In today’s economy businesses need an advantage; no doubt about that. There is much competition and too many choices for consumers to simply go elsewhere. Some companies focus on being faster while others pride themselves on customer service. All of this is great; except if the employees are living with a hidden secret it is to the downfall of the company. The pitfalls of unforgiveness in business are drastic and not to be hidden any longer.
See; unforgiveness kills. It’s a heart condition that spreads like cancer yet most people recognize it not. If you want your business to flourish deal with the root that is causing the problem. Most problems people have it not external but internal.
1. Unforgiveness decreases cohesiveness among employees. Unforgiving people are not pleasant to be around. Period. If your desire is for your employees to get along and to work as a team; each person is accountable and responsible for what he or she is bringing to the table. If any person in the team allows unforgiveness to enter; then count on the rest of the cousins to come to: bitterness, resentment and perhaps a little bit of anger. It’s hard to expand and grow together when internal strife is what is sitting at the meeting. It’s hard to move toward a healthy positive goal for a company with internal baggage not dealt with. Sure you may think you can put it aside but if that were the case there wouldn’t be so many angry people living in nursing homes! Time doesn’t heal wounds- forgiveness does. Forgive and deal with it for the sake of everyone around you.
2. Unforgivenesses negatively impacts the level of customer service. Customer service is a vital part of any business an if your front line employees are suffering from unforgiveness; chances are the customers feel it. It comes out in the form of impatience, irritability; and again the cousin of bitterness. The other carry along symptoms are some jealousy and envy. Those living in unforgiveness are known to typically have a difficult time serving others because of the baggage and burden of what they carry. Sure one may try to be nice; although most don’t need a degree to spot a phony! I remember working in retail paying my way through college and the holidays were especially tough. I hated seeing all the happy people in the mall shopping and being together. I didn’t have what they had and I was jealous and envious. It carried into my level of service. I couldn’t see it at the time; although of course hindsight is 20/20. I share this with you so that you and your team can deliver the best service with the best right people in the front lines. As forgiveness changes the hearts; it changes the service and the level of it.
3. Unforgiveness inhibits promotion. Because unforgiveness keeps people hindered in relationships; it’s hard to climb the ladder. Not playing well with others is a sign of unforgivness because those living in it are good at being victims of the past. What must be recognized is that everyone has a past and until it’s overcome through forgiveness; the level of promotion will probably not be likely. Promotion includes the ability to lead and if you can’t properly get along with yourself then who else would want to be along for that journey? Those following or attempt to would merely suffer the consequences at the hand of someone your unforgiveness.
As a result; unforgiveness is something to be taken serious in a personal and professional life. Most think it’s just something to be talked about perhaps once a year during the holidays at a church here and there. The thing is that it is vital to the success in life. It is vital to the success in marriage an the health of it. And if you want to be climbing the ladder, to be a leader; to be the next best CEO forgiveness and unforgiveness alike will have that impact on you and your business. Make the choice today to make forgiveness the priority for you and the health of your employees and their better health will impact yours.
There is much talk lately about identity theft and for good reason.What’s sad is that as much as it’s talked about; unless it happens to you there doesn’t appear to be much concern. What’s worse is that when it comes to identity in Christ; it appears even less are concerned. It’s a shame because without forgiveness in Christ there is no pure identity. And without that; people perish. Isn’t it time you got your true identity back?
When we go to the beginning we can see that it was all laid out accordingly; but because of free will people have the choice to grow closer to God; or depart from Him. Before Adam made the choice to be misled by his wife Eve; he had a clear identity and plan. It’s clear in Genesis 2:15-18. “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (NIV)
God gave Adam his identity and purpose; He created Him with one and the same is for you too. Obviously God and Adam had a relationship as well which is truly no different than people today; except many choose to forsake God through rebellion. They take what little identity they think they have created to go live a life they think is unto God yet know Him not. God knew Adam and Adam knew God. The plan was for Adam to take care of the garden and expand God’s Kingdom with his lovely wife Eve. What is your purpose? What are you doing to protect your identity in Christ?
