You’ve probably heard it all; forgive. Forgive and forget. Forgive or you will go to hell; and on it goes. Sure we all know it. Forgive. Yes. We know. I’ve shared in the past what happens when you forgive; and let’s investigate what happens when you don’t forgive. Looking back to my life before I forgave I can testify much about the journey to help you move along.
When you don’t forgive:
1- You stunt your growth. Forgiveness is for those who wish to not only grow in Christ but within. When you choose to not forgive you are really just stunting your growth in every area of your life. Your relationships can’t grow, your relationship with Jesus stops; and you as a person can’t grow. There is no fruit bearing when you live in unforgiveness; just wiltedness overflowing to its slow miserable death.
2- You miss opportunities. God has a beautiful plan and purpose for your life and yet through unforgiveness you just end it all. There cannot be the opportunities that God intends because of your chosen disobedience to forgive. When you forgive who you are changes which means an expansion of territory and blessing; and in ways you can’t imagine. The choice to not forgive is simply denying anything good from coming your way. And what sense does that make?
3- Your health deteriorates. Unforgiveness eats your soul; and destroys the body. Related to unforgiveness is bitterness and it is spiritual poison that rots the bones. In the Story of Hannah she wanted a child yet was bitter. After she released her bitterness she became pregnant. Now this would make sense because how could someone with brittle bones carry a baby to term? Unforgiveness is also linked to arthritis according to a study by Harvard; although the Bible doesn’t really need Harvard’s proof but for those that like science; unforgiveness and the body being destroyed by it do go hand in hand. Other health issues related to unforgiveness are heart conditions, hypertension and others. For me personally when I forgave my eye color and my voice changed. It just testifies that if you live in the dark you will look like it!
4- Your level of self-absorbness and victim mentality increases. If you are alive you are probably a victim of something somewhere in life; just as much as you probably caused pain to another at some point. And? When you choose to live in unforgiveness you are only breeding your victim mentality that really everyone that is still around you wishes you would get over; they just don’t know how to tell you. So do yourself and everyone else a favor and forgive. It will help you get over yourself to see that Jesus already paid the price so you can quit making everyone else pay the price of just being around you. When I forgave my mother no longer was I focused on all the terrible things that happened because of her. My heart changed and it wasn’t any longer about what happened to me but what Christ did that set me free! You too will be able to see; and you will see that everyone else can be a victim too but that you will get further being a victor!
5- God can’t use you for what He initially intended. I knew God had a plan for me and I knew there was a call on my life from an early age; I just didn’t know I was the one in the way. Go figure! It was after I forgave that real opportunities came forward. Sure I had done plenty in my former ways and life although when God opens opportunities it’s entirely different. How else do you think I was able to be on The Today Show sharing the testimony of forgiveness in Christ? That wasn’t me! That was all Him and He wants to do big things in your life you just need to lay down the unforgiveness so He can move and you can groove; in Him!
6- You separate yourself from God. Unforgiveness is rebellion to God’s Word; period. It’s your choice to forgive and your choice to not forgive so pick one. Know that His Word tells us in Deuteronomy to forgive so that ‘you and your children may live’ so that’s something to think about. I didn’t know how far from God I really was. I played church and that that going every Sunday meant something; and boy was I shocked to learn how much of a pretender I was. Perhaps that is you. If you want to get closer to the Lord then ask Him to identify the areas of unforgiveness you need to deal with. Don’t rely on your own wisdom; since it’s probably the same amount that got you where you are in the first place. If you want to get closer to God then forgive. If not; then live in your mess but don’t blame Him! You were warned!
7- You die sooner. There is no way around this. You don’t forgive you die sooner than God intended. Not only that; you will die sooner in ways that you wouldn’t want to. They say time heals wounds but that is rubbish; forgiveness does. If it were true that time heals wounds there wouldn’t be so many old, angry bitter people in the world; who have just been living dead for decades. How much living will you truly be doing when you aren’t living the actual life He created you for?
See; you cannot live life dead. That is not living. You will only go through the motions and probably medicate yourself along the way and again; that is not living. Jesus came to set the captives free and to bring life in abundance and there really is life in abundance- you just have to get it. It’s there waiting for you!
