How to Forgive a Liar
People are people and some are honest; while liars simply are not. Perhaps you work with one. Perhaps you married one. Or perhaps you are one. In any case; this is for you. You see; liars prove themselves what they are simply by their actions. It’s simply a matter of whether or not we pay attention to it. The signs are all there and while some are better than others; liars are always found out. And in such case as when they are; forgive. Forgive them because them and their lies are not worth the pain of even talking about it.
See; the thing about liars is that there is a deeper root operating causing them to lie in the first place. The lie typically is a deflection of the real situation at hand. It’s a cover up. It’s sick really when you are faced with someone who pretends to be one way and really they aren’t. The good news is that the when get the revelation your life will change! When you get that the person’s ways are probably not congruent with how you live then it’s time to forgive and walk away.
So how do you do it? How do you forgive a liar that masquerades probably so honest all the while treating everyone as though they are stupid? How do you get past the facade of someone who does business in dishonest ways? How do you reconcile someone who may even be in the church as a preacher who lies straight to your face? Simple. You make the choice for you my dear reader have all the power.
Through the process of forgiveness your life will change. It starts with you making the choice. These choices make it simple:
1- Make the choice to pay attention to what you know. More often than not liars have lied to you more than one time; but you let it slide. You justified it. You tried to accept that a white lie is a different kind of lie; not receiving that a lie is a lie is a lie regardless of the color. And your allowing the unforgiveness to settle in by accepting the lies you put yourself in bondage. Pay close attention so you can get free once and for all! Choose life!
2- Make the choice to act on what you know. You can know tons of things but that doesn’t mean you act on them. You know you need to eat better; but do you? You know you need to forgive; but do you? It’s one thing to know something and quite another to take the next step. For me for quite some time I ignored what I saw. That was my action; acceptance. Then when I saw it my life changed and how I acted upon it changed more.
I no longer sat in silence watching. Nope. I said something. And what happened amazed me! When I met in person with the liar what amazed me was that he wasn’t even sorry that he did it. It didn’t matter that not only did he lie to me; but to my mother and friend right to our faces. No apology. Nothing. The liar actually not only admitted it; but justified it. And- used the Bible! Yes- this is the extent that people will go to protect themselves and what you choose to do about it is on you. Period. There is no other way. If people lie to you and you do nothing; ask yourself why? If people lie to you and you don’t change the people surrounding you in your life ask yourself why? And then forgive yourself for allowing them to creep in to your life and forgive them for being sick because that really is what they are. Taking the step to forgive a liar will free you from the bondage of falling back into the trap of silent acceptance. You are worth more than accepting lies from liars.
3- Make a choice to live what you know. You know you need to forgive and make it a lifestyle; so why not start today? Why let the lies of liars come against you? You are worth more than that! Forgive them and move on. While sure we can all say liars are people too and that there is forgiveness for them; it doesn’t mean you have to allow the lies or the liars in your life. Remember that people will treat you the way that you allow. Choose and choose carefully. Choose life.
In the end; people reveal who they are in the day and the night. If you see it in the daylight; don’t think it will be different in the night for even in the darkness the truth is revealed. Don’t deceive yourself through justification and acceptance because the Word is clear that a doubleminded man is unstable in all his ways. Unforgiveness will keep you that way. The lies of liars will keep you that way too so it’s best to forgive, learn the lesson and live the lesson. Be honest and true and know that forgiveness is the way to getting free of liars and their lies.
Forgiveness is the one thing that changes more than the person who forgives. It changes the people are them too. While forgiveness is for us as individuals, on a collective scale it has more impact that we could possible think. Of course forgiveness changes you but forgiveness of mothers changes them, it changes families, communities, regions, states and nations. Change a nation and you can change the world. And it starts with changing you.
When I had to forgive my mom it wasn’t easy. I hated her. I wanted to be nothing like her and I certainly didn’t want to look like her. I loathed her. She abandoned me and left me for not-so I thought. I was angry that of all the mothers in the world; God chose her as my mother. Seriously? Yeah God sure has a sense of humor and one I certainly didn’t like! Just saying.
