Forgiveness changes things. In fact it changes everything. It changes the heart, soul; and life of the forgiver. There is a perception correct that occurs through forgiveness.
When you live in unforgiveness; you are able to see life from the one vantage point that you have- yours. With unforgiveness in and breeding in you ask yourself: how correct do you think the perceptions you have could be with something so negative living in you? Not sure? Well; then let’s add some of unforgiveness cousins for fun and see! How about a little resentment? Bitterness? Anger? Impatience? Are you starting to get the idea now?
I didn’t realize just how incorrect my perception of everything was. My perception of relationships, perception of my biological mother; and most important my relationship with Christ. My life was being lived based upon incorrect perceptions deeply rooted in unforgiveness. It wasn’t until I forgave that it was corrected. It wasn’t until I forgave that I was able to start living.
One of the biggest perception correction I experienced was regarding my biological mother. What I knew before I forgave her was that she told me she was going to get pizza and never returned. What I knew and remembered was that she didn’t show up to the final visit that we were scheduled to have with the social workers. My perception was that she abandoned me, didn’t want me and surely didn’t love me. My perception was that I was not worthy of love and therefore; unloveable. I lived a life based upon this incorrect perception.
How was this incorrect? Well; when you live in unforgiveness you are not able to see any other vantage point than yours. Once I became obedient to Christ and repented for my unforgiveness toward my mother and then forgave her for abandoning me I was able to listen to her. I was able to hear what she had to say and receive it. What did I receive? More than I ever could have imagined!
My biological mother shared with me that she never intended for me to be placed in foster care. She never intended to ‘not’ show up for the final appointment with the social worker! She went on to share with me that she was given an ultimatum by the social worker: sell me to him for 10k or never see me again. He was buying and selling babies on the Canadian Black Market. When she rejected his offer he changed the appointment time and because she didn’t drive; she couldn’t get there. She never saw me again. That was her side of the story.
For all those years I lived with the hate, resentment, fear of abandonment, forgiveness and many others based upon an incorrect perception! I made life decisions based upon all those things not knowing that they were not only incorrect; but were killing me. How about you? What do you think is behind the door of forgiveness that you have yet to open?
Once I listened to all of what my mother had to share; my life changed. I no longer had the resentment and hatred with deep-seeded unforgiveness breeding in me. My heart was changed. I no longer saw my mother as the fat, stupid degenerate that I always believed she was. (Just saying) No. Not any longer. I saw her as God sees her. I saw her as a woman who lost her child; a woman who suffered much. And a woman who against all odds chose life.
Forgiveness forever changed me. It brought me closer to Christ and it will too. It brought healing to every ounce of my being; including a change in my eye color and voice. It brought a change in perception. It brought humbling in ways unimaginable and it will for you too.
There is someone in your life right now waiting for his or her chance to share the truth with you. There is someone who is waiting to see you be free from what you have harbored deep within to this point. Are you ready to receive? Are you ready to forgive? I pray that you are as you are too valuable to waste away in the land of unforgiveness. I pray that you are ready to see with the 20/20 vision that God has been waiting for you to receive!
Believers are called to forgive. It is a requirement in the Word of God. Matthew 14:15 tells us: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (15) But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Thus as a result; the traits of the forgiver are noticeable.
1. The Forgiver is focused on God. For the Forgiver there is no time to be distracted by things not of God. The Forgiver knows how and why to protect his/her heart and that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. The Forgiver follows Psalm 119:10 where it reads: “I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.”(NIV) The Forgiver is not going to lose sight and allow anything to get in the way of the relationship with Christ as that would serve no purpose other than destruction. Matthew 6:21 reads, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” and the Forgiver is well aware of where the pure treasure is.
2. The Forgiver is unmoved. The Forgiver knows that anything that infiltrates the mind and heart impact the body. The Bible is clear that bitterness is spiritual poison and allowance of anything emotional and not of God would only move and not be standing on the foundation of the Word of God. 1 Cor 15:58 gives clear instructions: “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” When you know what you stand for and what you stand on; it’s much easier to stand. When you don’t; it’s much easier to fall and when you fall unforgiveness creeps in. The Forgiver is not moved or controlled by the sins of others.
3, The Forgiver is loving according to God’s Word. When a person is not forgiving it shows. When a person is loving it too shows. When there is no love it is challenging to be forgiving just as much as it is hard to be loving without forgiveness. Mat 22:37: Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ When there is unforgiveness within the heart of man the others are not truly possible to the level that they should be. The Forgiver keeps a strict focus not only on God’s Word but also living it to the full.
The Forgiver’s heart is revealed if you pay close attention. While these are three; there are more. A Forgiver’s heart has the power and ability to impact and influence people’s live for personal change and growth; but moreso for God’s Kingdom. The heart does most of the physical work for a person; so why not make the work it does for you be the best that it can be? Change your heart condition today by simply forgiving.
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things in life for people to do. There are a myriad of reasons why but most importantly; the main reason is self. Yep. Self gets in the way. Overcoming yourself to get to a place of forgiveness will change your life and those around you.