You have everything within you to live the life God created. There is no doubt. He didn’t miss anything because He is perfect and He loves you. There is a life waiting for you and if you simply disregard this as what I hear so often,’I don’t have any forgiveness issues. There is just one person I can’t wait to see die’ or ‘I don’t have to forgive’ well then pray that God increases your self-awareness. You can be filled with wisdom and yet still self-unaware. King Solomon proved that! Don’t be so deceived to think that there is nothing you don’t have hidden in those places that can only be identified by the Holy Spirit; because that’s what I did. I truly didn’t believe I had any unforgiveness yet I actually displayed almost all 40 of the symptoms. So don’t do what I did. Take this to heart and be free so that your future that is waiting will come quicker than the journey from your past.
For more about forgiveness and walking out your purpose watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
To have Julie speak at your church or business visit www.julieblair.com
Forgiveness for many is this abstract concept that we’ve all heard for a lifetime to ‘do it’ but yet beyond that there isn’t much. Sit in any church and any pastor anywhere in the world will tell you there is nothing new there. It’s what happens when you forgive that sometimes no one talks about; which is course there must be a reason. Whatever that reason or reason are is not as important as actually know what happens when you forgive.
To begin forgiveness is both an event and a process. Through the event things occur and equally as such; the process of forgiveness numerous things are also occurring; and sometimes simultaneously. So what it is that takes place when you forgive?
1- There is a release within is displayed outward. When you harbor unforgiveness it is on display whether you like it or not. What is in the heart comes out the mouth and well; unforgiveness is no different. When you release the clutter of it; not only will you feel it physically but others will see the release. They may not fully understand what has taken place although they will know there is a transformation.
2- Your physically body will change. When I went through the process of forgiveness I had no clue how life changing it would be; to my body. I remember those days I spent in my room surrendering all the pain, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness that was taking up space in my mind, body and spirit and had really no idea of what was actually taking place. Sure I had knew Romans 12:2 where it tells us to be transformed by the renewing of my mind although I didn’t catch on that it meant the body too. As a result when I had my first phone call after that experience I sounded different. The tone of my voice was different. Not only that; my eye color changed. This would make sense as when we make the choice to live in darkness we are literally surrounded by it; and I definitely was I just didn’t know it or even that unforgiveness is a form of darkness.
3- Your relationships change. Your relationships change because your heart is no longer as it was before you forgave. Those in your life will experience the new and softer you and in ways that I can’t begin to describe! My relationship with my biological mother changed drastically where I didn’t hate or resent her any more; my heart changed to accept and love her as Jesus did. The fact that she abandoned me all those years ago wasn’t something for her to pay for any longer. I was free and so was she. The release of forgiveness releases the bloom of your relationships because the bondage over them is removed.
4- You are changed. You are not the same person as you were before you made the choice to forgive; you can’t be. You cannot go through a life changing process and then be just as you were. The change is too dramatic. It would be similar to those who return from tour of duty for the military to come back with nothing being different or parents to go back and live as though they did before having children. It simply cannot be done. You are not who you were which means nothing in your life will ever be from that moment on. And praise God for that because the direction you would have gone would have only been further from Him.
5- The door to your life and purpose can open. Anything that is not of God that you allow to enter your life is a hindrance. Any hindrance only separates you from God; and that includes unforgiveness and your thinking. What happens is that any distortion of thought will keep you operating at a false level of action. Sure you may have a ‘good’ plan and life but that does not mean it is the ‘God’ plan for your life at all. When you forgive, you are changed. This means that going back to what you were once doing in the way that you were doing won’t be the same. It can’t be. You are not who you were when you were doing what you were doing. And as such trying to be who you were when you are not will prove to be very uncomfortable. Now this is not to say that you have a new identity and you should just go switch careers by any means but what it does mean is that for who you are becoming in the process of forgiveness; new opportunities will come. They can’t not!