Once I forgave her though I started to see things different. While it was a rather lengthy process; I had to stay the course. I had to and so do you. You see my mom is sly; don’t let the walker and nursing home fool you. She lived on the streets for quite some time and she knew how handle things. She knew how to play people. She has street smarts all the while lacking in other areas just like the rest of us. She was doing what she knew; which is what most moms do. They do what they know. And I had to continue to forgive her for all those things that she did because 1) the Bible commands it, 2) the Bible commands it. We are commanded to forgive and to honor our mother and father. Yeah; I looked for clauses and exceptions on that one. Trust me. I didn’t like that whenever she lied to me I had to forgive. When she manipulated me for something I had to forgive. When she committed to move to Dallas from Houston and then changed her mind the day before leaving me with the entire bill I had to forgive. I was the victim all over again; and yet I was required to forgive. Figure that one out. But here’s the thing: things changed.
I started to change. I could have been bitter and resentful; that would have been easy. But that is the lie of the enemy! As I I started to see how my forgiveness was not only softening me I saw it softening her her too. She started to ask questions. She started to care. She asked things like, ‘why are you so nice to me’ which I must say I cried about. (she doesn’t know that though) She stopped being so contrary and screaming at the top of her lungs at me. She actually got out of bed to go the mess hall for breakfast. Then lunch. Finally; dinner. And now; she delivers the mail at the nursing home. She plays bingo. She goes to lunch with the women she used to judge and hate. She attends Bible study. She has a life and for the very first time. Praise God! And when I say praise God I mean that because it’s His Word that rings true every time! We just have to get in alignment with it.
Now I get that your mother is nothing like my mom; praise God! All mothers are different yet still the same. They each have their own journeys, faults, ways of giving and loving, hurts and regrets; and futures to look forward to. It’s when we recognize this then we can get ourselves in position to forgive. We can then be in position to love. And isn’t that just what Jesus has done for us? He met us right where we were and right where we are so that He can do a new thing in our lives? And so when we meet mothers right where they are we can do a new thing in their lives. And let me tell you from personal experience; it’s beautiful. And so is she. My best guess is that your mom is too; you just have to uncover you to let her shine.
Mothers do so much for people yet it isn’t until we stop and reflect on it that we see it. Most stay at home mothers will agree! Some studies find that if calculated the average income for a stay at home mother would be over 100k; that’s if she were paid. But yet she is not. In today’s society there must be forgiveness for stay at home mothers.
Stay at home moms sacrifice so much of themselves yet it goes unnoticed by most in society. When women are asked ‘what do you do’ and the reply is ‘I stay home with my children’ one can feel the judgment; even though some are probably secretly wishing that they could! It’s later when stay at home moms later realize just how out of touch they are when it comes to finding a job in today’s world after the children are grown. The ability to even have adult conversations can be overwhelming for some! This is why forgiveness is so vital.
So what do stay at home moms need and deserve forgiveness of?
1. Forgiveness for believing the lie they have nothing to offer.
2. Forgiveness for feeling guilty later in life for not reaching their dreams or goals.
3. Forgiveness for allowing others to treat them as less than a woman.
4. Forgiveness for not having all the right business tools and skills.
5. Forgiveness if they are not yet able to see the benefit of their sacrifice in their children.
6. Forgiveness of any guilt they have accepted to think that they were selfish, lazy, or entitled.
7. Forgiveness of any resentment they have had toward other mothers who are further along in their careers.
8. Forgiveness of the choice that perhaps they actually regret.
Stay at home moms are different than their counterparts of the working mom yet the are more alike if you pay close attention. Both moms need and deserve forgiveness for their sacrifice; because both are making sacrifices it’s just a matter of being able to live with the outcomes of them.
Stay at home moms contribute much to society; it just happens to be in the raising up of future generations and not themselves in their current generation. This can’t be ignored. If you have ignored that forgive yourself. And if you are a stay at home mom celebrate it. You have every reason to. If you haven’t yet forgiven yourself for where you are- do it now. And then relax because this too shall pass- and you don’t want to miss it.
Women are changing the world; whether we like it or not or even think it’s good women are changing the world. Carly Fiori just announced she will run for president for the GOP. Hilary Clinton is giving it a go. And more women are rising up to live their lives in a different way than many may agree with. There must be forgiveness for the working mom (the stay at home mom too but that’s for tomorrow). When we forget or just simply ignore what working mothers do, experience and accomplish we miss it. And let’s not forget that the Proverbs 31 woman worked. Yes folks; she was productive and fruitful in society!