While we know that Adam’s sin was putting his wife before obedience to God, that Adam was told to protect all that was in the garden; and that Eve was deceived. What we must recognize is that through the choice to sin; identity was lost. Period. When you make the choice to turn away from God to live your life your way; you lose out and in more ways than you can possibly imagine. Nothing was the same for Adam or Eve. It couldn’t be. Nothing will be the same for you either unless you choose the path of forgiveness in Christ to get your real identity.
Your identity in Christ is really all you have. Period. Outside of that you have and are nothing. Period. Sure you may have a nice title at work; but so what? Who cares? At the end of the day does it define you? And if it does what happens when you lose the job and title? Then do you allow the title of ‘unemployed’ define you? If your identity is found in the beautiful car you flaunt yourself in for everyone to see; why are you thinking so lowly of yourself that that is all you are worth is a car that depreciates every mile you drive? If your identity is created by sleeping with men with hoping they will love you knowing otherwise I want you to know that beyond it all there is something so much bigger in your identity!
You are worth so much more than you have settled for. I know this to be true because I have lived through the pain of not knowing. It wasn’t until I truly understood forgiveness, how to forgive, and what it even is that I started to have an identity. You see; unforgiveness separates you from God. It brings distance between you and Jesus. But once you make the choice to overcome you will have life and to the full. Acts 3:19 is clear: “Repent and seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.” (NIV) Your identity is part of the refreshing package!
As you forgive and truly seek the Lord for your identity in Him; your life will change. It has to! You will never be the same- in Jesus Name. The things of the past will no longer have the impact they once did. The people who used you, abused you; and reused you will have no power to harm you. They can’t. Those who stole from you will never be able to do because you know who you are in Christ.
The things that you gave away to get what you never could will be a thing of the past. You and your identity will be treasured in ways that could only come from Him. God’s Word is clear that He will never leave you or forsake you; and isn’t it time that you stop forsaking Him? It’s beyond time! It is time now for forgiveness to reign, for your identity to be restored and the real you to stand up for the assignment that He has waiting for you. That is what it is time for!
It’s amazing how many in the body of Christ are living in lack yet try appear to look oh so happy sitting in Church two or three times each week. What is wrong with this picture? There is lack in health, lack in mindset, lack in self-control, lack in finances, lack in relationships, lack in peace; lack lack lack. The great news is that you can overcome lack through forgiveness. You can. How do I know? God’s Word proclaims it in Philippians 4:13 ‘For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.’ (NLV)
Now don’t get me wrong; I get it. I lived a full life of lack and the attack for longer than I wish to admit. I was the person who sat in the nice Southern Baptist Church and then the non-denominational church for 18 years and guess what? The entire time I lived in lack! Now was it the fault of the church? Nope. It was my fault 1) I didn’t spend time in God’s Word outside of church, 2) I didn’t know how to apply His Word to my life, 3) I didn’t know the lack was not normal, 4) the depth my lack had on me, the people around me; and my future generations.
When everyone around you lives in lack you appear to be happy lackers and don’t even know it it’s hard to see anything different. And look around Body of Christ. Where is the wealth? People are leaving the church and there must be a reason why. It’s when you get it that you get it. It’s time to get free and build His Kingdom! Everyone sitting there was all the same; and now I see it. But it took me a while. My prayer is that you see it ‘today’! I pray in the name of Jesus that the Spirit of Deep Sleep is removed NOW and that you are forever free- and that you can forgive!
What captured me then and even now is the cause of so many Christians living like the walking dead. I see it; and in fact I just prayed for 15 people who are professed Christians and churchgoers who are homeless, fearful about their futures, underemployed, hopeless-broke, busted, disgusted, distrusted and crusted. This is what they have believed their lives have become- all in the name of Jesus. What is so wrong that we have diminished God’s Word to mean to little- and then accept it. Remove the lies and the lack goes to. That mindset and pain has left them all in pretty much the same place- living in lack and unforgiveness.
See; until you get that forgiveness is the key to everything you can just sit with your pitiful self. You won’t go anywhere- how can you? Let’s not forget it was Jesus that died for your sins- all the while asking the Father to forgive- and so how do you honestly think think that anything in your life would ever change should you not forgive? It simply will not happen. Trust me. So you can choose- life or death. Lack or forgiveness. Period. Just make a choice. And let me remind you- not choosing is still choosing.
