How Forgiveness Changes You
Forgiveness is not a game. Many toss it around like bocce ball on a Sunday afternoon. It is seen as something to do just to placate others in an attempt to have them believe that you are holy; oh so holy. It’s like those who want you to believe because they go to church that they are better than you. Yet those who know forgiveness will know that the life changes that come through forgiveness either will or will not be evident. When you forgive there is evidence of it; there is fruit. This would make sense as obedience to God’s Word does that-produces fruit.
How you change when you forgive is something that 1) most don’t know, 2) haven’t experienced, 3) is not really talked about. This makes sense because it’s hard to talk about and share an experience that never has been. And so this is why it is important to share how people change when they forgive; and forgive to God’s Word and not mans idea as they are two entirely separate things.
You see; forgiveness first and foremost is about obedience to God’s Word. One may be of another religion and forgive to the words although while good and appearing noble is not the best nor complete. Anything without God let’s just be real- is death and terrible. God’s Word is clear that ‘I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5. So in other words- if you do not have Jesus you are not in the realm of 1) grasping forgiveness to the full, 2) being forgiven, 3) forgiving, 4) bearing fruit. It’s all clear. Whether you like or not or disagree does not change anything. God’s Word is true yesterday, today and forever. And thus; as you forgive in accordance with God’s Word you will change because your obedience to it bears fruit.
When you forgive you are removing your self-focused, narcissistic tendencies and strongholds behind you. You are no longer focusing on the outward appearances and actions of others or even of yourself. No you have graduated from that. You see that the selfie-stick too can be sold in the next garage sale- or given to the neighbor. When you forgive you will see beyond where you were to that the Lord Almighty is who redeems and restores. You; through forgiveness, will recognize that you are not your own savior. This is why this requires explanation. Someone who believes he or she is his or her own god typically is challenged to recognize 1) the need for a savior, 2) that he or she is not the almighty thought to be. Forgiveness opens the eyes to the reality of what once was to what is and to what can be. If only we grasped that much sooner and didn’t spend decades living in unforgiveness. Or perhaps that was just me.
When you forgive you recognize that there never was a need to focus on such things that were meaningless It is not to state that there was no reason or time to not grieve or experience righteous anger; but let it be clear that bitterness is poison that rots the bones. Anger, resentment and separation from God are all ploys o the enemy are are traps. King Solomon states it clear in Ecclesiastes 1:2-3 Vanity of vanities, say the Teacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under the sun?’ (NIV) One needs to reflect for a moment about exactly how much vanity comes with being unforgiving? Isn’t really the focus of the unforgiver on self? And isn’t that focus meaningless when Jesus is the One who paid the price for our forgiveness? The focus of the unforgiver certainly is not on that of Jesus which therein lies the problem! And what comes with the wrongly placed focus? Vanity and toiling of course. It’s a downward spiral to the grave. It is when you recognize that allow your mind to get involved with anything destructive will destroy; your life will change.
Your life changes when you forgive. You are not the same as you were the moment before. Your ideas, thoughts, mannerisms, responses and interactions with people change. Your relationship with Christ changes. You change. Your life as a whole changes. The meaning and purpose of your life changes. Nothing is as it was nor will be as it is and it cannot be what it is at this very moment. This ministry would not be in existence because the very foundation of it required forgiveness. You, when you forgive, are a new creation in Christ simply be making the choice to be obedient. It is not about lip service for self glorification. People see through that. And that; is easy. Forgiveness is not; until you master it.
Bottom line is this: if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired it’s time to do something about it. It’s time to stop playing church and appeasing people. It is time to stop looking in the distorted mirror and seek the Truth. The truth is that there is a full life waiting for you. There is everything you could ever dream of and when you forgive; your life will change. You will move toward who you were created to be to do what you were created to do and for His glory. And that beloved; is how you change when you forgive.
Forgiveness should be the lifestyle of everyone; and especially for those who are followers of Christ. After all; it is Jesus that set the example. What must be understood is the importance of forgiveness in the life of a Believer so that in turn; the relationship with Christ that he or she has will be able to develop into what it should be and for His glory and Kingdom.