You may know right at this very moment that God has something big in store for your life; and He does. Yet for some reason you just can’t seem to get to it; regardless of how many classes you take or life coaching sessions- nothing seems to work. That would be correct. The correct doors will open for you to enter and with ease because you will have moved yourself out of the way for God to work and through the process of forgiveness; you are becoming more who He created you to be which means the doors He desires will open. My testimony is proof of this. There is no way for me to write about forgiveness had I not walked through it. There is no life on the side of death in any realm.
6- Your relationship with the Lord will deepen. When the internal clutter is removed your hearing increases, you will walk in higher level of authority because you can and understand it; and you will grow in Him and His love in ways that you just have to experience for yourself. The way in which you see other people and their struggles will be more in line with His Word. Your heart for people will change and how you love and receive love from others will change; all because there is more of Him operating in you. It’s always been there it was just unforgiveness covering it all up. When it removed; the freedom to explore your relationship with the Lord will expound exponentially and for the betterment of His Kingdom.
7- You will be on your way to become who God intended in the beginning. God created you with very specific attributes and what a glorious things that is! The God of the universe had you in mind from before the foundation of the earth. You are something special dear beloved; and the enemy wants to destroy every bit of it. The best news is that when you forgive you are removing the enemy’s assignment to destroy you. You are taking the steps toward becoming who God created you to be from the very start. Whatever was eating you from the inside out will no longer have the power to control you; to rob you of your real identity. As you experience the process of forgiveness you will begin to be revealed to you and to the entire world. Gone is the past and everything with it and the real you can begin to live as God intended. The new wine can be poured into the new wineskin after all!
We serve a God who makes the impossible possible. A God that has every good thing in store for you who withholds no good thing. He has it all for you and while there is a plot to steal your life; through simply forgiving you can be restored to God’s original design. You can become who He created from all along. It’s right there all you have to do is get ready and do it! And do it before it’s too late.
For more about forgiveness watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
Life is full of choices. It’s estimated that adults make 35,000 every day and most probably without even thinking about them; an irony in and of itself. When we examine the choice to forgive or at least placate that that forgiveness has taken place it has to cause one to question what kind of fruit is beared as a result. Hence the figs, fruit and forgiveness come into play.
In the Parable of the Fig tree there is much to learn about repentance and Christlike living; yet as a society we still continue to fail and fail miserably. It is time for change. Aren’t you ready? How often have you been staring in the mirror knowing that there is something beyond what you see; yet you still are where you are?
In Luke 13: 6-7 it reads, ‘“A man had a fig tree growing in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it but did not find any. 7 So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any.’… (NIV) The scripture continues although stopping at this point is pertinent because the question to reflect upon is what fruit do you have growing that is hidden? And hidden by unforgiveness? The tree is there; but it doesn’t bear fruit.
How many years and how many people are looking at you and not seeing what is there? How much longer are you going to allow your fig to not be found? You see; just because something isn’t found doesn’t mean that it isn’t there or that it doesn’t exist. It means that it isn’t ‘found’. It means that there is something hidden to uncover.
It was three years that the man was looking; and found nothing. Not one fig. Imagine three years of not seeing any change and then reflect on this: many people live lives where there is no change; yet they see it not. Further; this gentleman went three years before it is clear he spoke with the caretaker. How many years of your life have gone by where you may not have seriously taken inventory of your genuine level of forgiveness? How often have you ‘looked’ at it but did nothing further?
You see; until you get beyond ‘looking’ nothing will change. We see in verse 8 it reads, ‘“‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it.’ What we see is that there were steps taken to make the change. An action was to take place in order to get to that next level of fruit bearing; the same with forgiveness. If you simply identify something and move on but never actually deal with it then you will be where you are long after your future has become your past.
If you are believing or blaming God for something that hasn’t yet occurred; ask Him if there is unforgiveness. Ask Him what must be done because there probably is something you may not be aware of. Don’t get caught in just looking and passing by. Don’t do that.
Unforgiveness is one of the biggest blessing blockers in anyone’s life. It hinders blessings, the ability for God to use you to His desire; and it decreases your hearing from Him. It will leave you empty and further separated from Him than you can ever realize. It destroys relationships, it destroys business deals; and it does destroy every aspect of a person’s life. It that what is happening to you in your life right now? Waiting and whaling instead of soaring and singing? It’s time now to decide to grow fruit and see the figs of your future.