I didn’t know the impact of lack on my life. I lived with such angst that I destroyed myself. But hey- I went to church! I will tell you that church won’t save you, your government won’t save you, and your psychologist can’t save you either. But Jesus can. Through forgiveness your life can be renewed. Acts 3:19 is clear: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,” (NIV) You can be restored to what you have lost or plainly just given away. You can stop the madness and the trying and the idea of ‘If only I do this’ yeah sure. I did that and dated him- it didn’t work. It only created more lack. But forgiveness will change that.
So let be straight in case you missed it. If you want abundance and not lack you need to forgive. If you want to overcome you need to forgive. If you claim to be a Christian and are not living in forgiveness it’s time to pick up your cross and start walking. There is no once saved always saved. It is today! If you want to be blessed and grow in Christ- you need to forgive. You cannot have anything good in your life living in disobedience to His Word when it is a command to forgive! Matthew 6:14 is clear: ‘For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.’ (NIV)
You can live a full life. I know this because I am still standing. I have had more parents than Elizabeth Taylor has has husbands and I know what lack is all about. I know the pain of abandonment, the fear of the future; and the God that loves. I wouldn’t be able to write this if I didn’t already pick up my cross; I had to. And so do you if you want to overcome lack through forgiveness. I know too that without a doubt forgiveness is the only way through. Stop the lack. Forgive. And then live in Jesus Name.
With forgiveness comes many benefits. Alike; through unforgiveness there are many consequences. One must choose. The benefits of a lifestyle of forgiveness are vast in nature and should you want to live in victory or in abundance of God’s Word; then forgiveness must be the choice. Of course today there are simply five; but rest assured there are many more available to those who are ready to receive.
1. Forgiveness Brings Emotional Stability. Unforgiveness and forgiveness both bring emotions; it’s simply a matter of which emotions you wish to exhibit. Through unforgivness comes such emotions as depression, anger, impatience among others. When forgiveness is the chosen path; you will be choosing one filled with joy, peace, patience. When what kills is replaced with what brings life; it is reflected in every area of life and the emotions are one such way that your life will change.
2. Forgiveness Delivers Better health. What’s on the inside manifests outward. It doesn’t matter if good or bad; both manifest outward. Unforgiveness is known to be linked to arthritis, hypertension and other painful ailments. The best way to get healing obviously would be through Jesus Christ since He is the Healer; but also through forgiveness in His name. See; Acts 3:19 is clear to ‘Repent, and seek forgiveness so that times of refreshing may come.’ (NIV) It is through this that there can be deliverance. When internal clutter is removed it allows the body to be transformed. In my personal life; when I forgave those who hurt me my eye color changed. I was no longer who I was and my physical body showed it. Forgiveness really is the greatest weight loss and cheapest face lift!
3. Forgiveness Enhances relationships. The best way to enhance your relationships and even keep them is to forgive. Harboring unforgiveness only keeps people at a distance from you and it decreases your ability to create any time of intimacy. It is bondage that protects when in actually it doesn’t protect it harms more! Unforgiveness along with its symptoms diminishes partnerships, friendships, marriages and any other type of relationship it can. Be on watch and forgive so that your relationships will be enhanced through forgiveness.
4. Forgiveness Increases in opportunities. With a clean and forgiving heart there is love; and more love than you can ever imagine. And who doesn’t want to be part of that? Who doesn’t want to experience love? Through forgiveness opportunities will increase simply because of what flows from you to others. Forgiving people are patient, they are givers, they are enjoyable to be around. Those traits in and of themselves are those that will increase opportunities. If you want better business deals, more effective employees; a date or better marriage forgive. It will change your life.