When viewed in its purest form forgiveness is only able to be given when the heart and mind are focused in the right arena. It is when the Believer says I will obey all of God’s Word; and not just what I want for today that fits how I feel. See; it is written clearly, ‘We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ’ in 2 Corinthians 10:5. (NIV) You will not find where it is do it sometimes or when you feel like it. For forgiveness to be what reigns; it must be through the application of a right and sound mind and decision of obedience to God and His Word with a willing heart.
When unforgiveness is the lifestyle for whatever reason; all people miss out. Individuals, families, communities and even nations miss out. Unforgiveness keeps people focused on themselves and not on the larger picture or even the fact that Jesus died on the Cross for each of our sins. Whether you like Jesus or know Him not; He still died for you. Any and all unforgiveness keeps people living in sickness, disease, turmoil; and torture. To stay living in unforgiveness simply means living in obedience, selfishness, and a myriad of other things with the foundation sin purely being rebellion.
Please understand that forgiveness is 1) a process, 2) not for the weak. It is for those who recognize that people are people and none are any different. It is for those who wish above all to be obedient to God for the expansion of His Kingdom. All make mistakes and all fall short of His glory. The important factor to recognize is that forgiveness is a pathway for restoration and reconciliation to Christ and that should be the most important focus for any Christian. Forgiveness may or may not lead to reconciliation and restoration with people; however, through obedience to God the way will always be made for what God intends.
As a result; not only does forgiveness heal and restore it is a demonstration of healing and obedience but also love toward oneself, for Jesus and for others. See, in Mark 12:30 it reads, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ If you live in unforgiveness you clearly are not demonstrating your love for Him because unforgiveness is the opposite of that. We continue to Mark 12:31 where it tells us, ‘The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.’ It is not possible to love others if you are not loving yourself. Unforgiveness not only limits your relationship with others, but yourself and obviously with Jesus. So long as there is a block within you- the block will be out of you as well. This hindrance is what reduces blessings from God but also any internal healthy relationships that are vitally important to growing God’s Kingdom.
It is vitally important that your life become one of forgiveness. This is not to say that what others may have done or not have done that wasn’t pleasing but rather harmful to you is acceptable. No. What it means is that you are demonstrating your love for Christ through forgiving. You are demonstrating your strength by living out in full what it means to be a Christian.You are being an example for others and that is vital for Christians to recognize. You are recognizing that while others are not perfect; neither are you. You are recognizing that not only has God will never leave you nor forsake you; He will give you the strength to do all things through Him who gives you strength. And that means you have it within you to forgive. You simply have to recognize the strength you have and the importance of what you give and receive when you forgive.
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There are times in life when you probably have been let down; and maybe even by God. It’s just life. Through this though you probably know you need to forgive those that hurt you and you may have had some expectations that come with forgiving. What most don’t realize though is what forgiveness is not. While there are many more than five things forgiveness is not; today we examine five. When you understand what it is not; it will make what bring more of what it is into your life.
- Forgiveness is not about other people. Many people believe that in order for them to forgive someone else must apologize when actually that is not true. See; the Bible is clear in Matthew 6:15 ‘But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ Forgiveness is about you and the Lord and not anyone else. If you really reflect on any situation that caused you pain you probably can see that it wasn’t as intentional as you may have first thought.
- Forgiveness is not about waiting on others to apologize. Chances are they never will. You are only setting yourself up for more heartache expecting others to apologize for something; especially if they 1) don’t know they did it, 2) don’t believe they are wrong. It’s better to just move on with your life and not allow yourself to have expectations that will only cause more heartache and turmoil in the future.
- Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook. Many people believe that if they forgive then it means that the situation is absolved and that the perpetrator got off easy. Not true! See; forgiveness is ensuring your obedience to God’s Word. Period. While someone else may repent or apologize for what he/she did does not mean there are not consequences. Someone in a marriage may have an affair and while it may be forgiven doesn’t mean the consequences are still not evident. When you go to the God about a situation needing forgiveness; remember that He will work it out on your behalf. The ego you choose is up to you: Edge God Out or Edify God Only. Your pick.