You see; most of society is all about self and self focus. Some are even known to have books of selfies with one for each day. And all of us should be so pleased right? Again; all about self. Yet when we break it down to its core; forgiveness isn’t about self at all. It’s about getting over self to live another way.
Forgiveness is a command. Period. The Word doesn’t read or say to forgive if you ‘feel’ like it. I know it’s a shock to learn but true. If you want the Lord to forgive you then it’s up to you to make up your mind to forgive others for what they have done; else you are the one suffering the consequences of your chosen disobedience. As it goes with anything; it’s your choice. So long as you are more focused on you than living as one should if you claim to be a Christian then your life will reflect it and not in a good way. I
When you make the choice to get over yourself to come to a place of forgiveness you will see that it is much more about how you feel. God doesn’t really operate in ‘how you feel’. He just doesn’t. And neither should we. This is why we have to get over ourselves and do what is commanded and not live by our feelings. Your feelings will probably misguide you on any level. All one has to do is either look in a mirror or closet and see what feelings have led to right?
If you want true peace in your life forgive those who have wronged you. They probably haven’t a clue! They are just like you in that you too have probably hurt others and were not aware. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made as who are you to hold judgment against yourself? Forgive society for causing such a selfish and narcissistic society in the first place if you must! Regardless; make sure that you do lay yourself down and forgive. Don’t harbor it or all
Forgiveness is something abstract to many in the church and the unchurched alike. Some think it’s just something that happens over time while others think it’s just lip service; and yet still others just don’t think about it because well; why give it time or energy. There is much on the topic of forgiveness although it’s quite common to hear people say there isn’t much on the topic. They are correct for the level of time and energy they have put into wanting to learn about it and grow from it. So the question is where does forgiveness begin? The heart? The Mind? The neighbor? Where does forgiveness begin?
Forgiveness begins in the mind. There is no other place for it to start. Sure one may argue in the heart although if the heart and mind are not in alignment; then there is dissent within. And this is where most live. They live in internal struggle of what forgiveness is and where to begin to get internal freedom.
It’s really that simple. It starts in the mind. You have to make the choice. You have choose to to align your mind with what it is that you want to achieve. It is up to you. No one can do it for you. No one but you. It is up to you to decide where in life you want to go and the choice to forgive is no different.
You see; people believe the lie that time heals all wounds. No it doesn’t. It’s absurd to think that just because you are 10 years older you are just healed because a decade past. Time does not heal wounds. Dealing with them does. One only need to see how many angry people there are still fighting and angry that they didn’t inherit mother’s china when she died. That in and of itself should be proof that time doesn’t do anything but steal what could have been different.
So on this day; this day that is yours think about what you are choosing. Think carefully because every decision you make begins in your mind. Don’t waste a second, minute or hour not thinking. Make the choice in the moment to forgive.
It’s a funny thing where people think they know something they don’t. Perhaps you thought something and were so solid in your belief and then ‘oops’ you were wrong. Yeah it’s happened to me to. Boy was I eating crow.
Judgment is one of those things where it keeps us focused in the wrong places and on all the wrong things. I remember moving from Denver to Dallas and going to get a bottle of wine on a Friday evening and hearing a man make a comment to me ‘another pretty woman alone on a Friday night’. Ouch! I cried. Pathetic yes I know but what I can say. I have my moments.
As I later reflected on that I also saw how other women are judged to. See; the pretty people get judged because they just must be so vain right? They must be stuck up or something along those lines is what people think. Others feel sorry for them and think ’tisk tisk she can’t get a date. It must be so horrible for her’ all the while those who may not be so pretty or perhaps are chubby are judged too. ‘Tisk tisk if only she lost weight she would be pretty.’ And the saddest is that through this judgement all the great women are home alone on a Friday night!
We simply have no clue what is going on in the lives of others. We just don’t. What you think is what ‘you’ think but is that reality? You don’t know until you know and if you don’t know then what on earth are you making your judgments on?
Debbie Gibson came out a few days ago feeling the need to explain to the world her weight loss and her physical appearance. If you don’t remember her think 1980’s singer who sang ‘Shake Your Love’. She is battling with Lyme disease and it’s caused some unexpected things in her life. Is it anyone’s business? Nope. Yet people have criticized her appearance without knowing one single thing.
How often have you criticized someone without knowing? How often have you had judgment in your heart because of something you thought you saw?
How do you not judge?
1- Remain focused on the Lord
2- Speak to others what you would want spoken about you
3- Know that what you see probably isn’t
4- Ask yourself how you would feel if you were judged in the way you are judging- and then stop
5- Recognize that people are people and none are better or worse
We’ve all been there thinking we know when we don’t. We just don’t. And if we did our hearts would move from judgment to compassion. The question is why not start with compassion? Why not get rid of the old ways of judgment of others and move to a new compassion revolution? Get on board now and fill your heart with compassion for others. You never know when it’s going to be the one thing that you need that will change your life. Go on- I dare you.