5. Forgiveness Allows the ability to grow closer to God. Anything you choose in life not of God is not of God and will not bring you closer to God. Period. It is not possible to be for God and then make choices that go against His Word. It’s like saying you love life and then choose abortion; or saying you are for God and hating Israel. The two cannot coincide. Forgiveness removes the separation from God and not only grows you closer to Him; but also increases your wisdom, understanding of Who God is; and the purpose for your life. You cannot know why He created you unless you know Him. It is through obedience to Him and forgiveness; that your life will change. Trying to get from God through disobedience does not work. It cannot. Let us not forget it was His Son who died for your sins. It is through His Son that you can grow in relationship. Forgiveness is the doorway.
In the end forgiveness is life changing. There is nothing that will enhance your life more than forgiveness; and nothing that it will steal your life than unforgiveness. It’s your choice what you will have in your life and the steps that you are willing to take to get it. The benefits of a lifestyle of forgiveness are the expectation and requirement of every Believer. The benefits of a lifestyle of forgiveness are designed to give you life in abundance; and to the full.
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Unforgiveness is a sin. In the purest of forms it is a sin against God. And sin kills. Unforgiveness as a result too kills because it is sin although in its process damages you along the way. The destruction to your soul and your body are what most don’t take into consideration. This would make sense since unforgiveness is in the way; blocking the very revelation. So how does unforgiveness truly damage you?
Unforgiveness reaches you at the core of who you are; your soul and spirit. It operates internally like a virus scan program; monitoring every thought, every action; every breath. It ensures that operation to the full are consistent with keeping you miserable; keeping you dying. Your soul which is compromised of your mind, will and emotions is what progresses you through life. When living in unforgiveness the pain resides. It breeds bitterness which is poison that rots the bones. It grows into anger, resentment and the myriad of almost 40 symptoms of unforgiveness. None of which are healthy to the soul. Unforgiveness is the silent torment to the soul that keeps people dying in silence. None of the symptoms allow for any true growth in Christ. How seriously could you expect to grow closer to Christ while being separated from Him by the choice to be disobedience through unforgiveness? One cannot grow to the other. It is only until unforgiveness is removed and replaced with His Truth that freedom and growth in Christ to the full can begin. Until that time of choice begins; it is a slow damaging process to death. When the soul is replenished; life is renewed. This is why forgiveness is a process; a renewing process. Acts 3:19 is very clear: ‘Repent, and then seek forgiveness, so that times of refreshing may come.’ (NIV) There is no refreshing until the choice to repent is first. The soul will not be cleansed nor life changed for the better of His Kingdom.
In the physical body unforgiveness spreads. Anything that occurs in the spiritual aspect manifests itself in the physical. The same is true with forgiveness and unforgiveness alike. When a person lives in forgiveness there is peace; just as much so as when living in unforgiveness there is no peace. When there is no peace the body feels it. When there is stress, anger or any other negative emotion it is felt. Dr. Caroline Leaf has examined the brain related to renewing the mind Biblically and in her research has found that as people change their thoughts then it reacts in the body. When a person is bitter it rots the bones. Unforgiveness has also been known to have such additional physical symptoms of arthritis, hypertension and many others. The human body was not created to withstand the rigors of hate and evil; and sin against God. The torment caused to the body has people dying at a faster rate than necessary. I encourage you today to stop damaging your body and forgive so that you can live; and live the life you were created to live.
It is written best in 3 John 1:2 where it reads the message clear: “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” (NIV) How can you have good health and all well in your soul when living against God? You cannot be for Him and against Him at the same time. It would like going against Israel and expecting God to like it! God’s Word is clear that you are to enjoy good health and that ‘all’ may go well with you; not just some. You can get all simply by forgiving. You really can! There is peace in forgiveness to be in your soul and body. It is there waiting so you don’t have to any longer do damage to yourself. It is simply up to you to recognize that you are worth it, God commands it; and that you can do it.
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There is so much focus on forgiving and forgiveness which obviously is wonderful; but what about life after? What is life after forgiveness like? What should it be like? Most don’t ever get to a place of recognition of what it should be and that is a problem. Life after forgiveness is as much a process as forgiveness itself. Let’s explore!
1. Life after forgiveness is not the same as life with unforigveness. Everything is different when you lived as an unforgiver. Everything. The way you saw life and behaved in your relationships was based upon who you were at that time. As you forgave you changed. Therefore; nothing will be the same. Relish in that!