So you may ask: why do working mothers need forgiveness? What do they need forgiveness for? Well besides the obvious that we all need it it’s more than that. If you were to ask any working mother if she has regrets, feels guilty, sometimes feels ashamed, condemns herself, feels like she is lacking, selfish, disorganized; or even falling apart then you would know. And who is anyone to judge? Yet many do without knowing one single thing about the working mom they place judgment on. Forgive. Give them freedom to chase their dreams with their children right next to them? What better example could that be? Of course I have to add the husband there too because I love men and leaving men out just would be sac religious. I’m not a feminist.
If you are a working mother forgive others for the bondage they either have or have attempted to place on you. Forgive them for they know not what they do. They aren’t in your shoes! No one knows your real circumstance and heart except for you and the Lord. And if you have unforgiveness toward yourself for working; forgive yourself. Do it now! You do not want another day to go by where you are living in the bondage of your choices. That is not God’s best.
When you forgive your life will change. Forgive yourself for not being there for your children when you want to. Forgive yourself for being too tired to have sex with your husband because you worked and took care of the children. Forgive yourself for not thinking you are doing enough. Forgive yourself for comparing yourself to your neighbors who are stay at home mothers. Just forgive it all! You are worth it. Your level of forgiveness will change your interaction with your children, husband and everyone around. Own the fact that you are a working woman and that if you are fine with it; that’s all you need to be. No apology necessary. It is your life after all.
It’s time as a society that the judgment and unforgiveness be removed toward the working mother. She is brilliant, dynamic, a sacrificer and sometimes the breadwinner. It’s time for both men and women come together in support of one another. It’s actually beyond time! We need to remain focused on what God would have for each of us and in the big scheme of things; it’s walking in love. And of course forgiveness.
Forgiving your mother is life changing. It transforms not only your life; but hers too. How do I know? I had to forgive my biological mother. I had to forgive her big time. And now I see the life change in both of us.
What happened to me probably doesn’t happen to most. My biological mother told me she was going to get pizza; but never came back. I was three. I was placed into a foster home and then adopted into an abusive home and they put me in a homeless shelter- all by age 15. I had to forgive. Big time. You see I hated my mom. I hated everything about her. Because of her selfishness my life was wrecked. Perhaps that is where you are today.
I’m quite confident that your mom is not perfect. She may not have loved you in the way that you actually needed or wanted to be loved. She probably didn’t allow you to do all that you wanted to do. And even maybe she loved your brothers or sisters more. I know what that is like. I’ve had more sets of parents than people have had wedding dresses! So not only did I have 1 mother to forgive; but I had several. And yes it was hard without a doubt because each of them did different things wrong and it was me the victim who had to forgive. Doesn’t sound fair does it?
I met my mom for the first time in 2003. She opened the door looked me up and down and then walked away! And I had to forgive. I learned after I spoke with her that while I was being abused as a child in my adoptive home that she lived about 15 minutes from me and was competing in dance competitions every Saturday. And I had to forgive. And I absolutely hated her. And I hated my adoptive mother even more. Much more. I hated every ounce of her 6’0″ being with a passion. And I had to forgive. So how did I do it? How do you do it? It’s the hardest process with simple steps which I’m sure doesn’t make any sense but will change your life.
1- Make the choice. Every single thing you do is because of a choice you make. The choices you have today are because of the choices you made yesterday. Forgive. Don’t forgive. Life in freedom. Live in bondage. All your choice. What do ‘you’ want? Every choice you make changes your life. Every choice. When I made the choice to forgive in reality I was making the choice to be obedient to the Word of God. I thought I was; yet I was living in unforgiveness. Once the choice was made there was no going back. None. The more mothers I forgave the more power came into my life; the more I felt the presence of God.
After I made the choice and sat in my room crying for 2 days straight over NYE I felt different. I looked different. My eye color changed! Nothing in my life was the same. Not one single thing.
After that I sent letters to my adoptive and biological mothers telling them that I forgave them.My adoptive mother replied; which was the first correspondence in about 10 years or longer. She explained that she didn’t know her actions caused me such pain. Now; one could ask how could she not! But for me- who cares. I forgave her. I was free. What she does and says is not my business.
With my biological mother; she called me. We spoke. I made the drive from Dallas to Houston to see her in person; the first time in 4 years. On that day she gave her life to Jesus. Both of us were changed on that day. And both forever.