- Forgiveness is not lip service. This is the one that tripped me up for many years. I thought I forgave. I honestly did. I said the words with my own mouth; therefore I must have done it. Well; not so fast. You see; there are almost 40 symptoms of unforgiveness so to disregard the symptoms just because you say you forgive doesn’t ring true. It’s when you understand forgiveness in its entirety and what comes through the process of it that you will embark on a journey that is far beyond lip service. Don’t fall into the trap and so deceive yourself.
- Forgiveness is not meaning of forgetting. I’ve never understood how people can say ‘forgive and forget’ when it makes no sense! None whatsoever. If you forgive and forget- where is the testimony? I can attest that if I forgave and forgot there would be no forgiveness ministry! How could there be? It’s a fallacy so if you have fallen into that trap and beat yourself up for not forgetting; don’t worry about it. You weren’t supposed to. You are merely to just share how you have moved on and how much better your life is now that you have forgiven.
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6. Forgiveness is not easy. It is not for the faint who like to be victims and never grow in God. It is not for those who love the attention and blaming others. It is not for those who just love self adoration; no it is not. It is for those who wish to move on to the next stage of their lives, to grow in Christ and to live for Him. It is for those who are more about His Word and obedience than the hurts of others upon them.
Forgiveness is truly a lifestyle or at minimum should be of one who claims to be a follower of Christ. John 14:12 is clear in reading: ‘Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.’ If one is not able to get passed the point of forgiveness; then it’s certainly clear there will be no doing greater things than He. And aren’t you more interested in what you can do than what has been done to you? Forgiveness is what will allow that; unforgiveness will not. Choose carefully.
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Forgiveness is one of those tricky things that until you get it; it makes no sense. When it comes to forgiving others when they don’t deserve it; that can make it all the more tricky. It’s hard when someone hurts you and you have to be the one to forgive. Sometimes it’s not fair; but let it be known that it wasn’t fair when Jesus carried that cross for you and for me either. And so when it comes to forgiveness forgiving others when they don’t deserve it is just part of life.
So how do you do? Why should you do it? Well; I can give you the obvious. It’s a command. But that doesn’t typically justify it for most people; especially in our self gaining society. It’s not fair that we have to forgive when others did us wrong but here is the thing that must be stressed that I want you to get today.
Your level of forgiveness isn’t about what others have done to you. Period. I want to say get over it but that probably wouldn’t help much so let me share it another way. Your level of forgiveness is between you and God. Period. When you get that your life will change. And I wish someone told me that decades ago. You see; when you forgive you are focusing more on Christ and how He can redeem you than focusing on what others did to you that you can’t change.
When we look outward instead of upward we miss the point. We miss the point of Christ on the cross. We miss the point of His obedience and in laying down the foundation of it along with the message of forgiveness. There is nothing that can’t be done on your behalf but you have to choose. You have to choose to let go what others have done to you. You can harbor it but for what point? What will it get you? Let me tell you what it got me: bitterness, anger, broken relationships, separation from Jesus and a whole lot more. I didn’t feel justified in forgiving others because I was the victim; seriously. I was the victim. But is there the thing. The longer you choose to stay the victim you are just more disobedient and rebellious to God’s Word. And that isn’t a place that I wish for you to stay-trust me!
And so when we examine this further your level of forgiveness is about you making the choice to go to God and lay down you ego. You cannot ‘Edge God Out’ while ‘Edifying God Only’ as you cannot serve two masters. When you go to Him and relinquish the pain of what happened, the emotional attachment to how it made you feel; and what you have harbored you will be restored. You will be restored one step closer to the real you that God intended from the beginning. And all of this has nothing to do with other people or whether or not they deserve to be forgiven. Why? Because the very same thing could be asked of you. Do you deserve to be forgiven for the pain you have caused? What makes you any different? And case in point Jeffrey Dahmer got it- he gave his life to Christ before He was murdered in prison. In other words- none of us are deserving and when we remove our own idea of judgment of right and wrong and understand grace and mercy- we are changed.