2. Life after forgiveness means relationships will change. Because you are are not who you used to be; your relationships can’t follow suit. Some may get better while others may dissolve. As a result of this; being aware of the changes that are coming into your life may take some time. Forgiveness and the entire process is healing. Remember you are the one who changed in your choice to forgive and as a result of you choosing to change; everything in your world will change too. For me personally; the larger things I had to forgive others for meant they were no longer in my life. There simply was no need. Some relationships had run their courses and I moved past what they could offer. It’s nothing against anyone; it simply was more about the changes that occurred in my life. I needed to move forward and some of my relationships simply would not be in alignment with that. In the case of a marriage situation; everything is forgivable. It is moreso a matter of whether or not we choose to get to a place in our hearts to forgive and then desire to continue to change in the relationship for it to grow in a healthy way.
3. Life after forgiveness will reflect the changes of you, who you are, and who you are becoming. After forgiveness nothing in you or your life will be as it once was nor will it be as it currently is. Don’t be alarmed by this! Your growth is what changes you. Now of course people who don’t forgive also grow- just not in the same way. When you forgive your life will reflect the positive growth in who you are based upon the choice to forgive but also through the act of forgiveness itself. You will never be the same. Because you aren’t the same; your life and the impact it has on others won’t either. This is probably the biggest testimony of life change through forgiveness. Who you become is reflected in the forgiveness you give.
My life changed after I forgave. Every single thing in my life changed. My eyes opened, my relationship with Christ deepened; my ministry was birthed. I was forever changed. It wasn’t until some time later that I started seeing all of what occurred through forgiveness and there are still days when I see just how much my life changed. Rest assured the one thing I can share with you is that you and your life will never be the same; but if you don’t forgive you won’t know. So today is the day to make sure you forgive so you can truly live!
Parents are people. They make mistakes and it typically isn’t until a child is grown that the ways of parents are truly revealed for what they are. Forgiving parents when they don’t necessarily deserve it is hard. I know first hand exactly how difficult it is. Forgiveness of parents who don’t do right by their children is not an easy task. With this said; it is a requirement if one wants to live a life in freedom and obedience to Christ.
The latest situation of the impact of unforgiveness is that of bride to be Alexis who univited her parents to her wedding. The issue isn’t the uninviting someone to a wedding as I’m sure it happens on occasions more than we know. It isn’t about what occurred in the past that led up to it. It isn’t about judgment of the parents or even Alexis. No. This is much bigger than this. It is about a heart condition that kills many more than AIDS, Cancer; or any other disease combined that goes undetected or talked about. This is about unforgiveness that lays its foundation in a child that never leaves until dealt with. And this is where many adult children are today; living in and with the disease of unforgiveness.
How do I know? I was much like Alexis who suffered physical abuse and ran away several times as a youth. I suffered things as a child that no child should. I was abandoned by my biological mother left to a foster home; and my adoptive parents put me in a homeless shelter before I could drive. I know the pain of what parents can do to a child and I know the results of living with unforgiveness. I too know the outcome of living in forgiveness.
You see; we all have a choice. I held much anger toward the actions of my adoptive parents. I held them accountable in my adult years for the love that I so wanted as a child but never received. I carried it all with me along with the impact. I did it until I forgave. And that was decades later.
When I forgave my adoptive parents I learned something that most children never seem to learn. Parents are people. They make mistakes. They can only do what they know how to do. This does not mean it’s correct nor does it even mean that it is what the child even needs. But it is what they do. I learned this ‘after’ I forgave.
Many in the blogosphere are calling Alexis a hero among other accolades. Whatever you deem her is your business but what she is most is a child of parents who made mistakes. When we harbor bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness toward our parents for those mistakes; we are the ones who miss out on living our real futures. Our actions simply reveal it.
If you have been ever been hurt by your parents you are not alone. If you parents are narcissistic; don’t think they are the only ones. If your parents abused you physically, emotionally or sexually; you my dear friend are not alone. It happens much more than any of us realize but get this: until your heart changes nothing changes.