In the end what I learned is that I had a mother who wanted to love me but couldn’t and one that could and wouldn’t. I had to forgive them both and the others too so that I could go on with my life. I learned that every mother has her own set of circumstances that she is dealing with and that mothers do what they know. If all they know is from what their mothers knew or know; then there you have it. We all do what we know and until we know what we know; we can’t truly expect others to do something that they can’t because they don’t know. This is why Jesus dying on the cross said, ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do’ in Luke 23:34. Your mother knows what she knows and what I am going to count on for sure is that in her own way she loves you. And that is what matters. And that is where through you forgiving her your life will change. And aren’t you ready for that?
For more about forgiveness and to hear testimonies and stories watch ‘Living in Forgiveness’ on Tuesdays at 9:20pm on the UANetwork. Check your local listing. Or watch On-Demand: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
Being a mother is not easy. Ask any woman. Ask any woman what it is like on a daily basis being a mother. It doesn’t matter if a mother stays at home with her children or works. It simply doesn’t. The regret that many women face for their choices is something that is hard for many to talk about and men to grasp. It’s a silent pain that many even feel guilty about. The wonderful news is that there is forgiveness!
If you are a mother who has had thoughts or currently regrets having your children because your life changed; don’t let it consume you. It’s ok that you have those thoughts. Then take them captive! There is no guilt that you should just be happy that you have children because so many others can’t. That’s rubbish! This has nothing to do with anyone or anything else but you. As we approach Mother’s Day reflect on that and how you can get to what you want; with your children and all. You are after all a mother who survived child birth right? Maybe you may have thoughts of the dreams you once had if only you didn’t have children. Perhaps you wanted to travel to Monaco and write or perhaps you always dreamed of being a chef but because you now have children you have to plan birthday parties and play chauffeur. Regardless of what it is; know that forgiveness is there so that you don’t have to suffer more in silence because of a choice that you made. There is forgiveness and it starts with you.
1. Forgive yourself for hiding your thoughts and feelings. When you own how you feel and what you think; you will find power in it. Do not allow society to tell you where you should be by when and at what point. It will only add more pressure for you to be what you are not or don’t desire to be. If you regret having children; share it and share why. Write it down if you don’t want to share it with friends. Or share it with those you love. It may be the one thing that not only frees you; but frees others well. They may have something to share that will change your life! Your regret for having children most likely has nothing to do with your children but where you are in your life. Forgive yourself for allowing the bondage that’s holding you back. You are worth more than that!
2. Forgive yourself for thinking you are alone. There is an entire movement about women in society who regret having children so you are not alone. Do not believe that you are the only who has ever had those thoughts or lived in regret. It may be that you wanted something else for your life; but why not make it so now? Don’t focus on the ‘I can’t’ because you won’t get anywhere. You can and you just have to truly want it to make it so! Why allow yourself to think you are alone and that there is no hope! There are more women just like you than you think. You see; Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ What does this mean? You have a future! You are not alone. God’s Word also tells us in Deuteronomy and also in Psalms that He will never leave us or forsake us. You my dear beautiful reader are not alone. Do you realize that there has never been a moment in your life when you have not been loved?
3- Forgive yourself for the shame, embarrassment and guilt for your thoughts. The enemy’s goal is to kill, steal and destroy. Destroy what? It doesn’t matter! The whole goal is destruction. If you are destroyed in your mind by feeling shameful for regret you will lose. If you are destroyed in spirit by guilt you are being destroyed. There is no freedom in that. It’s time to loose the ties that bind! You are too strong to be destroyed!
Women and all women need to stand together. It isn’t about celebrating women except the one named Sarah Palin. It just isn’t. It’s about women stopping the judgment and hate toward one another. If we look carefully and closely; we don’t even need men involved to do anything because women can tear down women all on their own. Men need not be blamed for that! That is how much power women have yet in silent and secret women hide in fear of that same judgment and power from one another. It’s time to let it go. It’s time to be honest and say, ‘Yep. I do love my children. And yep; there are times when I regret having them. Yep. I feel selfish and guilty for it. Yep I don’t think my husband would understand. And yep; I’m finally ready to forgive myself and recognize that I am here and that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Phi 4:13) And that means getting beyond the regret to see that I can live a wonderful life.’ And then it’s time to accept that you are a woman and that you are no different than any other and that through forgiveness of regret of what comes with being a mom you will survive; it’s just what you do. You survive.