It’s incredible that there are so many who push the ‘feminine’ agenda and all about the power of women unless it’s the likes of Sara Palin or Maria Kang; or those who are prettier than they are. Why ladies; can we all not come together to celebrate the essence of women instead of hating each other? Don’t we get enough of this from television commercials, men, religion; and everything else? It’s a worldwide issue and we together have the power to make it stop. It doesn’t matter if you are in Australia, Saudi Arabia, Canada or Tokyo it’s all the same,
The latest story of of the 32-year-old Maria Kang who is a fitness model and former beauty pageant contestant-oh and military wife and mother of 3. She posted a picture wearing workout attire with her children asking ‘What’s Your Excuse?’ The backlash she has received is enormous! The question is ‘why do so many women care what other women are doing’? Why are you giving so much time hating one woman when you could be loving yourself?
For women who want to or say they want to embrace each other; stop the bickering. Stop the backbiting. Stop focusing on what other women are doing. Stop comparing and blaming everyone else for your body image issues. Just stop it.
Women need to look at women for who they are. Maria Kang is a military wife, she is a mother of 3; and she is judged for what she looks like. If you feel bad about yourself after looking at models or beauty queens; then stop looking at it. If you know eating fries isn’t healthy; then stop. It’s that simple.
So long as women judge women for being too big or small; for being too pretty or ugly we will never advance. We will never be friends. We will never be in business together. We will never get past the small-mindedness of talking and gossiping about people to the level of speaking about ideas and ventures.
Ladies let’s get past what we think other women should be doing or looking like and start focusing on what we individually can and should be doing for the best change in our lives. Let’s stop the misogyny and celebrate women together. Don’t you agree?
Why wait until Thanksgiving to share what you are thankful for? Start today!
Most people dread Mondays! It’s traffic, being late, back to the routine of life and all the other stuff that people experience. It’s all in the thought process. Mondays are good. They just are. Say it with me: “Mondays are great!” See, I knew you could do it.
Here are 5 reasons why Monday’s are great:
1- You are one step closer to your dream, vision; or goal. Last week is gone so why not celebrate Monday and have a positive attitude about it?
2- You may not be where you want to be; but you aren’t where you used to be. Most people look forward to Friday all the while missing the reality that most of what is going to get them to their ultimate dreams typically starts on Monday and ends Friday.
3- It’s the start of a new week; unless you start your week on Sunday. New beginnings are always wonderful.
4- For men: Monday night football. For women: Dancing with the Stars. I couldn’t resist.
5- If you are experiencing it it means that you are still alive. Isn’t that one reason enough?
Bottom line is that if you are constantly looking forward to any other day but the one you are experiencing you are never really experiencing life at the moment you are living. It’s time to stop focusing on the specific day and start focusing on the life you have to live!
It’s been said if you ask a man what he’s thinking and he says ‘nothing’; he isn’t lying. It must be nice to be a man and have that much space to be in position to think about nothing. Most women have not yet mastered the idea of thinking nothing or that they actually can do it.
The question then is: ‘what are you thinking about?’ Do you even know? Perhaps you are not getting to the life that you truly want because the thoughts in your head are creating too much clutter.
A few ways to combat the thoughts and get over the stinking thinking are:
1- Know what you are thinking about. Most people don’t even realize what it is they think about and when they get it; it’s a shock! It would be no different than listening to and singing raps songs only to realize they are all about things that you say you don’t stand for!
2- Forgive. By forgiving someone who hurt you; the thoughts about what that person did will be gone. Gone too will be the resentment, bitterness, anger; and even revenge thoughts. Your mind, body and soul will be at peace to allow you to think on much better and positive things to move you in the direction you want to go. The emotional baggage will only hold you back and weigh you down in the end!
3- Prioritize your activities. If you try to do all things at one time you won’t be as successful as you would be doing one thing at a time. While years ago mastering multi-tasking was a good thing; studies continue to reveal that those who do aren’t nearly as focused or productive. This makes sense as how can one be productive with only 30% of focus going to one thing at a time? It takes longer to get one thing done and by prioritizing items there is more focus toward that one thing which clears out all the rest of the mind clutter. There are less geniuses in the world today because of lack of prioritizing and ability to concentrate. Create a system that works for you so that you can accomplish more and not get bogged down with extra thoughts. It doesn’t have to be complicated; just what works for you.
4- Breathe and Relax. By including breathing and relaxing into your day you will increase the balance in you life. There is nothing wrong with taking a 10 minute walk to clear your mind. Deep breathing exercises are known to help many while others simply go and pray and return refreshed. It’s ok to not be superman or woman!
5- Create Positive Daily Thinking Habits. It takes work to not be defeated by the thoughts in your mind. It takes work to not be overwhelmed by rude people, those who can’t drive; and everything else that comes with the world we live in. It is a choice to think about what you think about and it’s just as easy to create a good habit of thought patterns as it is a bad one. What you think you are you are.
These are just some simple tips to get you started. When you really see what thoughts you have allowed in you may see the need for change. There is a big world of living to do and there is no reason to be defeated by your mind. Get out of the rut of stinking thinking and be forever changed by new thoughts and patterns! There is no reason to be defeated and living in clutter when it’s just as easy to be productive and free.