Forgiveness will change your life. Your future is not about what your parents did to you; unless you want to continue to live that lifestyle. Take it from me you don’t. It sucks the life out of you. Building a future on hate from what others have done is no way to build a life, a future; or marriage with future children involved.
On this day; forgive. Forgive your parents for not being what you expected them to be. Forgive your parents for the rejection, abandonment, neglect, badgering, bullying; hurting you physically, emotionally and sexually and all the other things that they did to you. Simply forgive them. It doesn’t matter if they knew what they were doing as it’s not about them. Not anymore; that is unless you wish to live as an unforgiver. It is about you and your future.
When you forgive you will live in a different way. When I forgave my adoptive mother it was the first time I ever heard an apology. She wrote that she never knew the impact of the pain she caused me. Many may question how one cannot think physical abuse hurts but that is irrelevant. She apologized and my only requirement was to forgive her. The rest is between her and God. That is it. And through that I see that parents are just parents. And they; like you I-need forgiveness.
When it comes to forgiveness and history; school textbooks have it wrong. Gone are the stories of valor and real history. Even in some texts the Holocaust has been removed because it’s considered offense and in it’s place are the likes of Miley Cyrus and Beyonce in institutions such as Rutgers. In such a time and place of this; we need to be reminded of heroes and not antics of those who enjoy the debauchery of their day all for self glorification. And today is the day for sharing forgiveness, history; and a hero not much talked about in today’s time. Wherever you are in the world you have your own hero. I’m sure those of you in Israel you won’t soon forget Har-Zion.
The story of Father Kapuan is one that every American should know. Emil Kapaun-priest, soldier and Korean War hero and one who exudes it. He was awarded the Medal of Honor, the nation’s highest military award, and is considered by the Vatican for canonization as a saint. President Obama also recognized him for his service in 2013. (https://www.youtube.com/embed/AZuPrQBSDCs) Now one does not need a Pope or president to declare one as a servant of the Lord; although the man made recognition is not one that most receive or experience. It is wonderful that such accolades are bestowed upon someone who actually did something useful and for the advancement of his fellow man; and not just his own pocketbook at the cost of the consumer. We need to look at the character of such men and women today who stand up to be hero’s and not forget that being a real hero comes sacrifice. Father Kapaun time and time again sacrificed much; but for the gain much larger than even he may have recognized. The level of love and forgiveness in his heart is the purest example.
In reflection of the actions of this man he displayed love. He displayed courage. He displayed strength above all. In his sound mind he stood up to the enemy without fear. Psalm 118: 6 best references him: ‘The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’
It is not possible to walk in love while being unforgiving. Father Kapaun understood this. He did all he did walking in love and forgiveness. He saved lives. He lived his life walking as a soldier of war but also a soldier for God. What a man to be able to have lived doing both all the while leaving none behind; regardless of where or who they were.
So it is cause for question: Where are you today? What are you walking in? What choices are you making to better not only your life but of those around you? When you recognize what is in your heart you will see the power you have; to infect or impact.
Forgiveness and unforgiveness alike a revealed in every single one of us. There is no way to deny this. This man, this hero; Father Kapuan is a reflection of forgiveness and love. His life and story reveal it. What is yours? Is it what you want it to be? If not then make the change and make it so. Start with forgiveness so you can love- and then love some more. Be the hero that you were created to be!
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When it comes to forgiveness; there is much that people do not understand. The health benefits of forgiveness is just one area of forgiveness that changes people’s lives. What occurs internally is reflected externally; therefore dealing with the unforgiveness and its symptoms will not only change your health but your life too.
Some basic health benefits of forgiveness are:
1. Lower blood pressure. When a person lives in unforgiveness even the mention of the person or situation that brought the unforgiveness brings an increase in blood pressure. The very thought of what occurred in the past is where it begins and it’s rooted in still living in unforgiveness. When unforgiveness is dealt with to the full; any mention of a person or past situation will have no impact of change to blood pressure or emotional flare-up.
2. Less depression. Unforgiveness keeps people in a state of depression. Why? Because unforgiveness keeps people living and focusing on people and events of the past; all of which are not the most pleasing or happy. When time is given to negative and hurtful things in your mind it will then progress to behaviors, actions and attitudes toward it. If you want to get free from depression; forgive.