Abortion is something in society that isn’t talked about in full. It’s something that is done in part for the preservation of a woman’s future; but talking about what women experience after the fact are things not truly explored.
Abortion has impact. It has impact on society, the men involved if they are aware, future generations and of course the woman who has the abortion. What is crazy is that 37% of women obtaining abortions identify themselves as Protestant, and 28% identify themselves as Catholic (AGI)! In 2011, women who had not aborted in the past accounted for 53.7% of all abortions; women with one or two prior abortions accounted for 37.1%, and women with three or more prior abortions accounted for 9.3% (CDC). And so we see abortion effects many. It has impacts that are longer lasting than what people recognize so it begs the question: is there forgiveness for abortion?
I listened to an interview with singer songwriter Toni Braxton and what captured me wasn’t so much about the fame or her career; but rather the abortion she regretted.
Toni spoke about her family and the tough financial trials and the bankruptcy she went through. It was during that time that she got pregnant and couldn’t see herself raising a child when she was in the midst of financial fall. She talked about how much she regretted having an abortion and how selfish she now sees her choice. Her selfishness is what caused her to swipe the existence and future from that baby’s life.
What captured me was 1) she knew it was selfish, 2) her regret. Those two things speak volumes without a doubt. She continued that she later become pregnant and her child was born with autism. She believed the autism was punishment from God and that yes; she deserved it. Now this is where forgiveness comes in to play. When there is forgiveness the slate is wiped clean! Let’s say that your children apologize for making a mistake or being selfish; do you forgive them and the punish them? Of course not!
As I listened to Toni I heard her clearly. She is not unlike many women who have made the choice to abort but here is the thing: there is forgiveness. There is freedom for and from abortion. Jesus died on the cross so that we could be forgiven of our sins. And forgiveness knows no bounds. If you are like Toni; there is forgiveness for you. When there is forgiveness there is no need to live in self-condemnation. There is no need to continue to dwell on the past! The past is time gone by! When we cling to it we live in it and there is no freedom in shame of the past.
There is forgiveness for your selfish ways. All you have to do is ask. Acts 3:19 is clear for us all to follow: Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,’. The times of refreshing are there. They are waiting just for you. Do not be deceived into thinking that your choice to have an abortion isn’t forgivable. That my dear friend; is a lie. God’s Word says so.
I encourage you today to seek forgiveness because it will change your life. It will set you free. It will remove the chains of bondage. Let it all go! Let go of the shame, guilt, condemnation, self-loathing, regret; and all of rest of the cousins attached. There is no need to continue like Toni and live in shame as she said for the sins that she committed that she repented of. God is a loving God and not one who simply hates and isn’t forgiving. It would be a lie to think that. It’s a trap! Yes we all make mistakes there is no doubt although this sin is just as forgivable as all of the rest of them.
There is a future for your life regardless of whether or not you believe it just yet. There is hope too. You don’t have to live without it. You don’t have to continue to suffer in silence. You are valued. You are loved. You are forgiven. It’s just up to you to get it.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/
**Starting May 5th Living in Forgiveness will air Tuesdays at 9:30pm**
America has a heart condition. It’s bigger than you may think. One only needs to look around and see it. There is no reason that in the land of the free such hatred, bitterness and resentment is bred quicker and on larger scales than love and peacefulness. You know it’s not the best day when you realize that American soldiers are safer in war in other countries than in some neighborhoods in their own country. There is an issue and until we deal with the root it; nothing will change. We have got to get it- and now!
The problem isn’t about this state funded program or that; that is just a bandaid. The government doesn’t need to create more money out of thin air to give away for nothing; it’s proven that does not work. We need to get to the core root of the issue and that is unforgiveness. Simple as that.
Until the hearts of the people are changed; nothing will change. Until those with agendas stop their nonsense of demanding tolerance in the name of intolerance nothing will change. Until there is forgiveness of the past; and all of the past nothing will change. Until the hatred is removed out of the hearts of people are filled with love- nothing will change. And until we recognize that burning our country is stupid then we are not going to get very far. So the question is: what can you do today to change the tone? Perhaps walking in love and forgiveness would be a good start; after you are able to do it of course!
