Do Narcissists Deserve Forgiveness?
If you pay close attention to society and the people in it; you will see much. The level of narcissism is increasing and at a faster rate than people recognize; which would make sense as it seems the spirit of deep sleep has covered people and countries. Regardless of this; forgiveness is still required whether you are the narcissist or you choose to surround yourself with one.
Narcissism in its truest form really is self-deception. It shares such traits as:
- A gradiose sense of self-importance with no regard for others
- The false believe that he/she is more special and entitled just because he/she exists
- Exploits others for self-gain at all cost while lacking empathy and thought of others
- Requires excessive admiration, adoration and accolades
While there are numerous others, NPD has become quite a topic with various books on the topic. Bottom line is in today’s society one just needs to see someone’s instagram or facebook account and get an idea to the level of it one has. It is easy to detect narcissism in a simple 5 minute or less conversation. It shouldn’t be a shock that there are so many deceived for it is written in the Word, Ephesians 5:15-17, ‘Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise,making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.’ It is very clear when the focus is on self that there is no room for God. We all have a choice which ego we allow: ‘Edging God Out’ or ‘Edifying God Only’.
So it’s clear we are in the days and times that we are in and if you are finding yourself challenged by the narcissists in your life what do you do? How do you interact? Well; it’s quite simple. Forgive. Yes. Simply forgive. And then I add pray for them that their eyes, hearts and ears be open to the level of deception they are covered with and that they repent according to Acts 3:19. (Of course pray in the name of Jesus- the name ABOVE ALL names)
You see; someone being a narcissist is his or her own problem just as much as your level of forgiveness is yours. The Word is also clear in Galatians 5:2-262 ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying one another.’
Now taking this into consideration it is not truly possible for one to be a narcissist and loving at the same time. There is no room for anyone else; let alone God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. Once we crucify our flesh to being the center of our own world and everyone else’s we will live different lives. It is also not possible to living in the fruit of the Spirit and unforgiving at the same time. The two cannot coexist.
Bottom line is that those who are narcissists prove what and who they are just as much as the forgiver of it. If you see and you choose to interact with it; then deal with that and move on. If you are focusing on someone being what they are; then you are by your choice not focusing on God and His master plan for your life. Philippians 4:8 outlines it quite clear: ‘Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.’ By default; you focusing on the narcissist simply feeds it. And why not feed yourself what you are worthy of instead?
If you must interact with the narcissist then get yourself in order to reach the victory. There is hope for the narcissist just as much as there is the unforgiver. Focusing on anything other than victory is a waste of time! Those narcissists by the Word of God are in direct rebellion to God’s commands and will receive what they receive from Him; which is not anyone’s concern at all. On the flip side; those obedient to God’s commands will receive and reap the blessings. It’s quite clear. Keep the focus where it should be for His glory.
Because God isn’t to be used like a magic stick to make the narcissists go away you have to be on track with your own strategy with Him so that you don’t get into sin by complaining and being unforgiving. Remember to pray for your brothers and sisters. And also remember the words of Nehemiah: “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great an awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” (4:14)
Then going to the next level in your prayers remember this: ‘Greater love that has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.’ (John 15:13-14)
It isn’t about what other people are, what disorder they have; or what you want to talk about what you think they have. It simply isn’t. It is about you living in forgiveness, remembering that you too are a sinner; and that there is hope for us all. When you stay on your own path and in the right focus the Lord will make even your enemies be at peace with you. Therefore; stay in your lane and life will be simple. Forgive and live.