If you look at those who have harmed you ask yourself if they truly knew what they were doing. Jesus said it clear: Forgive them Father for they know not what they do. And if we follow that how much do any of us really know what we are doing? So then how possibly are we to the ones to play God and choose whether or not to forgive when the Word tells us to forgive. It’s for our protection, healing, peace of mind and obedience that we must remove everyone and everything else from being a distraction so we can place our focus where it should be: our relationship with Christ and obedience for obedience is worth more than sacrifice.
The best news of it all is that when you release the pain of the hurt you are free. The more free you are the more able you are to love and see people as Jesus. The more love you have within you the more you are then able to follow the greatest commands which are to love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. Whether or not someone else is deserving of your forgiveness then isn’t even the focus because you seek the best things; the things above. And that is where the true freedom is. Recognize that regardless of where you are or they are; you and we are all the same. So forgive. Be the example of freedom that frees others. Jesus did it for you. So be like Him and do it too.
How does your future look? It is like a breath of fresh air or more like the stock market; not so good? Your future will have a different look to it simply based upon forgiveness. Your future delivered through forgiveness will tell the world where you are and where you are going. Easy as that. So the question is what do you want your future to look like? You can get the better future and through forgiveness what your future will never be the same.
What does this mean? It means that you may be at a fork in the road; and you may or may not know it. If you are like me; I had no idea! I had no clue 1) that I had unforgiveness, 2) how to deal with it, 3) the impact it would have, 4) that it would be the deliverance that I needed, 5) that a forgiveness and deliverance ministry would have been born out of it. This is what you don’t know when you live in unforgiveness. You can’t know. You can’t know what you need to know because what you need to know is blocked because you haven’t yet removed it and been healed and delivered. And that is what is keeping you from your real future. Of course it is inclusive of the entire future that God created you for in the first place.
Bottom line is this: if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired it’s time to get real. It’s time to stop playing church. It’s time to stop pretending everything is fine. It’s time to stop placating the message of forgiveness. It’s time to get the fact that unless you deal with it; your future will look like your past. It cannot look like anything else. I am not saying this because it’s funny; but because it’s what I lived. And for far too long!
What it is time for is to be honest, to look in the mirror, to humble thyself and to go before God and ask of Him: “What unforgiveness and it’s symptoms do I have? What in its entirety must I repent of? To whom do I need to forgive?” It is time to get the revelation that unless you understand it in full that there are almost ’40’ symptoms you may have one or two; or if you are like me I had them all and didn’t know it! It’s time to get that your future is waiting for you and it’s up to you to do something about it.
When and only when you grasp that your future is based upon the level of forgiveness you choose will your life change. It is only when you grasp that reality that you were created for more than what you are probably living right now and that on the other side of unforgiveness is where it is then you can be moving toward the life and its abundance. It’s only when you recognize that Christ died so that you don’t have to live in the wreckage and bondage of life that you can be healed and delivered. It’s when you step up and take the reigns of obedience to Christ will your future come forth and in big ways.
It is when you are on your knees before the Most Holy One being real that you are in fact a sinner and that you are ready for healing, deliverance and forgiveness to reign that your life will change. For me it was two full days of it. I cried the entire time because the pain of my past was so wretched. The horrific things that happened to me I couldn’t bear- and I didn’t have to! You see He died for me. And He died for you too. I was healed and my soul was restored. I was reunited with the Father in the ways unimaginable. My eye color and my voice changed! And this ministry came forth so that you too can be free, delivered and healed through the message of forgiveness. Think about the lives of those whom you will change once you too are on the other side. It will blow your mind. It did mind. And that’s the God we serve!
That wonderful future is there for you. You simply just have to make a choice- life or death. Freedom or bondage. Sure you may try to tell yourself you are fine- and how’s that working out for you? I did it so I know; I get it. I now see through. You may think you are so smart to fool others but fooling yourself is more dangerous and know you can’t fool God. But what you can do is go to Him. You can do that. I know you can. I know too that you can get to the full life that He already has planned for you. And I can tell you too that it’s far better than living in the high rise, sitting in owners boxes of NHL teams, flying in private jets and driving sports cars. It’s better than going to private Bare Naked Ladies concerts and having dinner with the Red Wings or Miami Dolphins; or sharing seats with Paul Newman. It’s better than all that. By far. So today get what’s better for you. Get forgiveness. Get free. Get your future.
