? If you are not over your ex, exes; or parents divorce 25 years ago then perhaps getting into a dating relationship isn’t going to help. Two dysfunctional people together do not create function. Brittany Spears and Keven Federline proved this. Taking care of personal issues means less baggage to a relationship that would only cause it to end sooner than it should.
7- Are my finances in order? Now it’s not to say you have to have a perfect credit score; however, if you are not financially fit then spending your money taking care of financial issues would be the more prudent decision. Knowing that many dating situations lead to marriage; it would be wise to take care of all the areas of your household so when it’s time to date you are in the best position financially so it won’t be an issue in the long term.
8- Am I respectful of boundaries? When you respect yourself then it’s much easier to set boundaries. If you expect and give sex on the first date then there is a clear sign of no boundaries, prudence; or self control. It sends the wrong message and if you do not set boundaries then you are allowing the person to treat you any way you wish and you not respecting the boundaries of others will also send a wrong message. Be respectful of yourself and if the person you date isn’t for you; then that only means you still have your self respect in tact.
By taking the time to think about whether or not you are actually ready to date you will not only show yourself some self respect but those around you too. It’s not fair to those you wish to date to not be in position to at least drive somewhere because you haven’t yet taken care of the standard operations of being an adult. If dating leads to marriage then starting with self would be the first place to begin. It’s always better to date a healthy person before marrying one wouldn’t you think?