3. Less arthritis. Arthritis has been linked to unforgiveness. The spill over of bitterness is also deep rooted because bitterness is spiritual poison. When the joints and bones start rotting there is a clue that something spiritual is taking place. What you see coming out of a person is from within. Psalm 31:10 “For my life is spent with sorrow, my years with sighing. My strength fails because of my iniquity [guilt]. My bones are wasted away.”
Making forgiveness your lifestyle should be a priority; moreso than taking any medication that merely masks it. Forgiveness will change your life. For me the benefits are huge! My eye color and my voice changed once I dealt with all the unforgiveness that plagued my life for decades. My relationships have changed for the better as has my health. So I ask you: how is your health? If you want better health then start forgiving. Ask the Lord and Holy Spirit to reveal to you where that unforgiveness is; and to whom you need to forgive. Don’t deceive yourself into thinking you are so above it- as that too will only lead you to your own path of destruction. Get forgiving and get the healing that will free you and your future!
Forgiveness and unforgiveness are a part of life. There is no doubt at some point in your life you will be faced with a decision: to forgive or not to forgive. And as such; regret will be a factor in that decision. Regret can serve as an impediment to the level of forgiveness a person is able to receive and give. Regret of not spending more time with your family, putting your career first; not making the big play; or simply not giving your all can wreck havoc on your life. You can overcome regret to receive forgiveness in full.
How does regret play a part in your life in forgiveness? 3 simple ways:
1. Regret keeps you suffering from past mistakes. 2 Corinthians 7:10 tells us, ‘For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.’ People make mistakes. We all do. There was a time in my life where I knew I was forgiven; yet when certain things were brought up I felt an instant level of regret. I knew I was moving forward and didn’t understand how if I were forgiven I will still suffering. See; I didn’t at the time know that regret was like the virus scan program operating in the background of my life. Even though I was drawn to my savior Jesus I did not know regret was still an issue. Once I understood the impact of it- my life changed! It felt like I instantly lost 20lbs. I didn’t need to suffer any longer. And neither do you. Forgiveness took it all away. What a revelation!
2. Regret keeps you focused on yourself. Similar to shame; regret keeps you focused on what you could or should have done. Yes; sure you know someone forgave you yet you haven’t fully received it. Why? Because your regret keeps you continuously thinking and reliving what you could or should have done or not done to change the situation that has already taken place. Your focus of thought impacts every area of your life- and those thoughts first impact you. When regret is the main focus your life will not be free. Isa 43:18-19 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” When you are focused on the mistakes you have made you are not 1) focused on the things above, 2) moving forward, 3) living in the forgiveness bestowed to you. Your focus is disallowing you to be. Your focus on you is your biggest problem. When I was faced with the mistakes of my past I knew I was forgiven; yet I was more distant from the Lord and couldn’t figure out why. Regret. Simple as that. My regret kept me focusing on me instead of the Lord and the blessing He gave me in the gift of forgiveness. Is it the same for you?
3. Regret disallows forgiveness to flow. Regret is an obstacle; a hindrance to the flow of forgiveness. It is like the dam that blocks the river waters. Forgiveness is there; but it can’t fully operate because the level of regret is too high. It doesn’t allow you to see what you have been given, that the mistakes of the past are not to be lived and relived. The past is gone; but a thought of yesterday. If you harbor it- it will hinder you and ultimately will kill you. If someone forgave you; why then would you allow regret to enter in and steal it? That is like leaving your door open for someone to rob you all the while paying for a wonderful insurance plan. And who does that?
It took me many years to realize that regret was in my way. Sure I knew forgiveness and its impact; but not much about the hindrance of regret. If you are struggling with regret of your past; whether it’s for cheating, having an abortion, drunk driving, bullying another person; or whatever single thing you have done I encourage you right now to let it go. You cannot change what you have done. You can’t. What you can do is forgive yourself and move on. Your life is too precious and your future is worth more than the regret of the mistakes you made that you have already been forgiven for. Don’t let it eat up years of your life like I did. It simply is not worth it.