For more about forgiveness watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ M-F at 9:30 pm on the UANetwork. Check your local listing.
Deliverance comes through many avenues and I remember the time when I just needed to be delivered from myself. I just couldn’t take it any longer. What I didn’t know was that all the time I spent seeking all the other ideas it’s what God revealed to me that forever changed my life. I needed deliverance and now understand that there is deliverance through forgiveness. That deliverance will too change your life.
You see Jesus came to set the captives free. So then ask yourself: “Am I free? Am I really free?” If you look deep within are you where you want to be? Have you achieved what you want to achieve? Are you living in the full abundance of what God has in store for you? If not why not? It’s all there; waiting just for you.
I knew there was a whole life for me. I knew it but knowing it didn’t change anything. I can know the sky is blue but so what? I felt for many years that I was retarded but couldn’t fix it. If you have been there you know how frustrating that it is and that it’s the most helpless feeling in the world. The best news is that as you forgive your deliverance and healing will be evident. How do I know? Experience.
The level of unforgiveness I allowed in my life was killing me. It was a slow death for decades and while I felt justified in harboring it; there could be no times of refreshing until I made the choice to be refreshed. Acts 3:19 is clear to ‘Repent, and seek forgiveness so that times of refreshing may come.’ NIV) So when we look at this first it starts with a repentance and then forgiveness. What comes after the seeking of forgiveness is the refreshing. This makes it clear that there is 1) a process to follow, 2) something that occurs during that process, 3) there is an end result.
For me it was the end result I was after. I wanted peace. I wanted to grow closer to Christ. I wanted an expanded territory. I wanted so much internally and prior to the point of forgiveness; I had no means of getting it. I couldn’t. What the process of forgiveness reveals is that there it is in and of itself deliverance. As you forgive you are being delivered of that which is not of God. As you forgive in accordance with His Word you are being forever changed into the person He created you to be. As you forgive the past will remain where it needs to be; behind you.
You will no longer do or be; or desire what you once did because you will be delivered as you forgive. You don’t need more therapy to talk about how you feel about the past. You don’t need to dwell on what others have or haven’t done for you that they don’t even know they should or need to do. You don’t need to focus on what you are or are not. You don’t need any of that. You only need forgiveness to move through you swiftly so that you are delivered. Remember that you don’t need to pray to be delivered for your trials for your trials are your deliverance; and through forgiveness you are delivered.
There is always talk about forgiveness and many scientists and doctors now affirm the Bible in stating that there is healing through forgiveness. Duh- as if the Bible needs mans approval! But yet again man seems to need to take the long journey around the mountain instead of just opening the Bible and following it. The one thing though that remains though; is that you can take all the science in the world and all the doctors opinions but if there is no repentance; true forgiveness is not in full. Forgiveness without repentance is not full forgiveness How do I know? God’s Word says so and guess what? God’s Word is the authority- whether anyone likes it or not. It does not change because someone who doesn’t understand or like it doesn’t agree. And so forgiveness comes through repentance.
You see; forgiveness kills. No doubt about that. Forgiveness is sin and therefore it would make sense that it would kill. Now it’s called a disease which is ironic because I’m sure there will be a day when people will get disability for having the disease when in reality it is just disobedience that can be cured with repentance; no need for any increase in Obamacare premiums on this one. The message remains. Forgiveness comes through repentance.
Acts 3:19 is very clear: ‘Repent and seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.’ (NIV) It’s not more clear than that. There is no refreshing until repentance. Therefore; the first step toward forgiveness is repentance. How then can you get to step two if step one is not even identified or taken. It is not possible to pick and choose which step to follow when and how. That is not of God. God is not a god of disorder but rather God is God of order. Therefore; it requires anyone who claims to be a Believer to follow everything in order. I pray you are starting to get the picture.