The mistakes that people make can and do destroy communities. We see this in the good and the bad. There is no way around it and for some; the devastation is never overcome for some. The pain of lives torn apart, the hearts left grieving; and the unforgiveness that settles in all reaps what it sows. It is something that only those who have experienced it can truly understand. It paints a picture of pure destruction in the most concrete of ways. It begs the question: what does a community do to overcome the mistakes others make to forgive? It’s simple although not easy. Forgive. When the heart is cleansed lives will change. We have to get what it is about:
1. Forgiveness is about individual healing. Forgiving others has nothing to do with what the other person did. This is the biggest problem in our society. The focus on what others have done and so what? Look in the mirror! What have ‘you’ done? Fix that! Your focus will reveal exactly where you are; and the results of it. We can look at Adam and Eve and see it- they focused on what they weren’t supposed to and they fell. America is focusing on everything else but what it was founded on and guess what? It’s falling! We as individuals need to get our focus changed to seeing what we are doing is not right. It just doesn’t. What you do to make change is what will breed in others. You have all the power! You really do. Power to change the message you are sending. So what are you going to do about it? Spread this blog post or send yet one more picture of someone looting? It’s your choice. What do you want to be responsible for? Sharing life or death? Again; your choice.
2. Forgiveness restores communities. When you make the choice to forgive life changes. Now yes we have to stop shooting and looting long enough to get to a place of this; however, if you are not in a war zone in your community you can start the change now. Be part of restoration right where you live. When a community of individuals come together in forgiveness hearts are healed and what occurred in the past while remembered; isn’t filled with the focus of what occurred and the pain that was associated with it. What it is filled with is hope. Hope for a future. Hope for what should be. Hope for what is to come. Know that it does take time; however, the steps toward restoration begins with forgiveness. We can all focus on the negative; but each person has a story. What is yours? How can your story be part of the healing process?
3. Forgiveness paves the way to the future. In order for anyone to progress forward toward a fruitful life forgiveness is the roadway toward it. It removes the stumbling blocks and all things hindering what is to come. There is never a reason to allow people and their mistakes to be a roadblock to your future; or the future of the community you are part of. Acts 3:19-20 gives us all an excellent starting point: ‘Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Messiah, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus.’ What your level of unforgiveness is plays a part. Don’t be so deceived that you are immune. The Bible is clear about that! Make sure that your path is clear and paving the right way to the right future for the right reasons.
We come together for a variety of reasons in life. It may be church, dancing, football; or even in neighborhoods to clean up the destruction of our neighborhoods. People that come together are not perfect and while the mistakes they may make be illegal, harmful to children; and even harmful to themselves what they do should not be allowed to control what others do as a result. None of us are any different. We make mistakes, we hurt people; and we all have at some point needed forgiveness and have been asked to forgive. Yes we may prove that our sins are in silent while some are stupid enough to boast them on camera; but nonetheless we all must see that we can be part of the solution. I encourage you to take the challenge and forgive. Then move on to the future that is what you were on your way to in the first place.
If you want radical change in your life forgive. Sure sure you may think although it’s true. Growing up I heard much about forgive but never knew what it was. When I became a Christian I heard more but never heard how. What good does it do to be told to do something that you don’t know how to do or even understand why or the benefits? At least that was how my mind worked at the time.
What I understand now is not only what forgive is, but how to forgive, the why and the after effects. It’s become my lifestyle and in some ways my life. I am absolutely changed by the message of forgiveness and you can be to. So how does it change you?
Forgiveness changes your heart. Unforgiveness and forgiveness alike are conditions of the heart; whether good or bad it’s up to you. The more I forgave the less my heart hurt. Sure people would do things that hurt but the pain and internal bondage wasn’t able to have the impact upon me that it once did. My heart was healed of all the pain from my past and I became able to live free and love others in freedom too. My heart wasn’t fearful of the ‘what if’s’ that used to bind me.
Forgiveness changes your relationships. I never knew the impact that my unforgiveness had on my life. I didn’t know that in the Bible bitterness was spiritual poison; even though I read the Bible. I never saw it. I couldn’t see that so long I was living in unforgiveness that it impacted my relationships to the point where I wasn’t able to give freely. Now this would make sense as you can’t give what you don’t have so think about what you are giving. Is it what you truly want to give to others? If not change it. My relationships were able to grow to a certain point; but no further. All of the symptoms related to unforgiveness kept me living in self-preservation mode to where my relationships were inhibited. I encourage you today to forgive as your relationships will forever be changed. My relationship with my biological mother changed after I forgave her. I no longer hated her; but rather saw her more in line with the way that Christ does.