For more about forgiveness watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
When you think of how long you may have suffered from something without knowing what it was how long would you say? The woman with the issue of blood in Matthew 9 is a testimony on many great levels with much to learn from. Forgiveness is one such area where this testimony may shed light to your own personal journey with the Lord.
This woman’s issue; which by the way her name is never mentioned. This is curious although if you knew her name would it matter because she probably would still be identified by her issue and not her name but I digress. Her suffering was 12 years in the making before she reached Jesus. An issue of blood for a woman during her days would be much different than for women today. We may think of such an issue today as endometriosis or something related. Her condition was such that kept her ailing for many years; much like those who walk in unforgiveness.
What is most fascinating about the testimony is her perseverance for healing; for answers.So picture Jesus healing other people and being the great I AM and mobbed by people everywhere and then as it is written in scripture ‘suddenly’ He is touched by a woman. Now for her it probably was not ‘suddenly’ but rather a long, arduous, painful journey that led her to receive her ‘suddenly’ as in ‘suddenly healed’. She tried everything. What isn’t known is how many other times she tried to find Jesus or of this is the first; although what is clear is that when she got to Him she get her healing. It is written in the King James Matthew 9:21 ,’ For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.’ What must be made clear are several things:
1- She knew what she must do in order to be made whole- which was get to Jesus.
2- She wasn’t whole because if she were she wouldn’t have needed to get to Him at all.
3- She learned that obviously through 12 years of searching she needed something more than what she had been given or found.
4- Man in all his infinite wisdom still does not have the answers.
5- There is no wholeness or restoration to the full without the touch of Jesus.
When we relate this to forgiveness; there is no fullness of forgiveness without Jesus. Sure people daily can say some words that sound great; but that’s lipsmack. That doesn’t mean anything. When there is forgiveness there is a healing that takes place; a wholeness. There is a complete transformation within! One cannot simply transform their own selves in their own thinking that caused them the problems in the first place. It is not possible. If it were; then most people would not be in the situations they are in in the first place. Nothing that any of us do without Jesus can bring wholeness. Nothing!
This woman is proof of this! She is proof of what occurs when simply touching the hem of His garment. His garment! She is proof of what happens when we get to the end of ourselves and our quests for something that can only be done through and by Him. Your personal level of forgiveness is equally the same. You may try and try in all your might; yet your attempt is futile because without Him you will tire yourself and still be in need of something more. With Jesus; everything comes with Him.
As the testimony continues Jesus knew the power moved from Him as He felt it. It was that strong! “But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.” (v22) What we can learn from this is that is was her faith that made the way. Her faith!
You see; many people who harbor unforgiveness also lack faith but not in the way most think. Sure they may have faith that that their favorite team will win the championship; but they don’t have the measure of faith to believe that through Jesus they can forgive; that they can trust Him to heal their pains and that He really is on their side. They don’t have the faith to believe that when they give the burdens to Jesus He will carry the load. And so on the cycle of misery goes; along with more medications and anger management classes. Year after year.
I didn’t know the depth of forgiveness until I was faced with it. I had faith in the Lord for many things but when it came to forgiveness; it was being vulnerable in the most vulnerable way possible. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do because it meant I had to trust that Jesus would be there; that He would bring justice to me and for me. And He did; but I had to step; like the woman with the issue of blood.
Reflect on her for a moment. How vulnerable do you think she had to be to even get herself to a place where Jesus was? People everywhere and if she were found out then what? How embarrassing right? To be caught with such an issue would be humuliating to say the least! And yet she sought. She had faith that if she got there her life would be changed. And we read again ‘”But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.” (v22)
It’s so simple that we complicate it. All we need to is take the step. There is no reason for anyone to suffer unnecessarily; not even you. When you get to that place of being sick and tired of being sick and tired go to Jesus. Reach out and touch Him and you will feel His Presence. You will feel the healing that comes in that instant like it did for the woman with the issue of blood. You will be made whole; restored. You can’t not be. He is the Redeemer. He is the Healer. He is the Almighty! He is also there waiting just for you.
Watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ weeknights at 9:30pm CST on the UANetwork.
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