You may question why you have to repent if someone hurt you. Sounds like a super question but here is the thing: you harboring unforgiveness is just as much a sin as what the person did to you. Your repentance is not on the other person; it’s on you and you are responsible for it. Plain and simple. You are not repenting of what someone did to you; you are repenting for harboring the unforgiveness! See the difference.
As a result; you can forgive the person for hurting you which is what most do. They think that ends it. They forgive and it’s time to move on. Sure- except one thing: Your unforgiveness is not about the other person. It is between you and Christ. It is about your personal relationship with Him and your obedience to His Word. Let it be known that so long as you choose to be disobedient by being unforgiving and repenting of it; it is highly likely that your prayers are not being answered. Why? Because unforgiveness is disobedience and it serves as a blessing blocker. It is so much beyond what the doctors and scientists say! Unforgiveness is a spiritual manifestation that breeds in the physical. Not dealing with it at the root will not bring complete deliverance. It can’t!
What must be understood is the importance of repentance. It is through repentance that people’s lives are changed. It is your repentance for harboring unforgiveness that will change your life; and those of every person you come into contact with. For me personally; I was a victim. Period. I was abandoned at age 3. I was put into a foster home; not by my choice but by some CSI looking people. I was abused physically, verbally and emotionally in my adoptive home and they put me in a homeless shelter at age 15. I was a victim but here is the thing: my unforgiveness was my fault! What occurred to me was horrible and I pray that no one ever experiences what I did and that goes for harboring that much unforgiveness.
My unforgiveness was my disobedience and it is for you too. What other people do is on them and what we choose to do is upon us. You have the choice to choose life or death- forgiveness or unforgiveness. You then have the choice to be obedient to God’s Word and repent of it- or not. I pray that you do. I know the outcome of a life of forigveness through repentance. I have peace. I have a solid relationship with Jesus that can only come through obedience. Not only this; I am at the place where I am living out the full assignment on my life. How about you? Repentance an forgiveness paves the way for you. What we must understand is that nowhere in God’s Word does He approve of sin and disobedience. He just doesn’t. Why would He?
When there is repentance the refreshing times come so it reads in Acts. John 15:10 also spells it out in case you need more: “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.” Notice the condition of ‘if’. It’s up to you what you want.
You can choose to play pretend forgiveness and reap the so called benefits. There aren’t many benefits by the way as I did that for decades. Or you can stand up, get over yourself and claim the victory that was already done for you at the cross. You can stand up, repent; and be refreshed. God’s Word never returns void and He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will avenge all that was done to you- should you choose to rest in Him.
“I pray that today in the name of Jesus you would recognize that unforgiveness is as deadly as any other sin, that the enemy preys on you keeping it- and that Jesus is bigger than anything that has occurred to you in your life. I pray you get the revelation that He is for ‘you’ and He has a plan for your life. I pray that your heart is turned toward Him in repentance and that you lay down the burden of unforgiveness, resentment and bitterness down at the feet of Jesus. I pray that as you seek Him your life is forever changed. I pray that this isn’t something for some time when you feel like it but that it is for today that your life will be changed through repentance and forgiveness in Jesus Name. Amen.”
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” Monday-Friday at 9:30CST on the UANetwork starting September 1. Until then Tuesdays at 9:30. Watch previous episodes on demand at http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
We all know that anyone alive has had some experience of pain at least once. It doesn’t matter if you were the one who caused someone pain or if someone else caused you pain. The fact remains that there was pain and for most people that pain leads to unforgiveness. As a result; unforgiveness serves the purpose of being a distraction if you are not careful or aware. Unforgiveness is so sly in its innerworkings to where die from it without even knowing that it exists or that they suffer from it.
So how does unforgiveness serve as a distraction? It’s incredible really once you are able to see it; and that requires getting to a place of truly being an overcomer. To give you something to look forward I share with you exactly how it is a distraction so that you too can live the full life that God created you for.