Forgiveness changes the direction of your life. When you live in unforgiveness your life decisions will be based upon that. Every decision that yo make when being unforgiving is entirely different than when you are forgiving. How people are able to treat you, how you treat them; and the level of interaction with them changes. What you think and how you think changes. How you read and receive God’s Word changes. Your purpose and assignment for your life will become more clear. How else would I be able to share the great message of forgiveness had I not truly experienced it to the level that I have? It would not be possible for me to do and on national television! God created you for something specific and it may very well be that your mess will become your message that will be your message; and once you live life in forgiveness it will become so clear that even a fence post would get it. Your life will never be the same. Get ready I say to you today!
Forgiveness was the biggest game changer in my life. I have shared in the past my eye color and voice changed which is true; but it’s so much more than that. It is every single aspect and component of every single part of my life changed. It opened my eyes to seeing people more in line with God’s Word. It opened my heart to becoming more accepting. It opened my eyes to seeing more than I ever could before. Nothing in my life is as it was nor will be as it is in this very moment and the very same would be for you too. How do I know? Because I know God’s Word, His message, and that it never returns void. I know that your heart will be forever changed and as it is; so will you. And my dear friend; you are worthy of that.
People and society will always have an opinion; whether a good one or not is really not relevant. It’s moreso the fact that others think that they have your life figured out when in reality they can’t even function in their own lives.
American society will always try to change you by telling you what you ‘should’ do. The media does it and people don’t get it. There once was a time when the purpose of the media was to report the news; those days are gone. According to the Agenda Setting Theory it was tell people what to think about; now it’s what to think. Now the media just makes the news instead because people are proving incapable of making decisions for themselves. Perhaps you live in Ukraine or Israel and experience the same thing. It probably happens to us all.
And so it goes you have been deceived. You probably have been told what you should wear for the next season. Oh yes if you live in Italy it’s just your custom be so well dressed; whether you feel like it or not. You have been told what car you should drive; what neighborhood you should live in. You probably have been told that by now you should at least be married, if not already divorced with three kids you never wanted in the first place. Oh and you should have at least a BA or BS but in today’s world you really should think about getting that MBA if you expect to go anywhere in your career.
Yep. I heard it all. I heard all the should’s known to man. I dated the man who actually told me, ‘You should dress like her, talk like her, and wear your hair like her. Then you would be beautiful.’ You should have seen his face when I walked out and never looked back. And don’t tell me I should have; unless it was just to see the look on his face. But I already knew.
So it begs the question: are you living the life you should be living? Or are you living the life others think you should be living? It’s a tough question I know. I once was there. I had the Bible teacher tell me that at age 37 I should have a teenager because that is where I ‘should’ have been. There is a systematic order to how life goes you see. Yeah sure. I see the misery on the faces of all the people who followed what others said they should do. It goes the way it is supposed to go for each of us and it’s only until we stop the should’s that we can be free.
If you are trapped into living what others think stop. Forgive yourself and do it quick. God has a plan specifically for you. Jerermiah 29:11 makes it very clear: ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Your plan is for you and you alone. If you don’t know it- get with God. Going to man to ask questions only God can answer makes no sense!
You don’t want to live for others who aren’t even living it out for themselves. That doesn’t even make sense. You are where you are and while it may not be where you want to be; you are the one to change that. No one else. Forgive yourself for falling into the trap that thinking the boring house in the suburbs will answer all your questions when in actuality you are miserable but just biting your tongue waiting to escape. Forgive yourself for not being true to who you were created to be. Life is short so don’t let another day go by where you think about what you should do instead of just doing it.
We all are where we are and the best part is that no one else can get you where you should be except for you. So today; where do you want to go? Where do you want to go that you know you should have gone back then? Write it down. Habakkuk 2 is clear ‘“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets.’ Do it! There is nothing stopping you; no more could’s or should’s. Just you. Get out of your way, forgive, and get to where you are going! You can do it. How do I know? Because I did.
For more about forgiveness watch “Living in Forgiveness” on Saturdays in Dallas channels 27 & 47.2. NY & NY new channel 49.1 Stream live atwww.uanetwork.tvand watch previous episodes here: http://uanetwork.tv/uanon-demand/living-forgiveness-julie-blair/