1. Unforgiveness distracts you from your real purpose and assignment. God has a purpose for your life. Period. Whether or not you like God, agree with Him or believe in Him is irrelevant. He created you for a purpose. He created you before the foundation of the earth and the time you spend living in unforgiveness keeps you from not only getting closer to God; but also to getting your assignment. Let’s also recognize that unforgiveness plain and simple is disobedience and that disobedience is sin and sin separates. It distracts. It keeps you from knowing what your purpose and assignment is which means those who’s live you are to impact for His Kingdom too lose out.
2. Unforgiveness keeps you from progressing toward your future. Unforgiveness and its symptoms will wreck your life in ways you can’t imagine. I know the impact that it had on my life and while I was moving toward the future because by default if you are life you are aging; but it certainly doesn’t mean you are moving toward the future God created for you. You can’t. How can you go anywhere that God would want when you allow sin to separate you? Not only this; unforgiveness keeps you focused on the past therefore your present is the past which becomes the future. There is no future looking backward. If you want to progress toward your future it’s time to lose weight; the weight of unforgiveness will forever change you spiritually and physically.
3. Unforgiveness keeps you living a false identity based upon false presentenses. When you live in unforgiveness what happens is that your decisions are based upon the level of unforgiveness that is hidden deep in those dark places that people don’t want to talk about. Every decision made is based upon the driving force of unforgiveness. The bitterness, revenge, anger; resentment and more are all surrounding you like sharks ready to devour. As a result; the you that you create day in and day out is based upon the pain and hurt that caused the unforigveness in the first place. Every single thought, action and plan based upon something not of God does not 1) bring you closer to God, 2) reveal the real you. It can’t. You cannot live out God’s plan for your life while separated from Him at the same time. Unforgiveness serves as the distraction to keep you on the side of the enemy and not that of God. And a result; the life you just may be living is really not the one truly intended for you at all.
Unforgiveness is not a game. It is not something to talk about in passive nor is it just flippantly stating a few words and that’s it. No. It is about dealing with the issue at the root level. It is about surrendering to God and overcoming with Him what occurred in the past to allow Him to be the one who avenges those wrongs to turn them right. It is about seeing that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and that if you are unforgiving you have just given your life into the hands of the enemy. Do not allow the enemy such power. Do not be distracted by the ploy of allowing him to win. Do not give others the power to control your future. You are worth much more than this. It’s time to stop being distracted, pick up your sword of forgiveness and win the battle!
Have you ever thought about what something means to you? What does your spouse mean to you? How about your children? Your education? Your career? Your i-life perhaps? In the midst of all of these things we may see much; but what does it mean to forgive? In reflection of forgiveness when I looked at my life I started pondering what it has meant to forgive. As such; there is much.
Now I have a full teaching on what is forgiveness (https://julieblair.com/product/what-is-forgiveness-julie-blair/) but what it means to forgive is different. Forgiveness in Hebrew is two words: Nasa and Salah which together mean a pardon of iniquity.
What it means to forgive is that first you are ready for change. Nothing will change toward the direction you want if you are not ready for it. No Olympic athlete gets to the Olympics without first being prepared. When you are ready to forgive you and your life will drastically changed. I can attest to this as I have an entire ministry based upon forgiveness; and it wasn’t my plan before I forgave I can tell you that!
To forgive means that you are ready to let go of the pain and hurt. This can be quite challenging although beyond therapeutic I may add. To be honest I had no idea the depths of my soul that had been overtaken by unforgiveness. I didn’t know the amount of bitterness, sadness; and pure helplessness that owned me. I wasn’t until I purged the pain that I was able to see and be released in the name of Jesus.
To forgive means that you are ready to repent and be obedient to God’s Word. This too I had no clue about! Sad really since I sat in church every Sunday but yet was a miserable mess. I’ve since learned that where I go in my relationship with God is up to me. There is no such thing as forgiveness without repentance as Acts 3:19 is very clear: ‘Repent and seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.’ (NIV) Forgiveness too is a command so therefore by default; not being forgiving is not being obedient. To forgive means that you are mentally and spiritually; and emotionally prepared to do what God’s Word commands. Remember that it is obedience that is better than sacrifice. Yeah; I didn’t know that one either.
To forgive means that you are ready to grow in Christ. See; there was so much about unforgiveness and forgiveness I didn’t know. I didn’t get the fact that forgiveness wasn’t about anyone but me and the Lord. I thought it was just go tell someone ‘I forgive you’ and that was it. Well; I did that for decades and then learned how much of a lie that was! It also didn’t work because I still harbored unforgiveness which kept me disobedient. Go figure. I get now that when I forgive; it is my surrendering of myself to the Lord in obedience and guess what? He works on my behalf! He healed me! He restored me! It was Him who justified and righted all the wrongs done to me. He avenged me. I didn’t have to go and fight my battles. As a result; my relationship with Christ changed. It grew and I grew. I didn’t know going into it though that it would be so much. I had no idea.
And finally; to forgive means that you are no longer a victim. There may be many terrible things that have occurred in your life; but you aren’t the victim once you forgive. I’ve been through it all: abandoned at age 3, foster home for 2 years, abusive adoptive parents, homeless shelter- all by age 15! I know divorce, infidelity, molestation and more. And I know that through forgiveness I am healed and not a victim. You aren’t either. When you forgive all of it is removed. You are not who you were to allow what once was to be what is.
Forgiveness in Christ is the pathway to your future. Apart from Him you can do nothing so it reads in John 15:5. When you too recognize that forgiveness will heal your hurt, right your wrongs; and bring beauty for ashes you will never be the same. Forgiveness may mean something more or different to you; but let it mean that you are progressing. Let it mean that you are being changed in magnificent ways. Let it mean that your light is shining like never before!
Share with me how it’s changed you. I would like to know. Why? Because I care. Because He cares.
For more about forgiveness watch Living in Forgiveness on Tuesdays at 9:30 on the UANetwork. Starting in September it will be Monday-Friday at 9:30pm. To watch previous episodes follow here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
The past is time gone by. You can’t get it back and you can’t change it. If you want to build the future that is there waiting for you; you can do just that by forgiving your past. If you are a top salesman but wanted to always be a gym teacher; forgive yourself and go for it. There is no reason to dwell on what you did or did not do then; what matters is what you do now. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the time of yesterday or yesterday; but what does matter is what you are doing now to build that better future. Forgiveness is the method of travel to your future.
1. Make the choice to forgive. If you want to live a wonderful present and see the bright future the past cannot be what you live. There is a reason why the front windshield of a vehicle is larger than the rear. Make forgiveness the choice and know that until you do; you will live in the past. What you choose to do starts in your mind and today is the day for your mind renewal according to Romans 12:2.
2. Take back your power. When you choose to live in unforgiveness you are choosing to let others have all the power. Forgiveness and unforgiveness alike are not about anyone else but you. When you forgive and start living a life of forgiveness you are not allowing the sins and behaviors of others to put you in bondage. Recognize that people are allowed to treat you the way you allow them to. When they have all the power; they can do what they want. When you remove that power through forgiveness; you and your life will be on the path toward what you are destined for. It’s time for you get back what you have given away through unforgiveness. It took me years; decades to be honest to get the reality that I was living a life with no power because I gave it all away. Unforgiveness strips you of all of it!
3. Start living your real life. You can’t live your real life until you forgive. It is not possible. I can tell you from personal experience that it is not possible. Unforgiveness distorts your thoughts, behaviors; and identity. With all of that distortion how do you think you honestly could build the right life or one even following Christ to the full when God’s Word commands forgiveness? There is a plan for your life and unforgiveness keeps you from it. Once you make the choice to forgive and get your power back; your future belongs to you. And there is much power in that!
Forgiveness is the path to your future. Unforgiveness is the path of the past. It is up to you to decide what you want and the steps to take to getting it. Unfortunately many take the easy way out yet die much too soon. It is the strong that forgive. It is the strong that at all cost; do not give others the control to influence them through such nastiness as unforgiveness. If you want your future; the real future that God has for you it’s time for you to step up and get it. The rewards for obedience are there. The freedom that comes with it is there waiting for you. Everything you could ever dream of is right there- in your future. All you have to do is take this present to get that future and walk away from the past. It’s that simple. Build your future on forgiveness today. Then live in it!